by Sara Orwig
In spite of his protests, how much were she and the girls disturbing his solitary life? She suspected a great deal. If not tonight, by this time tomorrow they probably would be. She guessed he was still caught up in the miracle of birth that seemed to awe him today.
I like women, Vivian. She recalled his sensual tone when he answered, a tone that was both sexy and amused and she was certain he not only liked women, but women liked him.
And if what she had learned about him today was an indication of his character—and it had to be because he had acted in stress without thinking about it—then it was a shame for him to decide he should never marry.
She laughed at herself. Stop worrying about the man, she told herself. He got along fine before she had come along and he would get along fine as soon as she was gone. Probably better than now with her disrupting his life.
“Sweetie, I need to hold Julia for a little while and feed her,” she said to Mary Catherine.
“I’m hungry.”
“Scoot over on that chair.” As Mary Catherine moved, Vivian replenished her plate and set it in front of the child. “I’ll butter bread for you in a minute.”
“I can do it,” Mary Catherine said. “Are we going to sleep here?”
“Yes, we are,” Vivian answered, glancing at Mary Catherine and wondering if that worried her and if Matt White-wolf frightened her badly. Until the divorce she had grown increasingly frightened of Baker and had withdrawn into a shell around men, and Vivian knew she was scared of Matt.
“We need to stay while I get the car fixed,” Vivian said gently, settling the hungry baby in her arms. “Mr. White-wolf is nice.”
Mary Catherine didn’t answer but ate quietly, and Vivian hurt for her, hoping she outgrew her fears and the shyness that came over her around others.
By the time Matt returned to the house, dark had fallen. Julia was asleep in the big bed with Mary Catherine curled up asleep beside her. When she heard Matt coming down the hall, Vivian was propped up in bed reading a book she had packed to bring along. She closed the book and placed it on the bed as he knocked at the open door.
“Come in. The girls are asleep.”
“I don’t want to wake them.”
“I don’t think there is a remote possibility. Mary Catherine is a sound sleeper, and so far Julia seems to be.”
“I need to get my things.”
“You know how I feel about that.”
He crossed the room to the closet and disappeared inside it, stepping out with an armload of clothing that he dumped on a chair.
“This is absurd,” she said, swinging her feet out of bed. He crossed the room to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and leaning down. Her heart skipped a beat at his touch and as she looked into his dark eyes, her pulse accelerated.
“Lady, I thought we had this settled. Let me do the moving. I want to. You stay in here.”
“Yes, Captain.” she said, finally able to let go of her anger at his imperious manner. Amusement flickered in his eyes, and she became aware of how close he stood, of his hands now lightly massaging her shoulders.
“That’s better,” he said, his voice changing and becoming husky. “I don’t know what you do to me,” he said softly, and her heart lurched. Matt leaned closer, his gaze drifting down to her mouth. Everything inside her constricted and she held her breath, wondering if he would kiss her.
Chapter 4
“What I do to you?” she repeated, barely able to whisper the words.
He stared at her a long, tension-fraught time with the air crackling between them; she didn’t want it to happen, yet she couldn’t move, couldn’t look away, couldn’t breathe.
Suddenly he turned and jammed his hands into his pockets and strode away from her. She climbed back into bed, pulling the sheet over her legs, and watched him open a drawer and begin pulling out T-shirts and shorts and socks. Why did so much that he did in this room seem intimate? He was merely moving clothes, like gathering laundry, yet each shirt, each item seemed special, personal.
She looked down at the sleeping girls and tried to shift her thoughts. She didn’t want to be attracted to any man at this time in her life. Not Matt Whitewolf or anyone else. She didn’t want sparks to ignite when she looked into his eyes.
Drawers opened and closed. She stroked the baby’s head, rubbing her fingertips over the fine, soft hair.
“Vivian.”
Matt stood across the room from her, hands on his hips. “I guess I should tell you the schedule. I get up before dawn and fix a little breakfast and then I’m out of here. I’ll be out of your way until tomorrow afternoon. I’ll have my pager if you need me. I’ll have my cell phone in my truck, too, so I’ll call Enid and ask the car repairman if he knows yet when he will come to tow your car. When he does, I’ll meet him and take care of everything. Is there anything else you want me to get out of the car and bring to the house?”
He was keeping a distance, physically and emotionally. A shuttered look had come over his features, and he remained standing across the room. “I can call Enid and take care of the car,” she said, studying the formidable expression on his face. “I’m glad you didn’t look that fierce around Mary Catherine.”
“Fierce?” he asked, looking puzzled for an instant, and then the shuttered look vanished and there was no mistaking the desire burning in his dark eyes. He crossed the room, his gaze locking with Vivian’s, and her mouth went dry and her heart thudded as she watched him approach the bed.
He came around beside her and sat down so close their hips touched, and she wondered if he could hear the pounding of her heart. He reached out and raked his fingers slowly, sensuously through her hair, barely touching her head in a light stroke.
“Lady, if I look fierce, it’s because I’m fighting everything in me that’s screaming to stay with you, to talk to you, to look at you, to touch you....”
With every word his voice grew softer until it tapered off altogether as his gaze shifted to her mouth. “I’m trying to do the right thing. You’re a new mother. That’s sacred, yet when I’m close to you what I feel is damned carnal. It’s Fourth of July fireworks. We don’t want that, do we?”
“No,” she whispered, her heart thudding wildly from his words that wrapped her in a golden warmth. “Oh, no, never,” she breathed, saying one thing and feeling another. Trying to cling to logic and caution, she knew she should turn away, tell him to go and try to resist any further complication in her life. “We didn’t even know each other yesterday.”
“Vivian, we’ve seen each other in the depths of crisis—you get to know someone faster and better that way than any other way. All that’s true in a person comes out.” He wound locks of her hair around his fingers and gazed steadily into her eyes.
She should move away, look away. Oh, but what would one kiss hurt? She wanted Matt Whitewolf’s kiss. The knowledge that she could want a man’s kiss so soon after childbirth shocked her. Why did she suspect even one kiss with him might be earth-shattering?
Baby Julia stirred and began to make mewling sounds, her fists waving in the air.
Matt stood and took a step back. “You’re wanted by someone else,” he said quietly. “I’ll take my things and go.”
As she watched him walk away from her, Vivian’s heart still thudded. She picked up the baby, holding her close and standing while Matt gathered his things in his arms and left the room, closing the door behind him.
You’re wanted by someone else. Had he meant that the way it sounded? Someone else. Had he meant himself? Why did one look from him set her pulse fluttering crazily? She worked with men constantly and had never had this kind of reaction to one since back to the days she dated Baker.
There had been men who flirted, particularly after they knew she was getting divorced. Since the divorce there had been a couple of men who had called for dates, and it had been so easy to say no. At no time, not with any of them, did her pulse race. Why now? Of all the unlikely people on earth, this rough cowboy whose world mi
ght as well be a planet away from hers, they were so different. Yet with a look he could turn her to quivering jelly. What was happening to her?
As Julia’s cries grew louder, Vivian looked down at her baby, shifting her to cradle her in her arms. Love and joy overwhelmed her. What a day they’d had! Now after all the months of waiting, she had Julia.
Vivian held the tiny baby close and stroked her head and kissed her. That first moment of birth, Matt had been as jubilant as she. She smiled and jiggled Julia, who had stopped crying and was smacking her lips.
“You’re the sweetest baby,” Vivian said softly, moving to the rocking chair to hold Julia close to let her nurse. The wonder and joy of the new baby was exciting. She had to admit, the cowboy who had delivered her was also exciting. She rocked and looked around his room again, wondering about the tall, tough cowboy who could be so tender yet led such a solitary life.
It’s the Fourth of July fireworks. He felt that around her? She experienced more than sparks around him, she had to admit. Neither of us wants it. Maybe she did a little. She shouldn’t and they would part ways soon, but she liked some of the feelings he stirred. The fiery attraction was amazing, and after all she had been through the past two years—divorce, upheaval, pregnancy—it was nice to know she could be attractive. It wasn’t going to go any further than that. No dates, no kisses, no relationship, only goodbye as soon as her car was fixed.
Vivian rocked and thought about him, images of him dancing in her mind. Then her thoughts shifted to the baby and she tightened her arms around Julia, saying a prayer of thanks to have her baby safely in her arms.
“My precious baby,” she whispered, thankful the baby was here and glad Matt had found them.
The next day Vivian spent most of the day resting and taking care of the girls. Once Matt called from his cellular phone and she answered.
“Whitewolf residence.”
“Vivian, it’s Matt,” he said in a deep voice. “Did I wake you?”
“Not really. I’ve napped and I was just lying here.”
“Sorry to disturb you,” he said.
“You didn’t. It’s nice to talk to someone over four years old.”
He chuckled. “Good. I called the car repairman and he’s backed up with cars because of the storm. It’ll be tomorrow before he can get out to tow your car.”
“That’s fine, except you’ll have houseguests longer. I really can go to a hotel.”
“Forget it. The little towns around here don’t have hotels and Enid is a distance away. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. How’s everything?”
“Fine,” she said.
“How’s Julia?”
“Just great. She’s sleeping. Mary Catherine is coloring and I’m resting.”
“Good. I’ve got cows lost, fences down, fields flooded.”
She settled in the chair and wondered exactly where he was, enjoying the sound of his voice. They continued talking for a few more minutes until Julia stirred.
“Matt, Julia’s crying. I need to get her.”
“Yeah. I better get back to work, but this is more fun. See you tonight.”
That night Matt called and said he had to keep working because one of the men’s trucks was stuck and he was helping to get it out.
Vivian and Mary Catherine ate early, and Vivian went to bed when Mary Catherine did, without seeing Matt that night.
The next morning Vivian was up before dawn with Julia. She fed and changed her and then pulled on her robe to go to the kitchen. When she opened the bedroom door, lights were on in the hall and she could see light spilling from the kitchen. Just the thought of seeing Matt again made her heart beat more swiftly. She had a mixture of trepidation and eagerness, because she was swiftly piecing together facts about him and believed that she and her girls were a major intrusion in his life.
When she entered the kitchen, he was leaning against the counter drinking a cup of coffee. Dressed in jeans and a blue chambray shirt with the sleeves cut off, he looked alert. His gaze swept over her impassively and he nodded. “’Morning.”
“Good morning. Julia got me up. I hope she didn’t wake you in the night.”
He shook his head. “Takes more than a baby. Sorry I didn’t get back yesterday afternoon. It was catch-up day. This afternoon I’ll try to go get things out of your car if you’ll tell me what you want.”
“Sure. I’ll make a list, but we’re doing fine and there’s no rush if you have work to do. I feel we’re really imposing on you.”
“Nope. If I didn’t want you here, I’d send you somewhere else,” Matt said as he opened a drawer, retrieved pen and paper and handed it to her, his fingers brushing hers. She both disturbed and fascinated him and he watched her move across the room and pull out a chair, sitting down gracefully.
“I don’t believe you’d send us away,” she said, smiling. She sat at the table and her head bent over the list as she began to write. The silky curtain of brown hair fell forward, partially hiding her face, and he remembered its softness sliding through his fingers.
“Want some orange juice, milk?”
“Yes, please, on both. Do you mind getting my computer and do you mind if I hook it up here? That way I can keep in touch with my clients?”
“Do whatever you want. Mi casa es su casa.”
“Mil gracias,” she answered, and he grinned.
He placed orange juice and a large glass of milk in front of her and stood facing her across the table. “How about toast? Eggs? I’ll scramble eggs or poach them if you’d like or I’ll fix oatmeal. I’m listing my specialties.”
“I can get my own breakfast,” she said.
“I’m getting mine, I might as well get yours at the same time. What’ll it be?”
“Oatmeal,” she answered.
“I’ll take everything outside and we can watch the sunrise while we eat. I have an intercom. I’ll turn it up so you can hear the girls.”
“Fine. Julia just went back to sleep and Mary Catherine won’t be up for another couple of hours, so we’re not likely to hear from them.”
In minutes they were seated outside. As he sipped a cup of steaming black coffee, Matt gazed over his land toward the eastern horizon that was turning silver with the coming of early morning. A faint cool breeze blew across the porch, and he settled back in his chair, too aware of Vivian, yet enjoying the morning and her presence. She sat quietly sipping her juice, and he was glad they could share the moment and glad she enjoyed it in silence just as he did.
A mockingbird’s melodic song was the only sound—there was a quiet to the place that Matt always liked. He sipped the coffee and when he glanced at Vivian, her profile was to him, her face raised as she looked across his farmland. She turned to look at him and he gazed into eyes bluer than the morning skies and wondered again if he would ever forget her.
“It’s beautiful.”
“Very beautiful,” he said, thinking about her.
Something flickered in the depths of her eyes, and they were caught in another moment when tension jumped between them and the world faded to oblivion. What was it they did to each other? Neither wanted this electricity sparking between them when they were together, yet there it was, making him intensely aware of her. She held his gaze, giving him a steady look that heated him. She had a frank way of looking at him, a frank way of answering him that he liked.
“Where are you from, Vivian?” he asked casually, yet his voice had dropped a notch.
“I was born in Los Angeles. We lived in L.A. and then in Chicago and then Denver.”
“City lady. You probably hate the quiet here.”
“Don’t prejudge me. It’s a beautiful morning here, and I like the quiet. It’s a change that’s new to me. At the moment I find it nice.”
“Do you have brothers or sisters?”
“No. No family left. Are your half brothers married?”
“Yes.”
“So, they’re not as concerned about their background as you are,” she s
aid with a faint smile.
“Jared sort of rushed into marriage. When his friend was killed, he had to adopt his best friend’s baby. He needed a mother for the baby and he got one quickly.”
“You make it sound like a business arrangement.”
“Nope, but he didn’t waste any time. They’re happily married and expecting another baby, as a matter of fact.”
“So that family background that worries you so much hasn’t hurt him or his marriage—right? Maybe you should rethink your future.”
“Nope. I know what I should do. What are you going to do in Houston?”
“Start over.”
“You think you’ll be safe?”
“Yes. Baker is an egomaniac, not a criminal. He yells and when he wouldn’t stop yelling at Mary Catherine, I knew I had to end the relationship. I don’t think he would ever resort to violence. I can’t imagine Baker causing me trouble.”
From what little he knew, Matt thought the man had caused her enough trouble for a lifetime already. He stood. “I better get going. There are horses waiting, and I need to see what damage the rain did. This afternoon I’ll take you with me to get the things from your car if you want.”
“I’d like that if the girls are awake. It’ll be easier if I go along.”
Matt picked up their empty dishes, carrying them to the kitchen. Vivian sat back, enjoying seeing the eastern sky grow pink with rays that promised a glorious day. She inhaled the fresh, rain-washed air, looking across the green land that ran endlessly to the horizon.
Shortly Matt reappeared, a red bandanna tied around his forehead. He paused at the table and placed a piece of paper in front of her with a number written on it. “That’s my pager number. If you need me for any reason, page me. Here are the keys to one of the trucks. I called and the bridge is gone over Rabbit Creek, so page me if you have any kind of emergency. I can get right back to the house.”
“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” she said, standing and pushing in her chair. She picked up the paper and put it in the pocket of her robe.
“Make a grocery list and I’ll go get what we need this afternoon.”