The sheer relief of what was happening besieged me. I couldn’t recall a time when I felt so free. Being as I was no longer considered a suspect in two murders, I even received an apology. Nothing could bring back my mother, from the stress that led to her death, but I prayed that she was looking down on me, proud of the new life I’d found.
I know she’d be proud of my sister. Buffy’s new business was doing great. Her grand opening brought in a huge crowd, and I’d never in my life seen her this happy.
As for Hope and I, well after convincing Mark to help us get an apartment together, we settled into not having to hide our relationship. It wasn’t difficult considering that we enjoyed being alone more often than out in public. As soon as courses began I was busy with baseball. I spent every weekend at the batting cages, or the gym. One thing I had on my side was the fact that I’d stayed in shape. Not playing ball for a year hadn’t taken away my skillset. After the fourth practice I was back on track. Since I wasn’t there on a scholarship, I had less stress, finding it easy to manage schoolwork with everything else on my plate. Hope struggled at first, but finally got into the groove of how things worked.
We thought everything was going to be smooth sailing, until my coach called me into his office. Apparently new guidelines were being incorporated. There was a chance that I’d have to live on campus at least during baseball season. I knew it applied when I was on a scholarship, albeit it hadn’t been implemented on any of my paperwork. I’d been assured that in my case it wasn’t necessary.
Still, my coach was adamant about making sure I knew that it could be an issue. There were ways around me having to move into a dorm. Convincing Hope it was good idea wasn’t without a little effort. I’d sat her down one night after practice. I think she could tell that something was wrong. “Hope, I’ve got something we need to discuss.”
“Me too.”
This caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting her to have something to tell. “You do? Is everything okay?”
She shrugged and looked down at her folded hands. I could tell something was bothering her. “Is it because I’m away all the time for baseball?” Even though it was important to me, nothing meant more than having her by my side.
“No. Not directly. I mean, I suppose it could be hard for me if you were gone, but I’d figure out how to deal with things on my own.”
“I’m confused.”
Hope reached over, taking my hands in hers. “Please don’t freak out.”
“I’m about to if you don’t start talking. After everything we’ve been through, why would you think you need to handle everything on your own?”
“Because this is sort of my fault. Okay, it’s all my fault,” she corrected herself. “I should have remembered. I can’t believe that it never crossed my mind. It’s just that with school, and moving, I forgot all about it.”
With our fingers intertwined, I squeezed, reminding her that whatever she was overreacting about we’d figure it out together. “Hope, talk to me.”
“You’re going to be so mad at me.”
Had she cheated on me? Did she give some random guy in one of her classes her cell phone number? I couldn’t figure out what it was, or what she could have forgotten. Then, as her eyes widened, I realized what I was overlooking. It was at that very moment when I figured out what she had forgotten. It would not only impact our relationship, but both of our futures. “You didn’t?”
She looked away, and I watched tears fall down her cheeks.
“Hope, look at me.”
She refused.
“Seriously, look at me.” I removed my hands from hers to avoid letting her feel how I’d begun to tremble. This wasn’t something that I would have expected. We’d gotten carried away with our new life to even think that we’d overlooked something so important. She was blaming herself, but I was equally at fault. This didn’t just fall on Hope and her carelessness.
“I can’t. I don’t want to see how upset you’ll be.” She began to sob. “I’m so sorry, Chance. I know you don’t need this on your plate right now. After everything you’ve went through to get back into my dad’s good graces, this is going to screw it all up.”
“Would you shut up for a minute and let me talk?”
She wiped her eyes and nodded.
“I love you. No matter what happens, that’s not going to change. Stop putting the burden all on yourself. I don’t give a shit what Mark thinks. We’re adults. We can deal with our own problems.”
“So it’s a problem?” She implied.
“No!” I shook my head. “I’m not saying that. You’re putting words in my mouth.”
“You’re the one who said it.”
I ran my hands through my hair, reminding myself that I was in desperate need of a shower. “Jesus, would you stop freaking out for a second? I’m trying here, but you’re not making it easy.”
“None of this is easy,” she cried.
I slid off the couch, crouching down in front of her. My hands found her thighs and I kept them there, trying desperately to find the right words. “It’s easy, because it’s us, Hope.”
Slowly, she lifted her gaze until our eyes met. A smile formed out of the corner of her lips. “I don’t know what to do.”
I looked around the room. “You’re right. This place probably won’t be big enough, so we’re going to need at least a two bedroom apartment. I don’t see us being able to get out of our lease, but by the time the baby’s born we can start looking. I mean, at first they’ll sleep in our room, but -.”
She leaned forward and put her fingers over my mouth to prevent me from speaking. I watched more tears trickle down her cheeks. “You’re not mad?”
Mad? How could I be mad? “A year ago I thought I had no future. Look at me now. I’m playing ball again. I’m back in school, and I have the most beautiful woman by my side. The fact that you’re carrying my child would not make me mad. Hope, it’s not going to be easy, and I’m certainly going to be traveling a lot, at least until the season is over, but it’s temporary. It’s only a few months out of the year. I’ll be home with you when the baby is born, and we’ll figure things out.”
Hope interrupted, “Saying it out loud makes it real.”
I wiped the wetness on her cheeks away with my thumbs. “So it’s true?” I think I needed her to confirm, even though I already knew the answer.
“Yes. I’m pregnant. I forgot to take my pills. In fact, I forgot to refill them. It’s just that I’d needed to switch pharmacy’s and it seriously slipped my mind.”
I smiled, even though I was unsure how I felt about everything. “I’m not angry with you, Hope. We’ve been busy. I haven’t asked you about it either. You’re dad’s going to be pissed, but he’ll get over it. There’s nothing he can do anyway.”
“What if I can’t stay in school? What will we do about money?”
“For now, I’ll use my savings. After baseball ends I’ll get a job and we’ll save every penny. If I can’t finish my senior year after the baby comes it will be there waiting for me.”
“Are you sure you want this? There are other options.” She looked down, as if she was ashamed to talk about it.
“That’s not happening. If we need to move back into the pool house to save money we will. For now let’s just focus on school. We’ll get you in to see a doctor, and go from there.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
“We’ll figure this out, Hope. I promise.” I wasn’t so much worried about the baby, as much as I was afraid to tell her that we might have to live apart. It wasn’t going to go over well, and with this new surprise coming into play, I needed to make some serious decisions. Our futures were about to change again, but this time I’d be able to accept it.
He promised we’d be okay, but I wasn’t too sure. Chance was living his dream again. This pregnancy could end that for the second time. It petrified me.
We tried not to talk much about it due to the fact that he was playing in his opening
game. My father and Buffy had made the drive to watch him. After meeting up with them we headed into the stadium and found our seats.
The early spring weather was crisp. I stuck my hands into Chance’s new WVA hoodie to keep warm. Chance was playing catch with a teammate, but stopped to wave at me when our eyes met. I threw him a smile back, feeling like I was the luckiest girl in the world.
Then I got my first taste of what it was like to be the girlfriend of a college baseball player.
A slew of girls, all looking to be my age, filling in the lower bleachers. They certainly weren’t wearing ball caps and planning on cheering because they loved the sport. Chance followed his teammates over to the side as they mingled with this group. I felt bile rising to my throat, even when he backed away, and ignored the catcalls.
It was difficult, even with him winking at me, and waving. I knew I couldn’t always be at the games, and soon I’d be fat. I worried that he’d be tempted by another, and I’d end up alone.
I suppose my hormones were making me think the worst. In my defense my last boyfriend had cheated, so it was all I knew. Chance’s faithfulness to me was reassuring, but one could only take so much before they broke down. There would be nights when he was on the road, and they’d tempt him.
I recalled him telling me about them before. I think I just never realized how obvious they were.
Aside from my ill feelings, Chance played a great game. He struck out once, but ended up hitting three RBI’s. His fielding was impeccable, and I understood why the scouts wanted him on their team. He was beneficial in his position, and proved to be a solid addition.
After the game we went out to celebrate. I kept my cool around my father, worrying about the pregnancy, and now Chance’s fan base. It wasn’t until we went home that I revealed my concerns. We’d both showered and climbed into our bed. Chance was still hyped from the game, and I could feel his excitement radiating off of him. He nudged me with his lips, before pulling me on top of him. “We should celebrate, baby.”
I straddled him, letting my fingers tickle his rock-hard chest. “I need to talk to you about something first, and you’re going to be pissed at me.”
“Don’t worry about those women. They’re pathetic, and I’m so over that. You’ve got nothing to be concerned about. I’m not on the lookout for a quick fuck.”
Just hearing him reiterate his previous statement made me calm down. I let my head fall down over him. “I hated seeing them.”
“Hope, what can any of them offer me that I don’t already have? I get that college is new to you, but it’s just school for me. I’ve hooked up with girls like that a couple times my freshman year, before I got a girlfriend. They’re looking for one thing, and I wasn’t falling for it. Compared to you, they’re nothing.”
“What about when I gain a thousand pounds?”
He began laughing. “A thousand? Damn, that’s a good question. I don’t think you’d be able to move around with a thousand pound baby inside of you.”
I lightly smacked his chest. “Be serious. You know what I meant.”
“I’ll still want you, Hope. I’ll always want you. Don’t you get that by now? I defied your father, and have done nothing but prove my faithfulness. I love the game, but not all that comes with it. I know it’s going to be hard for you at first, but you’ll get used to it. I’ll make you see that you have nothing to worry about. I promise. I have the only cheerleader I need right here with me.”
“I’m sorry. I know you want to celebrate. I’m being a downer.” I felt terrible about bringing it up, even though he didn’t act annoyed.
“No biggie. So where were we?”
I reached down inside of his boxers and took him into my hand. “I think we were right here.”
Chance leaned forward and sucked my bottom lip in between his. Our kissing intensified, and I soon forgot all about the sleazy broads at his game. Chance was mine, and he wasn’t going anywhere. I was carrying his child, and soon everyone would know it. Although I’d never get pregnant to trap him into being with me, it did give me some comfort knowing how devoted he was to our baby and me.
We’d come so far, and had a lot to look forward to. I was scared, which could be expected, but knew we’d figure out a way to make it work. If I had to babysit children, or take online classes while caring for my own child, I’d do it. Our first years were going to be a struggle, albeit I wasn’t going to give up. I’d found love, forgiveness, and a reason to want to strive to be better. That was enough to put a smile on my face, and ease my soul.
Chance pulled away from me and began cackling. “I just realized something.”
“What?” His excitement alarmed me.
“We don’t have to talk about baby names.”
“This is random. What do you mean?”
“If it’s a girl it’s Faith. If it’s a boy it’s -.”
I hushed him. “Don’t even say it. We are not naming our kid Lucky.”
He pulled me in for a kiss, in which I fought him. It made him more determined to get under my skin. “Little Lucky will be born with a golden glove on his hand. I bet his first word will be ball, and then daddy.”
“You’re ridiculous. It’s not happening.”
He nodded. “It is. You just wait.”
I appreciated his banter, especially considering the way I’d been worried. This was the man I loved, and he was all mine.
The End
Hope and Chance have a lot going on. Look for a novella in 2015 featuring more from the couple.
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Jennifer Foor lives on the Eastern Shore of Maryland with her husband and two children. She enjoys shooting pool, camping and catching up on cliché movies that were made in the eighties.
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