by Beth Flynn
1979
“You should know better than to ask for that, Kit,” Grizz said to her one afternoon as they sat in the living room of number four.
“You asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told you. You shouldn’t have asked if you didn’t want to know.”
“C’mon, honey. Don’t play these games with me. You know I’m not going to tell you my name. It’s not important anyway.”
“Okay, you don’t have to tell me your name. How about you tell me anything. Anything about you and your life before this motel. Anything, Grizz. I am your wife. Married couples share these kinds of things.”
“My life, up until I brought you here, was nothing.” Grizz sighed. “What do you want to hear? A list of criminal acts, jail time, what? Believe me when I tell you that my life started after I brought you here, Kitten. Trust me on this.”
“Come on, Grizz. We can keep it simple. How about what elementary school you went to? Did you have a pet growing up, and if so, what was its name? Did you have parents who loved you? Did you sit down to Sunday dinner? What was your favorite TV show growing up? What was the color of your first car?” She smiled at him. “Anything, Grizz. I know nothing about you. And it hardly seems fair since you know everything about me.”
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. It was his own fault. He’d asked her what she wanted for her birthday and she was telling him.
“Can’t I just tell you that my life sucked and I don’t want to talk about it?” And before she could answer him, he said, “Green.”
“Green what?” she asked, eyes wide. She sat up eagerly on the edge of the couch. “Is that your real last name?”
“No. My first car was green, and before you ask, I stole it.”
She stood up and folded her arms across her chest. “Ooooh, you have the most irritating personality. Has anybody ever told you that?”
He raised an eyebrow at her. He was amused by her question, but didn’t want to piss her off any more than she already was. His face softened.
“Kitten, please just tell me something else that you might want for your birthday. Please?”
He was getting desperate. It didn’t help that he felt enormous guilt over her assault and rape last summer. He was still looking for the person who did it. He actually fantasized about how much he would enjoy torturing the person who’d dared to lay a hand on his wife. But before she could get another word out, he added, “And no, I will not go to church with you, so don’t even ask.”
She stared at him. Her face was turning red. She was really mad at him. She looked adorable, he thought. He almost smiled, but caught himself.
The phone rang, interrupting their conversation.
“You answer it,” she said and started for the door. “I need some air.”
Grizz spotted her car keys in their usual spot before heading for the phone. At least he didn’t have to worry about her driving off mad.
When his phone conversation ended, he went looking for her. After checking in a few of the vacant motel rooms, he walked around the office side of the motel. He saw her rear end sticking out of the passenger side of her car.
He stopped himself and looked at her ass. It was a beautiful ass. An ass that he never got tired of looking at. He started to get hard as he looked around. I wonder if I can convince her to pull down her jeans? He asked himself. Then he dismissed the thought. No. He much preferred having her in his bed.
He got angry when he thought about her rape. There was someone out there who’d not only seen her, but had been inside of her. Yes, he thought to himself. He would find out who’d attacked her and enjoy killing him.
Slowly.
“What are you doing, Kit?” he asked as he approached her.
“My necklace,” she said from inside the car. “The one Grunt gave me for Christmas. I just remembered I lost it or something.”
She perched sideways on the passenger seat now, one leg beneath her and the other on the ground. She threw up her hands in exasperation.
“You think you lost it in the car?”
“Yeah, I think so. The clasp on it broke and I had dropped it off at the jewelers to get repaired a few weeks ago. When I went to pick it up, I’d just had my nails done and realized when I got in the car that I couldn’t unfasten it and refasten it with my new manicure. So I draped it over the rearview mirror. I just now remembered it.” She frowned. “But it’s not here. I can’t figure out why. I’m certain I hung it up and left it there.”
“The cross? The religious necklace?”
“Yes, my cross,” she answered him absentmindedly, fishing now between the console and the seat.
“You want me to get you a new one?”
“No, I want to find the one that I know is here somewhere.” She blew out a frustrated breath, and the bangs on her forehead fluffed up and then settled back in place.
“Maybe someone stole it.”
“No. I lock my car when I go out. I only leave it unlocked here.”
They both knew nobody would dare take something out of Kit’s car at the motel.
“Come on back inside. I’ll have one of Axel’s guys detail the car for you. If it’s in there, they’ll find it.”
She got out of the car and slammed the door shut.
Less than ten minutes later, they were in bed.
“You sure I’m not hurting you, Kitten?” Grizz asked. He was on top of her and inside her, slowly moving his hips while kissing her neck.
“No, you’re not hurting me, Grizz. Not at all.” She moaned now, arching her back in pleasure. “Just keep doing what you’re doing, okay?”
He smiled into her neck. He cupped her breast with his right hand, teased her nipple. Slowly, slowly he started to remove himself from inside of her, his mouth moving to her throat. She resisted his withdrawal, and moaned again as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, trying to keep him inside of her. Gently, he suckled her already hard nipple.
Then he felt her stiffen. Dammit. She was remembering the rape. The bites.
“It’s okay, Kit. It’s me, honey.” He felt her relax then.
Their eyes met and she could see his anger. She grabbed his face, pulled it close.
“I know you’re still mad at Moe because she had the dogs that night,” she whispered.
He hadn’t expected this. She was right.
“Damn right I’m still mad at Moe.” He started to say more, but she interrupted him.
“Like I said, I know you’re still mad at Moe, but I know you blame yourself, too.”
He looked away from her then, but she pulled his face back to meet her eyes. “Your anger at Moe is because you think you somehow failed me. You’re afraid I’ll see you differently because of that. Just like you felt when I witnessed what Chico’s guy did to that couple in the pit. You were worried I couldn’t go back from that. That I wouldn’t love you anymore.”
He didn’t know how to answer her. Again, she was right.
“I hate what you do. I know you know that. And I keep telling myself that one day you’ll stop. That my being with you will somehow be a positive influence. I honestly don’t know if that’s true or if you’re capable of stopping.”
He looked away from her again, and this time she jerked his face back hard.
“I love you with an intensity that scares me. It’s why I stay. It’s why I overlook so much. You need to know that I don’t blame you for what happened to me. I am and always will be in love with you.”
He let out a sigh of relief. “I love you too, Kitten. I love you so much it scares me, too.”
She smiled and playfully nipped at his bottom lip. He growled as he kissed her with a passion that pulled the air from his lungs.
A little while later, Grizz sat up, lazily tugging at her hand. “Come take a shower with me.”
She looked over at him. “I should start dinner,” she replied. Before he could say anything, she added, “Your nose looks better. Does it still hurt?”
Grizz had had
his nose broken a week earlier when he’d tried to break up a fight.
“It’s been broken so many times, I’ve lost count. No, doesn’t hurt. Take a shower with me and I’ll take you out to dinner.”
“Really out to dinner, or a business visit with a dinner in between?”
“Really out to dinner. Your choice.”
She smiled. She knew exactly where she wanted to go for dinner. Vincent’s was a small restaurant that had been tucked away in a dying strip mall down by the docks. Grizz used to take her there when he was concerned about her being recognized back when he’d first brought her to the motel. Today, she was in the mood for garlic crabs and Vincent’s had the best. She was supposed to go with Grunt last week, but he had been called out of town on business. She thought he might have been sent to Vancouver for a few weeks. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been able to get the garlic crabs out of her head. She was craving them.
“I’ll beat you to the shower,” she said, tossing off the covers and racing for the bathroom.
Five minutes later, Grizz panted as he plunged deeper into her, one hand against the slippery shower stall for support.
“I just can’t get enough of you, Kitten,” Grizz said.
The shower had started out innocently enough—you wash my back and I’ll wash yours. But before they knew it, they were once again making love. He was holding her up now and had her pressed against the shower wall. She had her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. They had just made love in the bedroom less than fifteen minutes ago. She moaned as his thrusts became more urgent. He felt her release and immediately followed.
Slowly, tenderly, he let her down, and she looked up at him. He took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply and fully.
She kissed him back. “This last minute shower session may have cost us beating the dinner crowd.”
“I don’t care, Kitten. Don’t stop kissing me.”
An hour later, they’d made it into their clothes and were at the restaurant. They had just ordered their meals and the waitress had collected the menus.
“I’ll be right back with your drinks,” she told them.
Grizz smiled at Kit. “Have you given it any more thought?”
She tilted her head. “About what?”
“Your birthday.”
“Oh. I thought for a minute you were talking about where I might have lost my necklace. Hmm. Let me think.” She gazed around the restaurant and looked quickly back at Grizz. She gave him a big smile as something came to her.
“Yes! There is something I want for my birthday. Something I really want! I’ve been thinking about our prom date last year.”
“You want another romantic night at Martin’s beach house?” He grinned, relieved. A night making love with Kit at the beach house. Ohhhhh yeahhhh.
“No. Not the beach house.” She was bouncing in her seat now. “I want you to take me out! Dancing. I want to go to a club and go dancing.”
His smile faded and he looked a little deflated. He wasn’t going to tell her his name. He wasn’t going to go to church with her. How could he tell her no to the third thing she’d asked for?
“Shit, baby. You have to know I’m not a dancer. I barely got by with the slow dancing in Martin’s gazebo.”
“I want to go dancing, Grizz. Please! The only time I ever get to dance is when I convince Axel to dance with me in number four. And you know that’s barely ever. He won’t do it if there are a lot of people at the motel. He doesn’t want to risk being seen.”
Grizz had to smile at this. He’d walked in more than once on Axel and Kit dancing to one of those groups that Kit loved. If you asked him, those guys’ voices sounded like someone had their balls in a vice. A high-pitched squeal is all he ever heard and he never stayed around long enough to listen to an entire song.
“Why do you dance to a song about a bald-headed woman?” He’d asked her once.
Axel and Kit had stopped and peered at him strangely. “What do you mean by bald headed woman?” Kit had asked as Grizz turned the stereo down.
“These guys, who sound like women, are singing about a bald-headed woman,” Grizz replied.
She’d started laughing. “The Bee Gees are saying ‘more than a woman,’ Grizz. Not bald-headed woman! The song is called More Than a Woman and I happen to love it.”
“Whatever it’s called, it still sucks. I’m outta here.”
Grizz appreciated that Axel danced with his wife. And yes, he knew Axel’s other secret, too. He honestly didn’t care. He didn’t care what any guy decided to do with his dick as long as it was never near his wife. But he also knew he had to keep Axel’s secret. As leader, he had final say as to who could be in the gang. Still, he knew not everyone would be tolerant of Axel’s lifestyle. It was just easier to let it stay a secret. And besides, he was certain nobody suspected a thing.
“I don’t dance, Kit.” Grizz said now, shaking his head.
“But I want to go dancing for my birthday.” She folded her arms and gave him an accusing look. “You asked!”
He shook his head slightly and looked at her. “Can’t I just buy you another car?”
Chapter Thirty-One
2000
Ginny and Tommy managed to compose themselves for Jason’s sake. Tommy took the jacket from his son and returned it to the bottom of the box.
“Start packing it back up, Jason.”
“But Dad—”
“Do it now, son.” He looked at his wife. She was pale.
He knew what she was thinking. She wanted to leave, and she wanted to leave right now. He walked her to where she had left her small suitcase. He held her hand as he carried it out to the car.
“I love you, Ginny. It’s because I love you that I know you need some time. I won’t fight you on this. I’ll handle the kids.”
He set her suitcase in the back seat and turned to her.
She willingly leaned into his arms. Being in his embrace, in those arms that had grown into achingly familiar ones, brought her up short. Now that she knew he was Grizz’s son, would it be a constant reminder of Grizz? These were the same arms that held her for almost fifteen years. Why was it that, after learning the truth, it all seemed somehow tainted?
She inhaled his scent. At least that was uniquely Tommy’s.
Then she remembered the reason she was leaving and hastily removed herself from his loving grip. He tried to reach for her again, but she shrugged him off, got in the car, and started it. She rolled down the window.
“Would you mind giving Carter a call and telling her I’m on my way over?”
Without waiting for his reply, she put the car in reverse and headed for Shady Ranches.
On the drive over to Carter and Bill’s, Ginny’s mind drifted. With the population growth over the last several years, traffic had become a nightmare. It would take at least forty-five minutes to get to Carter’s house. The house she had once shared with Grizz. She knew Carter would be there and that Bill was out of town.
Carter had been with Sarah Jo outside the execution viewing room just a couple of days ago. She’d told Ginny how badly Casey had wanted to be there too, but she’d been delayed at an airport somewhere in the Middle East. Casey, one of their other college friends, was now a journalist and worked for the foreign press. She was always traveling. She’d tried her hardest to be there for Ginny when Grizz died, but she couldn’t get a flight out in time. Ginny wondered if she’d ever even made it to Fort Lauderdale.
She thought back to how she had married Tommy in a quick ceremony, but couldn’t bring herself to have him move into the house in Shady Ranches. The very house she was driving to now. She’d been pregnant and emotional. It was hard enough marrying another man—even Tommy, who she’d known almost as long as she’d known Grizz. She remembered how shocked she’d been when Grizz sat her down that day, told her he’d always known Grunt had feelings for her—and that Grizz wanted her to marry him.
She sat at the red light and gulped. How much of th
at was true? She didn’t know what to believe anymore.
Yes, she had a lot to discuss with Tommy. But not yet. She needed some breathing space. She needed to think.
The light turned green and she drove on, the past wrapped around her like a blanket. Carter had been the perfect choice to live in their former home in the rural subdivision. She was one of those people who took in every stray animal that needed a home. The house, on a few acres, was just right for Carter and her adopted “children.” Her friend hadn’t been married when she’d first moved into Shady Ranches, at first to keep Ginny company, and later on her own. She met Bill a few years later at a fundraiser for an animal rescue organization. It had been love at first sight and the pair were married almost immediately. Bill had a career in computer programming and traveled frequently for his job. He made an excellent living, and it enabled them to support Carter’s animal rescue activities, but computer programming wasn’t his passion. Rather, Bill loved anything and everything that had to do with surveillance—what he called his “spy stuff.” He’d even set up a system at Tommy’s office to help them catch someone who’d been stealing from the corporate bank accounts. Bill was an electronic wizard.
With Bill gone more than not, it wasn’t unusual at all for Ginny to spend time at the house, helping Carter with the animals. Ginny laughed to herself when she remembered how Carter had provided a temporary foster home to a nasty camel named Phil. Phil turned out to be quite the challenge, and she was certain even Carter had breathed a sigh of relief when Phil was finally placed in an animal sanctuary.
Grizz had specifically asked her not to sell the home, so having Carter and Bill there, taking care of it and making good use of the property, worked out for everyone.
Even behind bars and now, beyond the grave, Grizz seemed to have his hands in everything.
She pulled into Shady Ranches and up the long, familiar driveway. Waiting for her, she saw Carter and Casey, both standing on the porch. So Casey had finally gotten a flight. She was glad. And Tommy had called ahead. Ginny had known he would. He was the most dependable human being in the world.