Translated Accounts

Home > Other > Translated Accounts > Page 3
Translated Accounts Page 3

by Kelman, James


  If one is to know about this section but that it is older, the buildings, all stonework. I did not pay the attention. I had been across the bridge numerous times, occasions. Yes it was beautiful, we can say that. Ceramics, an old art, the design very unusual, such a thing, a frieze, in such a form, people came, tourists and other strangers, photographs, video cameras. There are no mountains. Local people made use of that bridge. From early evening it became a promenade and for young people, many young people. Older people also, families, babies, yes, elderly, grandparents, all would be there, and creams, ices, they would buy them, and little children. Their enjoyment could be seen, that was displayed for all, securitys, all personnel, whomever was there, all might see it, this was not kept hidden. If securitys did not like this, yes, it was displayed.

  Military might be there all at that place. I did not see them. It was the bridge, truly a communal point, meeting place. Across from there was a small square, people would walk to there. For many it was the end of the promenade, they would go home. Tonight was not the same and these two fellows now were hurrying and when they reached that other side I heard the noise from behind, it was a chase, unmistakably so, the pounding feet, and these two were moving very quickly and I myself of course alert, yes I was alert and saw one of these two and knew him who he was, recognised him, foreign guest in our country, famous man, political man and the other, yes, I knew him also with the sight of his hair, newspapers made cartoons of him, lawyer, respected man here in this country, political man. Ahead I could see them veering, now across, to the left end of the square and down the passageway there. Not far, hearing their footsteps halting, thumping on a door, quickly quickly, and vanishing inside. Now pounding feet were at myself and this one man dashed on past and around that first corner across the square but to the right side and from behind were more, many of them, securitys, I should say seven of them, and gripping their rifle weapons, pursuing the individual across the bridge and across the square, disappearing from view. And silence. My memory says scuffling, were they catching him and he put a fight to them, and fought hard. I do not know. Until then I heard the gunshot, five in counting, but if I was mistaken, I might have been. They now returned, the several, not quickly, neither slowly. Of course I was unconcerned, acting so, I knew what it was, left hand in my pocket, right at my side, swinging. I was not self-conscious, keeping a rhythm but not as marching, simply, and with my left leg, and through my mind an image of an old experience, when in the early days a boy like myself I remember him, if he was selected, I do not remember, I do not think so, I did not know him. But he did not know how to march, I am saying, he not having

  yes I have been trained, trained in it, long experience.

  they paid me no heednoheed Summary Informationwhat language subject bybybayntsbabyˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ ˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ ˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ ˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ¿F0Document˛ ˇˇˇNB0Documentˇ˛ was like clockwork, swinginging at his side, a boy like myself, he did not know how to march, if he was selected, he se having belong experience

  was like clockwork, swinging at his side, a boy like myself, if he was selected, he did not know how to march, not having been trained in it, long experience as myself.

  faltering however, clockwork which was breaking down, required its rewinding, we were very new, if he was selected, I do not remember, I do not think so. He did not know how to march. His left arm was with his left leg, his right arm with his right leg, his shoulders yes, also, how his shoulders moved, he was concentrating to keep his limbs synchronised for it was unnatural to him, as to all, so moving his shoulders in such a manner, an aid for him. He did not find it natural and could not

  Now from behind me the securitys passed, speaking together, quietly, amusement, such a still night, voices could be heard, so, whispering together, one said to the other, He shot himself, it was a suicide mission. The others would be looking to me and laughter. Also people were there who had been walking out and now were returning home as the curfew, before that time. It would be to myself, the securitys would look to me. It is what will happen and we prepare for it, I was prepared for it, but did not look to them, carrying their weapons lightly, I knew it. What kind of weapons, old fashioned I think in design, I think so, and having bayonets certainly. Do not look to young ones, if they would seek excuses and two were so, young, 16, 17 years, 18 years, also carrying their weapons, and their nervous-systems and they cannot listen they cannot listen if you speak to them they do not hear you cannot hear you they wish to slap you, speak fast to me I cannot hear you, yes, they did not seek excuses but killed quickly and I say also that they were in readiness. 16, 17 years, 18 years, they did not know anyone, famous people from foreign countries, they did not know, they killed anyone, killed quickly, they did not know foreign countries, amereeca put me on the movies plees. They passed, yes, but then were stopping, allowing others to go on to the square, and across there, but not myself, they were looking to myself.

  I would have been surprised for them. A little. Not fear. Why. It would not be greater fear from myself, afraid not unafraid, afraid unafraid. What that question could demand of myself. They stopped thus stopping me, I could only stop now, I could not walk. They looked to me, politely, nodded so, politely as waiting for myself, they would not speak, I would give them my explanation, why I was there where I was going, if I was doing something, what it might be. I am returning home.

  You are late.

  My girlfriend.

  Girlfriend, yes, if there is a curfew, you know about a curfew?

  Yes.

  When is this curfew, is it beginning soon?

  Yes.

  I did not say sir. If sir is a part of my world, no, I do not think so. And if I said so I would have been a fool for these people and if they had fun with myself, perhaps push me to walk over the parapet of the bridge, why not, it was happening to people, we knew of many cases, could I fly, am I bird, no, I am a human, I cannot walk over the parapet of the bridge.

  When is this curfew beginning?

  Ten minutes.

  Perhaps not ten minutes for you, perhaps never for you, there is no curfew for you. Perhaps you will not be here. Is there a curfew for dead spirits? If you do not speak to us, speak to us. I have said, I am returning home, and I pointed to the left end of the square, down the passageway there, the houses down from there, which the two had retreated earlier. These securitys looked, following my arm, noting the houses there I had indicated. I saw one to another, older men, looking to one house now, and one looked to another, it was that house I had pointed to, it was that one entered by the two men. I was pointing only to that one. I said, I am returning to home, now moving my pointing arm from that direction.

  One older security now waved to me, his was thumb raised, impatient. Go quickly.

  Yes, I went quickly, and was moving across the square quickly knowing what I must do. I did not hear them leaving to go back across the bridge now and could not turn to see them but they would come, yes, it was clear to me, I knew it, this one security would know what I had done, he would speak to another and they would see it and would wonder and know and they would come, thinking what I had done, wonder about it yes and would come after me. What I had done, if my arm did indicate the house, it so did. There is fate, making this happen. If I ever could have intended such a thing. It was not possible. How was it possible, it was not possible. This may indicate a different truth to what we say, if events have their own truth, if they might have, who is to say if we cannot be within these events seeing so.

  A man had been killed, I can say murdered. It is known his identity, if he was a colleague, I think so, others say so. Securitys murdered him
, five shots by pistol. They ridiculed him, this man who was known to many people, saying that he shot only himself that I might hear, also others coming from the bridge, returning home, curfew to come, that anyone might hear, said by securitys as to impress itself upon we all, myself and these others. The man whom they referred was now a corpse. If he was a colleague, some said that he was.

  So, and now, it is to these other two fellows, the famous man, respected man, guest in our country, I know, in his own country, but also here he was well-known famous man, political man. I saw him, knowing him, he was with the other I think is the artist, father or if he is also a lawyer, perhaps so, I do not know. I was crossing the bridge and come from it and these two were hurrying, how long to curfew 15 minutes 20 minutes 10 minutes no minutes hurry hurry, yes, and I heard their whispering, talking together, walking quickly, I did not hear what about. I listened, yes, of course, but could not hear that I might make sense of it. They paid no heed to me. It was 8.30, 9 o’clock, something, evening, later.

  I do not know if he had rights. If there may be rights what are they, if it can be said, and why was this man in our country, if a question is to be asked, some would say, yes, why, this stranger had no brain, inflammatory speaking and to bayonets if military and all personnel are there, he did not know how to act in a country. I am here and I make trouble for everyone. I am this famous man, yes in your country I also am here and speaking from many platforms, inflammatory respected man, inflammatory speaking and to bayonets if military and all personnel are there, let them be there I shall speak, I speak only the truth, I speak it to their bayonets and batons, yes, so, where do these people visit, into the homes of local people? if so are they fools, if there may be watchdogs what do these watchdogs do, they lick these foolish strangers. If they are famous people, political people carrying notice-boards on their head I am a dangerous man and we can read it, to be treated with respect, having regard, these watchdogs will know me and what my rights are, that I am to be so treated, and deference, please.

  I know what is said.

  What are mistakes and errors, actions that are erroneous, omissions, what we may say of them, let us, please, that mistakes may exist, I think so.

  If human beings are perfect beings. Are beings perfect. In indicating these few houses to the securitys I made the greater error, nothing could be worse, even as so doing I knew it, as my arm was raised my finger pointing, the one security was looking to myself and he knew it, I saw his eyes and knew he would come to know what this is I have done. He was older fellow and with knowledge, seeing I have pointed to these few houses and there is the one house, he will think about it and come to know it, already there was something and it was in his eyes.

  I do not know about babies, did not then know about them. There was my own baby, my daughter, I did not know her but in the first months, being gone from there, and she was to my wife’s parents and I have not seen her, if she is alive, my wife or my daughter, which if one, two, I do not know. I held the baby, this little thing and bathed her, warmed the water, my fingers, and holding her

  So, this baby of the house, it is said I took this baby. Many say so, not knowing. It is said that I did so. What happened to myself, if to anyone, if to any colleague, having knowledge, I would know what to do, as anyone. This also was early for myself, I had come to this town, there were obligations

  Of these securitys at the bridge who had listened politely to me attentively to me. They had killed, and recently, one man who was a colleague, he may have been, I think so. So, I did not want to be killed. This is not sarcasm.

  I could shake my head. Instead if I might maintain the pretence, trying to do so. What I did do, I cannot remember for precise detailing, perhaps

  if I only am guessing

  I did not hear one say of me that I had pointed to them the one house. He did speak and the securitys turned to me, stared to me, placing me into their mind, one younger whose face with a rash there over his brow, staring, staring, I remember. I was at the top end of the square. I could do nothing, I walked on. I do not know why this had happened. I do not know. If I know it is nothing, having no importance. One had seemed familiar to me. It is true. It is no unusual thing.

  It would happen to whomever, seeing someone, hearing a voice, footstep, a cough, we hear a cough and instantly we know, who is he, I know this person, feeling that we must know him from somewhere, he is very familiar to us. It happens often for myself

  How I had been with them. How I should have been. It was deprecatory, I was deprecatory. I should not have been so, I should have torn a shoe from my foot and thrown it at them, I should have slapped them, harder. This is not sarcasm.

  Not disapproving, no, I was apologetic, excusing myself.

  I had been a witness, I was present. They had paid heed to me, in future they would pay heed to me. They went about this business, it is shameful, if it is shameful.

  It is not an unacceptable thing. I was deprecatory to them. I am cowardly, I should have slapped them, these several securitys, slap them, harder harder. They had murdered one colleague. I could forget about it.

  I did not walk too quickly until then they were gone. I was thinking now what might happen, perhaps if nothing would but no yes something would, I knew it

  now, yes, not in view and I could have waited or else except that no, no, there was the need then and the decision was my decision I would make that decision and knew what to do as indeed, what, and I now could walk quickly, they were gone, across the square and the passageway, to the house, door of the house, knocked on the door of the house, banged on it, come come, come.

  I knew wherever the securitys were, they had gone but would come, if they had not gone, it did not matter, there was only for myself, it was the decision, I had made it.

  What more, banging on the door of the house.

  expecting nothing more, what could there be, banging on the door of the house, banging banging. And from within the house there came no sound and time now was so short I knew so short but none answered why not, the securitys would be coming. I could not understand, banging again, again, again, again to God banging again, you must answer, answer you must answer, banging banging until the door opened and a woman was there stared at me and over my shoulder, You cannot come in, you cannot come in, what is wrong with you, you cannot come in here, we cannot take you.

  Warmth from inside, food smells, baking smells, pastries. Behind her was another woman, the baby in her arms, also a child by the fireside, I saw them.

  They are coming, I said, you must tell them, they must leave, securitys are coming now, now, I know it, coming to here, they must leave now

  She then grasped my wrist, pulled me inside, shutting the door and inside there at another door the two men were there with another, one old man, elderly man. You must leave now, I said it to them, securitys will come here very soon. Now I recognised this one elderly man. Yes. Also, of our people, he was the trade unionist, famous, framing the famous documents, here to the State Security Council, this is for you, he gave it to them, shaming to them, giving it, all foreign media and this was the man, everyone knew him. Now he was old. I did not know he so was old, very. The two others now looking to him and he I do not know, if he did something, I so cannot think, what it may be, have been. And then also from the staircase a girl was there and shouting, They are coming they are coming.

  I saw the baby on the floor by the fireside, the other child was with it, the baby, now as in mid movement, its image forever there for me, laughing and on one hand, the other raised as balancing itself, on its knees looking up to the child, its sister, brother, I cannot remember, girl I think, but the baby, the interested look that a baby gives, I see my own daughter, and its laughingand andto the guest in our countryˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ ˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ
ˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ ˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇSummaryInformationhatlanguageor­@ifdotcom˛or@ifdotcomiftildnottildˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ ˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ ˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ˛ˇˇˇˇ¿F0ˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇDocument­@ifdotcom˛F0Docu ˇ˛was like clockwork, faltering however, clockwork which was breaking down, required its rewinding, we were very new, I was early to this town and my obligations I had these, always these. He did not know. His left arm went with his left leg, his right with his right, I recollect his shoulders, how his shoulders moved, he was concentrating hard to keep these limbs synchronised, for it was unnatural, and moving his shoulders in such a manner was an aid for him. It took him many days before he found the natural marching expression but his colleagues, including myself, we never allowed him to forget, until selection. He had a good humour, he laughed with us. Nevertheless, we should have stopped it long before, I think, but it is always the way. Bayonets, I remember too, old fashioned, design from years back. They could fix their bayonets and throw sacks of grain one to another, they could catch the sack on the bayonet and throw to the next man, this was practice for them, if they might use babies, of course. Now when I continued I heard the securitys coming behind me and of course I could not turn around, they were chattering, some laughter, all quiet. They had noticed me and to lone individuals they paid attention. I hoped soon they would pass, had slowed my pace to that purpose. However, yes, I was watchful, ever watchful, walking so, others came from the bridge, promenade, now the curfew and they must return home, also myself, but it was myself, the securitys saw me, stopped for me, no fear, I would not show fear, could not, they would ridicule, walking out from the parapet off from the parapet I am not a bird ˙ . º. ,. / 9/ >

‹ Prev