by Sara Orwig
She gazed over his farmland and thought about Baker. His offer would enrage Matt, and it was a wonder Matt hadn’t slugged Baker. She gritted her teeth. Why couldn’t Baker just get out of her life? Yet she knew—had known all along—just to save his own face, Baker would not give up.
Mary Catherine called to her and Vivian went back to sit on the edge of the sandbox to play with her daughter.
Matt spent the next two hours rounding up strays and trying to lose himself in concentrating on cows and calves. It was noon before work slacked off and he was repairing a fence and stopped to think about what had happened that morning.
Baker Ashland was a slimy reptile and Matt knew Vivian would be on edge for the next few days and nights.
He thought about the talk they’d had in the night with her sitting in bed beside him and telling him solemnly how she felt. Several more nights and I’ll be so in love—
Her statement tore at his heart. It sounded as if she were already in love with him. He didn’t want to hurt her. To hurt her would be the last thing he wanted to happen and he couldn’t imagine that she was in love with him.
He hadn’t heard any “I love you” from her. Not at all. That sentence was the closest she had come, but it hadn’t been a declaration of love. There were so many differences between them and she was never meant for him. He had always known he would have to let her go someday. I don’t want to leave here with bigger hurts and worries than I had when I came. Vivian had said.
Impossible. He was not the man for her and he had never had any illusions about that. He had heard from women all his life—his mother, lovers—that he was incapable of loving. Well, he was able to love, but he wanted someone who knew how to be a good father and a good husband for Vivian. He had been told too many times that he didn’t have a heart. Matt knew he was just one of the luckiest men on earth to get the time he’d had with her. He couldn’t stand to think about her going, so he shut it out of his mind.
It was ten o’clock that night before she had both girls asleep and came out to join him on the porch. She was restless, nervous and unlike herself, and Matt silently cursed Baker for disturbing her.
When she stood to go to bed, Matt came to his feet.
“Damn, Vivian. Baker might as well be here on the porch with us. He’s ruined the evening.”
“I’m sorry. I know I’m distracted—”
“There’s a way to cure that,” he said, moving closer. “I know you don’t want us to keep on loving, but lady, our time together is vanishing and we’re throwing it away. It’s too important to do that.”
“How important, Matt? That’s part of what I’m trying to figure out.”
“I’ll show you how important,” he said, taking her in his arms to kiss her. Her hands pushed lightly against his chest, but he stroked her back and kissed her as if this was the last kiss he would ever have. “It’s damned important, Vivian,” he whispered against her ear, flicking his tongue in her ear while he slid his hands beneath her T-shirt to unfasten her bra and cup her breasts in his hands.
“Matt,” she said. When his name came out with a rush of breath and there was no protest, his pulse soared.
He tightened his arm around her, kissing her, pushing up the T-shirt to kiss her breast and then peeling away her shirt while he unfastened her cutoffs.
She trembled in his arms. “Oh, Matt, you say this is important and then you say you know I’ll be going as if it doesn’t matter to you.”
“It matters,” he said gruffly, looking down at her. “Damn, it matters, but I know I can’t hold you here.”
“What makes you think you can’t?”
“Don’t tease me, Vivian,” he said gruffly, and kissed her before she could answer him. He unfastened her jeans and pushed them away.
She grabbed his wrist. “Let’s go inside. I feel exposed out here since you said someone could sit out there with binoculars—”
Matt picked her up and carried her inside to his bedroom swiftly, kicking the door shut. A small lamp burned by the bed, shedding a dusky glow in the middle of the room.
“Matt, this is just what—”
He stood her on her feet and kissed her and stopped her words. Then his hands destroyed all protests until they were wildly loving in his bed.
Moving with him, she clung to him and almost cried out her feelings. Wanting to tell him she loved him, Vivian felt hot tears spring to her eyes. If he wasn’t in love, he wasn’t going to want to hear declarations from her, but she was in love. Deeply.
She tightened her arms around his back and held him, feeling him shudder with his release as hers came and rapture swept away everything else.
Later, she lay in his arms while he stroked her and played with her hair.
“It’s Wednesday, Vivian. I have you here until when—next Wednesday?” His fingers trailed lazily down her arm.
She laughed, yet her pulse leaped because here was the chance she wanted to discuss her leaving with him. “You keep moving the day that I go farther and farther away.”
Her pulse drummed—was she making a mistake, misjudging the depth of his feelings? Was she going to be rebuffed by him in the next few minutes?
Vivian couldn’t stop remembering the warnings from women that Matt was a heartbreaker. She looked into his dark eyes as he gazed solemnly back at her and she took a deep breath, knowing in the next few minutes she would have some kind of answer from him.
Chapter 16
“Matt, I’ve been thinking about it All I need is a big city. It doesn’t have to be Houston.”
His hand stilled and he turned on his side, propping up his head to stare at her. “Where can it be?”
“I’ve been thinking about Oklahoma City.”
Matt’s heart thudded. She might not go to Texas! Joy leaped in him, but instantly, he held it in check. “Oklahoma City isn’t as big as Houston.”
“No, but it’s big enough. I think I can start my business there.”
Matt pulled her into his embrace, burying his face in her hair to keep her from seeing his raw emotions. She would stay longer! The idea glowed in his mind like a splendid gift. She would be here beyond next week, beyond next month—close enough he could drive to the city and see her and she could come back to the farm. He would see Mary Catherine and Julia!
Beyond the prospect of seeing them, his mind couldn’t function. He knew better than to expect too much because he knew in his soul that he was not the man for her.
“I want you to stay in Oklahoma,” he said against her neck.
“That’s what I needed to know,” she stated solemnly. He raised his head to kiss her and the discussion was over for the night.
That Saturday, Matt’s brothers arrived. First Jared, Faith and Merry and then Wyatt, his wife, Alexa, and his little girls, Kelsey, Rachel and Robin.
Vivian thought his brothers were handsome; both Wyatt and Jared were more relaxed and easygoing than Matt. She watched them stand in the yard at the grill and watched their little girls, who were happily playing in the sandbox with Mary Catherine, while the wives put lunch on the table.
“So you’re moving to Houston?” Faith asked. Pregnant, she seemed wildly in love with her husband. They both were barely able to stop touching each other when they were together.
“I think I’ll move to Oklahoma City,” Vivian said,looking out the window at Matt. “I need a large city for my business, but I think that will do.” She glanced at Faith, who was staring at her with curiosity in her large green eyes. “There’s nothing serious between your brother-in-law and me,” she said, thinking the words sounded false to her ears because she was very serious.
“I hope there is and so do his brothers,” Faith replied quietly. “Jared worries about Matt living such a lonely, isolated life.”
“Wyatt worries about him, too,” Alexa said, looking as intently at Vivian as Faith had. “He’s pretty set in his ways.”
Vivian had to laugh. “I suppose Matt is. And totally opposed to
marriage.”
Someone yelled outside and Faith hurried through the back door, and then the moment for quiet talk was gone.
The brothers and their families stayed until dusk, then all piled in their cars. Jared hugged Vivian as if he had known her for years.
“Rope that cowboy, darlin’, and haul him down the aisle with you.”
She had to laugh. “I don’t believe we’re ready for that, either one of us.”
“Shucks. I was hoping my old bachelor brother would finally get a family. And you have a sweet one.”
“Thank you. It was nice to meet you, Jared.”
“Nice to meet you. Hope we see you again.”
Wyatt was the last one to say goodbye and he gazed at her solemnly. “It was nice to meet you. Matt told me about your ex and that you may move to Oklahoma City. I’m a detective there, so just come in and see us when you get there and I’ll help you if he tries to bother you.”
“Thanks, Wyatt.”
“’Night,” he said, turning to his brother.
Matt draped his arm across Vivian’s shoulder and held Mary Catherine against his chest with his other arm while they watched everyone drive away.
“What a nice family you have.”
“Yeah, they are. I’m getting to know them better now than when I was a kid. I was older than they were and the years made a difference then.”
They headed toward the house. “Mary Cat, I’ll read you a story if you’ll get your pajamas on,” Matt said.
“Yeah!” she cried. When he set her down, she ran ahead to dash inside the house.
“See, it’s all in knowing how to talk ’em into getting ready for bed.”
“Sure. You’re the expert on talking someone into bed,” she drawled.
He looked at her, his dark eyes changing as his arm tightened around her shoulders. “We’ll see how well I do tonight.”
She shook her head. “Matt, I want to wait. We’ve rushed into this, and I won’t live far away and these are not going to be the last nights we spend together. I need to know where we stand with you. I’m old-fashioned and I need commitment,” she said, her breath catching while emotions tore at her. She wanted to know what he felt. Vivian knew she was deeply in love with him. Mary Catherine already loved him. Vivian hated to press him, but she needed more from him.
With one of those fierce looks, he studied her. Was he struggling for words—or was she misjudging how deep his feelings ran? Silence stretched between them while his chest heaved, and she knew he was fighting his own inner battles.
“We have to sort things out, Matt,” she said quietly, and turned to go, her heart hammering because they seemed to be at loggerheads. Everything in her cried out to walk into his arms and forget trying to get the right words from him. Yet she had to think of the future and her girls, too.
Friday Lita brought a friend, Janie Grayson, to help with the housework, so Vivian drove to Oklahoma City to look at apartments, leaving the girls at the farm with Lita and Janie.
The next days passed quickly and by Friday, as Matt drove across his field in his pickup, he could barely think about what he was doing because his mind was on Vivian. He had talked several times with Sheriff Gonzales, and from what they could learn, Baker had flown back to Denver the night he had been in Dakani and no one had seen him or the P.I. since. Matt couldn’t dwell on Baker. It was Vivian who took up all of his thoughts.
She was drawing away from him. He saw the boxes that now were packed and closed, the suitcases she had packed. Several times this week she had driven to Oklahoma City to look for an apartment, and then when she returned at suppertime, she was busy all evening with the girls. As soon as she put them to bed, she tried to catch up on her work.
He knew he was losing her and he had always known this time was inevitable. He’d had more nights with her in his bed than he had ever dreamed he would, magical nights that he would always hold in his heart as the closest he would ever come to love. He had the hours with Julia and Mary Catherine that would be the closest he ever expected to come to a family of his own. Any time it hurt to think about them leaving, he pulled memories around him like a cloak against the cold winds of loss.
He had to let her go on with her life. It just hurt unbearably to watch her get ready to do so. He was as bad as Pete, getting tears in his eyes when he kissed Mary Cat good-night, tears he tried to hide from both Mary Cat and Vivian, but he couldn’t stop them.
He loved all three females. He was deeply in love with Vivian, but it had never occurred to him how much he would come to love Julia and Mary Catherine.
Wednesday of the next week, when Matt sat down to supper, Vivian gazed at him solemnly. “I found an apartment for us today.”
The words were like a knife plunging into his heart, yet he merely nodded. “I suppose that’s good, although you know there’s no rush.”
Something flashed in her blue eyes, but he didn’t know what. She bent over her supper and was quiet.
“When will you move?”
“That’s the thing—it’s vacant and I can get possession right away, so I think I can be packed and we can move Saturday.”
The reality of their going made Matt feel all hollow inside. It hurt badly and he knew it was a pain that wasn’t going away.
Friday afternoon Vivian unplugged her computer. Mary Catherine was in the yard with Lita, Julia and Patricia, the two babies in the shade in their carriers. By tonight when Matt got home, she would have everything packed and he was going to finish loading his pickup.
She paused, thinking about moving to Oklahoma City. The reality that he was going to let her go tore at her. He was just going to let her drive out of his life tomorrow. She hoped it wasn’t forever, but once she was gone—she didn’t know what he would do.
Vivian’s thoughts were interrupted when a child’s cry pierced the air and chilled her because she recognized Mary Catherine’s voice.
She looked out the window and her heart skipped a beat. With sunlight glinting on his blond hair, Baker was in the backyard.
Chapter 17
Terror gripped Vivian when she saw Baker with his fingers locked around Mary Catherine’s arm. He was pulling her along through the gate toward his car and Vivian’s fear changed to fury. Lita was screaming repeatedly and Mary Catherine’s cries became louder.
Vivian raced through the house. With icy fingers she grabbed the back door and burst outside, running past Lita and the babies.
“Call 911! Call Matt!” she ordered Lita. Vivian sprinted toward Baker and screamed, “Let her go, Baker!”
He looked up, and Mary Catherine jerked free, dashing away from him to Vivian as Vivian burst through the gate. Mary Catherine threw her arms around her mother’s legs while she sobbed.
Vivian picked her up to hug her, trying to calm the hysterical child. “Shh, baby, it’s all right. Go in the house,” she said quietly, setting her down. “I’ll be there in a minute, and Lita will be with you.”
“Mommy!”
“Go on, sweetie. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Mary Catherine ran, and Vivian walked toward Baker, who stood facing her. “You know you’re not supposed to be here,” she said, shaking with fury.
“I know I desperately need to talk to you. Vivian, give me a chance. Listen to me. Are you going to just throw everything away? The girls’ futures, your career; security—everything I can give all of you. You’re tossing your future and theirs aside for some hick farmer.”
“You’re not supposed to come near me. You’re breaking the law. What were you doing to Mary Catherine? Not anything that would make me want to come back to you.”
He clinched, and she realized that accusation had hit its mark. Rage made her tremble violently. “What were you doing, Baker, pulling her along like that?”
“I was going to take her to Denver and then you’d have to come hear me out If you’d come back, you’d see what you’re throwing away.”
“You were taking Mary Catherine
?” she said, aghast and wondering if his mind had snapped in his blind drive to satisfy his ego. “That’s kidnapping.”
“I didn’t kidnap her. I didn’t even get out of the yard with her.”
“Get out of here,” she ordered through clenched teeth.
“Just listen to me for a minute. If you come back to Denver, I won’t bother you. Just return and work with me. You’ve humiliated me, Vivian, in front of my colleagues.”
“Baker, look what you did to me and to Mary Catherine! All I did was walk out and get a divorce.”
“Come home.”
“Home! I have no home there. I won’t ever go back. Can’t you understand that? Learn to accept no, Baker. No. No. Never. I’m never coming back,” she pronounced slowly and emphatically. “And you’re breaking the taw,” she added in disgust.
“Are you in love with Whitewolf? What can he possibly give you? Nothing! You won’t be happy here. The little farm wife! I know what you like, and it’s not life down on the farm with the farmer in the dell. He’s a hick, Vivian. Uneducated, a clod—”
“Stop it!” she ordered, shaking with rage. “Get out of here. I’m never coming back, Baker. How you thought I would—”
He stepped forward and grabbed her arm as she raised it to protect herself. She saw a movement out of the corner of her eye.
Matt was there, and Baker was on the ground so swiftly, she barely knew what happened.
“Go on, Vivian,” Matt ordered. “Get out of here.”
Furious with Baker and worried what the two men would do to each other, Vivian turned to go to the house to make certain the sheriff was coming.
Baker got up, his fists clenched. “You hayseed. She’s my wife and my family and I want her back.”
“You bastard. You don’t love her,” Matt said. “How much do you know about what she likes and what she wants? How much do you think about her instead of about yourself?” His voice was tight, quiet and deadly, every word clipped and precise. “What have you done to help her or make her happy or win her love? What of yourself have you given her? When a man loves a woman, this is not how he treats her!”