Kaylan didn’t move. How did she tell her roommate she was angry? With God, with Nick, but mostly with herself. Even after having a relationship with the Lord for years, she still didn’t know how to let go of her fear.
“Just processing and dealing with a lot, Megan.”
They ate in silence, but Kaylan could tell Megan struggled to sit still. As they paid the bill and rose to leave, Megan grabbed her arm with a viselike grip. “Kaylan, take it from me. Those things you told me about God, they helped me be free. Freer than I’ve ever felt. Whatever it is and whatever it takes, just loosen your grip. Let God handle it.” She let go, but her dark eyes studied Kaylan. “I have a surprise. I’ve been waiting for the perfect time, and this is definitely it.” She took a step toward her car. “Follow me.”
“Meg, I’m not in the mood for a surprise,” she groaned.
Her roommate only opened her door and fixed Kaylan with a stubborn stare. “Trust me. You’ll be in the mood for this.” Without another word, she slipped in her seat and started the engine.
Kaylan crawled into her car, wishing she could crawl under a rock. Fear bound her, and now failure crippled her. She wanted to pull the covers over her head and start the day over. But running away wouldn’t solve anything.
*
Kaylan stepped from the car into the parking lot of an unfamiliar complex. The short drive helped to calm her, but she still just wanted to go home.
“Meg, where are we? Who are we visiting?”
Fingers slipped over her eyes, and Kaylan jerked. “Not funny.” She tried to pull her roommate’s hands away, but Megan only dug into her cheeks.
“Stop fighting and walk.”
Kaylan sighed and took a step, knowing this was a battle she would lose. “You better not let me fall.”
“It would serve you right for being a brat. Why did I agree to do this?” she mumbled.
“Agree to do what?”
Only silence greeted her. After what felt like an eternity of awkward maneuvers and a few scary moments, they stopped.
“If I move my hands, will you keep your eyes closed?”
“Well, that depends. Will you tell me where we are?”
“So nosy. I’m starting to understand your issue with your fist.”
Kaylan stiffened. “Low blow, Meg. Fine. I’ll keep my eyes closed.” She crossed her arms and stood still as Megan moved her hands. She heard what sounded like a key in a lock before the squeal of hinges.
“You can open your eyes.”
Kaylan opened first one, then the other and stood looking past Megan into an empty room. A short hallway branched off and ended with three doors.
“Don’t just stand there.”
She stepped inside, her flats sinking into carpet. “Care to explain?”
Megan dropped the key in her hand. “Welcome to your new home. Soldier Boy took care of all the details before he left. He didn’t want you to worry about it.”
Kaylan gasped and turned slowly, envisioning decorations, a place to build memories. She pictured a life. A home. She pictured Nick. Kaylan’s eyes swam. “This is the sweetest thing he has ever done for me,” she croaked.
Megan tugged a packet of tissues from her back pocket and tossed them to Kaylan with a smirk. “I thought his proposal was swoon worthy, but your man knows how to take care of you.”
Kaylan laughed through the tears. “Yes, he does. Even when he’s not here.” She pulled Megan in for a hug. “Thanks for bringing me today.”
Megan pulled back enough to look at Kaylan. “Kayles, you need to remember distance doesn’t determine love. Duty doesn’t define it either. That man is loyal to you. He would do anything for you.” She smiled and pulled away. “And so would I.”
“Thanks, Meg.”
Her roommate waved her off. “All right, all right, enough of the mushy stuff. How do you want to decorate?”
Kaylan’s grin turned devious. “I’m so glad you asked, because I’m going to keep you busy until he comes home.”
“I was afraid of that.” She chuckled. “Well, talk me through it and we’ll go from there.”
Kaylan let her mind roam with the possibilities, but inside she prayed Nick would call, and soon. In the meantime, she would create a safe haven for him to come home to.
Chapter Sixteen
Nick hadn’t experienced a drive that excruciatingly long since his trip to find Kaylan in Haiti. The heat and dust and bumpy road made it near impossible to try and patch up Bates.
“I’m a little worried the bullet might’ve nicked his brachial artery and then embedded in his side close to his heart. He’s losing a lot of blood,” Kite Kelly muttered as he worked on Bates. The corpsman’s steady hands moved quickly to lessen the blood flow. The bandana wrapped around his graying buzzed head did little to stop the sweat from dripping off his face in the sizzling metal cab. Despite Kite’s calm exterior, Nick sensed his worry.
“So stupid. So stupid,” Bates kept grumbling. “Fix me up and get me operational.” His sheet-white face countered his command.
“Chill, Bates. We gotta get you to a doctor.” Nick pinned his good shoulder back, forcing him to be still. Adrenaline, a SEAL used to action and unaccustomed to failure, and major blood loss made for a bad situation. After thirty minutes, Bates passed out. Nick had a sick feeling that the bullet had somehow pierced his heart.
Base doctors had Bates before Nick could crawl out of the convoy. Within seconds, he was out of sight.
“He didn’t look good, brah.” Colt shook his head.
“He saved me and I left him open.”
“Shake it off, Hawk. He did exactly what you, or I, or anyone else on this team would have done. Watch each other’s backs. He’ll be okay.” But the worried look Micah tossed in the direction of the infirmary only added weight to Nick’s own assessment.
T-Brown nodded after X. “Let’s go see what all this is about.”
“Hustle up, hustle up,” X shouted in his gravelly voice as they entered the room that felt more and more like a confinement area. His red hair stuck out at odd angles after its release from his helmet, making him look like a cartoon character who just stuck his finger in a live electric socket.
“The Taliban cell in question planned to meet in two days, but our informant overheard their contingency plan. The meeting goes down tonight in the home of one of the leaders, which means we will need to account for women and children. No friendlies dead on our watch. I mean it. Heads in the game, ladies.”
He continued with op specifics. The meeting was farther away, so they would take choppers to the appropriate landing zone and contain the house, following up with an assault. The team scattered to reload ammo and prepare for the evening ahead. The cover of darkness would add an extra layer of protection and familiarity. Nick, like every SEAL, preferred operating in the dark.
The town they were traveling to had been known as a Taliban hot spot over the years. During the war, the Taliban had scattered, their familiar meeting places abandoned, but this group appeared to be just gutsy enough to revisit and reclaim their stomping grounds. If the team didn’t handle things right, the night could turn into an all-out gun fight. Nick wouldn’t allow that to happen.
At some point during the tactical planning, Janus and Jake slipped from the room. Her task accomplished, she didn’t need to stick around. The tightness in Nick’s chest released with her exit. Despite his calm demeanor since accepting her role and presence, she still made him uneasy. That woman didn’t do anything for free, and he didn’t feel like becoming a bargaining chip in her game.
If Nick had his way, they would go directly for the head of the snake, Janus’s boss and Russian oil businessman, Sasha Baryshev. The man had the ear of many an influential man in the Russian government and many a shady individual in the black market where he specialized in weapons and ammunition. Until a few months ago, they hadn’t known what name to put on one of the biggest weapons terrorists in the world. Now they just had to catch
him. If they could execute tonight’s objective, they may be able to smoke him out of hiding. As long as they kept a tight grip on Janus, they may just be able to put an end to his business. Nick just hoped Jake kept a close watch on her. She hadn’t remained hidden for years without skill and the drive to do whatever was necessary.
“We’ll reconvene at nineteen hundred for a final walk-through and briefing. We’ll leave at twenty. Get some rest. Call your families. And let’s take care of business.”
“I’m going to catch a few Z’s. You coming?” Micah slapped him on the back as guys began filing out of the room.
Nick grabbed his rifle. “I think I’m going for a workout. Blow off some steam. Prep for tonight.”
Micah’s gaze was as pointed as his rifle. “It’s not your fault, man. Please, go call Kaylan. Everyone is getting really tired of the tortured thing.”
“I am not acting tortured. I just need to keep my head in the game, and dealing with how I left things with Kaylan is a distraction right now.”
“Dude.” Colt slapped him on the back on his way out the door. “Call her. Or she’ll have a whole new reason to be mad at you.”
“Yeah, Hawk, call her, or I will strap you to a chair and make you call her.”
“Don’t make me shoot you, Bulldog.” Nick brushed past him and his told-you-so smirk. Still, Micah’s threat hung in the air between them. As much as his buddy loved to joke, Nick knew he meant it.
The bustle of the base in the desert reminded Nick of his first deployment to the Middle East only a couple of years before. Right before he and Kaylan got back together. “Hurry up, do your job, and then wait” was true then, and remained true now. Nick arrived in the makeshift gym and settled in with weights. With the holidays, wedding plans, and dealing with Kaylan and Janus, his mind split off in a thousand directions and his skills felt rusty. Usually the eyes of the team, he felt like he’d let everyone down today.
He lifted the bar, his shoulders screaming and brain racing as he imagined the head of the man who shot Bates. He dropped and lifted again, the burn intensifying. His muscles responded; if only his brain would cooperate. Again he lifted and imagined Janus’s head, her smug smile and blue eyes that spoke of death. Again and again he lifted, his mind sharpening, eyes zeroing in. With each rep, he imagined firing his weapon, his mind’s eye focusing in on his target. He wouldn’t let his team down tonight. He would focus.
He lifted again, but this time Kaylan’s sweet smile flashed in front of his eyes. He fought to maintain control of the bar as his muscles shook. He swore. She couldn’t be a distraction. He wouldn’t let her be. It was the only way he would make it home to her intact. He fought for control and shoved the bar up again, straight above his head.
But it was the lingering memory of their fight that penetrated his heart. He closed his eyes. Heat suffocated him. He needed a shower, a bed, time to prep for the night ahead. He needed to call Kaylan. He needed to get this right. A week without hearing her voice, her musical laugh, was long enough. He could be such a prideful jerk, but the silence, the time without even a small piece of her wasn’t worth it. He needed to fix things. She would still need to decide if she could deal. He had full confidence she could, but she needed to realize that. But until then, he would be strong for both of them. He couldn’t wait any longer to make things right. To lead her as much as he loved her.
He glanced at his watch. Three-thirty Monday afternoon in Afghanistan, which meant Kaylan might wake up if he sent her an email and maybe they could talk before she went to work. Without taking time to second guess, he rushed off to email her. He could shower, eat, and maybe even nap before their Skype date. Hopefully she checked her email.
His stomach turned. On second thought, maybe he would wait to eat. The thought of how he’d left her made him sick. He hoped she wasn’t upset, that he hadn’t hurt her too bad. He wanted things back to normal. In the week since they had seen one another, one thing had become abundantly clear: he was a better person with her in his life. He could swallow his pride to make sure things got back to the way they should be. Of this Nick was confident: they were better together.
Chapter Seventeen
Kaylan was first-date kind of nervous and excited. Nick wanted to Skype with her. She had crawled out of bed at five on Monday planning to run before work. But when she discovered his email, she stayed home and spent an hour picking just the right top and fixing her hair and makeup. Then she waited.
“Your nails are going to disappear if you keep chewing them like that.” Kaylan jumped at Megan’s voice behind her. “You scare way too easily,” she chuckled.
Kaylan grabbed a pillow off her bed and let it fly in Megan’s direction. “I’m nervous. It’s been a week! And what are you doing up?”
“It’s my turn to feed Napoleon this morning,” she said, referring to their newest humpback whale. “So are you going to spend the next hour making kissy faces and telling each other how much you love one another?”
Kaylan’s face heated. “Maybe.”
Sandy slipped from behind Megan’s legs and padded into the room, heading straight for Kaylan.
“Well, hey there, where have you been?” She glanced up knowingly at Megan.
Meg tossed her hands in the air. “He wouldn’t leave my room last night. Who am I to say no?”
Kaylan laughed as Sandy settled on her feet with a huff. “You’re such a sucker.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
The musical tone signifying an incoming call sang out in the room. “Finally,” Kaylan squealed, waving off her roommate’s protests.
“I’ll see you after work. Have fun.” Megan closed the door behind her as Kaylan answered the call. In the moments it took for the video to turn on, Kaylan’s nerves kicked into high gear. What if he was still mad? What if he didn’t want to marry her anymore? What if . . .
“Hey there, gorgeous.” Nick’s blue eyes and smile, the one he reserved just for her, filled the screen, and she relaxed.
“Hi back. I’ve missed you.”
“Me too, baby.” She sensed a hint of regret in his tone. “You look good. You didn’t have to get dressed up just for me, though. I know this was a little unexpected.”
“What are you talking about? I woke up like this.”
Nick chuckled. “You mean you will wake up looking like a model every morning of our married lives? Man, did I luck out. Great genes, babe.”
Kaylan’s smile slipped a bit. “So you still want to marry me?”
“Oh, babe.” Nick squirmed in his chair, the empty room behind him wiggling as the camera moved. “Please forgive me for how I handled that. I do need you to decide now if you can handle this, or our marriage is going to be tough. But I should never have left angry.”
Kaylan still felt unsettled. She couldn’t quite figure out her tight grip, her need to make sure nothing happened to him, but she knew it wasn’t right. “Please forgive me, too. You had a right to be angry. I never should have put pressure on you like that. Logan and Kim helped me understand better, and Megan, too, ironically.” She rolled her eyes.
“Sounds like a story there.”
Kaylan shrugged. “She just reminded me that love doesn’t expect of the other what they can’t give. It accepts them for who they are and pushes them to be better. Love lets them go and waits for them to come home.”
He whistled. “Megan said all that? It is surprisingly devoid of sarcasm.”
“No.” She laughed. “She brought me to our apartment when I needed it most and reminded me that you loved me. The rest of that realization spun from there.” She went on to catch him up on wedding plans and Molly’s latest obsession with trying to feed Nadia “big girl” food. She thought about mentioning her coffee date with Natalie, but decided to save it for later. One thing at a time.
“Sounds like things are going okay there.”
“They are.” As Kaylan recited the normal events of the past few week, she realized to her surprise that life
continued and she was doing fine without him, even though she missed him terribly. Maybe she could do this SEAL life after all. “I found the ‘present’ you hid in my closet. The only person I’ve wanted to use it on is Megan when she ate the last chocolate chip cookie.” Among the notes she had found scattered around the house and at different wedding specific locations since his departure was a note directing her to a black box he’d hidden at the back of her closet—the box housing the pistol he kept for his own personal use.
His face went blank and his posture stiffened. She knew his combat-ready mode, even on camera. “Remember the lessons I gave you? Don’t hesitate if someone comes in your home again. You shoot first and ask questions later.”
“Nick, what if I can’t shoot? It’s a person, not a deer.”
“Babe, if I suspected a normal burglar, pointing that thing at them might scare them off, but the people we are dealing with won’t scare that easily. They respect action over words. Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself.”
She nodded, knowing if it came down to the person or Megan, she wouldn’t hesitate. “Did I mention we got a dog?”
His blue eyes doubled in size. “Seriously?”
“He was hurt and all alone at the beach.”
“So naturally you adopted him.” Nick smirked but Kaylan sensed a glint of admiration in his eyes.
She shrugged. “I couldn’t help it.”
A knock sounded on the door behind Nick. “Wrap it up, Hawk.”
“Got it,” he shouted. “Gorgeous, I’ve got to go. I love you.”
Kaylan fought back tears, knowing he had probably called because it was time to walk into danger. “I love you, too. Please be safe and come home to me.”
“I hear we have a pretty big shindig coming up. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Thanks for all my notes.” The one on her dress had been only the beginning. He’d left one at the caterer, the tuxedo shop, and the florist. Each note affirmed the decisions she had made and shared what he liked most about them, as well. And in each one she felt more loved that he’d taken the time to plan ahead for what he must have known would be a challenging separation.
Surrendered (Heart of a Warrior Series Book 3) Page 11