Almost Blinded to Love

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Almost Blinded to Love Page 5

by A. Mistory


  "Good grief, you two are relentless," I griped to no avail, I was sure.

  Another tune came on, and Cindy was still dancing with Cali. It was a more bouncy tune, and Jessi decided to turn up the heat, and smiled impishly as she did.

  "You're terrible, Jessi," I said, but smiled.

  My smile was wasted. Jessi was looking at Cali, who kept trying to see us, but Cindy kept interfering with her vision. I had to wonder what Jessi was trying to accomplish with her too sexy dancing all of a sudden. In a moment, I saw Cali's eyes. Maybe it was Jessi she was looking at, but there was longing there, too much longing.

  "You're worse than terrible, and more than sexy, so stop it, you mean bitch. Stop it," I said, mostly meaning it.

  She gave me one of her sexy smiles, and a look that said she’d stop if she felt like it.

  "Okay, but remember what I said,” Jessi surprised me. “She's sweet as can be, and I know you'll love her like you both need to be loved. Will you keep what I said in mind?" Jessi uncharacteristically asked, more serious than I'd ever heard her.

  "Okay, and thanks for being concerned about me," I said softly.

  "You? Who's concerned about you? It's that pretty thing over there that I'm worried about," Jessi said, back to her usual form.

  Cali and I hooked up again, and danced a while, then we bid our hostesses, and everyone else a good night.

  "I had a lovely time," Cali said as we neared her apartment.

  "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. You did seem to like Jessi and Cindy, and I know they liked you as did Carole."

  "They're so nice. Carole and Jessi, that is. Cindy was nice too," she added as an after thought.

  "Yeah, they are," I said, and felt like adding that they were like old biddies trying to be matchmakers, but didn't.

  "Would you like to come in for a while? I can make some coffee, or tea, or maybe a snack and some wine," Cali said as I parked the car.

  "Okay, for a moment, if you feel up to it."

  "Yes," she said, almost too quickly.

  I had a glass of cranberry juice with her, then settled down to some talking. Cali was nervous, so I got her to talking right away. She had a nice apartment, and her furniture was comfortable. We both sat on the sofa, but kept a respectable distance.

  When she began telling me about herself, I fast wondered how she liked any human beings. If I had been Cali, I think I would have settled for a dog, a cat, or a bird, or all of them, and shunned people. It wasn't that she was abused, at least not physically, but ignored or badgered, and made fun of. I could easily tell that Cali wasn't making any of it up for shock value. She was genuinely affected by the lack of warmth from anyone in her family.

  To be sure, her mother did provide very adequately for them after their father left just after Cali turned five. She remembered little of her father, but the rest was rather gruesome to hear. I thought I had it bad, but that was only after I had suddenly announced my probable liking for girls instead of boys. With me, it was all quite accidental, the product of an overzealous enthusiasm to be as I felt I truly was.

  When my father jokingly asked what boy I was interested in that he would have to look out for, I blurted out that I liked Amber, a really hot girl in my grade that I had a few classes with. God, they both hit the ceiling, and read me the riot act. I was grounded from going out until I was a senior in high school. The worst part was that Amber didn't like girls like I did, so it was a ruined almost three years for me. Cali was quite different.

  I found out that more than not liking her, her older brother and sister constantly poked fun at her, and rather cruelly. Her mother ignored them all, other than providing for them. Her mother was a supervisor for the local phone company, a second level one at that, and had a predilection for bringing her boyfriend of the week home with her after some dancing. He usually stayed the night, and on occasion, breakfast, lunch and dinner time, as well as for the weekend, too.

  The brother and sister were bad enough, probably due to their own internal miseries, but as far back as she could remember, they took to calling her 'Lista' with a snide derisive tone in their voices. Now I knew why she hated her name, or names. She did seem satisfied with Cali, though.

  "Didn't anyone ever call you Cali?" I asked her.

  "No. Lista stuck with me from everybody, and since my brother and sister said it the way they did, everyone else did too. I despised it, but there was nothing I could do, so I guess I just withdrew, and made it worse on myself. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be dumping on you."

  "It's okay, I’ve been asking you. Have you ever talked to anyone like you have to me?"

  "No. No one was ever interested in me."

  "So how did you know you liked girls, or when did you find it out?"

  "I used to look at them without really thinking about it, then one time when I was a junior in high school, a girl asked me what I was looking at when she caught me. I was embarrassed, but when I made myself think of it later, I had to admit that I liked girls. I always looked at them, those that were pretty, and loved it, but never paid it any real attention, at least not consciously. I guess I was scared to think about it. Then again, I was scared of most everything."

  "But you never acted on it, or had anyone hit on you?"

  "Not in high school. In my second year of college, I had lots of pretty girls to look at, but thought I was being real secretive about it. One girl, a butch I think, spotted me though, and thought she had me figured out, and tried to hit on me. I literally ran from her. Well, maybe I just walked fast, but I got away as quick as I could, and made myself stop looking."

  "Christ, that must have been hard on you," I said in amazement. “Locking everything up inside of you like that must have been tough to do.”

  "Yes, a bit, I think," Cali said, and tried to grin, failed, then managed a small, self-deprecating smile.

  "I bet going to college was difficult for you, huh?"

  "Not really. I worked for the phone company in the summer after graduating from high school, and they gave me a scholarship for a year. I got another one that I applied for, and my mother was somehow proud to say I was going to college, especially since my brother dropped out of school without finishing his last year, and my sister got married right after graduating high school. Anyway, she gave me money every month, plus I had a job at the library in college, so it was okay. Now I'm giving my mother a hundred a month to pay her back. I think that's the only time she's ever been proud of me. At least I think she was," Cali said uncertainly, thinking about it again.

  "So the club where we met was literally your first overture in our life style?" I asked gently.

  Cali's head bowed, and I thought I saw her fight back tears, but she slowly nodded her assent.

  "Wow! I hope I didn't mess you up," I said.

  "Oh, no, Mimi, no. Not at all. I mean," she tried to say as fast as she could, "I'm glad we met,” she said, her eyes wide with some worry now, or maybe hope, or something else.

  Were Carole and Jessi right? I hoped they weren't. I really liked Cali, but she wasn't my type, and I didn't feel anything like that for her, at least not now, and if I knew myself, never. And, of course, definitely not in one day no matter what Jessi or Carole said.

  "Well, maybe it'll be okay. I've got you meeting some other girls like us, lesbians, but sometimes we get a bisexual that comes in. If we go back, if you liked it," I started to say, but Cali interrupted me.

  "Yes. I liked it there. I did. I was scared at first, especially when Jessi got me to dance, but I liked it. Honest I did."

  "I'm glad to hear that. They both loved you, so if, or when, I should say, we go back, if there are any bi's there, I'll let you know, okay?"

  "Okay," Cali said, not too thrilled by that, it seemed.

  "Have to look out for you if I can. That's what friends do, right?" I quoted Carole, and Jessi, but felt a bit lousy doing it.

  "I guess," Cali said, still not thrilled either herself. "Yes," she added right away, "th
at's what friends are for."

  "Hey, I said just a few minutes. It's been way over an hour."

  "That's okay. You can stay longer if you want to. I don't mind."

  "Thanks, but we've had a long day. You know, we don't work too far apart. Pretty darned close, actually. Would you like to get together for lunch sometime next week?" I asked her without thought, but it felt good to me.

  "Yes," she jumped on it immediately, her eyes bright again.

  We exchanged our work numbers, and I got up to leave. At the door, Cali looked uncertain again, just like on the parking lot when we met. She made as if to hug me again, and like last night, she pulled back timidly, her head lowered. I reached for her, and she came into my arms in a hurry.

  "I had a good time, hun. Thanks for coming with me," I said, and kissed her cheek.

  Cali immediately took it as a signal to kiss my cheek too, but held me a bit more afterward.

  "Thank you again, Mimi. I had a wonderful time."

  I pulled myself gently away, and said good bye.

  Chapter 5

  When I got home, I sat in a hot bath, and leisurely let my fingers do their magic for me. My orgasm was sweet, and I loved it, but then began to wonder why I was so loose, so at ease. I thought that I should be tense, maybe feeling a little desperate in not having Myra's luscious pussy to enjoy as I often did. Being between Myra's thighs with my face buried between her lips was like most women's day at the beach with a pina colada, or the pussy equivalent of one, if there was such a concoction. I could sip on Myra for hours when she let me, which was often, to tell the truth. That woman could take orgasm after orgasm, and still want more, or let me give her more of them. That's what I should be wanting, and a part of me did, but strangely, most of me was very satisfied with my finger action. I didn't even put any fingers in my pussy.

  Whatever the reason, I felt good, and went to sleep, my mind peaceful, and a few thoughts of Cali floating in there somewhere. When she came to mind, I had to remember what she told me about herself, and to wonder at her apparent resiliency. In a way, she was pretty amazing, if I could believe what she said. I believed her, but I couldn't say why. I just did.

  Then those two meddling women, Carole and Jessi, barged into my thoughts as they often did in my life. In a minute, I was smiling. They did love me as I loved them. They were worried about me, and that made me feel good. The next thing I knew, it was morning. I had slept well.

  I spent the day painting a still life, something I seldom did, but it was relaxing, and felt good. I had few thoughts of anything, though I nearly called Cali to see how she was, why I didn't know. As to Jessi and Carole’s thoughts about her and me, I knew that I was Cali’s first friend, and that’s why she stuck with me, but soon she’d have other friends too. That would make her transition to our world easier for her, just as long as she didn’t get too desperate for love in a lover. Carole and Jessi were kind of rare. Well, not really, but it was tough finding a partner and love at the same time, at least if I was any measure of it.

  * * * *

  Cali and I had lunch on Monday, but decided to bring brown bags the next time as it was too time consuming to get our lunch the first time. We did the brown bag thing all through the rest of the week. It took me by surprise that I had done that, but I had to admit that I liked it. She was easy to talk to, and very friendly, not demanding in any way, and smiled easily. And Cali always looked super in her pantsuits that she always wore. I wondered about that, but didn't say anything.

  On Friday evening, we went to another club, 'Just Us,' one that I did frequent before, but one that I knew Myra wouldn't be at since it was a lesbian club too. Of course, lesbian clubs were all I usually went to. We had a good time dancing, and talking. Cali was turning out to be a marvelous friend, easy to get along with, and very congenial. Her dancing was even more markedly improved.

  Later, we talked at her apartment like we had before, but this time there was no hesitancy in Cali when she moved to hug and kiss me good bye. The next evening, we were at Carole and Jessi's again. I felt like a masochist right away as they both lit in on me.

  "I'm glad you're still seeing her," Carole said after we'd been there a bit, and Jessi was enjoying Cali's new dance skills.

  "I'm not seeing her," I said truculently. "We just liked being here, and decided to come again. Are you trying to run us off?" I baited her.

  "If I were, Jessi would kill me. If she did that, she'd have to commit suicide because I know she couldn't live without me, so no, I'm not trying to run you off," she said, grinning.

  I couldn't help it. I had to grin back.

  "Seriously, Mimi, she's adorable. Surely you've seen that already, especially since you two have had lunch all week together."

  "Damn it, that's the last time I tell you what I'm doing, or what's going on with me," I bitched.

  "Yeah, right!" Carole laughed. "God, you're adorable too, and such a lousy liar. Since when could you ever keep your mouth shut with us?" she had her fun with me.

  "You two are nothing but trouble makers all of a sudden," I carped.

  "Of course we are. We're just two old partnered lovers who've had their day, huh?"

  That was rich, and we both broke up laughing.

  "What's going on here?" Jessi came back with Cali, both of them wondering why we were laughing.

  "You know how wacky Mimi gets sometimes," Carole began, beating me to the punch. "She started prattling about heaven knows what, and I got tickled."

  "It sounded like you got more than tickled," Jessi observed.

  "Well, she was a little worse than ever," Carole took her last free shot at me.

  Me? I just stood there smiling inanely, and vowed never to let her beat me to the punch again.

  Later, in Cali's apartment, she asked if Carole was telling the truth.

  "No. She was poking fun at Jessi about something or other, and didn't want to admit it so as not to hurt her feelings, so she dumped it all on me and I let her," I lied, but didn't feel all that bad about it.

  "It was nice of you to let her, I think," Cali offered.

  "Yeah, so what is a friend for, if not to blame them when you need to, eh?" We both grinned, and I was glad to get that out of the way.

  Leaving was easy as Cali hugged and kissed me readily as I did her.

  * * * *

  Cali and I got into a routine. We spent Sundays apart, ate together without fail during the work week, but brown bagging it at the local fountain square while the weather was still good, then going out on Fridays to one club or another, then on Saturdays to dance at Carole and Jessi's house. We did that for about three weeks, and each time I saw Cali, she was in a pantsuit. They all seemed pricey, and fashionable, but always different.

  The last couple of weekends, when we were at Cali's apartment, she felt the need for a shower. Cali started it not wanting to sit and be offending, she said. I took one once, then felt badly about putting my old clothes back on.

  "You can bring some of them over here if you'd like," Cali said, lighting up more warning signs for me. She never did take to any of the other girls she danced with at Carole and Jessi’s, nor would she dance with any that asked her to at the clubs.

  For myself, I still didn't think of Cali as anything but a friend, though Carole and Jessi, along with a couple of others now, pushed at me about being with Cali.

  The next weekend, as Cali and I were talking after going to 'Just Us,' I mentioned the pantsuits. I got more on that, and understood why she wore them all the time, but more than just that.

  "I can wear something else if you'd..." she stopped dead in her tracks as soon as she realized what she was about to say. "I mean, do you think I should wear something different sometimes?"

  "Not if you feel comfortable in the pantsuits, as you seem to," I said, ignoring her near faux pas, and making sure she didn’t see the discomfort that she nearly caused in me.

  "I do. They make me feel good," she said, though somewhat sadly. "But I
can wear something else if you want..." she nearly blew it again. "Uh, if you think it would be better for me."

  "Cali, do you need to talk about why you feel comfortable in the pantsuits? I don't want to intrude if you don't want me to, but you do seem to need to talk about it. Do you? If you do, you know I’ll listen."

  Cali was silent for a moment, her head lowered as it always was when she was troubled.

  "Maybe," she said in a subdued voice that I barely heard.

  "As I said, I'll listen if it will help you out," I said. "You know I will," I gently added.

  What was it about her that drew me to her as if we were magnets attracting each other senselessly? Maybe it wasn't senseless. Carole and Jessi had always been there for me, especially Carole. This is what friends were supposed to do for each other, and Cali was definitely a friend now. There was no doubt about that.

  "I guess so," she said, softly.

  I waited her out patiently.

  "When I was a senior in high school, one of my mother's boy friends caught me alone in the kitchen on a Saturday morning. I didn't know he was up, and I had on a blouse and a kind of flared skirt. He made me feel like running away when he looked at me, but I didn't know I should. It was my house, and I guess I felt that it was okay because of that. I, I mean, I didn't know, Mimi. I didn't know," Cali nearly cried.

  "It's okay, hun," I said softly, fighting the urge to hold her, and dreading what might come next.

  She sat there a moment gathering herself, then gave a big whoosh of forced air when she let out the breath out that she'd been tightly holding in.

  "He said something about me looking nice, and I ignored him. When I moved to get a dish for some cereal, he came up behind me and grabbed me, pinning me to the counter, and began kissing my neck. When I tried to get away, he ran his hand up my skirt, and tried to get at my vagina. It was difficult, but I squirmed away from his hand, and told him that I was going to scream if he didn't let me go. I guess he thought better of it, and let me go. I ran to my room, and stayed there until he left later that afternoon. I was so scared, Mimi. Nobody had ever done anything like that to me. God, I kept wondering, thinking what would have happened if my mother had gone for cigarettes like she sometimes did, or for something else. My brother and sister had already left the house for good."

 

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