"If I don't hear from you again, then I'll know that I tried and when he asks, because he will ask, about his dad, I'll tell him that I tried to tell you about him. I won't ever tell him that you didn't want him because I'd never hurt him like that." Tears stream down her face and I want nothing more than to reach up and swipe them away but I don't. Instead I stay rooted to my chair and stare at her like the fucking dumbass I am. "You've got a choice to make, Eli. So please, for all of our sakes, but especially Ethan's, make it quick."
I'm not sure if I'm breathing or not, this has gone south quickly and I don't know if I'll be able to fix it.
To my utter surprise Melanie places a soft kiss against my cheek. "Please whatever you choose, be happy, Eli." And with that parting message, she leaves.
I don't open the envelope; I'm not sure what's inside but I sure as hell don't want to open it here. I trudge back to the hotel, replaying our conversation over and over in my mind and every time I get to the part where I doubted the paternity of my child I wince. I've always been an asshole, I just never thought I could have reached this low.
As soon as I'm in my room, I open the envelope and once again I lose my breath.
Jesus.
Fuck.
In my hands are four photographs, all of my son. Ethan, that's what she said his name is. There's absolutely no denying that he is my child. He's the spitting image of me when I was young. My throat constricts at the thought of already missing out on so much of his life. I'm not sure how long I sit on the bed and stare at the photographs for, but when I'm finally able to pull myself away, I see a piece of paper sticking out of the envelope. It's a phone number. Melanie's. I fucked up and now I need to find a way to fix it. I call the one person that's not only going to tear me a new asshole but also help me fix things. My mother.
"Color me fucking shocked..." Chance drawls as he reaches for the beer, "My wife comes home and she tells me that she met Ethan's father. The tears she had in her eyes, I was seriously worried. I thought something bad had happened, or worse, that you had hurt Melly..." The softness in his voice when he says not only Ethan's name but also, the nickname he has for Melanie is something I hadn't expected. I knew that he and Aubrey were friends with Melanie, but I didn't realize that they were this close.
"So fuck, when she told me that you were the father, I couldn't believe it. Then I remembered everything that Mel had ever said about what happened between you both and I swear to god, I wanted to hurt you." He shakes his head, the look of absolute disgust in his eyes takes me by surprise. "You know, I've known that girl for years, she's one of the best and you treated her like she meant nothing. Discarded her like yesterday's trash. I expected better from you. Then I heard the shit you spewed today." His fists clench and I'm pretty sure he's thinking about taking a swing. "You're an asshole, Eli." He spits my name as though it's left a disgusting taste in his mouth
I reach for my beer, regarding him over the rim as I bring it to my lips. I called Chance because I thought having someone to talk to would be good, it would help me; that maybe he'd be on my side when I try to fix things between me and Mel. But seeing him now, I see that I have another person to get onside. "I expected better from myself. What I said to her, it was unforgivable. I didn't fucking mean it. My world had been tilted and I lashed out. I shouldn't have done it. I know that. God, I fully expected her to hit me. I would have hit me if I were in her shoes, but she didn't. She just sat there and told me that I had a choice to make."
He chuckles, "Hurt a hell of a lot more than slapping you didn't it?" He's grinning, the asshole's actually enjoying this.
"Yeah, it did." Knowing that I had hurt her, killed me but instead of acting as I thought she would, she was disappointed and even more hurt. "I need your help."
His eyes widen and a slow smile forms on his lips. "You want her back?" He takes a sip of beer, his eyes never leaving my face.
"Fuck yeah, I want her back. As soon as I saw her last night I knew there was no other woman for me. Hell I haven't had anyone since I was with her."
He coughs, spitting the beer everywhere. I reach for a tissue and hand it to him as he continues to cough, looking at me as though he's never seen me before. "You haven't?" I shake my head and that smile he had is back in full force. "So my Melly means something to you?"
I narrow my eyes, "Your Melly?" What the fuck is up with that nickname anyway?
"Yes my Melly, Asshole," he curses. "She's been in my life a long fucking time. When I was trying to win Aubrey back, she was there, helping and cheering me on. She then moved here and ran into Aubrey, since then, she's been part of our family. Hell, I'm Ethan's Godfather." That grin pisses me off. But having him as my son's Godfather is good. I like Chance, he's one of the good ones and he obviously cares about Melanie. "You don't mind?"
I shake my head, "Not in the slightest," I tell him. "I called my mom this afternoon after things went to shit with Melanie. She's dying to meet him and her, after castrating me for being a dick to Melanie."
Chance grins, "Obviously."
I roll my eyes, "I also called my brothers. They're excited to meet Ethan, along with Melanie. Especially Devon. He's been telling me for years that I'm in love with her. Fucking physic."
Chance bursts out laughing and everyone in the bar turns to look at us. "Oh this is fucking priceless."
"Shut it." I growl, "Anyway, they agree with me. We're moving the headquarters of Egan Distillery here, to Los Angeles. We can brew anywhere in the world. I want to be close to my son and woman, my brothers agree. So I need your help to make things right with Melanie."
He's silent for what seems like ages. I've shocked him. "First of all, stop calling her Melanie. She hates it. Everyone calls her Mel. Secondly, you're actually relocating?" I nod at his question, his voice is gentle, a hell of a lot gentler than it has been. "What's going to happen if Mel doesn't want you back?" He chuckles, "Not that you two were ever a thing anyway." There's a fucking reprimand there, but I don't rise to the bait.
I grit my teeth, fuck, I hadn't thought of that. "Then so be it. I want to be near my son. I've missed out on enough and I won't do it anymore."
He smiles as he holds out his hand for me to shake. "Alrighty then. Looks like we need to get you a plan."
"Do you think she's done with me?" I ask, really hoping that he was just fucking with me.
He shrugs, "You hurt her, a lot more than you should have and it pains me to say, that kind of hurt takes a long time to heal."
I sigh, shit. I fucked up. Badly.
"Saying that, the thing about Melly is, she has a big heart and I know that I shouldn't be telling you this but the two of you have missed out on a fucking lot together. She cares about you, probably more than she'd admit. What happened between the two of you four years ago, hurt her. It truly did and it wouldn't have if she didn't care."
I understand what he's saying, and he's given me hope. "Then I'm going to finish this beer then call her. Are you hanging around for a bit longer or are you going home?" I take another sip of beer, feeling lighter than I had when I arrived here. Calling him was the right choice.
He glares at me. "After what you did today, I needed to leave the house. My wife wanted to tear your balls off and because I'm 'friends'..." he actually uses quotation marks with his fucking fingers. "I'm also branded an asshole. So no, I'm going to drink a few more beers, hopefully when I get home she'll have calmed the hell down. She's also drinking wine. Which means she'll be tipsy when I get home and there's nothing like making up when she's tipsy." He grins his playboy smile and I feel a twinge of jealousy. I want that, I didn't know I did, but I do. I want what he and Aubrey have and I want it with Mel.
15
Mel
The tears flow down my face as I clasp my mom's icy cold hand. She’s fought so hard, the doctors hadn’t expected her to last as long as she did, but now, I know that it’s coming to an end. Seeing her lying here hurts me, every day she fades even more. She's a shell of who s
he used to be and I hate it. Her love of life she had is gone, now she's barely fighting to survive. Deep down, I know it's only a matter of time before I lose her, before Ethan loses her and I'm not sure how I'll be able to cope when she goes.
Four years ago, when she got her first diagnosis, she was scared and finding out that I was pregnant, it gave her a purpose to fight, it made her see that she had a long life ahead of her. That she'd be able to meet her grandchild, and she did, Ethan and my mom have a close bond. Now, she's too tired to fight, she's too fragile to leave the hospital, she's no longer the woman I remember and I know she's hurting that I don't bring Ethan here as much as she'd want. But I want my baby to remember my mom the way she was, the loving woman that would hug and kiss him whenever he was within touching distance. The woman that would bake him cookies just for the hell of it and the woman who taught me how to be the best mom in the world. It pains me to have them separated, but ultimately it's the best for Ethan.
"Mel..." Mom croaks and I squeeze her hand, needing her to know that I'm here. "Are you okay? I heard you crying."
"Don't worry about me mom, are you okay?"
Even in her weakened state, she manages to glare at me as she normally would. "Melanie Karlson, don't you dare. Tell me what's wrong."
I debate whether to tell her or not. She's already got enough going on, she doesn't need me to add my problems to hers.
"Mel..."
I sigh, "I ran into Ethan's dad."
Her eyes widen in shock, "Oh, baby, when? Did you tell him about Ethan?"
I squeeze her hand again, "I met him at the event that Aubrey and I went to. He was there with a woman..." I shake my head as the image of her plastering herself against Eli enters my mind. "I asked him to meet me yesterday, I knew it would be hard, but it went worse than I had ever imagined."
Tears form in her eyes, she knows the fears I hold deep, that he'll take Ethan from me and if he tries to do that, I'll break. There's no doubts about it. "What did he say to you?"
I shake my head, "It's okay mom, honestly. I gave him a choice, to choose Ethan or not. He called me last night and he wants to meet Ethan."
She looks at me for a beat before answering, "And how do you feel about that?"
"Happy, it's all I've ever wanted. Ethan deserves to know his father. I just hope that Eli doesn't let him down. I don't want him to feel what I feel when I see dad."
Her tears start falling, "Your dad, he tried his best."
"No, Mom, he didn't. He did what he wanted and threw money at me. He never understood that I didn't want his money, all I wanted was for him to spend time with me without being made to feel like I was an imposition. I won't have that for Ethan. He deserves to feel loved."
She nods, "That he does baby, but you need to realize that your dad loves you."
I shake my head, I don't want to talk about that right now. "This isn't about me and dad, it's about Eli and Ethan."
"What was it like to see him again?" Her voice is soft and full of hope. My mom's a romantic and I know what she's hoping for, but me and Eli, that won't happen. Our focus is going to be solely on Ethan.
I shrug, "It brought back a lot of memories. Ones that I had thought were buried. I snapped at him, I really shouldn't have, but the anger of what happened between us bubbled up and spilled out of me."
"That's okay, baby, you're allowed to have feelings, whether they are angry or romantic..."
I cut her off, not wanting her to get her hopes up. "Mom, there's no romantic feelings between Eli and I."
She raises her brow, "You do realize that it's sinful to lie to a dying woman."
My teeth clench as the tears form at her words. "Mom, please..." Just the thought of being without her is enough to break my heart.
"Mel..." Her voice soft and willowy. "It's coming, baby, I wish it weren't, but it is." Her eyes begin to droop and I know that she's over done it today.
"Rest, Mom, I'll be back tomorrow."
She nods, "Let me know how it goes with Ethan and his daddy."
I get to my feet and place a soft kiss against her clammy forehead. "Of course I will. Love you, Mom. See you tomorrow."
She gives me a weak smile, "Love you too, baby."
Her eyes are closed before I even get to close the door behind me. God, she's right, it's coming and soon if the doctors are right.
The wind sweeps my hair out of my face as I exit the hospital. I need to see my baby and hug him. He's with Chance and Aubrey today; we're having dinner together this evening, but first I have to meet Eli. My nerves start to kick in as I make my way to my car.
Sitting on the bench I watch as Ethan rushes around the playground, his tiny face full of happiness as he takes everything in. When he reaches the slide, there's no hesitation in climbing the stairs and sliding down the tube, his laughter ringing out as he does so. My heart is so full of love watching him have fun. No matter how many times we come here, and it's at least twice a week, his face lights up as though it's the first time.
The groaning of the gate opening pulls my attention off of the little boy climbing once again up the stairs to the slide and I glance at the gate. Striding toward me in another suit is Eli. God, does the man not own anything other than a suit? Not that I'm complaining, I've never seen anyone look as good as Eli does. I'm curious to see if he owns any sweatpants.
"Mel..." He greets me, my name like velvet as it rolls off his tongue and I'm in shock, he called me Mel, it's the first time he's done that.
"Eli..." I return, it's a husky whisper.
He smiles at me as he sits beside me, his arm thrown across the back of the bench, the heat of his arm is too much as it's so close to my neck. I wait for him to say something, but he turns his attention back to Ethan. His expression guarded, I can't read him, I've no idea what he's thinking and it's freaking me out.
Ethan runs over to me, "Mommy..." he yells, that bright smile still on his face. "Drink please."
I laugh as he makes grabby hands at me, I reach for the bag on the ground and pull out his drink. "Here you go baby, are you hungry?"
He shakes his head as he gulps his drink down. "No, mommy, I'm okay. Can I go play again?"
I nod, "Yeah, have fun buddy. We'll be going to Aubrey and Chance's for dinner."
His beautiful green eyes, so much like his father’s, lights up even more. "Really?" he breathes.
I smile, "Really. So, go play."
He thrusts his bottle into my hands and puckers his lips. I don't even hesitate, I bend down and kiss him. "Love you, mommy."
My heart instantly melts, "Love you too, baby. To the moon and back."
He rolls his eyes and I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. Is he three or thirty?
"No going to the moon," he demands and I nod unable to hide my smile. "Bye," he says, giving Eli a small wave as he rushes back to the slide.
"I can't believe it." He tells me and I brace myself for the onslaught that's about to come. His thumb begins to caress the back of my neck and as per usual whenever I'm around him, or he touches me, my skin breaks out in goosebumps. "You've done an amazing job, Mel. Fuck. It hurts knowing that."
I turn my gaze to him and see that he's not once looked away from our son, who's still climbing those stairs to the slide. "Why?"
"It hurts knowing that you don't need me. That he doesn't need me. I thought coming here, I'd find my place. You know? That there'd be some place I'd fit in. But seeing that..." His tone is hesitant, this isn't the man that I've come to know. He's no longer the confident asshole. "The two of you have forged a life alone."
I lean into him, "That's where you're wrong. We did what we needed to be a family. Our family has always included you, Eli. You're his father, there's always a place for you." I turn my gaze back to Ethan, needing to feel in control. Being so close to Eli as well as having this conversation is blurring the lines for me. Ethan is what's important. I take a deep breath and continue, "I've always wanted you to have one. It's why I tried to fin
d you. Ethan needs you and from the sounds of it. You need him."
His arm tightens around me and the touch of his lips against my head has me closing my eyes and leaning into his touch. "Just take your time with him, he's going to love you."
"Yeah?" His voice is soft as his thumb continues to caress my neck.
"Yeah, it's hard not to..." As soon as the words are out of my mouth, he freezes, I don't dare look at him, knowing full well that arrogant smirk is back in full blast.
"I knew it." I don't rise to his bait, "What's he like?"
I relax, we're in territory that I can deal with. "He's amazing. He's so chilled," I look up at him and see his eyes are on me and not Ethan as I had assumed. "Seriously, he's so relaxed. He's fun to be around, he's smart and funny. He's three going on thirty. He hates hugging people and yet, when we're sitting down before bed, he'll climb into my lap and snuggle with me. He loves being outdoors, give him a playground and he'll be happy there for hours. It doesn't matter what he's done for the day, he never runs out of steam. He's just—" I try and find the word, but all that comes to mind is, "—perfect. Utterly perfect."
Eli's gaze intensifies, his green eyes bright with something I can't quite put my finger on. "Just like his mom."
I suck in a sharp breath. God, why did he say that? "This is about Ethan."
"Keep telling yourself that," he retorts and right now, the egotistical executive is back.
"Eli, please. I need you to understand that Ethan is my priority. His happiness is my number one concern. Having you in his life is great, better than great. But, you need to focus on him."
"Mel, trust me, my focus is and will be on Ethan. But that doesn't mean that I'm dead. You're gorgeous, in the past four years, you have been on my mind a hell of a lot more than I care to admit. I fucked up with you and I hurt you. It's going to take some time for me to ease that pain that I caused. But I'm going to do it. Four years apart have shown me just how much I want you."
Egotistical Executive: A Hero Club Novel Page 11