Contents
TITLE PAGE
CHAPTER 1: A Day at the Beach
CHAPTER 2: Baby Steps
CHAPTER 3: If at First You Don’t Succeed…
CHAPTER 4: …Try, Try Again
CHAPTER 5: The Panic Button
CHAPTER 6: The Smell of Success
COPYRIGHT PAGE
The Land of Ooo had never seen a finer beach day. Cotton candy clouds clustered in the bright blue sky. White-capped waves washed onto sandy shores. The scent of salt water suffused the soothingly silent air.
But suddenly, the serene scene was interrupted by the appearance of a monstrous purple beast. It scurried across the sand, dressed in baby-blue cowboy boots.
Finn cried as he emerged from the forest. The beast turned around and unleashed a fiery blast in Finn and Jake’s direction.
Jake yelled, jumping out of the way.
the beast demanded. ‘It’s gross!’
‘You can’t just go around stealing boots!’
Finn complained.
‘Yeah, and you know the penalty for stealing boots,’ Jake added. ‘It’s poots! On newts!’
Finn and Jake had a chuckle and a fist bump over that clever rhyme. Then they gasped as they watched the giant newt wade into the water.
‘He’s getting away into the lake! Let’s get him,’ Finn yelled.
‘Dude, that isn’t a lake.That’s an ocean,’ Jake corrected his best buddy.
Fortunately for Finn, his clever canine companion was not only better at identifying geographical features, he could also shape shift into almost any form imaginable. Jake stretched his legs until they were spaghetti-thin, and he towered over the forest.Then he jumped into the ocean, ready to race after the enormous amphibian.
Finn ran after him, laughing until his feet touched the edge of the shore. Then the vastness of the ocean filled the depths of his heart with fear. So Finn did what any normal boy would do when he found himself in a similar situation. He stopped and listened to the sounds of his best friend’s farts. Jake was emitting his most noxious smelly gasses into the air while riding the monstrous newt like a bucking sea bronco.
‘Poots on newts! Poots on newts!’ Jake chanted gleefully.
Finn laughed and forgot all about his biggest fear for the moment.
‘I’m coming, Jake!’ Finn called. ‘I’ll poot on that newt, as soon as I’m barefoot!’
But as Finn sat down in the sand to take off his socks, the sea rose up before him, as if taunting him. He was the chicken of the sea and the ocean knew it!
Finn screamed as the tide crept up to him. In his mind’s eye, it was bloody red.
Finn’s stomach gurgled and bubbled with nervousness. At least Finn thought it was nervousness, until a stream of black smoke began to rise from his belly button. Finn writhed in pain as a ghoul-like creature escaped from his body.
‘Who … who are you?’ Jake stammered.
‘I am the manifestation of your fear,’ the ghoul hissed. ‘Fear of the ocean!’
‘What?’ Finn protested. ‘I’m not afraid of lakes, wells, or rivers, streams, or deep wells or potholes. Why would I be afraid of…’
Finn screamed as the tide crept up to him again.
Fear Feaster laughed. ‘Because you’re a wuss!’
Finn yelled as he shook his fist at Fear Feaster. ‘I’m the hero ’round these parts.’
‘You’re too scared of the ocean to ever be a true hero,’ Fear Feaster countered.
‘Not true,’ Finn replied adamantly. ‘I’m not scared of nothing!’
Finn rushed toward the ocean, eager to prove his fearlessness. But as soon as a wave came his way, Finn stopped and whimpered like a frightened puppy. Desperate to pull himself together and to prove his heroic nature, Finn took a deep breath and tried to get all Zen about it.
‘I shall conquer my fear,’ he chanted to himself.
‘Yeah, right,’ laughed Fear Feaster.
Finn said angrily. ‘I’ll conquer my fear.’
‘Of course, you will,’ Fear Feaster snarled. ‘And I live in a two-bedroom apartment that doesn’t smell like vomit.’
Fear Feaster began to retreat back into Finn’s belly button. He had one word to share before he disappeared completely.
‘Sarcasm,’ he informed Finn, just in case Finn had missed it. ‘I really live in your belly.’
As soon as Fear Feaster vanished, Jake came huffing and puffing up the beach.
‘Dude, did you see me?’ he asked Finn. ‘I was all like – And then I was like, And then…’
Jake noticed that his buddy wasn’t reacting to the fight tale with his usual enthusiasm.
‘Hey, what’s wrong with you, dude?’ Jake asked.
‘Jake, I think I’m afraid of the ocean,’ Finn confessed.
‘Say what now?’ Jake replied in disbelief. ‘I need your help to overcome my fear,’ said Finn. ‘Will you do it?’
Jake scratched his head several times.
‘Um, no,’ he answered. ‘I don’t really wanna do it.’
‘Jake! Come on!’ Finn howled.
Jake chuckled.This was too easy.
‘I’m just messing with you,’ he admitted. ‘I’ll do it.’
Finn smiled with relief. If anyone would be able to help him overcome his fear of the ocean, it was his best friend forever – Jake!
‘Hmmm, where to start?’ Jake said.
‘I think we should just take a few steps into the water. You can hold Jake’s hand if you’re scared.’
Jake grabbed Finn’s clammy hand. He started to nudge him toward the water, but Finn was completely immobile. Jake pulled harder, but Finn didn’t take any steps. He just fell flat on his face.
‘Um, it’s okay, dude,’ said Jake. ‘I see the problem. It’s just your feet.’
Jake bent down and removed the booties from Finn’s feet.Then he grabbed an ankle in each hand and moved Finn’s feet forward, step by step, as if he were moving the legs of an action figure.
Jake chanted as he made Finn’s footprints in the sand.
Finn sang along.
‘Don’t want to be scared,’ he whispered to himself. ‘I shall not be scared.’ But as soon as Finn’s feet felt the wetness of the ocean water, he panicked.
he screamed. ‘Jake! Get me out of the water! Now, Jake!
Now!
Finn was so crazed with fear that he didn’t even realise that he was stomping on Jake’s back and punching his best friend wildly. Jake could have drowned out there! But he just blew his head up supersized, like a big balloon, and carried Finn to shore.
‘Hot jam!’ Jake said, dropping Finn onto the sand. ‘You’re really scared of the ocean. In fact, you’re so scared, it gives me an idea.’
Finn was curious to know what that idea could be.
‘Let’s start a business of being scared of the ocean,’ Jake told him.
Finn protested.
Jake said. ‘I have a plan to get rid of your fear. We’ll start tomorrow morning.’
‘But I must conquer this now!’ Finn insisted.
Finn jumped up and ran forward, pointing at the waves and screaming,
Just then, a wall of waves rose up before him.The tiniest splash of seawater separated from the wave and propelled itself toward Finn’s face. Closer, closer it came, finally splashing on Finn’s freaked-out forehead.
‘I’m afraid of you! I’m afraid of you,’ Finn whimpered as he hastily backpeddled through the sand.
Finn flopped on the beach and dragged himself toward Jake. He looked utterly defeated. Jake’s advice sounded better now.
‘Okay, yeah,’ he panted. ‘Let’s try again tomorrow.’
The next morning at the treehouse, Jake was all set to put his plan into action. B
ut first he had to rouse his buddy from his peaceful slumber. Obviously there had been no oceans in Finn’s dreams last night.
‘Finn! Hey, Finn!’ Jake whisper-called. ‘Wake up.’
Finn, snuggled tight in his orange sleeping bag, blinked his sleepy eyes and smiled at his best friend.
‘Morning, Jake,’ he said cheerily.
‘Ready for me to help you get over your ocean fear?’ Jake asked.
‘Yeah, man,’ Finn said confidently.
‘Cool, but I can only do this if you ask me,’ Jake explained.
‘I’m asking,’ replied Finn.
‘Then get ready for my three-step plan!’
Jake advised him. ‘Watch your troubles melt away with step one.’
As soon as Jake finished his statement, the walls of the treehouse began to rattle and quake.They fell apart and splashed into a sea that appeared from out of nowhere. Finn found himself floating on a bed raft, with ocean water surrounding him as far as his eyes could see.
Finn yelled. ‘This is not an okay thing to do.’
‘Hey, hey, come on,’ Jake tried to soothe his buddy. ‘The ocean is your friend. And you got friends all around you right now. Miles and miles of friends.’
‘You’re nuts,’ Finn noted.
Finn thrashed around in his sleeping bag, trying to get away from Jake, who had obviously lost his mind.
‘Don’t try to struggle man,’ Jake said, revealing the ropes that he had used to bind Finn to the bed. ‘I’ll let you go in a second. You just need to calm down.’
‘Really?’ Finn panted. ‘Okay, I’m calming down now.’
‘That’s great,’ Jake assured him. ‘You’re doing great. Ready for step two?’
Finn was panting and his cheeks were flaming red. His eyes darted from left to right wildly. But he had to trust in his best friend’s ability to steer him through his fear.
‘Yeah, man,’ he huffed. ‘I can do it.’
‘All right, dude,’ said Jake. ‘Step two.’
Step two consisted of Jake releasing the rope that had been binding Finn to the bed. As soon as he unravelled the knots, Finn’s bed began to sink into the ocean. Pillows, mattress and blankets were washed away in seconds, until all that was left was Finn, floating in his sleeping bag, with Jake perched on his fear-filled stomach. This was not the confidence-building step Finn had expected.
Finn screamed. ‘This isn’t a joke.The ocean’s touching me.’
‘Let it hold you, man,’ Jake said firmly.
‘Let it hold ou like a child.’
Finn was now so filled with fear that his heartbeat could have been heard by a seagull flying overhead. That is, if there had been any seagulls flying overhead. But there weren’t. There was just Finn, Jake and the endless ocean.
‘I’m trying to let it hold me,’ Finn sputtered as he spat out salt water from his mouth.
‘Control your breathing,’ Jake calmly directed him.
Finn tried by inhaling and exhaling slowly and deeply.
‘This isn’t working,’ Finn said nervously.
‘That means we have to move to step three,’ Jake explained. ‘Just don’t scream.’
‘Wh…what?’ Finn stammered.
‘I’m going to push you underwater with my jowls,’ said Jake. ‘Just don’t scream. Don’t scream.’
Jake stretched his jowls and placed them on Finn’s chest, like two extra arms. Then he pushed down, until Finn’s head was completely underwater. From the bubbles that rose to the surface, it didn’t seem like Finn was taking Jake’s advice not to scream. He was also whipping his body around in the sleeping bag. If riding the Fire Newt had been like sitting on the back of a bucking pony, this was like riding an angry sea bull.
‘Hold your breath, Finn,’ Jake called encouragingly. ‘You got it, dude!’
Jake lost his battle with the sea bull. He flew through the air as Finn’s fear took over and tackled everything in its path. Somehow, Finn escaped from the confines of his sleeping bag and landed on Jake’s head.
‘Get me away, Jake!’ Finn screamed as he trampled Jake’s snout. ‘Now, Jake, now!
Jake cried.
Finn reached down and grabbed Jake’s ears.The flexible appendages stretched up and out, until they caught the ocean breeze and filled up like sails on a ship. Finn and Jake flew through the air until Finn spotted a small island ahead.
Finn cheered. ‘How’d I do?’
‘I think we should give up,’ said a battle-weary Jake.
‘What?’ Finn asked, surprised. ‘I made it all the way to level three.’
‘Look, Finn, it’s not that I don’t want to help you,’ Jake explained. ‘I just don’t want to get beat up anymore. I mean, this face is my bread and butter. I can’t have you messing up my bread and butter, dude.’
‘You have to help me,’ Finn begged. ‘I can’t do this without you.’
‘Okay, fine,’ Jake agreed. ‘But only if you swear not to hit me anymore.’
‘I swear I won’t hit you anymore,’ Finn promised.
‘And also swear to speak only in rhymes,’ Jake continued. ‘Speak in rhymes all of the times.’
‘I swear. And pigs have hair,’ Finn rhymed.
‘Yes, perfect,’ said Jake approvingly.
Jake puffed up until he was large enough to stand knee-deep in the ocean. He stood face-to-face with Finn, who stood on a cliff.
‘And since you want more, it’s time for step four,’ Jake told his friend.
‘What?’ Finn asked, confused. ‘I thought you said it was a three-step plan.’
‘I’m not that good at counting,’ Jake laughed. ‘Come on. Let’s go kick your fear of the ocean where the sun don’t shine: in the Sea Cucumber.’
The Sea Cucumber was the name of a submarine that Jake had conjured up. He was planning to take Finn to the deepest, darkest depths of the ocean.
Finn and Jake climbed aboard and began their descent. Captain Jake narrated the tour.
‘Check it out, dude. One hundred percent awesome-itude,’ Jake noted, pointing out the exquisite creatures on the sea floor.
‘Yeah, it’s pretty math, you psychopath,’ whimpered Finn, who was crouched in the observation globe and shaking with fear.
‘You know, it looks way more math if you ,’ Jake said.
Finn followed Jake’s instructions. He opened his eyes and was stunned by the awesomeness of the view he saw before him.
‘See, man. The ocean is beautiful,’ said Jake. ‘There’s no reason to be afraid of things that are beautiful.’
Finn pressed his face up against the glass.
‘Hey, this isn’t that bad,’ he said. ‘I’m actually glad.’
Jake saw something interesting up ahead, and he steered the Sea Cucumber toward it.
‘Hey, look, a black abyss,’ he called to Finn. ‘Let’s go check it out, sauerkraut.’
Finn’s fight-or-flight defences went into high alert.
he screamed.
Finn looked into the black abyss and saw his fear staring back at him. Fear Feaster had returned! His ghostly grin giggled at Finn as if this was all a ghoulish game.
Finn howled.
‘Saying “turn around” twice doesn’t count as a rhyme, dude,’ said Jake, who was oblivious to the presence of Fear Feaster.
Jake’s terrified best friend knocked him out of the way and took over the submarine controls. Finn took time out from steering the sub to try to knock some sense into Jake with his fists.
‘Hey, you swore!’ said Jake. ‘Ow! My bread and butter!’
Finn maniacally steered the Sea Cucumber out of the abyss. In his panic, he accidentally hit the sub’s missile-launch button. A volley of explosives jetted out from the ship. One missile hit the base of an underwater building, and it collapsed onto the submarine, leaving a gaping hole in the hull.
Water poured into the Sea Cucumber at a rapid pace. Finn would have been screaming, but he was hyperventilating instead.
‘D
on’t worry, dude,’ Jake reassured him. ‘Everything’s cool.This is the perfect segue into level five. Here, put this on.’
Jake handed Finn a diving suit. Petrified, Finn punched and kicked his way into the suit.
‘Just make sure you don’t pull the emergency tab,’ Jake warned.
Of course, that’s exactly what Finn did. Instantly, the suit began to inflate like a blimp.The force of the expansion shoved Jake into a wall and knocked him unconscious.
Seconds later, the submarine walls cracked and the ship split in half. Finn floated up and up toward the rippling top of the ocean. He looked down and saw his best friend sinking into the ocean.
Finn called helplessly.
On the surface, Finn clawed his way onto a floating buoy. He wasn’t alone.
‘Pathetic,’ Fear Feaster hissed. ‘You can’t even overcome your fear now that your friend is about to die.Your unheroic body will never let you save Jake.’
‘You’re right,’ Finn admitted.
‘Really? You think I’m right?’ Fear Feaster asked, surprised. ‘Well, that’s … that’s great.’
While Fear Feaster was talking, Finn reached down and grabbed a wrench that was tied to the buoy.
‘If my body won’t let me rescue my best friend, then there’s only one thing left to do,’ Finn said right before he bonked himself in the head with the wrench.
Fear Feaster called.
Fear Feaster screamed as an unconscious Finn dragged him down into the abyss.They sank deeper and deeper into the depths. Since Finn wasn’t awake to scream, Fear Feaster did all his screaming for him.
When Finn finally regained consciousness, he found himself staring at a crew of creepy crawly crustaceans. Luckily, they were crawling on his diving mask and not on his skin.
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