Molly smiled shyly. “You’re welcome. Will you help me pick the stuff to go on top?”
Kaylan chuckled at Molly’s already melting chocolate yogurt. “Sure thing, ladybug. Let me just get mine real quick.”
“Hurry, Aunt Kaylan. Before everything melts.”
Kaylan bit back her laugh at Molly’s drama as she grabbed a cup and filled it with plain yogurt, perfect for the toppings she had in mind.
“Aunt Kaylan, you move too slow.” Molly grabbed Kaylan’s free hand and tugged her in front of the guys, drawing a few laughs and complaints. A hand settled on her waist, and she leaned back against the man behind her. She’d know his touch anywhere, and she knew Nick would have her back tonight. And every step of the way.
“Now what should I get?” Molly wondered, her eyes bright and fixed on the sugar at eye level to her four-year-old height.
“What do you like?”
“Sprinkles and chocolate.”
“You got it.” Kaylan spooned the toppings onto Molly’s yogurt as the little girl held the cup high.
“Kaylan, if you put her in a sugar coma, you get to take her home tonight,” Logan warned from a few people back.
“Oh, can we have a sleepover?” Molly did a little jig, and a few sprinkles tumbled to the floor.
“Not today, munchkin.” She surveyed her selections, but she didn’t have to think too hard before she began shoveling ingredients into her cup.
“Sprinkles, Sour Patch Kids, and Skittles? You aren’t normally a candy girl, babe.”
She met Nick’s eyes, drawing strength from the depth she found there. “It’s not for me.” She caught Micah’s knowing smile as they turned to pay.
If this night was a celebration, then she was going to do her best to remember everything about Sarah Beth that once made her smile. The sweet memories didn’t have to fade.
While Nick paid for their treats, Kaylan slipped a spoonful into her mouth, her tongue protesting at the instant tang of yogurt and sour candy. She smiled. She loved it. She slipped into a blue plastic chair, the din of her friends’ conversation overpowering the steady hum of the yogurt machines lining the wall.
Oh, how life had changed in just a year. She missed a lot of things, had experienced the worst pain of her life, but oddly enough, she wouldn’t change any of it, except losing Sarah Beth. She took another bite. But this. This night made her realize goodness didn’t live in the past. It existed now, ready to be seized in the present.
Molly squirmed into Kaylan’s lap. Her cup began to tip, and Nick threw out his hand to steady her.
“I got it, Uncle Nick.”
“Molly, baby, Aunt Kaylan probably doesn’t want you in her lap.”
“It’s okay, Kim.” She smiled at her friend, who was feeding three-month-old Nadia a bottle. “I promise.”
Truth be told, Molly was therapeutic, a taste of sunshine and sweetness. Bubbly and joyful, she was a little Sarah Beth in the making. Despite her dad’s frequent deployments and the recent loss of his leg, Molly’s spirit remained unbridled. Kaylan intended to enjoy that for as long as Molly was part of her life.
“Aunt Kaylan, why did you get so much candy?”
“Because my friend Sarah Beth fixed her yogurt like this.”
“Do you still miss her?”
“Molly Carpenter,” Logan’s voice boomed, and everyone at the table stilled.
Kaylan swallowed and summoned a smile, a smile she felt in her heart a bit more every time she used it. “It’s okay, Logan.”
Kaylan felt the weight of their eyes, the calculated gazes of the SEALs, familiar with life lost. Compassion danced across the faces of Megan, Kim, Melody, and Liza, mixed with a regret that she now had to respond. But on the faces of her brothers and Nick, she saw reassurance and an encouragement to accept, to share, to let people in, to reclaim a little of the girl she used to be.
She turned to Molly. “Yes, I still miss her. She was my best friend ever, and I met her when I was about your age.” She squeezed Molly, eliciting a musical giggle. “She had curly blonde hair, just like you. She smiled and laughed all the time.”
“Just like me?” Molly pointed at her chest with her dripping spoon.
“Yep, munchkin, just like you.” Kaylan’s heart constricted. Nick slipped his arm around her shoulders, his fingers drifting up and down her arm.
“Daddy says she’s in heaven. Is that right, Aunt Kaylan?”
Kaylan cleared her throat, ignoring the eyes focused on her. “Yes, last year about this time she went to heaven to be with Jesus. I’ll see her again someday. And today I wanted to celebrate her.”
“Since she went to heaven, that means I’ll get to meet her someday, too.”
Kaylan leaned down and touched her nose to Molly’s, grinning at her giggle. “You bet, munchkin.”
Molly leaned forward and looked in Kaylan’s cup, the yogurt gathering in a growing liquid pool and bleeding with color. “She sure liked a lot of candy. Look at all those colors, Aunt Kaylan! They’re everywhere.”
Kaylan grinned. “Don’t they make you happy?”
Molly’s blue eyes met hers. “I like lots of colors. Like a rainbow. They just make me smile.”
Kaylan looked at her brothers, knowing they remembered Sarah Beth’s candy fetish.
“Happy mouth,” Micah grinned, a knowing look in his eyes. She knew he was remembering similar moments with the girl they had once known and loved.
Her heart constricted, joy and overwhelming nostalgia jockeying for prominence. But the tears were gone. At least for now. Nick wound his fingers in her hair, giving her enough strength to remember to choose joy. “And a very happy Kaylan,” she whispered with a smile.
Chapter Four
Janus had made a deal with the devil, and she would have to pay. If there was one lesson she’d learned over the years it was that no good deed went unpunished. No bad deed did either, but somehow she’d managed to outrun the consequences. Until now. She should have known that someday they would come back to bite her.
A knock broke her reverie and she looked up. A man she only knew by Jake entered the interrogation room where she’d been escorted moments before. His dark hair fell above dark eyes that held a thousand secrets. She could only hope his expertise and government didn’t wind up getting her killed. So far the plan had worked. Play regretful mother and sell some intel to the Americans, all for a lighter sentence, and, at the very least, a temporary reprieve from whatever demon stalked her in prison.
Unlike others she had already talked to, Jake never wore a suit when coming to see her. Today, he wore a white V-neck shirt beneath a brown leather jacket and jeans rolled up slightly over plain-toe, leather boots. His gaze and demeanor told her he would play fair, but he meant business.
He slouched against the wall, crossing his arms as he faced her where she sat perched on the edge of the seat. “Well, Anya, we have a plan.”
She flinched as he said her name. No one had called her by her given name in years, but his tenor voice reminded her too much of her brother Andrei. Only he had called her “Annie.”
“We will fly out of here and meet with a joint task force to pass on what you know. You so much as try to get off that base, and I will sanction anyone who sees you to use you as target practice. Are we clear?”
Anya refrained from smirking. His threats held little terror for her. She’d survived the Iron Curtain, the assassination of her beloved brother, the loss of her own children. And now the silent killer, cancer, threatened to take away what little time she had left. What more could they do to her?
The guilt snaked its way through her heart again and she bit down, squelching the pain. Andrei had always fought for the underdogs, those who just wanted a better life in the West. He rejected the confines of the Wall. He’d fought the Soviets and smuggled many to freedom. Then he’d come for her. He always came for her.
She was a rising star, poised to take a position in the East German secret police, despite her
Soviet background.
So she’d watched his work from afar, even covering for him at times. It amazed her that someone could believe in something so fully that they would give their life for it, for strangers. She wouldn’t do that for her country. To hades with the USSR, the German Democratic Republic, and their ideals. She believed in one thing: survival. But her brother had made her hope, made her wonder. Until someone betrayed him, and she was forced to watch as he was executed, shot pointblank for rebelling against his rulers. Their father stood without blinking, firmly trusting Andrei had been a traitor.
“Anya, are you with me?”
She schooled her features against the sudden urge to cry. With a curt nod, she muttered, “Da.”
“Good. And English, please.” Jake came to sit at the table with her, his confident stance reminiscent of Nikolai. And Andrei. She knew their kind. The call to sacrifice won out over the instinct to survive, and their heroics could cost her. She would need to be careful.
“Nick and his team will be present at the briefing. You will not engage with him in any way. You are there only to relay intel. At the point you are no longer of use, we will ship you right back to the hell hole you are living in. Understood?”
Anya smirked and leaned forward, intertwining her hands on the table in front of her. “It would be wise for you to hold your tongue, American.” She tipped her head, studying his guarded expression. “You do not know the secrets I possess.”
Across the table, Jake mirrored her actions, his face coming within a foot of hers. His amused smile rankled her. “I work for the United States Central Intelligence Agency, Ms. Petrov. You do not know the secrets that I possess.” His voice lowered to a whisper that chilled the air around Anya. “You are expendable.”
Desperate to maintain the upper hand, she masked a wince as she leaned back in her chair. “We shall see.” But inside, she feared she would never taste freedom from captivity again.
Once more, she might be forced to sell her soul. She didn’t have much left to give. Wounded animals did not do well when cornered. If she went out, she planned to take people with her.
Chapter Five
Nick and Micah received the call at five in the morning on Monday. With hurried goodbyes to a groggy David and Seth, they slipped from their house and headed to the War Room on base in Coronado.
“Kaylan is going to kill me if I miss helping with the last-minute details for this wedding.” Nick groaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as Micah drove his Mustang. Street lights cast an orange glow on the pavement as they covered the short distance.
“I told you that y’all should have taken care of every bit of it before Christmas.”
“I just thought we were done with all of the short, unplanned deployments until we deploy with the Team next year. But when duty calls, we go.”
Micah spun into the parking lot and crawled from the car. The two nodded at others entering the building. “Not a decision to make right now, Hawk. You’ve had a lot happen in the last few months. Let’s just focus on the task at hand and make big decisions after the wedding.”
“You better pray we make it back before the wedding.”
“You have about nine weeks until March 12, man. Plenty of time. Now snap out of it.”
“You really are a bulldog in the morning,” Nick grumbled.
“Get me some coffee, and we’ll call it good.”
Rounding a corner, they entered into controlled chaos. Quiet chatter filled the room. A pump pot full of steaming black coffee with Styrofoam cups off to the side beckoned Nick and Micah. Several men with bags under their eyes eagerly filled the tiny cups. Nick always thought of the cups as a tease. They gave him just enough for a taste and an increased craving for more black fluid.
At the front of the room, their boss took the floor. “All right, ladies. Grab a cup of coffee and let’s get to it,” Senior Chief X shouted in his gravelly voice. His red hair stuck out at odd angles, indicating he too was a victim of an early morning wakeup call.
Titus passed Nick and Micah small Styrofoam cups filled with rich, black brew. One sip sent his brain spinning into gear. They had a full team gathered. He searched the crew and moved to join Colt and Jay, already seated on fold-out chairs in the front row. An ache filled him at Logan’s absence, but he shoved it away. Logan wasn’t feeling sorry for himself, so Nick wouldn’t either.
“Morning, sunshines. Time to get to work. Tonight, we leave for Afghanistan for a capture-kill operation. We will join with others from SEAL Team 2 that are already deployed in the area as well as their Afghani counterparts. We will be fully briefed upon arrival. We leave tonight at twenty-three hundred hours. Let’s take care of business, ladies. You know what to do.”
“Radio prep at eleven hundred hours. Anyone having comms issues, come see me,” newcomer Bates shouted over the noise.
“Organize and load weapons in two hours. Hawk, you’re with me on that.” Colt slapped him on the back as they hustled to pack up the gear.
The room broke into a flurry of activity, guys preparing for an op without specifics. But right now, they didn’t need any. They were ready, come what may.
“Looks like we’re going to need more coffee,” Titus said, staring into his already empty cup.
Jay slapped him on the back as he stood. “You’re always on top of it, my man. Good lookin’ out.”
Titus rolled his eyes. “You ever gonna grow up and be responsible?”
Colt dropped his arm around Jay’s neck. “If he grew up, he wouldn’t be the J-Man we all know and love.” Jay elbowed Colt in the gut. Colt jumped back and blocked his ribs. “Easy there, brah. I was paying you a compliment.”
“Logan’s not here to wrangle the children. So I guess that job falls to me.” Micah grinned, the coffee clearly doing its job.
“Man, please.” Jay threw his head back in a laugh and jerked free of Colt. “We all know T-Brown or Hawk will have to fill those shoes now.”
“Now look here, Jay . . .”
“Ladies . . .”
Nick stood and stretched, his eyes drifting to the coffee station. “Looks like X is running this ship. Let’s get busy.”
As Nick and Micah moved to get more coffee, Micah said, “Did you hear Logan may be able to get fitted with a prosthetic soon?”
Nick froze, his hand hovering over the pump pot. “Seriously? That’s awesome! I wonder what he could do in the Teams.”
Micah shrugged, dark circles evident on his tan skin. “You know him. God, family, and country. He’d jump back in in a heartbeat, and Kim would stand by his side the whole way.” Micah shook his head. “Now, that’s love.”
Nick filled his cup again, inhaling the steaming brew as he nodded. Since his engagement, his fear had sky-rocketed for Kaylan, for himself, for their relationship. He no longer could look out for just himself and his team. He had to consider her, too. But he knew she wouldn’t ask him to do anything else with his life. Still, his heart pounded a little harder as he prepared to leave. How could he reassure her during his absence?
*
After prepping his gear and helping take inventory with Colt, Nick slipped away to meet Megan at four o’clock. He had only an hour and a half to take care of what he needed to before Kaylan got off work. He would stop by and see her and then head back to base to prepare for departure. Once again, he didn’t know how long he would be gone, but he hoped it would be brief. The wedding approached, and Kaylan would want him nearby for all the last-minute details and preparations.
Megan stepped from her car, ripped jeans, thin black shirt, and wet hair telling Nick she had rushed her from her job at the aquatic center. While all outward appearances indicated that Megan preferred marine animals to people, Nick surmised that she really craved a deep friendship and didn’t quite know how to get there. Since being taken hostage months before, she’d stopped her serial dating and one-night stands and started asking more about God. She’d softened a bit, and Nick could see Kaylan’s influence
in that.
Nick smiled. Kaylan couldn’t help but nurture others. Her patience and sweet spirit made her a lighthouse that consistently called him to love others the way she did—with compassion and a firm hand. Man, he loved that girl.
“You rang, soldier boy?” Megan stopped in front of him and he caught the faint scent of the sea. “Don’t you have other people you could call?”
He crossed his arms and leaned back against his Jeep. “Question. Do you always smell like fish?”
She rolled her eyes and turned around. “I’m outta here.”
Pushing off the car, he sidestepped and cut her off. “Kidding, Meg.” He chuckled and held up his hands in surrender. “Will you help me, please? It’s for Kaylan.”
Her eyes softened just a bit, but she huffed. “Yeah, okay, fine. What are we doing at an apartment complex in Imperial Beach?”
Nick turned her toward the front office and began to walk. “Like I said on the phone, I have to leave town for a little while. I don’t want Kaylan to feel alone when deciding things that have to do with our life together, so I decided to go ahead and rent an apartment for the two of us for after the wedding. I need you to keep it our secret until she needs to know.”
“And how will I know when she needs to know?”
Nick grimaced, figuring Kaylan would hit a point where she got frustrated with the ill-timed deployment and grow overwhelmed. “Trust me. You’ll know.”
They entered the front office and Nick signed the paperwork, paid the deposit, and grabbed the keys offered to him. He motioned to Megan. “This way. We’re on the first floor.”
Nick walked them to a unit in the second building. The blue-gray exterior appeared muted against the apartment’s attempts to create an oasis. Brightly colored flowers and palm trees adorned the grounds, and a pool sat in the middle of the complex. Nick thought it a poor substitute for the beach only miles away.
Shoving the key in the lock, he turned the doorknob and stepped inside the home he would share with Kaylan. Megan stepped in by his side. She paced the small living and kitchen area and then headed back to the two bedrooms, one decidedly larger than the other. “What do you think? I know it’s not much.” But he could picture it becoming a cozy home. It was close to Titus and Liza. Close to Micah, Colt, and Jay. Close enough to the Carpenters, and countless other families in the SEAL community.
Surrendered (Heart of a Warrior Series Book 3) Page 4