Today was the first time in a really long time that I didn't really feel scared or worried. I just walked around and looked inside all the stores. One of my favorites was the toy store. I found a bunch of neat things in there, especially in the boys toys. Even though I think boys are kind of yucky, I like their toys.
There was also a sports store. I dont usually go in that kind of store, but then I saw a slingshot on the shelf. It looks really strong, like its made of metal, and it has a big red rubber band thing for the sling. I think i'll keep it with me, just in case I need to hit something from far away. There's lots of rocks on the ground outside so I'll always have something to use.
It might be good to distract zombies. They go wherever they hear sounds, so instead of throwing something I can just use the slingshot. I'm not very good at throwing things far away, but maybe this will help me. I need to make sure I practice to get really good at it.
There’s a bunch of bikes in there too. I found one that looks like it will work good for carrying all my stuff. Even though I like the bike I had, I don’t know how to fix it. It’s better that I just get a new one.
The mall has a candy shop too, but when I went inside there was a bunch of ants and other gross bugs in there. It was sooo disgusting! I remember learning a long time ago that ants like sugar, so I just closed the door and left. Even after seeing all the zombies, bugs are still gross to me. Isn't that weird?
I went back to that clothes store I was in earlier. I found a dark blue long sleeve shirt with a green heart in the middle. It's warm and fits great. I also got this pink dress. Its kind of like a shirt and a dress at the same time, but it's comfy. I got some better shoes too, ones that look a little like boots. I hope they last me a while. Oh, got some new jeans too!
I can't talk long, Barbie. I got chased by zombies! They're everywhere in here! Where were they hiding? I looked in a whole bunch of stores and they were empty so I don't know where they came from!
I tried to run back outside but I went out the wrong door. I went to the parking lot and there were zombies there too. There's so many of them!
Okay, I think Im safe now. I ran to the upstairs part of the mall where the jewelry store is and I closed the doors to the front. I can still hear them though. I dont know how far ahead I got, but I'm really scared that theyre going to find me, but I was running a lot faster than they were. They don't really run anyway.
I dont know what i'm going to do. If they see me at the front door, they'll stay there. They dont go away if they cant get you, they just keep trying. There's another exit door in here, but I didn't know it was locked. So I'm just staying back here behind the counter where they can't see me.
I hear them even more now. I haven't seen this many zombies in a long time, not since back home. I wish I was at home.
Its not safe talking to you right now, but this is the only thing helping me not be so scared. I just hope they
Chapter 19
Dec 10, 1993
I'm so glad to talk to you again, Barbie. I thought I was going to die yesterday. A lot happened so thats why I havent talked to you yet.
The front of the jewelry store got broken by the zombies. I tried to go out the back door but it was locked. I think I forgot because I got so scared. A bunch of them got inside and I just kept trying to open the door anyway. I was banging on the handle and pushing on it and kicking it, but it wasn't opening. They kept on getting closer.
Then I feel the door open and something grabs me and I get pulled in. I just started screaming and pushing things away from me. I fall down and I heard the door close and lock again. I get up and look and there's a man there at the door. He didn't look like a zombie, he looked like a person!
He talked to me, too! He asked if I was okay, but I haven't talked to anyone in so long, I kind of forgot how to talk for a second. I just nodded. Then I asked if he was a zombie, and he said no.
I got up and looked behind me, and there was a big hallway. I think its the back of the stores, there was a bunch of other doors. He told me they were all locked and that we were safe in there for now. Right now I'm actually in a security room and it has a couple of cameras on. I didn’t see any other lights on in the mall, so it was kind of weird.
He asked me my name, but I kind of didn't want to tell him. Dad used to be really scared of me talking to strangers. When I didn't answer, he said it was okay, I didn't have to tell him. He thinks I’ve been through a lot, and he’s right, I have.
He said his name was Dr. Crane. I asked him what kind of doctor he was, and he said he used to be a siykiatrist a long time ago. (I don't know how to spell it since I've never heard of that kind of doctor.) When I asked him what that means, he said he was a doctor for crazy people.
He says he thought that the zombies just were crazy people at first, but he tried to give them medicine and it didn't work. I dont know how he gave them medicine without getting bit, but maybe he trapped one or something. I don't know, I didn't ask.
I told him they were zombies, monsters that came back from the dead. He just kind of nodded. Its weird, I know that if I wanted to tell my mom or dad something like that, they wouldn't believe me, but I think Dr. Crane believes me. Maybe, I dont know.
Dr. Crane seemed nice, so I finally told him my name. He asked where I came from, and he looked surprised that I told him Austin. You know, Barbie? I'm proud of myself. I know I'm not at Grandpas yet, and I have a long way to go, but I made it really far already. I can't wait to tell Grandpa and my family that I did it all by myself.
Im really happy that Dr. Crane found me. I would have gotten eaten if he didn't save me. I'm also glad that i'm not the only real person left. It kind of gives me hope that I'll see my family again. He really likes talking, and he said it was because that was his job to talk to people.
I guess I don't mind talking to him so much. He's kind of old, so maybe he got lonely. He says he was all alone for a long time too, and he's been eating food from the mall food court. I think that maybe he missed talking to people, because he talks to me a lot.
I don't always have stuff to talk about, but he still likes to ask me lots of questions, like what I did before the zombies. I just went to school so I didn't have a whole lot to say. It's still kind of weird for me to talk to someone else, and he said he understands me. I guess its not so weird after all.
Anyway, I'm going to take a nap right here. The security room has a comfy chair that i'm going to try and sleep in. See you tomorrow.
Chapter 20
I don't know what day it is, but it's been a really long time, that's all I know. I stopped counting the days. It feels weird being outside again after being in that dark room for so long. I didn’t think I’d ever get out.
My bike is gone, and so are most of my bags. I just have the one on my back with a little food, my map and my flashlight. I'm carrying you around with it. I got Mr. Floppy, too, but I almost lost him earlier.
I'm really cold, and my shoes are gone. They got lost a while back. I'm not in Junction anymore. I ran away from there. I just kept on running down the freeway. I ran because I didnt have time to get my new bike. It would have been faster, but I couldn't get to it.
That doctor wasn’t a good person, he was really scary. He locked me up in a really small room and didn’t ever let me out. I didn’t sleep very much, and I almost never ate anything. I hurt thinking about it… He kind of hurt me… A lot, and…
Wait, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You were there, you already know.
Today I was in that room, and I heard a lot of noises from far away. He went outside really fast because he heard it too, and he left the door open. He never did that before. I looked outside the door and I didn’t see him, so I picked up my bag and got out of the room.
But then… there were zombies. A LOT of them. I started running the other way, but my eyes started burning, it was too bright. Everywhere I went there was zombies. I heard him yelling a little bit, but I didn’t turn around, I just k
ept trying to find a way out.
I got downstairs and I saw him running from a whole bunch of zombies. He saw me, then started running at me. I don’t know what I was more scared of, him or the zombies.
Then I saw a door going to the outside, and the sun was out. There was still some zombies around but I was getting away from them. I kept hearing him behind me. I got to the door and… I just closed it behind me. I looked back and he fell down, then the zombies started biting him.
And I actually felt kind of happy.
Then I saw more zombies coming, so I started running again.
I don’t know how far I am from the city, but it feels like its REALLY far. If I turn around, I can’t see it anymore. I found this house down a road near the freeway. It kind of looks like a little farm. There's some food here, but not a lot. Nobody's here either, so I'm probably safe for now.
I really need shoes. My feet hurt a lot. They have some cuts on the bottom and it looks like I have a couple bruises. I fell a lot when I was running. I hurt all over, but I think it's going away a little.
I havent been scared of the dark in a long time, but I am now. I'm really glad I still have the flashlight, it's not too dark right now, but the sun is going down. I want to sleep but I don't think I can. I'm too scared to sleep.
I'm tired, cold, hungry, scared, but I just feel like I want to keep running farther. I don't want to think about these things, but it keeps coming back into my head and I get scared all over again. It's just scary to think that he...
Actually, nevermind. I need to lie down and try to rest. This house has a bed, but its kind of stinky. I guess I dont have a choice if I want to sleep, and I dont want to sleep on the floor. The door locks and I can push the desk in front of the door so no one can come in.
I dont want to see anyone anyway, even if there was someone here. I just want to lie down with Mr. Floppy and actually have some good dreams.
I'm starting to think this was a bad idea. Maybe I should have stayed at home, tried to find more food, waited for my family...
Forget it. They aren't coming back. They probably aren't even alive. If they were, they would have come to find me a long time ago. I don't even know if I care anymore. I bet you anything they were eaten.
Kind of makes me wish I was eaten, too. Then I could be with them instead of here.
You know Barbie, you remember how Dad talked about God's plans for us? Do you think he wanted zombies to happen? You think he wanted bad people to be alive? He wants them around for some reason. I dont know, I'm tired and hurt, so maybe I'm not thinking right, but I don't know if he cares at all about me anymore.
Have I been a bad kid all my life? Is this why all this bad stuff is happening to me? Is God punishing me for something? If he is, why doesnt he just send me to the devil, instead of having these monsters everywhere, and letting me find bad people?
You know what, I dont want to think about it anymore. I really need to try and sleep. I'm going to look around for shoes tomorrow when the sun comes up. Maybe there's a map around here too.
Don't worry about me Barbie. I have you and Mr. Floppy with me. I don't need anyone else.
Good night.
Chapter 21
I just woke up, Barbie, and I'm scared. I can't sleep. I had that nightmare again. Oh wait, I don't think I told you about it yet, because I didn't talk to you for a while.
So I'm in this really long hallway, and I try to run down it, but it keeps getting longer. There's a door up ahead and it has a light behind it. When I run, the light gets brighter, but the room gets darker. The door still moves farther away from me.
I start hearing the zombies on the other side of the wall. There's all this banging and grumbling, and some of the walls are cracking. I keep on running trying to get away. I finally get to the door, but when I open it, there's this really big man with a paper bag over his head, and there's blood all over him, and he's holding a huge knife.
He picked me up by my hair. My head hurts thinking about it. So he picks me up and throws me all the way down the hallway. I hit the wall, I'm okay but then he runs at me super fast! But I can't get up! It's like all my bones are gone and my body stopped working.
I'm crawling a little, but he keeps getting closer. I turn around and he starts laughing at me, calling me all kinds of bad names. He throws the big knife at me....
...then I woke up.
I hate that dream. I always feel like I'm trapped. I've had it a lot the last... however long it's been, but it always feels like it's a new bad dream. Then I remember that I've had it before, then I start thinking too much.
I don't think I got much sleep, Barbie. I don't really feel safe here, but I guess it's better than it was before. It isn't even about the zombies. I mean I'm always scared of the zombies, but this is different.
I didn’t see how alone I was before, but all this time I really was. It's been just me out here, no one else. You and Mr. Floppy anyway, but he's sleeping right now. I don't remember you ever sleeping - you're always here waiting to talk to me, no matter what time it is.
I guess I feel empty. Like I'm nothing. Why am I even trying to get to Grandpa's? He's probably not even there. It's not like my family's alive, probably not. I'm starting to think that my sisters are dead. They're way too little.
Mom and Dad? I still don't know. Maybe my dad, because he was really strong. I don’t know about mom. She was smart, but I don't think she was strong like Dad. I think you have to have both if you want to stay alive.
I don't feel that strong anymore. I used to, but after all this, I just... I don't know. I'm tired, scared, kind of angry. Now that I think about it, I'm more angry than scared now.
There's nothing but zombies left. If there is anyone else out there, they're probably not good people either. I think God took all the good people away. If there is a God. I'm not so sure anymore. Wait, will I go to hell for thinking that way?
Maybe I AM in hell.
I'll be right back, I hear something outside--
Chapter 22
Barbie, if I don't talk to you again after this, it'll be because they got me.
When we were talking earlier, I heard some noise outside the window where I was sleeping....
I don't know how many zombies there were outside, but I couldn't see far at all. They were everywhere! There was probably hundreds of them! I could see a lot of them because the moon was really bright, so I'm not exagirating!
They were all around the house. I looked out the window, I was trying to hide, but one of them saw me and broke the window! So I got all my stuff and tried to get out of the house, but they were on the other side where the front door was!
I found this trap door thing next to the kitchen, so I opened it and went inside, and that's where I am now, some kind of basement. I found a few cans of soup down here, but now I'm starting to think it doesn't matter if I keep them or not.
I hear them breaking windows and doors upstairs. They're stomping around and making all those gross, scary sounds they make. It's all I hear. I think I'm starting to smell it too. It's worse than dead animals.... it's like....
Hold on, I think I see another door.
There IS another door down here, but I'm still stuck. The door isn't opening, it's probably locked, or maybe it's rusty.
I really am trapped in here.
That door I came in through wasn't very strong. It's wood, but it isn't very good wood. Parts of it are splitting and one of them has a hole in it. It probably won't stay there for very long.
Once the zombies get that door open....... then that's it.
I can't get out from here. I can hope that they just go away, but I don't think that will happen. Every time a zombie saw me, it kept coming for me until I lost it. I can't lose them from here. I'm stuck.
I've tried everything I can to get that other door open, and nothing's working! There aren't any windows down here, and if I go out the door I came in, I'm dead. They're all inside the house now, I can hear them. T
hey can find me at any second.
I think this is it, Barbie. I'm really scared. I haven't been this scared since I was stuck in that car a long time ago. I don't know why I'm still being quiet, I don't think it matters anymore. If they break that door, they'll know I'm here, and then....
Well, no matter what, I love you Barbie. Maybe someone will find you and be your friend like you've been mine. I don't think I'd have been alive this long if I didn't have you with
Chapter 23
We’re safe Barbie. I don’t believe it. I really thought we were going to die back there, but I got us out!
I have us hiding up in a tree, I think I lost them. I’ve been running for so long, and my feet really hurt. They’re cut up even worse now. I never did find new shoes, so that isn’t helping.
The zombies started to break into the basement. I just… I don’t know, freaked out and started banging on the other door that wasn’t opening. I kept hitting and kicking ramming into it, but it wasn’t opening for the longest time. I heard this big SNAP!! and opened all the way, I think I broke one of the doors completely off.
I don’t know how I did that. I’m not that strong, but maybe the door wasn’t as strong as I thought it was. So anyway I climbed out turned around to see if the zombies were chasing me. There were soooooooo many more than I thought!
They were all over the place, and I saw them breaking stuff all outside of the house, and a bunch were falling out of the windows… it looked like the house was going to explode with zombies! Not just that, but there were still a ton that were all around the house, like they were all trying to fit inside.
I almost think they’d break the house to pieces just trying to get in.
I didn’t stay long because it looked like a couple saw me, so I just started running. I didn’t even run to the freeway, because there were more over there, so I went into the fields. I just kept on running. I think I stopped a couple times to catch my breath, and I was lucky to have a little water, but I just kept going and going.
Kellie's Diary (Books 1-3): Decay of Innocence Page 4