A sky blue Volkswagen bug slid into the spot next to him. The woman inside flipped down the mirror, her motions frantic as she ran her fingers through choppy, layered blonde hair that stopped just above her shoulders. She snatched her bag from the passenger seat and flew from the car as Nick opened the door to his Jeep and stepped onto the pavement.
He recognized her, and it somehow felt good that she was as nervous as he was. She stuffed her keys in her purse and took a stumbling step to the diner door.
“Natalie?” Nick’s voice sounded scratchy to his own ears. His palms began to sweat and his heart pounded as she slid to a halt and turned slowly to meet him. Nick offered a wave that felt as awkward as it probably looked. He shoved his hands in his jean pockets.
“I’m Nick.”
“Oh, hi.” She straightened and fumbled with her hair before sliding her hands to her hips. “Well, this isn’t exactly how I imagined this moment.”
“Were you expecting moving music and an instant connection?”
She chuckled, but he suspected nerves leaked through her now confident veneer. “Yeah, a full choral arrangement. But I gotta say”—she motioned to the diner—“burgers, fries, and milkshakes are much more my speed.”
He nodded to the door. “Must be genetic.” She offered a small smile as she fell into step with him. He held open the red door as they slipped into the joint. The overpowering scent of meat and grease greeted him. His stomach growled as they slipped onto bar stools and accepted laminated menus.
Nick didn’t quite know how to fill the silence that stretched between them as the latest teen pop song filtered through the speakers overhead. A few rough-looking guys sipped coffee in a booth a little ways down and a mother coerced two young children to finish their food at a round table in the other direction. Nick couldn’t focus on the menu.
She slapped her menu on the bar counter. “Okay, confession. I’m not hungry. At all.”
He chuckled. “Why don’t we both just try a burger and go from there?”
“Probably a good idea,” she acquiesced as the waitress approached and Nick ordered for them. “With cheese. And ketchup. And the fixings on the side,” she called as the woman walked off, waving behind her as she went.
“Not hungry at all, huh?”
“Apparently I eat when I’m nervous. So . . . what are we supposed to talk about?”
Nick didn’t know how to start the conversation or how to carry it to completion. “So you’re an Air Force brat.” He took a sip of the water the waitress placed in front of him.
“We can start there.” She grinned and rotated to face him.
“And now you are actually in the Air Force?”
“Technically I’m a civilian. I work in public relations. I make the boys looks good. And you’re a, uh, a . . .”
“Not so good at the trash talk, huh?”
She laughed. “Nope.”
“Works out for me. I’m a SEAL.”
She shook her head. “We didn’t grow up together yet somehow we both ended up working jobs that serve our country.”
“I think it’s in our blood.”
She turned curious blue eyes to his, eyes a shade lighter than his and clearer—the color of the sky on a beautiful day. It somehow seemed appropriate that they had met off the beaten path on land away from his ocean and her sky, finding new footing on solid ground. “How much did Kaylan give you in that file?”
She shrugged. “Not much. Enough to tell me about you and me and how we were split.”
He tensed, hoping it hadn’t included the note about his mother. Their mother. “Well, looks like I need to fill you in then.”
The waitress placed burgers in front of them as he launched into a story about their dad, all he had learned about his time on the Air Force Base in Germany, how he died. Nick had done some digging and identified the family they came from in Kansas and had even tracked down an old military buddy of their dad’s for a phone call.
“From what I heard he loved the adventure of living overseas, despite the conditions. He had an engaging personality, the base jokester, always pulling pranks and making people laugh.”
Natalie flagged the waitress down and ordered cheesy fries and milkshakes for both of them. Nick smothered a grin. “And our mom? Do you know anything about her?”
Nick shifted on the stool. He’d debated the whole drive down on how much to reveal and decided to play it by ear. “She’s still a bit of a mystery.” He didn’t meet her eyes as he polished off his burger. The meat tasted like sawdust in his mouth.
“Our dad’s buddy said he met a beautiful girl, a local. Blonde hair and blue eyes.” He smiled as Natalie absent-mindedly reached for a strand of her hair. She had a gentle spirit and the beauty that he suspected Janus would have had in another life, if circumstances hadn’t hardened every inch of her being.
“Apparently he was smitten. He spent all his free time with her. Then one day, she disappeared, and our dad was shot, and our dad’s buddy never saw her again.”
“But somehow we wound up in America?”
“We were kids of an American military man. I guess when we were dropped off on base, they cut through enough of the red tape to send us home. I don’t know all the details. I don’t even know if that was legal at the time, but someone made sure we didn’t grow up under the shadow of the Berlin Wall.”
“Thank God for that.” She rubbed her hands together as the milkshakes and a plate of fries arrived.
He chuckled, noting her smaller frame. “You must be like Kaylan. She can eat and never seems to gain much weight.”
“She would probably disagree with you on that. I bet she pays more attention to what she eats than you think she does. Speaking of Kaylan, how’d you two meet?”
“I went to college with her brother. Then we ended up in the SEAL Teams together. I met her and her family during that time. When I visited her family for the first time in Alabama, I fell hard.” He smiled, remembering how she radiated energy and joy. Her laughter still echoed in the recesses of his mind.
“And it was love at first sight.” She smirked. “Typical.”
“Nah. I don’t believe in that kind of stuff. She doesn’t either. But she was pretty amazing. I did know then that I would never get tired of that smile or her laugh or the way she loves stronger than anyone I’ve ever known.”
Natalie nodded. “I guess struggles do that to a person. You know that chapter in Psalms where the Lord talks about refining us like silver and leading us through hard things until he brings us to a place of abundance? Sounds like he has done that for you two.” She smiled. “Kaylan told me that you are a Christian.”
“Good to know you are, too.” He took a swig of milkshake, the strawberry flavor coating his mouth and reminding him of summer. “Natalie, I’m sorry if finding out about this disrupted your life. I’ll understand if you don’t want any part of it.”
She played with her milkshake straw, not quite meeting his eyes. Nick sensed her internal battle. He hadn’t known what to expect meeting his sister, his blood. Scientists had a lot to say about nature verses nurture, and the two of them had grown up in very different homes with different life experiences, yet he couldn’t help but note their similarities. She radiated strength and surety about herself in a way that drew him. She didn’t need him, but she’d chosen to meet him. That had to say something.
“I only wondered about my birth family once. When I was seven, we took family pictures with my grandparents and all my cousins. Everyone is dark headed, dark eyes, olive-toned skin. I burn like a tomato in the summer. My hair is really blonde. And blue eyes were just the icing on the cake. I think it was the first time that I noticed I didn’t look like the rest of my family, and it was the first time I wondered if there was another family out there that I did resemble.” She finally looked up and met Nick’s gaze, her eyes studying every feature. Nick knew what she searched for. Resemblance, connection, some clue she could identify with. “I guess I finally
found it.”
“But you were happy growing up?”
“My family is amazing. With my dad in the Air Force we moved around a lot until we finally settled in California. My sister is two years older but a beauty and a brain. She got married three years ago and has a beautiful one-year-old that I spoil to death.”
Nick chuckled thinking of how he felt about the Carpenter kids.
“I never wanted or wished for anything else, Nick.”
A small piece of him sank at her admission. He had a family with the Richards, the most beautiful girl with Kaylan, but a small piece of him had always wondered about his biological family. “Hey, Natalie, I understand.” He pushed his empty milkshake glass away from him. “I’m glad you grew up happy and whole. I wouldn’t want anything different for you.” He reached for his wallet as the waitress brought the bill and then scurried away again.
Natalie’s fierce grip stilled his hand. “I said I never wanted or wished for it, but I can’t ignore it now. My family wanted me to meet you, too.” Her eyes searched his. “Could we maybe just take it slow? I want to know you. I can’t pretend that I don’t have a … a brother out there now. Wow, that’s weird to say.”
He smiled and covered her hand with his. “Take your time. I’ve had a few months to process this, and clearly my fiancée had to act on it before I did.”
“She’s a keeper.” Natalie slipped her hand from his as he dropped cash on their ticket. “By the way . . .” For the first time, Nick saw a determination filter across her face. “I know there is something you aren’t telling me about our birth mom. Call me crazy, but I can tell.”
He laced his fingers and took a deep breath. “Kaylan said you had an insatiable need to know the truth.”
“Open communication was a big deal in my house. When it wasn’t present, I noticed its absence even more clearly. I recognize when someone is telling pieces of the story but not the whole truth. I want to know, Nick. I don’t understand the secrecy. You don’t have to protect me.”
Nick glanced around the diner, noticing new patrons had gathered since they sat down an hour before. “Let’s take a drive.”
Nick’s mind raced as they crawled into his Jeep. Clouds now streaked the previously clear blue sky. They hit the highway, passing sandy, brush-covered hills. “Natalie, there’s things about my job, things I can’t say, can’t even tell Kaylan. I go. I do what I need to do. I come home. I get ready to go again.”
“I know how military life works, Nick. I was raised in it. But what does your job have to do with our mother?”
Nick glanced at Natalie as they drove, the desert landscape a far cry from the ocean he was so used to. “I get that you want the whole story. I get that you are interested in the truth, but knowing the truth could hurt you, could hurt a lot of people.”
“Does this have to do with that Russian guy that showed up at Kaylan’s when I was there?”
Nick exited the highway and made a loop, pointing his car back to the diner. The drive had been a dumb idea. He couldn’t escape her questions. He couldn’t give her the answers she wanted. She didn’t even know what she was asking.
“It has a little to do with that.”
“Well, then he already involved me. So spill, brother.” She emphasized the last word. Nick smirked.
“That stuff doesn’t work on me, sister dearest.”
She shrugged, a smile he was coming to admire lighting her face. “It was worth a shot.”
“Give it enough time, and we are going to be pretty good at this sibling thing.”
Her eyes met his for a brief moment. “I’ve never had a brother to pick on before. This should be fun. Are you going to be one of those protective, overbearing, know-it-all kind of brothers?”
He thought of Janus, of Vlad, of the job ahead of him to take down Sasha and grimaced. “You better believe it.”
“At least I know what to expect.”
He pulled into the parking lot and threw the gearshift into park. He turned to face her. “Our parents met during a rough time in Europe.” He chewed on his words, trying to figure out how much he could tell her without violating national security or her safety. “Suffice it to say, our birth mother had a hard life and it affected her decisions. She gave us up for good reasons, Natalie. We were better off being raised by the parents we had.” Nick knew that was a gross understatement the minute it came from his mouth. If she only knew, she would turn tail and run back to her family and never speak to him again. “She wasn’t in the file for you to read about for a reason, Natalie. And right now you don’t need to know any more about her. It isn’t worth it.”
But Nick needed to know more. He needed to know what Janus knew. He needed to understand her motivations. He needed to protect his growing family. He needed to protect his team, his country. And for that, he might have to give her a piece of him, surrender his sanity for the sake of the greater good. As he took in the woman before him, he knew he would do it to keep Natalie safe.
Natalie nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll trust you. For now. I don’t need to look for her anyway. But about this Russian fella. Do I need to know anything?”
“If you see him, call me or Kaylan, or call the number on this card.” He handed her a copy of the card he’d given Kaylan. “Avoid that man at all costs. I’m not sure what his agenda is, but it isn’t anything good.”
“Okay, on that note . . .” She unbuckled her seat belt, her hand hovering over the door handle. “Thanks for meeting me. You aren’t so bad. In fact, you turned out all right.”
Nick chuckled. “Gee, thanks. You aren’t so bad yourself, for an Air Force brat, anyway.”
“Watch it, bud. Don’t those guys fly in and save your butt when you are in a tough spot?”
“It’s the least they can do when we went in to save their butts in the first place.”
“It’s so good to see your humility bleed through. I almost thought you weren’t a SEAL there for a second.”
He crossed his arms and leaned against the seat. “So this is what it’s like to have a sister.” It felt good to laugh together.
Natalie smiled and opened the door. “I better go. I guess I’ll see you soon?”
“Absolutely. Hey, Natalie?” He reached for her arm before she climbed from the car. “Kaylan and I, well, we would really like you to come to our wedding. Only if you want to, though.”
She nodded slowly, a shy smile creeping over her face as she set foot on the pavement. “I would really like that. Send me the invitation. Kaylan has my address now.”
The piece of Nick that had always wondered what blood family looked like soldered to his heart in that moment as he waved goodbye to the sister he’d never known but always wanted. She was better than he’d imagined. And he had a kind-hearted, stubborn, auburn-haired beauty who wouldn’t take no for an answer to thank for their meeting.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kaylan opened the door to a grinning Nick gripping calla lilies and a rectangular jewelry box. She smiled and slouched against the doorframe. “The meeting with Natalie went that well, huh?”
“Only you can pull off cute and cocky.”
She took the flowers from him and held them up to her face. “In that case, I’ll have to make a habit out of it.”
“Don’t you dare.” He kissed her cheek and slipped past her into the house.
“What’s in the box?”
“A puppy. One of those would fit, right?” He smirked as he held up the jewelry box. He set it on the counter as she arranged the lilies in a vase. “Just open it. It’s not much. Just a little something.”
She leaned across the counter from him and slipped the box open. She tugged a silver chain from it. An anchor dangled in midair.
“It’s beautiful. But what’s it for?”
He leaned across the cabinet, slipping the chain from her fingers and fastening it around her neck. “I figure all good things have happened to us in the water. It seems to be an anchor for us. But I wanted y
ou to have something to remember me while I’m away.”
She played with the anchor now hanging from her neck. “Babe, you don’t have to give me things to remember you by. I think about you all the time.” She slipped her fingers through his.
“I was reading in Hebrews this morning before I went to meet Natalie, and I ran across Hebrews 6:19. I don’t think it has ever hit home for me quite like it did this time.”
“Is that the verse that says hope is the anchor of our soul?”
He nodded. His fingers traced patterns on her hand, doing crazy things to her nerves. She loved that butterflies still took flight every time he touched her.
“I don’t think I had ever paid attention to the second part of the verse before. The veil used to separate the Holy of Holies in the Jewish temple. Before Jesus, only the priest could enter and atone for the sins of the people. But when Jesus died, the veil was torn, and nothing separates us anymore. I guess when I wonder if I will come home to you or in those times when you struggle to let me go, I want us to cling to Jesus, our anchor, and not one another.”
Kaylan knew she loved Nick, but in the moments when he let her in on the deepest conversations of his heart with the Lord, she loved him even more. Hope in Jesus. An anchor she could cling to, no matter how much the waves buffeted her. It somehow seemed appropriate for her relationship with her SEAL, for her relationship with the Lord. She leaned forward and bestowed a feather-light kiss on his lips. “I love you, you know.”
His slow, lazy grin set her heart racing. “I know.” He groaned. “I would love to curl up on the couch with you and not share you with anyone tonight. Do we have to go to Logan and Kim’s?”
Kaylan pulled a foil-covered dish out of the oven. “I don’t think you will regret going tonight.”
“And why is that, gorgeous?” He brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
She waltzed to the door. “Let’s just say that for once I know something you don’t know. Will you grab my jacket?”
Surrendered (Heart of a Warrior Series Book 3) Page 18