by Kendall Ryan
“How many do you want?” I asked, still giddy and drunk on this conversation, and not wanting it to end.
He kissed me again, pulling back slowly. “I don’t know. Three? Four?”
I barked out a laugh. “Whoa, overachiever. Let’s start with one and go from there.”
“Okay,” he said, agreeing a little reluctantly.
Bringing my lips to his, I murmured, “You don’t know how happy you’ve made me.”
“I love you,” he said softly, his lips still against mine.
“A million billion,” I finished for him.
And then he swept me off my feet, carrying me toward his office down the hall where I imagined we’d do very naughty things.
Epilogue II
Cooper
My phone buzzed, and against my better judgment, I glanced down at the screen. It was Quinn. It was always Quinn these days.
Gavin never bothered contacting me anymore. Not that I could blame him. The rift between us had grown into something so vast and unmanageable, I didn’t know how we’d ever climb our way out.
I didn’t bother replying to my brother’s message, because honestly? I didn’t have an answer to his question. I didn’t know when I was going home. Being surrounded by palm trees and ocean breezes suited me just fine right now. And the girls with their sun-kissed shoulders and bikini lines were working overtime to keep me distracted.
Boston would always be my home, and my business was there. While I knew I’d have to return eventually, I wasn’t in any rush.
“Who was that?” the blonde crouched between my thighs asked.
“Did I tell you to stop?” I frowned down at her.
She bit her lip, watching me through heavily made-up eyes.
“Suck my cock. Make me come.” Those were the words I said, but the words I meant were make me forget.
The naked blonde kneeling in front me went back to work, tasting the broad head of my cock before drawing it deeper into her mouth.
“That’s it, princess.”
I called every girl princess now. The word stung the first few times leaving my lips, which was all the more reason to use it. The need to work Emma out from under my skin was immense. And what better way to cast her memory away than to pretend she never existed. She wasn’t my princess, and neither were any of the others.
And I was no prince—I was just a lonely bachelor who used to believe in love.
But these days, I was done being the nice guy. It hadn’t gotten me anywhere. And women, it turned out, wanted the asshole. My experiment with Gavin had proven that. And no, I wasn’t going to pretend to be an asshole simply because I was willing to play the part.
Sweet little Emma Bell had actually turned me into one.
She had broken me.
I hated to admit defeat, but Emma fucking Bell—excuse me, Emma Kingsley now—had turned me into a shell of the man I once was.
It was my own fault. I’d known from the beginning that I was playing with fire, knew she’d be perfect for my brother and had done my best to push them together. And the thing was, I was actually happy for the motherfucker. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell to see them together.
Now it was my rules, my way.
“Is this how you like it?” the blonde asked, seeming to sense my distant thoughts.
I tilted my head back, closing my eyes. “Deeper.”
Losing myself in the pleasure, in the wet, lapping heat of her tongue, I tried to push everything else from my brain. I had no plans to return home, no plans to do anything other than this—get drunk and take home a different woman, night after night. This would be my life. No, it wouldn’t be rich, or deep, or all that fulfilling, but it was what I had. What I deserved now.
My phone rang again, this time with Gavin’s name, and my stomach clenched. Fucking Gavin. What could he possibly want?
The realization that I’d be heading back to Boston much sooner than anticipated settled over me like a dark cloud, and I steeled myself for what was to come.
Up Next in the Forbidden Desires Series
Torrid Little Affair
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. And I have the perfect candidate all picked out.
My new assistant is tempting beyond belief with her curvy body and take-no-shit attitude. All those luscious curves, and a juicy ass I’m already in love with. God, the things that I would do to that ass…
But it’s the haunted look in her eyes that speaks to me. Like she’s taken just as much shit in her past as I have—maybe more. We both deserve a little fun.
Love can’t fix everything. Mind-blowing sex and a few killer orgasms, on the other hand?
I have a feeling those might do the trick.
This is book three in the Forbidden Desires series, and while it can be read as a standalone, it’s recommended you start with Dirty Little Secret.
Chapter One
Cooper
Six months.
Six months was all it took for me to completely lose my shit. I gave it my best, but it turned out all the one-night stands and hangovers in the world couldn’t erase the sting of heartbreak and rejection. My brother Gavin had gotten the girl, while I’d retreated alone to the one place that had always felt like home.
While my grandparents were still alive and in my life, they had owned a condo in Florida, it was little more than a cheap apartment complex with a bunch of gray-haired retirees, but once a year when my mom dropped us off there during spring break, something about the salty ocean air and swaying palm trees felt like heaven. Like I could escape my lonely little world and all my problems while I was there.
Which was why, when I fled Boston, I’d gone to the beach house I now owned on Sanibel Island. The two-bedroom cottage felt more like home than my four-thousand square foot luxury apartment in the city. Mostly though, I just wasn’t ready to see Gavin and Emma yet. Wasn’t ready to face seeing them as a couple and pretend to be happy for them. Fuck that.
So I’d spent my time licking my wounds and hitting the gym. Dinner was at my favorite local beach bar, and there was usually a different tourist to take home each night. It wasn’t fulfilling, but it distracted me—at least somewhat—from the heartbreak that threatened to make an appearance every time I thought of my brother with Emma.
What still killed me was that I'd let her see how much she meant to me. I'd shown her vulnerability, asked her to choose me, and still she hadn't. That was the most crushing blow.
And this mistake wouldn't be solved by hate-fucking Emma out of my system. No, I was going to have to live with the festering wound of seeing her on my brother's arm. Live with the knowledge that she'd chosen him and not me. It was the one mistake that couldn’t be fixed in my life—there was no easy solution, no forgetting it and moving on. And that stung like a mother fucker.
Second place was first loser. And I knew that better than anyone.
I was just about to jump in the shower after a day spent surfing when my phone rang. It was my oldest brother, Quinn. Shutting off the water, I grabbed my cell from the counter.
“Hello?”
“Wow. He picks up.” The surprise in Quinn’s voice was annoying. Accurate—because I rarely answered my phone—but annoying.
“What’s up, man?” I tried to keep the annoyance out of my voice.
“It’s time you came home.”
I rolled my eyes. We’d had this conversation at least a dozen times. “And why would I do that?”
“To be blunt?” Quinn said. “Because we’re going to remove you from the payroll and kick out of the company, if you don’t get your ass back to Boston.”
That had my full attention. I could only imagine Gavin pushing for my termination. The prick.
Quinn continued, “I hired someone for you. It’ll be just what you need-to throw yourself back into work, and I think you’ll find Corinne is a huge asset.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I can come back.”
; “Glad to hear it.” I could hear the smile in Quinn’s voice.
“But I’m not flying commercial. Send the jet.”
Quinn released a long sigh. “Christ. When did you become so demanding?”
I didn’t answer. Getting fucked over would do that to a guy. From here on out, I would call the shots—things would be done according to my terms, or not at all. “See you soon, brother.”
Stripping off my wet swim shorts, I cranked the shower faucet to hot and tried to pretend that things would be fine once I got back to Boston.
They had to be, right?
Chapter Two
Corinne
“Why aren’t you dating anyone yet?” Mauve asked, adjusting the oxygen tubes that rested just below her nostrils.
We’d had this conversation too many times, and it always ended the same way—with me feeling angry at her for prying, and then later guilt over getting mad at an old, sick woman who I knew meant well. It was a ridiculous cycle I hoped to one day break. “You know I can’t do that.”
“The hell you can’t,” she scoffed.
I rolled my eyes, and stood to help her adjust the knob on the side of her oxygen tank. Mauve was the closest thing I had to a mother, and while I loved her to pieces, when she pried into my personal life, part of me wanted to strangle her with those oxygen tubes.
Mauve pursed her lips, waiting for me to continue the same conversation we’d had a thousand times. But nothing would ever change my mind, could ever, so I flipped open her book to the dog-eared page and took a deep breath. “Where were we? Gideon was just about to propose, right?” I wouldn’t ever experience the kind of romantic love I read about in these pages, and that was just fine by me. It was best left for fiction, and I did love a good romance.
“Wait.” Mauve motioned for me to stop. “Aren’t you going to give me anything, then?”
Since I couldn’t deny an old lady her only source of weekly gossip, I lowered the book to my lap. “I started a new job last week.”
Mauve smiled, her blue crinkling in the corners. “Thank goodness. Tell me all about it.”
Ever since the state lost funding for the inner-city orphanage that I worked at, I’d spent the last two months unemployed and barely scraping by. This new job had been a huge blessing. But there was no way in hell I could tell Mauve that I now worked at an escort agency, even if I was just the office employee who coordinated schedules and maintained the website.
“I’m a coordinator and sit behind a computer all day—nothing too exciting, but it will pay the bills nicely, and better yet, it came with excellent benefits and health insurance.” That last part was critical to me and why I’d been so picky when job-hunting.
“I’m proud of you, kiddo.”
I smiled at her, and the silly nick-name she’d given me when I came to live under her care at the age of twelve. Even if she was a pain in my rear-end sometimes, she was one of the few people I cared about on this earth.
“Thanks, Mauve. This week was just onboarding and overviews. I shadowed one of the women who’s worked there a while, but my new boss will be back on Monday, so I’m sure things will get more exciting then.”
I had no idea how very true that statement was about to become.
My life was simple—and simple was good. But Mauve was right—it wasn’t great. And sometimes, even I had to admit, there was something missing.
Chapter Three
Cooper
After spending one last weekend on the sunny Florida coast, I’d arrived back in Boston last night and spent a restful night back in my old bed. Even though I really hadn’t been ready to come home yet, it seemed that at least so far, it was going okay. I was surprised to discover that I’d missed the smallest things—like my old espresso machine and my steam shower and my cleaning lady. My penthouse has been kept immaculate and for that I was grateful.
Strolling into the office on Monday morning, I waved a greeting at the receptionist and found my brothers standing inside the open area as if they were waiting for my arrival.
Quinn, my oldest brother, pulled me into a hug, clapping me loudly on the back. “He lives and breathes.”
I shoved him away playfully. “I’m here.”
“You’re fucking tan. Look at you.” Quinn grinned at me.
I rolled my eyes, my gaze finally setting on my other brother, Gavin. He was four years older than me, closer in age than Quinn, but we felt a million years apart. Ever since Emma, his now wife, had strolled into these offices last year—it had turned our worlds upside down. I knew they’d be perfect together and so like the good younger brother I was, I’d pushed them together. Gavin had been reluctant, not wanting to get into another relationship after his last girlfriend died tragically. So I’d done the only thing I could think to do to spur him into action—I’d taken her out myself, pretended I was interested in the pretty little librarian. But after a while—I wasn’t pretending. She won me over, and I fell hard and fast. But in the end? She’d chosen the man standing before me.
“We missed you around here,” Gavin said, surprising me. His embrace was quick, really just a half-hug and a thump on the back, but it was a warm and unexpected surprise.
“There’s a peace offering waiting for you in your office.” Quinn shot me a lopsided grin.
“Thanks man.” I shook Quinn’s hand again and wandered to the coffee machine where a fresh pot was already brewing. A waited a moment for it to stop, then poured myself a mugful.
It felt good to be back, better than I would have thought. The familiar scent of coffee in the air, and the taping of fingers against keyboards in the background. It was structured and orderly, and I decided that might just be a good thing. My nights spent chasing a bottle of bourbon, the marathons of meaningless sex, and days spent nursing a hangover couldn’t go on forever. Not that my cock minded much, but my liver? That was another story. I wasn’t even thirty yet, but a lot of days, I felt sluggish and tired.
Pushing those thoughts away, I rounded the corner to my office with its glass wall of windows overlooking downtown skyline, and sleek glass and chrome desk—it felt comforting, familiar—but the view wasn’t what had captured my attention.
True to his word, it appeared that Quinn had gotten me a welcome gift.
A young woman sat perched in the chair in front of my desk, her hands neatly folded in her lap. Honey-blonde hair rested just below her shoulders. Her breasts were full and round, and she was dressed in a black pencil skirt and a pale pink silk blouse.
I might still be bitter about how the last many months had played out, but I wasn’t too far gone to take a bite of this apple. I was still a man, after all.
I cleared my throat, causing her head to snap in my direction.
She turned in my direction. “Hello, Mr. Kingsley.”
She had wide blue eyes and a full, pouty mouth, and she was still stating at me, waiting for a response.
“It’s Cooper. And you are?”
A distraction.
My new little fuck toy.
She rose to her feet, standing before me in a pair of four-inch heels that did nothing to even out our massive height difference. “I’m Corinne O’Neil. Your brothers hired me, they thought…”
“I know what they thought. They thought I needed a good, hard fuck. They sent you in to do the job. Is that it?”
I ran my thumb along the side of her cheek as Corinne shuddered and let out a gasp.
She staggered back a step, bracing her hands against the desk behind her. “Sir?”
I cocked my head, studying her in amusement. “You are the new girl, correct? The one they hired just for me?”
“Yes, but…”
“But what?” I closed the distance between us, stroking her cheek again, appreciating how soft it felt and how warm and pink it grew under my appraisal. “Instead of dropping to your knees to take my cock in your mouth, you’re going to act all shy and embarrassed? Save me. There’s no need for games. Not with the amount we’re
paying you.”
Twin blotches of color appeared high in her cheeks.
“Get on with it,” I barked, tugging open my belt.
Corinne burst into tears and fled from my office.
What the fuck?
Latching my belt, I gave chase.
But when she disappeared into the ladies’ room, I stopped, breathing hard and fists clenched at my sides.
After waiting a few moments, Corinne didn’t emerge, and I stalked over toward Alyssa’s desk. She was Gavin’s executive assistant and was someone who could be relied upon. Even for something delicate like this.
“Did you need something?” she asked when I stopped in front of her desk.
“Actually, yeah.” I paused, rubbing the back of my neck. “I think I fucked up. The new girl? Corinne? I’m petty sure she’s in the bathroom crying because of me right now.”
Alyssa frowned.
“Don’t let her leave, okay? Not until I apologize.”
“Okay.” She rose from her chair, grabbing a box of tissues from the edge of her desk and headed toward the restrooms.
As thankful as I was that she hadn’t asked what I’d done to make Corinne cry—I knew I needed to out myself—to at least one person.
“Hey, what’s up?” Quinn asked as I stopped in front of his desk.
I slid into the seat in front of him, feeling like my work day had gone on a lot longer than fifteen minutes. Jesus, was that all it had been since I’d arrived in the lobby, feeling so hopeful about my future?
I was a hot fucking mess.
“So … about the gift you left in my office?”
He stopped typing and looked up at me. “Yes?”
I swallowed a heavy lump in my throat. “She was for?”
His heavy brows creased. “She’s meant to be your new assistant. She’s more than qualified. And if she does well, my hope is that she can take over the office manager position. She’s been training for the past week with Alyssa, and has caught on very quickly.”