by TM Frazier
“I thought you just said he was a good guy?”
“Good guys,” he wagged his pointer finger, “those are the worst kind of punks.”
“Let me ask you something, Critter,” I started, arranging napkins into the little plastic holders clipped to the inner edge of the bar. “Do you think people can change?”
Critter paused and licked at the corner of his mustache. “Well, I think people can do just about anything they damn well want, including change. My mama used to tell me that we’ve all got the devil in us, some just got it buried deeper, while others take direction from it. If that helps any.”
I looked up at the tings on the ceiling. Every time the front door opened they danced and twirled together. “I don’t know if it does just yet.”
“You’re something else, kid,” Critter leaned in and whispered, “and you can quote me on that.”
The door opened again, the tings clapped together as Josh and Miller burst through the front door, squawking at one another like seagulls on the beach fighting over breadcrumbs.
“It’s not polite to eavesdrop,” Critter nudged me on the shoulder.
“Eavesdropping would mean that it would take some effort on my part to get closer so I could listen in.” I pointed to Josh and Miller who’d been talking and arguing back and forth LOUDLY for hours.
“That’s what I told you the first time,” Miller groaned.
“That is not what you said,” Josh waved her finger in his face.
I smiled up at Critter. “I don’t think it’s eavesdropping if they’re talking loud enough that I can hear them from all the way over here.”
“Noted,” Critter replied with a laugh and a tip of his chin.
“Josh, baby, when are you going to get that pretty head out of Vaginaville and let me introduce you to Cocktown again?” Miller asked, at a volume slightly above the guitar player in the corner.
“I dated one girl. ONE. And it was six years ago. You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?” Josh jabbed a finger into Miller’s chest.
“No, and I hope I never forget it either. Actually, I think about it all the time.” Miller closed his eyes. “In fact, I’m thinking about the two of you together right now.”
Josh smacked him with her menu.
Miller didn’t seem to notice. He was too busy staring at her chest.
“And I believe it was your introduction to Cocktown,” she glanced down toward his crotch and scrunched up her face in disgust, “that turned me off of men to begin with.”
Miller stuck his bottom lip out in a pout but rebounded quickly. “Best two out of three?”
“By the way, how’s your mom, Miller?” Josh asked, slyly, pausing to take a slow sip of her beer. “She still wiping your ass for you?”
Miller held his hand over his heart. “That really hurts, Josh. First of all, you know that my mom is a lovely lady who makes amazing pot roast. It’s not my fault she needs me to live with her so I can taste test it for her. It’s a rough job, but I’m willing to make that sacrifice.”
“Speaking of jobs,” Josh said, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t you have to be at yours?”
It was Miller’s turn to roll his eyes. “No one was speaking of jobs, Josh. No one. And just because I refuse to conform to modern day slavery hours, doesn’t make me any less of a person.” He smiled. “However, upon your visit to Cocktown, all of your racist ways will be forgiven.”
“Sure, I’ll visit Cocktown.” She winked at Miller whose mouth dropped open. “Just not yours.”
“That hurts, Josh. It hurts a lot.”
“I’m going to the ladies,” Josh announced, sliding off her stool. “Don’t follow me.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Miller shouted after her.
“Guess that didn’t go so well,” I commented, replacing his empty beer with a fresh one.
Miller frowned. “Huh? Why would you say that?”
“Never mind.” I left Miller to live in his own alternate reality while I restocked the napkins.
“Sawyer!” Sterling called over with a bright smile. “When do you get off?” He was standing at the end of the bar with a piece of paper from the ting bucket in hand.
“In about ten minutes,” I answered.
“Want to take that walk with me?”
I thought it over for a moment before answering. “Sure, just let me finish up and I’ll meet you out front.”
Sterling smiled and scribbled something down on the paper before hanging it next to the one he’d hung on the day he declared us friends.
Taking a walk with a beautiful girl.
-Sterling
“He’s so hot,” Kayla said, waving with her fingers at Sterling.
“I could eat him for breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” Maya joined in, biting at the air and growling. When he waved back the two girls giggled and whispered between them. Sterling winked at me.
I should’ve been excited. Or at the very least as excited as the girls were to get a little wave from Sterling.
Suddenly I needed some air. I gathered the trash from the bar as an excuse to go outside.
I pushed open the back door and had only gotten a few steps when footsteps sounded behind me.
“Do you even realize how fucking beautiful you are?”
I slowly turned around to find Finn standing by the back door, leaning against the doorframe, holding a small brown-paper-wrapped package in the crook of his arm. He stubbed out a cigarette on the bottom of his boot.
My palms began to sweat. My skin tingled. Everything inside me came alive. Panic. Fear. Anticipation.
LUST.
I tossed another bag into the dumpster and turned back around to face him. “I came by to see you. To say thank you. You weren’t there.”
“I left town for a while. Had to tie up some loose ends.” Finn raked his gaze up and down my body. “I never got a chance to tell you. I like the boots.”
My heart raced. His words were like a stroke of his strong fingers between my legs.
“I brought something for you,” he said, meeting me in the middle of the alley between the dumpster and the back door of Critter’s.
“You don’t need to bring me anything.” I tried to pass him to get through the door but he stopped me. “You don’t owe me anything, Finn. You can go back to hiding in the woods. It’s obvious you don’t want to be my friend so let’s not force it. We don’t have to be friends.”
“I don’t want to be your friend,” he said, taking a step forward.
“Then why are you here?”
“I missed you,” he said, gazing deeply into my eyes. I tried to look away but Finn grabbed my chin and turned my head back so I was facing him.
“Then why did you leave?” I asked, unable to hide the hurt in my voice. “After everything. I woke up and you were just gone.”
Finn searched my face like he was searching for answers he didn’t have. “I’ve never met anyone like you. I’ve never even seen anyone like you. These freckles,” he ran the pad of his thumb underneath my eyes. “This mouth,” he did the same over my lower lip, brushing his own lips over mine slowly and gently until I found myself shifting under all the sensations swarming inside of me. “You make me want things, Say. Crave things. Things I haven’t thought about in a long time.”
Say? I wanted to hate the nickname. I wanted to tell him that it was stupid and to never say it again, but I couldn’t. I repeated it again over and over in my head using his voice and I couldn’t help it.
I loved it.
My body hummed. It was getting harder and harder to appear unaffected. “Crave? You make me sound like a meal.”
“That would make sense.” Finn pushed his fingers up into my hair and pulled just enough for my scalp to sting. “Because my mouth is watering to taste you,” he pressed his lips against mine and this time there was no storm to blame or anything else he needed to distract me from. “I want you, Say. So fucking much. More than I’ve ever wanted any
thing or anyone before.” He took a deep breath like he was breathing me in. “You terrify me.”
I felt warm all over.
“Well, I did bite you,” I said. Finn smiled. Feeling brave, I reached up and touched the corner of his mouth where I’d made him bleed. There was no evidence of the injury but it was as if I could still see it there.
Finn growled and tugged me against him, lowering his lips to mine, parting them with his tongue. When our tongues touched I shuddered. I raised up on my tip toes and wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening our kiss. Our connection. Needing to be closer.
“I have no idea what I’m doing,” I breathed as his lips left mine and trailed down my neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
Finn grinned against my tingling skin. “Neither do I.” His words send a rush straight between my legs. He continued to kiss and lick his way around my neck and ear, palming my breast through my t-shirt with his big hand.
A nervous excitement took over. I trembled with fear and anticipation.
“Fuck, you’re perfect,” Finn groaned, rocking against me. His hand fell from my hair and wrapped around my waist, trailing down to knead my butt cheek through my shorts and then lower, reaching up into my shorts and taking another handful. I moaned at the contact. His skin against mine.
I wanted more.
I rocked against him to try and ease the ache growing in my lower belly.
He gripped me hard, holding me still. “Don’t do that,” he warned with a groan. “It feels too fucking good for you to be doing that.” He playfully pushed against me until I staggered back and connected with the corner. He followed me and caged me in with his hands next to my head on the wall. My breathing was erratic. Finn’s pupils were dilated as he reached down and popped the top button of my shorts. “Tell me you want me, Say.”
The back door swung open. “You need a hand?” Critter called out.
Finn released me.
“No, I got it,” I said, breathlessly.
I turned back around to where Finn was just standing, but he was already gone.
I was righting my apron just as Critter stepped outside.
“You sure? You sound a little winded, kid,” he asked, eyeing me skeptically.
“I’m sure,” I reassured him. “The bags were just heavier than I thought.”
I ducked under Critter’s arm and when I came face to face with a picture of a younger looking Finn with his arm around a beautiful blonde hanging in the back hallway I paused. “Who is this with Finn?” I asked.
“That’s Jackie,” Critter said. “Unfortunately, she’s no longer with us.”
“What happened to her?”
“How did I know you were going to ask that?” Critter teased. “Not my…”
I finished his sentence for him, “story to tell. I know.”
I leaned in closer to get a better look at the picture. Finn was smiling from ear to ear. I’d never seen him smile like that before.
“The lord’s lady,” I whispered to myself.
“What was that?” Critter asked.
“Nothing.” I grabbed two more bags and hauled them back outside.
Maybe it was for the best that Critter had interrupted us because I was just about to tell Finn that I wanted him too.
But when I saw the picture of him and Jackie, reality washed me over the head like a bucket of cold water.
I didn’t know the details, but it was stupid to give myself over to Finn when he clearly had already given himself to someone else. Someone who even in death still had a hold over him he couldn’t shake.
I grabbed another set of trash bags and went out back, hoisting them into the dumpster. When I turned around, I noticed the package Finn had been carrying was sitting on top of a metal trash can by the door.
In my fumbled attempt to pick it up, I dropped it on the ground. I knelt down and tore a strip of the brown wrapping off, revealing a book.
The title was only partially visible, but I didn’t need to see the entire thing to know exactly what it said.
I ripped the rest of the packaging off and ran my fingers over the cover. Each raised letter I felt was somehow making it harder and harder to breathe.
When I got to the end, I read the title out loud to myself.
“The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sawyer
“Finn called me last night,” Josh announced, handing me a big mug of coffee with a cartoon policeman on the side peeing off the top of a bridge.
It was seven in the morning. After my shift, I’d told Sterling I’d walk with him another time and took Josh up on her offer to drive me back to her place.
“He did?” I asked, perking up at the sound of his name.
“He called me to ask about you. He wanted to make sure you were staying with me and that you were okay.”
“And what did you tell him?” I asked, looking into my mug.
“I told him you were fine.” Josh set down her mug and put a hand on her hip. “What’s going on with you two?”
“What do you mean?” I took a sip of coffee and immediately spit the thick bitter mud back into the mug when Josh turned her back.
“I mean you two, as in Finn and Sawyer. That man hasn’t called me in two years. TWO FUCKING YEARS. And I was his best friend. Then you roll into town and suddenly he remembers my number?” Josh shook her head. “Something about this don’t add up.”
“Maybe he just wanted to make sure I didn’t plan on staying at his place again,” I offered, knowing that wasn’t the case.
“Nooo,” Josh sang, cocking her head to the side. She tossed me a pastry. Some sort of donut wrapped in sugar and cinnamon. “I don’t think that was it.”
All thoughts of Finn were momentarily smashed from my mind. “Holy hell that’s good,” I said with a mouth full of pastry deliciousness.
“Ha,” Josh laughed. “I like it when you swear.”
That’s exactly what Finn had said.
“Let me ask you this.” Josh leaned on her elbows against the counter. Her fluffy pink robe opening at the neck to expose a t-shirt that read MILLER SUCKS. “I know for a fact that the swamp shack only has one bedroom and one bed. After Miller checked on you the other night, where did Finn sleep?”
“On the couch,” I replied, the lie getting stuck on my tongue on the way out. Since I was terrible at lying, I switched to avoidance. I lifted my bag and started rummaging around with the contents like I was looking for something.
“Uh huh,” Josh said. “Sure, he did.”
“So, not to change the subject,” I started.
“But changing the subject,” Josh interrupted.
“What’s the deal with you and Miller?” I pointed to her shirt.
Josh tightened her robe. “I told you. He’s just Miller…” she poured herself another cup of mud-coffee.
“That doesn’t exactly answer the question.”
“Neither does your liiiieeee,” Josh sang. She looked me dead in the eye and we both burst out laughing until tears pooled in her eyes and my ribs ached and cheeks burned.
For the first time in my life, I’d laughed until it hurt.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Sawyer
It was only eight and my shift didn’t start until noon. When I left Josh’s I decided that a walk around my new town was in order. I’d been an Outskirts resident for a while and had barely gone anywhere besides work and home.
And home was no longer an option.
I ignored the pain in my gut. I didn’t want to spend the morning dwelling on what no longer was but on the possibilities the day might bring.
When I came across a junkyard I was about to pass right by it, not giving it too much thought, when something caught my eye. I pushed open the metal gate which had a sign on it that read LET YOURSELF IN. I passed a mound of tires and rows upon rows of kitchen sinks, making a beeline right for my target on the far side of the yard. When I reached
it, I sighed and butterflies danced in my stomach.
It was even prettier in person.
It was a house. And not just ANY house.
It was the house.
The one from the billboard in town. Same white siding, blue shutters, and grey shingles. The biggest difference was that the one in front of me was split in half right down the center. The right half sat lopsided on the ground and contained the red front door. The left half remained upright, leaning against a rusted tanker truck. A flimsy sheet of plastic was stapled over the contents, but it was torn just enough so I could see inside.
“The door was unlocked,” a deep and very familiar voice said. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as the words licked across my skin like a cool breeze.
“What door?”
Finn stepped up so close behind me I could feel the heat radiating from his chest to my back and I resisted the temptation to lean back into him.
“My front door,” he said. “I left it open for you last night.” His breath tickled my neck. “You weren’t there when I got home.”
“Should I have been?”
“Yes.”
I felt heated in a way that even the ninety-degree weather couldn’t make me feel. “I’ve been staying at Josh’s.”
“So I heard.” Finn stepped beside me and I got a good glimpse of his tight white t-shirt over his muscles. The stubble on his jaw made me remember how it felt against my skin when he kissed me. My neck. He glanced over and caught me staring. “You like what you see?”
“Yes,” my answer was immediate.
Finn chuckled and placed his hand on my head, turning me back to face the house, the entire reason why I was even in the junkyard, to begin with. I mentally prepared myself for some sort of snarky comment or for him to say something to make me feel more embarrassed than I already was, but luckily, it never came. “It’s not very big,” he said instead, taking in the house.
“Neither am I.” I sighed with relief. “It’s perfect.”