The Sleeping Serpent: A woman's struggle to break an obsessive bond with her yoga master

by Luna Saint Claire

  Luna screeched, “Nico! What in the world are you doing?”

  Holding the marker poised to the wall, he instructed, “Read it to me, Luna.”

  As she read, he printed in very large letters on the wall above the sofa. “How do you spell ‘loose?’ With two Os, right?”

  Luna giggled. “Yes, two Os.” When he was done, she was surprised how the combination of print and script handwriting looked very artistic on the red walls.

  “There. I’ll always remember to take aim and do good. Thank you, bella. You’re my spirit guide.”

  Grinning, Luna admired his handiwork. “It looks great, Nico. I love it!”

  He went to the stove to check on the locro, with Luna following. As he stirred the pot, she said, “You’re wonderful, Nico. And you’ll be fine. I just know it.” She wrapped her arms around him from behind and kissed the back of his neck, deeply inhaling the intoxicating mix of the natural scent of his body and the alluring fragrance of Aqua di Parma. But she felt his body tense as her lips brushed his skin, and feeling guilty for her boldness, she quickly released him and went to set the table.

  Carrying over two bowls filled to the brim, he remarked, “You always make things look so nice, Luna, with napkins and candles. When you’re not here, I just eat in front of the TV.”

  Luna considered what he’d said. “Nico, every act is sacred. Even the small things we do every day are rituals, reminding us to honor everything and be grateful. Especially for food. An animal died for this food, and it’s important to express our gratitude.”

  Nico refilled the wine glasses and before picking up his fork, looked at Luna and said softly, “Gracias Dios por los alimentos que nos has dado, and especially for you, Luna.” He blew her a kiss across the table.

  Luna blushed and looked down, and Nico asked, “Do I embarrass you, bella?”

  She nodded. “Sometimes. But it’s OK…”

  “Ah, Luna. If only you were free to be with me, we would have a good time. If we fucked, you’d never be the same, you could never be with anyone else. You know this, right?”

  “I’ve heard your stories—more than I need to know.”

  He was trying to look serious, but his eyes twinkled. “Have you ever squirted, Luna?”

  She was ashamed to ask, “I don’t know, Nico? What is that?”

  He laughed out loud. “What is squirting? Oh! You’d know if you had.” Purposely embarrassing her, he continued teasing. “I make a woman squirt and have the deepest, most intense multiple orgasms.”

  Luna didn’t have an answer. She sipped her wine and looked down at her plate.

  Nico was deadpan. “How many times do you come when you and Tyler fuck?”

  Mortified, Luna responded almost inaudibly. “I don’t know, Nico. You’re embarrassing me. We make love. He makes me come, then he comes. It’s very nice…”

  He put his fork down. “That’s it? You come…he comes…that’s all?”

  She defended herself. “Yes, Nico, that’s all. It’s fine.”

  He shook his head. “I feel sorry for you, Luna. You deserve more. You should get more pleasure than that.”

  He saw she was on the verge of tears. “I’m sorry, bella. I was only teasing with you.”

  She replied quietly, “It’s OK, Nico. You didn’t mean it. It’s just the way things are, that’s all. Leave it alone. I’m happy.”

  She hadn’t meant to lead him into further conversation, but Nico continued, “Luna, you’re not happy. You’ve just accepted things the way they are. I’ve been trying to get you to see that you and Tyler are just friends. You’re a vibrant, sexual woman. You need passion! Maybe we can try to open up Tyler, get him to awaken his sexual energy.”

  Luna perked up. “Is that possible? That would be wonderful.”

  “We can try. See if you can get him to come to a class with you.”

  “OK, I’ll try.”

  Quietly, they savored the locro, cleaning their plates with bread. Contented, Luna finally broke the silence, “Nico, about me and Tyler…”

  He looked up at her and steadied his gaze. He could see she was serious and on the verge of tears. “What, bella? You know you can talk to me about anything.”

  Certain he wasn’t mocking her and was genuinely listening, she opened up. “Well, I know we have awakened the kundalini. I’m feeling more sexually…vibrant?” There was no one except Nico she could tell; still, she was self-conscious about admitting she’d become lustful…horny. Struggling to find the right words, she inhaled sharply, and her eyes glazed over with unspent tears. “We are having sex more often, and it’s definitely a lot better.” As much as she wished she had the courage to tell Nico that she fantasized about him while having sex with Tyler, she knew she would regret it. Instead, she just frankly stated, “I wish Tyler was more passionate. More…I don’t know…spontaneous.”

  Nico’s eyes glimmered, but he didn’t tease her the way he normally would. “Bella, don’t be shy. I know what you’re saying, and it’s normal. You want him to ravish you. You want him to feel the extreme desire that has been asleep within you for many years and is now awake.”

  She swiped away the tears that hung on her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Nico. I shouldn’t trouble you with my problems…I’ll talk to Tyler about coming to class.” Changing topics to mask her embarrassment, she added, “Thank you, Nico. The locro was delicious.”

  He winked at her, his eyes flickering in the candlelight. “Thank you, Luna, for bringing me to church—and for the arrow.”

  Luna was having a difficult time convincing Tyler to come with her to the gallery, so she tried several angles. “Heidi will be there. It’ll be an opportunity to see her.”

  Tyler groused, “OK, I’ll go. I’ll go because you want me to go.”

  Delighted, she gave him a kiss. “Thanks, Tyler. I appreciate it. Still, I know people want to meet you. They always ask me where you are.”

  Luna wore a black Donna Karan dress with a sweeping asymmetric hem, cutout back, and plunging neckline. Gazing at herself in the full-length mirror, she admired her slim and toned body. As Nico promised, she looked and felt twenty years younger. She put on a chunky turquoise statement necklace, large silver hoop earrings, and her heavy silver Navajo cuff, then slipped on high-heeled suede sandals to emphasize her long, lean figure. Why not show it off? Of course Alexa would be there—and maybe Erin—though she wasn’t sure Nico would have both of them at the same event.

  Arriving at The Rails, Luna immediately saw Nico pacing about frantically, setting up the bar with his father. Holding Tyler’s hand, she approached the two men, greeting them with double-cheek kisses. As always, Roberto flirtatiously winked, giving Luna the once over. “Beautiful bella!” he commented playfully, so not to offend Tyler.

  Nico, sweating at the brow, rushed over to Luna and implored her to prepare the goody bags.

  Once Nico was out of ear shot, Tyler protested, “Why are you charged with this task instead of Alexa?”

  “He asked me.” She shrugged. “Apparently, this is beneath Alexa. I would rather help than have him stress out any more than he already is.” Luna hoped it would somehow prove that Alexa was just a bitch.

  Tyler’s answer was typical. “Whatever…” he said, shaking his head disapprovingly.

  While Luna was stuffing an Amaru logo T-shirt and the new issue of LA Magazine with the article Sofia had written into a yoga bag, Heidi and another girl from class walked up to say hello, and Heidi questioned provocatively, “Why are you doing that?”

  Blushing with humiliation, Luna threw down the T-shirt she was holding in her hand and tapped one of the young servers to finish up for her.

  Heidi said she had gotten there early to do hair and makeup for Nico and Alexa, telling Luna that they were being interviewed for a morning show spot and then photographed for some press Alexa had set up. Heidi made no bones about it, saying, “That Alexa is milking this for all she can.”

  Luna seethed inside. “I managed to
get all the Tshirts and bags printed practically overnight. What the hell?!”

  With perfect timing, Tyler arrived holding a couple of glasses of chardonnay.

  “Luna, there’s something else strange about this whole situation,” Heidi hinted.

  “What do you mean?” Luna pressed for more.

  Heidi mulled, “It’s just strange. I don’t like Alexa one bit. She’s pulling him around by the balls, controlling him with her power and money. Still, it’s pretty clear Nico is playing her for everything he can get. My mother was a narcissist—I know one when I see one.”

  Luna wondered what she meant, but didn’t ask.

  Nico and Alexa were working the room, and Luna tried not to follow them with her eyes, instead intently watching the big screen above the bar where the testimonial video was playing. The music was loud, making the film inaudible, but eventually she saw herself being interviewed as the loop continued.

  Seeing Roberto alone at the bar, Luna meandered over for another glass of wine.

  “Ah, bella. What do you think of this?” He rolled his eyes.

  “I hope Nico gets some good press. He deserves it,” she replied diplomatically.

  Maybe Roberto had a few glasses of wine, because he became a bit chatty. “Well, bella, do you think Nico is sleeping with her?”

  Stunned by his bluntness, she shook her head pensively. “I don’t know…what do you think?”

  He immediately quipped, “I think they go off to Mexico to his hidden love nest, where he fucks her. He should grow the business slowly himself. I don’t think this is a smart way, it will only bring trouble.” He shook his head as if forewarning. “She has her claws into him and won’t do anything out of the goodness of her heart.”

  Luna exhaled sharply. “Why don’t you tell me what you really think?” she laughed heartily. So, it was obvious to his father and to Heidi—who else knew? Luna suggested, “I think you should tell him how you feel. Maybe he’ll listen to you.”

  He laughed. “Ah, bella. I thought you knew Nico better!”

  All night, Nico was constantly at Alexa’s side and made no effort to come over and speak to them. So when Tyler asked if she wanted to say good-bye, Luna’s feelings of anger and humiliation surfaced. “I’d rather not disturb them. Let’s just go.”

  Later that evening, Nico called. “Luna, where did you go? Come to La Forza, we’re all here.”

  She felt guilty. Maybe she shouldn’t have left. He sounded let down. “We’re already in bed, Nico. And I have to be at work early tomorrow.”

  Nico pleaded, but there was no way Luna was getting out of bed and trucking over to La Forza…not after the way she felt she had been treated. “Please, Luna. I need you to come.”

  She asked remotely, “Is Alexa there?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Well then, I’m absolutely not coming.”

  “Why, Luna? What did she do to you?”

  “She could have made a point—or at least you could have—of coming to say hello and maybe thanking me for helping you with the event!”

  “Luna, you’re being jealous. We were working the room for business. You’re not business to her.”

  “Well, have fun then. Is Heidi there?”

  “No…and what did you say to her? She was going to come here, but then she was weird and bailed.”

  “Nothing, Nico. I said good night to her and told her that I had to get up early.”

  “I don’t believe you. You must have said something to her.”

  “No, Nico…I didn’t. Have a good time, Nico. Good night.”

  Luna was at home eating dinner and watching TV with Tyler. Weary from the previous night’s drama combined with a stressful day at work, she vowed to focus on her life—her job and Tyler.

  When her cell rang and she saw it was Nico, she felt a wave of anxiety. Apprehensive, she picked up only because she knew he would keep calling until she answered.

  “Luna, I’m very upset with you. You’ve lost me clients. You must’ve said something to them. I want to know what you said.”

  Panicking, Luna shrilled defensively, “Nico, what do you mean? Tyler and I chatted with Heidi and that other girl from class that falls over you, then we left early.”

  Badgering her, Nico spat, “Did you tell them that I was fucking Alexa? Did you spread this lie because you’re jealous?”

  She cried out, “Nico, you’re crazy. No, I never said that, I didn’t have to! How many times do I have to tell you it was Heidi who told me that you’re fucking Alexa? Think about it, Nico. Didn’t Heidi do her makeup again at the gallery? I guess she must have told her more!”

  Luna went into the living room and laid down on the sofa in the dark. Distraught, she broke down crying. “I can’t do it any more, Nico. I can’t stand this relationship between you and Alexa. If this is what you need to do to advance your career, then I’m sorry, I don’t want to be friends.”

  He spoke softly and slowly, with a hint of desperation. “Luna, I love you very much. You’re important to me. I need you in my life. What you’re saying isn’t fair.” He then continued, “Friends play different roles, and I love each person differently. I need Alexa right now. I need her to do what she promised, then it will be done. You’ll always be in my life, so please, for now I need you to be patient…and help me.”

  Luna choked up. She felt like she couldn’t breathe; she hadn’t expected him to plead with her. “Nico, I helped you with this event only to be ignored all evening. I hadn’t heard from you for weeks until you needed me to make the Tshirts. I feel like you only call me when you need something. I don’t like the way I’m used, and Alexa gets all your attention—and affection. She buys you things, takes you on trips, and throws you events. I can’t do those things for you.” She was sobbing then and trying to keep her voice down. “So you don’t pay attention to me, and I never see you anymore.”

  In his most convincing voice, Nico said, “I don’t see any of my friends right now. I’m too busy. I’m on a mission. This all has to get done—fast. If I don’t do it now, I’ll lose this opportunity. Luna, do you understand what I’m saying?”

  She whispered yes in between sobs. She knew Nico meant that if he didn’t appease Alexa, she wouldn’t deliver.

  “Right now I need you to be helping me, not upsetting me like this. Just wait, please. I’ll have more time and more money. We can spend time together then. Right now I need you to be my friend and help me.”

  Luna felt the tears come hot down her cheeks. “I love you, Nico. Of course I want to help you. Just please be nicer to me and spend more time with me. That bitch didn’t even say hello to me. And I was such an idiot, stuffing Tshirts into the yoga bags like a slave. She should have thanked me!”

  Nico tried to pacify her. “I know, Luna.”

  She was choked up with frustration. “Nico, I just can’t do it otherwise.”

  “OK, Luna. I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll hang out. I promise.”

  When Maya arrived at Amaru, music was playing in the studio—music that sounded like it came from heaven—liquid and transcending. She called out Nico’s name tentatively, and his soft reply led her to the studio, where he was sitting in the comfortable Perfect Pose, Siddhasana, his hands in Guyan Mudra, softly droning the Aum mantra.

  Maya didn’t want to tell her fight supervisor that she was having nightmares. She knew he would put her on leave if she told him the truth. When he’d asked if she was good to go, she’d said yes. But if she didn’t get herself together quickly, he would surely see any hesitation on her part—and replace her.

  She hoped she hadn’t disturbed Nico and waited tentatively. He didn’t move, but said her name, “Maya Balam, come in and sit next to me.”

  Maya walked up to the front of the room where he sat. She had noticed when she first walked in that his eyes were only slightly open, gazing upward in Shambhavi Mudra toward his third eye—the divine eye, or vision chakra, called Ajna. Maya recognized this meditation.
She knew it was powerful, known to develop great insight into the future and the power of intuition, opening up one’s psychic powers and abilities. More than that, she had read it bestows eloquent speech, making one charismatic and magnetic, even allowing for nonverbal communication. Believing in the power of kundalini, she had sought a teacher who could help her. The meditation Nico was doing confirmed her expectations.

  “Come, Maya…sit next to me.”

  Quietly, she sat next to him and folded her legs to match his, resting her hands on her knees.

  “Follow along, Maya, and breathe as I do. Then we will begin the kriya for overcoming fear. When Nico moved onto his knees, in table position, she followed suit precisely as he cooed his approval. “That’s right, bring your head down, chin toward your chest, as you arch your back up like a cat, pulling in your stomach. In Kundalini Yoga, we use this kriya as an excellent practice for emotional balance and overcoming our greatest fears, including the fear of death. This will clear your emotional garbage, and strengthen your nervous system. You may begin to panic during the exhale phase because of breath deprivation, but you also fight the fear and build great courage.”

  His voice soothed Maya, and she felt as if everything he said would come effortlessly simply because he said so.

  Students had begun arriving for class, rolling their mats out in the studio. Nico wrapped up their session. “Let’s not overdo this today. You’ll quickly be able to execute the pump phase longer each time, you’ll see.”

  Maya relaxed, but felt a bit light headed from the strenuous breathing exercise and swayed as if she might fall over.

  “Maya, are you OK? Would you rather skip class?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “No, I’ll be fine. I’ll drink some water, and I have an energy bar in my bag.”

  After moving her mat to her regular spot near the back of the room, she headed off to the locker room.