by John Keene
She immediately thought of her work. Were anyone to find it, they would suspect the worst, and she might be punished and then sold off. She wasn’t even sure how Eugénie might respond. As far as she could recall she hadn’t experienced such an episode for the entire time that they’d been at the Academy of the Sisters of the Most Precious Charity of our Lady of the Sorrows. She entered the room cautiously. Eugénie did not acknowledge her. Silent, the white girl continued balling up her dirty clothes to be taken down to the washroom. Carmel perched on her cot and watched. When Eugénie was done with the clothes, she sat at her desk and began to brush her hair, which had come loose from its knot. Carmel did not move. When Eugénie had finished, she tied a brown ribbon around the ponytail, smoothed her frock, and sat back down. She still said nothing. Carmel crossed the room and started to re-sort the laundry when she felt something rap the back of her head. She looked up to see Eugénie stepping back, her forehead and cheeks dark as port, her eyes swollen.
“We never even got as far as the river,” she spat out, preparing to strike Carmel again. From the folds in her skirt Carmel withdrew her rosary. Instead of administering a beating, however, Eugénie pushed closer to the door, whispering only: “Parce que le diable ne s’arrête jamais.” Because, it is true, the devil, tireless, rests only for the devil. With that, Eugénie snatched the rosary and fled the room.
A dialogue
Are you going to waste yet another opportunity to save yourself?
[. . .]
If you use your time wisely you’ll be ready to take action.
[. . .]
You can take the wisdom you have at hand, scant as that is, or my counsel, which is to consider the consequences of repeatedly following the path you already know.
[. . .]
the worst winter ever horrible cold mlle E still not speaking to me except orders fais ceci fais cela as always do this do that a pere malevo MALESVAUX here since after the flood say mass every morning in the chapel all of the S allowd to stand in the back i can say it by heart mlle E alw talkg to him she tell the other girls he ws a good frend of mon oncle she workg in the kichen i on garden detail we had to shovell snow off roof so v v cold then knitting stockings for the winter first for mlle E then nuns she made me promessePROMISE no drawings no no none wrote out english sentences & sd 1 rosary befor slp
so v v cold the creek a knife of ice sky same color today we shovelld off the roadway down to the fence and the town mlle E sd to me but not to me bc she is not speakg to me parts of the town of Gethsiminy is froze over the nuns send some breads & soup down but the revd mayor refusd I polishd mlle E new boots from her tante Mme FrançoisFRANCIS & sweaters sewd her collars & tear in her cape she haves anothr handmade book fr her tante on my cot but when I sd merci she ignore me after a while she gone out quo puella fugit rido latin sentences & 1 rosary bef slp
Frigidissima haec hiems est I overhrd one Sr say that the govnr wd sending some help becouse the town sufferg so bad still they refuses bread and soup today we scrubd the cellar floors & the attic of the convent not to disturb the girls we clean the 1st and 2nd storeys on Satrday the other S did not speak to me but sd to each othr pointing to me why dont it save us the trouble and clean them with a spell they laughd mlle E still not speakg to me say I shd keep my nose out of all those books a ngr with a head full of figrs is as useful as a broom that know arithmetic I rolld my eyes mind yrself girl english sentences & 1 rosary bef slp
still so cold woke early almost dr but decide to read insted mlle E punishd bc she did not finish her french assignment had to sit the penance rm w SRS & pray ros which she nevr do save in chapel & mass even then she only mouth the wds I can say it in my lang french english latin & greek she did not speak when she return to rm but pulld my hair when my back was turnd etiam hieme cor gelatur today we washd down 2nd flr and 1st flr all the classrooms & workrooms & the ballroom where the Srs and the girls eat later after evening prayers fr MALESVAUX went down the hall & a little while later mlle E gone too latin & english sentences & 1 ros bef slp
V cold today Sunday mass I stood in the back w the other S I sd the whole mass to myself they fell aslp or touch their dresses or gossip aftwrds we had our theology class w the nuns of course Sr did not call on me but all my writ answers was correct later she sd to hrself but I heard her what a loss if only she were wht she might be worthy of taking vows later in the room mlle E order me to clean up I dustd everything swepd the floor refold all her clothes she did not speak later after lights out she gone english sentences & 1 ros bef slp
Finalement cold breakg at morng prayers Sr askd us to pray for townsp who died fr the cold she sd ten but i hear one S sd many more & they blame the convent if the Srs dont stop their wickedness there will be under siege again there is something or someone terrib evill up there sd the revd mayor then the S all look at me rolld my eyes washd cloths all day then hung to dry in cellar later mlle E & her friends JOSEPHINE & MARY MARGARET sitting on her bd J sd do you think your S ever get lonely & MM sd of course they seem human too but mlle E sd no bc they have us she refusd to nod off finally then english & latin sentences & 1 ros bef slp
Still cold mlle E lookd strange this morn sd i know it was you i combd her hair straitened her bureau made her bed she just repeatd i know it was in the garden det today a new S FEDRAPHEDRA the nuns call her PHÈBE-MARIE aft the Bib belong to mlle JOSEPHINE O’G fr savannah her old S was NISI who the nuns called NICOLE-MARIE sent back to georgia she never speak i am hope PHEDRA/PHÈBE more friendly her eyes a secret waiting to be solved mlle E not speaking tired went to be early so & 1 ros
Monday so cold mlle E not speakg to me for 4 days often w father malesvaux he still do not appear to reconize me am teaching PHEDRAPH my signs swept washd down room floor washd out mlle E clothes w other ones so v dirty alws hung to dry in cellar only saw PHedra|PHèbe brief tday she used 1 sign while knitting stocks heard 1 S say to another S in Eng CARMEL-MARIE is putting poison in the food im not i signed they ran away caelestia mihi vires read mlle E Bib & wrote latin & englis sentences & ros
cold cold wheres spring mlle E still not speaking disaprd last night like past came in early morning cloaths v wet cold struck me several times said if y scream or bang the walls I SHALL KILL YOU on garden det ground hard as stone then patched tablecl serviettes curtains today all day fingers tired swept PH at first no speak then we sat for few minutes she knows twenty signs now we talkd for as long as we cld mlle E held my face down in the washbas you had better watch out she sd then i cd breathe english sentences we declare these truths to be self evident & 1 ros
Monday still v cold tho PRINTEMPS – SPRING mlle E sick again had to lie down did not want to go to infirm did not want to see pere malesvaux he is still here she sd stop staring at me you witch her face full and red after attend mlle J PH met me in the hall we sat for a few minutes and spoke she knows almost 35 or 40 signs now I give her a drawg do not let anyone see it she kissd me on my cheek english sentences & drawg & ros
Early wake mlle E sick again I will take you to the infirmary no she said I cleaned up her mess all of a sudden very hot today like home wkd in garden on det after through w mlle E who will spend summer here say mme/mrs FRANCIS aunt of E she dont want her back there fewer girls now PH beside me we digging put in seeds 2 S told PH dont you know she disappears at night we seen her above the conv from the attic windows on her broom I signed they ran to the other end of the garden PH got very qui
et I give her a drwg later mlle E could not keep her food down sd if you are poisoning me girl you will be sorry as if rido latin sents & 2 ros
No entries for ? wks mlle E refused ink dei gratia she relented v hot they say there is a drouth in the town one of the male S HUBERT was in town spk with the 1 or 2 S there sd they tell them mayor towns people say: is those nuns wherever the POPISH cult take root there also grows evil had an entire baskt of woolens to darn PH had another detail until aft supper we seensaw each other outside the dining hall missd you she sd in signs she tells me abt georgia mlle J family how she born on island down the coast her fathr sold off to louisiana I give her small 2 drwgs careful fold 1 of her later cleand the room swept washd down w soap back to the knittg finished six prs so far mlle E’s ankles swollen I caressd them till she fell aslp was v tired & 1 ros
Wk early not sure wh mlle E returnd sick as always cleand it up she will not go to infirm cannot fit one pinaf blamd me for shrinkd it she got ready to strike me and I lookd at her she laid down the drouth in the town continues made candles with Sr FRANÇOIS-AGNÈS kepd 2 fr myself Deo volente saw PH when I went to draw water fr the well she touchd my face I tell her about Ayiti mlle E family valdore how we escapd gave her 1 dr hid in hem of my frock mlle E followd me around till she fell aslp v late aft lights out &1 rosary
No entries for 2 wks mlle E hidden my book threatd to give it to MOTHR SUP she still sick face red cannot fit her bodice angry at me today v hot at mass like in Ayiti sat in balc as always PH held my hand afterw group of S told her you will be just like the witch if you dont stay away do you know she can really talk but only speak the devils tongue PH laughed and then 1 S named MARILENE-MARIE slap her they nearly fight but I stoppd it they ran off we got a piece of chicken in tonights soup gave her 1 drwg of MY self mlle E went to bed early night visit did not work & 2 ros
Woke early mlle E crying what have you done to me I didnt do anything I sd she tried to strike me with a brush stop it you sorciere you bruja diablesse but I didnt do anything I fight her back take off the spell SR CHARLES ISABELLE came in mlle E sd CARMEL is being insolent SR did not believe her but she orderd me to say penance and the ros, I saw PH brief she hugd bef she went back to her mistr mlle Josephine mlle E fell asleep bef lights out in the corner tryd night visit did not work no & 1 ros
Woke v early my back sore fr cleaning the inner halls my det this wk the other S kepd turng over my bucket one took the rags sd make the water run back into the pail I will I threatd they grew quiet mlle E upset you wk for me she sd I sd I know but she did not listen PH askd me do you know any spells from Ayiti I sd no spells but my mother knew how to call upon the other worlds but I do not have those powers she sd oh I think you do we laughd she gave me a hand of violet PHlox as we heading indrs 1 S girl sd to her looks SHADOW like you finally found your BLACK they laughd PH did not answer mlle E v tired made me lie beside her stroke her hair deum misereatur as I fall slp she sd somethg is wrong are you doing somethg to me CARMEL I answered I havent done a thing God have mercy on me fin she slp english sent 1 dr & 1 ros
V hot by early morn like in Jérémie several nuns were sick the few wh girls left not feeling well mlle E cd not get out of bed pls CARMEL she sd use your powers I shake my head what powers we prepared pamflets to be sent to other Caths in the west several wh men arrivd w horses wagons mlle E wantd me to descrive them I sd I cdnt remember she was v angry but fell aslp then I saw pere malesvaux w them he to stay aft they leave PH & I stand behd wagon she kissd me we hrd something & stayd for a little while then we left I give 1 dr of us in eveng when I checkd on mlle E she still sick had a fevr I bathd her head tryd a night visit no luck & 1 ros
V hot today men loadd up wagons we put in preservs sev trunks of cloaths also got much merchdse from east mlle E up and abt she doesnt eat look ill but face flush I combd her hair some fall out she big as a calabash v quiet stared at me but say noth when wagons & men leave PH and I hid und the stairs so we cd talk I gave her dr hid it in my hair & she sd your power is in here & touches my brow later mlle E sd where was you dont lie to me then she wd not talk again tryd a night visit no luck latin sentences & 2 rosaries
Fri woke v early v hot day like mid sum mlle E awake alr made me take out her slip and pinafore do not let the Srs see I did not see PH all day mlle E said well you think anyone here cares about you but me even some other S she laughd I startd crying but she pulled my hair your only concern is me I fight her back she stopd I overhrd 2 S whisp pere malesvaux leaving heading west to St Louis after mass Sun like it was a secret where is PH did not see mlle J tryd night visit but did not work da meliora & 3 ros
Sat woke v early v hot day alr mlle E awake v quiet she was read the BIBLE she never do that did not speak to me I went downst to beg wkg on the new cloths w Sr FRANCOIS-AGNES no PH I sewd till dinner 1 S sd to another now you see she made her shadow disappear I lookd at them oh where is yr shadow PH now they laughed anothr S sd I think her mistr sent her home she was turning into a witch hrself or was it the witchs mistr who got her send her home they laughg I turnd away cd not finish my din made sev errors w the stitchg later mlle E silent not sayg anything when she aslp I did not cry tryd night visit saw my mothers face but thats all & no ros
Sun v hot wk early mlle E already awake staring at me at mass pere malesvaux sd it v fast sat alone aft we assembled on the back lawn to say goodbye to pere malesvaux he wldnt return until the late fall or early winter MOTHR SUP sd the wagon to carry him off wd arrive that aft sev nuns prayd I went downst to sew cloaths did not see mlle E at dinner we got soup w sweet onions some jerky & sweet bisc I sewed until nightf Sr FRANÇOIS-AGNÈS said go back to your rm when I got there did not see mlle E her bed empty a circle of ashes ? on the floor near my cot I waitd until v late no mlle E quiet outsd checkd my books and papers all there sd rosary tryd night visit but no luck then on a swatch of paper no larger than my palm & began —
Drawing
River—or creek—a hill—
a clearing—two figures—no faces—
girl— male— older male
—convent— barns— fence— gate—
hedges— trees— woods—
—convent—grounds around the convent—
beeches— mulberries— black willows—dense
trees—so dense two bars of black—
rain—light rain— falling— river—
convent —barns— fence— stiles—
a figure—girl— lying —cylinder—
water—dark water— river— current—
flood— circle— blood— empty—
empty circle—shore— empty—
shawl— doll— blue— empty—
eyes— black— tongue—
torethewhiteout— I – N – F – A – N – T—
Krik krak, a week later at midday, as I sat in the cellar workroom in the rear of the nunnery, making new blouses out of old linens under the nominal supervision of Sr. François Agnès, who had slipped away to make a toilette, I heard a hubbub emanating from the first floor. The summer brazier that been pressed to the sky above the convent and town had yielded to several days of light, intermittent rain, but the basement remained humid as a cave, and I found myself intermittently reciting lines of Scripture, switching from English to French to Spanish to Kreyòl to Latin to Greek to myself in order not to fall asleep. Sr. François Agnès’s Bible sat on the table beside me, open to the Gospel of John. As I brought the need
le to the sleeve, the warm, dense air, which filled the air as if I had conjured it from my childhood, enfolded me like a lullaby. . . .
When I awoke, having not missed a stitch, I could still hear a din above, though now it was feet scurrying rather than voices. Sr. François Agnès had not returned, nor had any other nuns or enslaved girls. I set aside my needle and fabric and hurried out of the room to find out the source of the commotion. Down the hallway, I saw Sr. François Agnès huddled with Sr. Ambrose Jeanne in the doorway to the storeroom, their whispers caroming off the walls. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and lips and slowly, step by step as if to render myself invisible, approached them.
Sr. Ambrose Jeanne was telling Sr. François Agnès that given the circumstances, the Mother Superior had no choice but to conduct an inspection, it was a disgrace that such events should come to pass in a house dedicated to the Lord, but under the circumstances there was no choice. Sr. Ambrose Jeanne shook her head violently; it was simply impossible that any of the nuns, let alone the girls, had been involved in such abominations. Sr. François Agnès agreed, pausing to look in my direction, her gaze arrowing past me towards the far wall, but added that the Mother Superior had no other option—the sheriff, Reverend White, had given her an ultimatum, and if she was unwilling to examine the girls, he would bring a party similar to the one that had just accompanied him, firearms in hand and deputized by the Commonwealth of Kentucky, to the convent’s front steps, either do his work on the premises or take the nuns and girls by force to the town.