He may as well have kicked me in the gut, or stuck his hand into my chest and ripped out my heart.
“So, where is she sleeping? Do I need to get the guest room ready?” I asked.
Please don’t say the pool house. Please don’t say it…
“Actually, she put her things out in the pool house already. She said Chance wouldn’t mind. Besides, he needs to be around a good woman this time of year. I don’t want him being alone and depressed.” My dad explained.
I caught Buffy looking at me. The worry in her eyes was obvious. She knew I was about to lose it.
I could hear a woman laughing in the kitchen, and felt the tears accruing. Before it was obvious to my dad, I excused myself.
“I am just going to go upstairs for a bit. It isn’t like I can drink wine with you all,” I said sarcastically.
“I think Hope should be allowed to have a glass of wine with us, Mark. It isn’t like she’ll be driving,” Buffy stated.
“She can have a glass at dinner,” he said.
I rolled my eyes and marched upstairs to my room, hearing Susan laughing even when I’d gotten to my room made me want to get in my car and drive away.
I flopped down on my bed and began crying my eyes out. I don’t know why I couldn’t handle things. I knew he wasn’t doing anything with her, but it hurt so much anyway. She put her things in the pool house. God only knows what she packed to wear to bed. I was so beside myself with jealousy that I refused to go back downstairs. I couldn’t see her hanging all over him. I couldn’t watch her seducing him. It was agony, like I was being tortured from the inside out.
In all honesty it was bullshit. Chance was mine.
I had to keep telling myself that.
I hadn’t realized that I had fallen asleep until a knock at my door woke me up. Chance came sauntering toward me. “Hope, baby, are you okay?”
“No! I can’t stand it. I hate her for touching you. This isn’t fair. I feel like a kid being punished. How can I be in the same room with little miss hands? How can I smile when I want to stick my fingernails in her eyes?”
He laughed at my response. “I like it when you’re protective.”
“Well I like it when she packs her shit and leaves. If you think I’m okay with her sleeping in that pool house you’ve got another thing coming, Chance. I will cut you off. No, I’ll give you back this ring.”
“Jesus, woman. There’s no need for drastic measures. I don’t plan on sleeping in the same place as she does. Once she has enough to drink, she’ll pass out. It’s not going to even be an issue.”
“If you say so. It’s still going to be a while, and she obviously can’t keep her grabby hands off of you. She acts like you’re a piece of freaking meat.”
“I happen to like being referred to as a piece of meat, when you’re hungry.”
I shoved him away from me. “Jerk.”
He shook his head, leaned in, and kissed me on the lips. “They asked me to come get you for dinner. Hope, I am so sorry she’s here. There’s only one woman in this house that I belong to, and it’s always going to be you. Try to calm down enough to have Christmas dinner with me.”
I finally looked up at him. He knew I’d been crying; it was obvious. “She’s not sleeping in the same house as you!” I reiterated.
“The hell she is. No fucking way, Hope. I won’t let that happen, I told you. Please calm down.”
I started to feel better just hearing him say he wouldn’t allow it.
He leaned down and played with the ring on my finger. He brought it to his lips and kissed it. “Nothing will come between us. Please know that.”
“Okay, I’ll try.” It was all I could say.
“Twenty minutes,” he said. Chance leaned down further and pressed his lips against mine. “The only person who’ll be in my arms tonight is you.”
I watched Chance walk out of my room, and I finally got myself out of bed. I ran over to the mirror and started doing my makeup to hide the redness. I decided to change my clothes, for some revengeful attention at the dinner table. I wouldn’t be treated like a child in my own house.
The tight black dress was low cut and accented every curve of my body, especially my large breasts. Susan could kiss my ass. I had one feature that she did not and I was fully prepared to have Chance staring at them during the whole meal. Two could play the seductive game, and I already knew who the winner would be.
I let my hair fall down my back and the natural curls fell right into place.
The voices were coming from the dining room, so I ran into the kitchen. I took two shots of some clear liquor that my father drank with coke. Both went down smooth, and since I hadn’t heard anyone calling me, I took one more.
My hands ran down my dress and I made sure it was sitting perfectly as I sauntered into the room. Everyone stopped talking. Chance was in the middle of taking a drink when he literally started to choke.
“Hope, you look amazing.” Buffy announced. She pointed her hand to sit across the table from Chance. “Sit down. I poured you a glass of red. I hope you like it.”
“Thank you.” I tried not to look at Chance, but I could feel his eyes burning into my body.
When I caught a glimpse of Susan she seemed to also be staring me down.
Most of the dinner discussion was Buffy and Susan reliving their youth through stories. They included Chance in a few, but after the first bottle of wine I noticed Susan getting a bit too open about her and Chance sneaking around when they were younger. At one point he actually got up from the table and got himself a beer.
The liquor was really showing its ugly face by the time dessert was served. Buffy had made some fancy shit that she probably spent hours on. I could barely feel my fingers, so poking at the pretty designed cake was fun. I found myself laughing out for no reason at random times.
“Hope, are you okay?” My father asked.
I was sick of hearing that bitch talk about all the places she had fucked my boyfriend. I looked up and smiled. “Just dandy, daddy.”
Chance’s stare burned into me, and I couldn’t help but laugh at him. In fact, I couldn’t stop laughing at EVERYTHING.
“What is wrong with you?” My father demanded. “You couldn’t be drunk from one glass of wine.”
“Plus some shots!” I said while still giggling.
Chance looked upset with me. I couldn’t have him mad at me. He tried to mouth me the word sit down, but I stood there staring at him.
With no regard for us or our future, my drunk self did something horrible. I pointed across the table at Chance and Susan.
“Do you want to hear about my first time?” My body started swaying and in the corner of my eye I saw my father coming at me. “My boyfriend forced me to sleep with him, and after several attempts he took me while other kids at the Country Club sat there watching us. Then he fucked my best friend the same week.”
My father had come up behind me and grabbed me. He was pulling me out of the room apologizing to everyone for my actions.
“Let go of me,” I screamed.
“You’re embarrassing yourself, Hope. What’s the matter with you? Why would you drink so much? Did Trevor try to call you? This isn’t like you. Did something else happen?” He asked.
I stood on the first step and looked my dad in the eye, by this time Chance and Buffy were standing in the doorway. I looked over at Chance. “I miss my boyfriend. I wish we were together but we aren’t. He is with someone else now.” I cried like a little baby. My dad didn’t know I was talking about Chance, and my drunk self couldn’t even begin to think about what I was saying. He obviously wasn’t really with her.
I ran upstairs to my room and locked my door. Finally, after a few hours, I saw Buffy standing over my bed. “Take these.” She handed me two pills. “Hope, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe she was throwing herself on him like that. I should have known better.”
I didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to know if Chance hated me. “Wher
e’s Chance?”
“Downstairs with your dad and Susan,” she explained.
“I can’t watch them, Buff. It hurts too much.” I started to cry again.
She shook her head and hugged me. “I never should have kept this from your father.” As she continued to comfort me she spotted my ring, which in my drunkenness had turned diamond up. “Oh my god, is that?”
“Chance gave it to me. It was his promise to me,” I confessed as tears ran down my face.
“Why are you crying? I should be the one crying.” she admitted.
I let her hug me. “He’ll never forgive me for tonight. I was such an ass.”
“That man is in love with you, Hope. Nothing will change that. Please calm down. I’ll make sure he comes upstairs. Just give me a few minutes.”
I watched Buffy leave the room. The laughing had finally stopped downstairs and I wondered if everyone had just gone to bed. Not knowing where Susan was, I snuck down the steps. They were in the kitchen except for Chance. Before I could turn around to walk into the living room, I felt his arms around me.
“I am so sorry, baby,” he said as he cupped his hands over my face.
“I can’t do this anymore, Chance. They all need to know the truth.”
He wiped a tear from my cheek. “Come to the pool house tonight. Spend the night in my arms and we’ll talk about telling him.”
“Okay.”
He kissed me one more time before going back into the kitchen. I sat down on the step and listened for a moment.
Chance didn’t waste any time. “I am going to call it an early night. I have a headache, and just want to lay down.”
I heard some commotion, but when I ran upstairs I noticed him going into the pool house alone. He looked up and blew me a kiss before turning off his light, so that I could sneak in undetected.
When I started getting my clothes together I heard a knock on my door. I hid the evidence and opened it to find my dad.
“How are you doing, Hope?” He asked kindly.
I shrugged and held my head down embarrassed. “I’m fine, just really sorry.”
“I’ve been drunk many times, sweetie. I am not really mad at you, just concerned about things you said. Do you miss Trevor?”
“No way! I hate him, dad, I swear.”
He put his arm around me. “I want you to be with a good guy, Hope; someone that will love you and treat you with respect.”
“I want that too.”
“We can start over in the morning, okay?” He asked.
I nodded. “Sure.”
When I heard he and Buffy talking to Susan down the hall I locked my bedroom door, and ran down the stairs. Once outside, I made my way to the pool house in no time at all. Chance was sitting there waiting for me.
I flew into his arms squeezing him so tight. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t handle it. She wouldn’t shut up.”
“I should have left the table. She was just trying to get a rouse out of me. You have to know I hated it too,” he said.
Chance picked me up and carried me from the living room to his bedroom without releasing my lips from his.
We lay on the bed on our sides just staring at each other for a long period of time.
“You looked beautiful tonight.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“I like it when you’re jealous. You’re scary, and unpredictable.”
“Don’t mess with me. You never know when I’ll snap,” I teased.
“Just as long as you take it out on me, you little tiger.”
We both laughed before getting comfortable again. My Christmas may have suffered a bump in the road, but it was ending just as perfect as it started.
54
It was a mistake to even think Hope would be okay with Susan’s grabby paws all over me. The woman wouldn’t get the hint. All I wanted was for Hope to be with me, out in the open. So many times tonight I just wanted to tell Mark. We’d made it this long, but I didn’t know if I could go until New Years.
Hope and I were deep into a kiss when someone knocked on my door. She sat up, shirtless, and looked at me. “Who do you think it is?” She whispered.
It was late, and I was sure that Mark and Buffy had called it a night. “I don’t know. Just stay there. I promise I’ll get rid of them.” I said as I headed out of the bedroom. The snow made it bright outside, even in the middle of the night and I could see that it was Susan.
I opened the door and she came pushing in. “I can’t believe you had Buffy make up the guest room,” she said.
I turned to face her. She was wearing a long winter coat and stood with her hands on her hips. “Sorry. I’m not in the mood for company, Susan.”
She started to approach me. “Don’t you remember how good we were? How good I made you feel?”
“It was a long time ago,” I admitted.
“Let me remind you then.” She opened the coat to reveal some skimpy lingerie.
I turned away from her. “Please put the coat back on.”
She didn’t listen. Instead, she came toward me and pressed her lips against mine. I pushed her off of me. “Dammit, Susan, I said no. Get a fucking hint.”
“What the fuck, Chance? Are you gay?” She asked.
“No, of course not. I have a girlfriend now, and I love her,” I confessed.
She started buttoning her jacket finally. “Buffy didn’t tell me,” she said embarrassed.
“I didn’t want anyone to know. Please don’t say anything to them. I don’t want them knowing my business, ” I said as I pretty much pushed her back out of the door.
“If you change your mind, you know where to find me,” she said.
I made my way back into the bedroom. Hope was sitting up hugging her naked chest. “I can’t believe you didn’t get dressed.”
“I think I want to get caught. I can’t hide this anymore, Chance. Look at everything we’ve had to go through. I can’t stand it.”
“Me either,” I admitted as I pulled her back into my arms.
Hope finally fell asleep, but I stayed awake wondering how all of this was going to play out. I needed for her to be cool for a few more days. Once she was eighteen, they couldn’t stop us.
Three days later, things were still weird being around Susan. She’d gone from throwing herself on me, to eerily watching my every move. Mark had pulled me aside twice and asked what was wrong with her. It was hard to tell him that she wasn’t Hope.
Buffy made Hope a beautiful birthday cake and dinner. Her father had gone out and got her a new laptop for deciding to go to school, and she was so surprised. I slipped her a gift in private. I had printed out a photo we took at the beach that time we went together. I made a paper frame for it and wrote a note on the back about how much she meant to me.
Hope’s birthday dinner was also the rehearsal dinner for the wedding. We had a house full, and there was a bunch of people stopping by. After the minister who was performing the ceremony had gone over all of the details, everyone began to leave. Of course, that left the five of us in the house again to ring in the New Year.
Susan had drank a bit too much, and was attempting to grope all over me again. This time she cornered me in a hallway and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I shook my head, pushed her away, and called it a night.
Hope joined me after an hour of waiting, and I gave her the other half of her present. We rang in the New Year and afterwards, I spent at least thirty minutes kissing her, with my lips, my tongue, on every inch of her body. When my head reached her tender skin between her legs, she cried out in ecstasy. I love satisfying her and for the first time I didn’t have to hide it.
We fell asleep naked in my bed, and when Buffy came in to wake us up, Hope never even moved. “Seriously? You guys want to get caught on my wedding day?”
“She’s an adult, Buff, let her enjoy it.” I stated while still holding her close to me.
“Okay, well before you spill the beans to everyone, could you at least give
me one day to get married?” She pleaded.
Hope and I sat up, realizing how much it was upsetting her. “Sorry, Buff. We’re being selfish. You’re right. We can tell my father about us another day. What is a few more days, right?” Hope said.
“Well, I came in here to let you both know that your dad and Susan are already up. We have a bunch to do, and I just knew Hope was in here. I would appreciate it if you could get yourselves up and arrive in the house at separate times,” she said frustrated.
“We’ll get there when we get there. Calm down. You’re just being bitchy because you’re nervous.”
Buffy held her hands up in the air. “Whatever, Chance! It is my day, you know?”
When she stormed out I pulled Hope down for another kiss.
“Maybe we should head to the main house,” she suggested.
“Yeah, probably.” I kissed her once more. “But, I hate pretending that I don’t want you.” He looked up at me and licked his lips. “Because, I always want you.”
A few minutes later Hope and I got up and made our separate entrances into the main house, like my sister wanted. Buffy finally calmed down, and we were able to start getting everything ready. Since they decided to have the service at the Country Club, we all had to pile into cars and make our way there.
The service started at two and only about twenty people had been invited. The wedding party was just one of Mark’s friends and myself, and then Hope and Susan.
Buffy had spent hours upon hours making centerpieces with mason jars. She and Hope had taken at least ten jars out back and spray painted the insides silver. She found these pink and white flowers that matched her colors and filled the jars. I thought it was stupid until I was standing there looking at the finished product.
I should have never doubted my sister’s creativity. She was amazing.
Hope came down the aisle first, and I felt like I was going to lose it because she was so beautiful. Her hair had been curled to perfection and she looked like a china doll. She caught my eyes while she marched and never even paid attention to her father noticing. I was shocked when he turned and nodded at me, as if knowing she was looking at me.
A Hope and a Chance Page 34