by Aven Ellis
“What?” I gasp.
Matt exhales in frustration. “She figured it out. Reese saw an expression on your face when she was talking about me, and when I couldn’t keep my eyes off you when I was talking to her, she flat out asked me if something was going on.”
Panic fills me. “She knows?”
“I didn’t know what to do, so I said yes, but it’s on the down low. She promised to keep it a secret.”
“But Matt, what if she tells Jordan? And it gets out?”
“You know what? I don’t freaking care anymore. I know what I have with you, and if people find out now rather than later, I don’t give a shit. And that includes Nate. It’s better than this. Because I’m not going to stand here and watch JP flirt with you.”
“You’re wrong about that.”
“You didn’t seem to mind it.”
“Oh my God, I’m not listening to this,” I say, my anger growing. “This is stupid talk.”
“What about you, Holly? You honestly thought I would see one model and throw you over? After everything I’ve told you?” Matt says. “But I should have known you’d go there. Once a piece of trash, always a piece of trash, right?”
And before I can say anything else, Matt storms off.
I’m so angry I could scream. I’m pissed off at him for thinking I could like JP for even a split second. More so after what happened last night between us.
But I’m pissed at myself. I let my own insecurities eat me up tonight, and Matt did nothing to deserve my doubts.
And now he’s leaving for Cincinnati, and we can’t sit down and talk this out like the adults we supposedly are.
“Damn it,” I cry, and I turn around and kick a plastic trash can, sending it over and dumping the contents onto the floor.
Ugh. I’m acting like a child.
But so is Matt so that makes us even.
“You okay?”
I turn around and find Reese watching me.
“I’m an idiot,” I say, bending down to pick up the trash can.
“No, you’re not,” she says. “You were put in an awkward situation tonight.”
Embarrassment fills me. “What about you? I’m so sorry, Reese. I wanted to tell you, but we’ve told nobody an—”
“No, no, I understand,” Reese says, nodding. “You wanted to protect something very important to you. And you don’t know me. I mean, I could have totally posted this to Connectivity and Instagram with loads of hashtags for all you know.”
She flashes me a wicked grin. “But of course I didn’t. I’m saving that for blackmail in case you try to get out of editing my mess of a paper.”
Despite everything, I laugh. “You’re a good person, Reese. Thank you for agreeing to keep our secret. I’m sorry I didn’t feel like I could tell you the truth when we were talking. I wanted desperately to.”
“Don’t say another word about it. Besides, Matt and I never would have worked. He’s too short for me. I have a thing for tall men. He looked taller on the ice, but no, too short. You can have him.” Then she winks for good measure.
“Short?” I ask, incredulous. “He’s like six feet tall!”
“I’m five-eleven. And I love heels. I want to be able to look up to my man.”
I mentally do the math.
JP is 6’4.
Reese could totally wear heels on a date with JP.
Perfect.
But I keep that thought to myself for now.
“So y’all are fighting?” Reese asks.
I can’t help but smile. The y’all shows Reese is definitely a Texan.
“Yeah, but I’m not finished with him. He’s not getting away that easily.”
“Good,” Reese says, nodding.
“I should probably head back,” I muse. “Kenley is my ride home.”
“Yeah, I need to find Jordan. What do you have going on tomorrow? Want to grab coffee? My classes end at two o’clock if that works for you.”
“Sounds good,” I say.
“Okay, I’ll text you tomorrow.”
We walk back toward the lounge and notice some of the WAGS have already left. The players have already gotten on the bus to go to the airport, and heaviness washes over me. I hate that I fought with Matt like that. I wish I at least had the chance to say goodbye on a nice note.
“Hey, there you are,” Kenley says, smiling at me. “Ready to go?”
“Yes,” I say because I want nothing more than to sit down and write Matt what is in my heart.
I pick up my coat and slide into it, and then I grab my tote. I reach inside and retrieve my phone, and when I do, I see I have a new message. From Matt. I hold my breath as I read it.
I’m sorry.
Relief washes over me with his words. I text him back as Kenley and I make our way to the parking area.
I’m sorry, too. I don’t doubt you. I doubt myself.
I hit ‘send’ and wait for his reply, which he sends back almost immediately.
Don’t. Please don’t. You’re my Snow Angel. I can’t imagine you being with anyone other than me. Which is why I went nuts seeing JP hugging you. And that’s stupid because I know you don’t like him like that. I know what we have. But sometimes I’m afraid I’ll lose it.
I get emotional when I see how, once again, Matt is opening up to me. He is allowing himself to be vulnerable, something he’s never felt like doing until he met me.
I text back:
It’s been you since the day I met you. And now that I finally have you, I don’t intend to let you go.
I decide to follow up that message with something funny.
Even when you are Mr. Overreaction Pants.
I smile, knowing he’ll crack up at that.
There’s no overreaction in my pants as far as you’re concerned.
Gah! My face is turning all kinds of red, and I thank God it’s dark so Kenley can’t see it.
Stop.
Matt replies:
You don’t really want me to stop.
I smile and text:
You’re right. In car with Kenley now, I’ll send you a long message when I get home. I already miss you.
His response is fast:
I miss you, too. Be careful going home. Text me when you get in.
I assure Matt I will and put the phone down. I gaze at the Dallas skyline, shining brightly against the velvet-black January sky.
My life is truly beginning now. I have a place to live. I made a new friend in Reese. I’m going to find a job and write my book.
And I’ve found the man I’m going to love forever, as long as he falls in love with me, too.
Positivity radiates through me. I’m on a good path.
The future is bright.
And I can’t imagine anything happening that will change that.
Chapter 21
The Game Plan for January 6th
√Hit the morning hard searching for a job; post my editorial services for university students everywhere I can think of.
√Monitor dwindling bank account. Try not to induce anxiety attack when squinting in terror at number.
√Continue to write emotionally-bonding scenes between Calla and Heath.
√Hide phone in desk drawer so I’m not constantly checking for texts or Connectivity messages from Matt.
√Learn to multi-task around excited anticipation of hearing from Matt. It’s new love. I’m allowed to feel this way.
√Coffee with Reese at 2PM near SMU. So excited for this! Wondering if I should bring up JP. Hmmm.
√Pack up suitcase, move into new place tomorrow. Arrange for mom to ship the rest of my stuff here because I’m staying in Dallas!!!
“Holly, ca
n you help me for a second?” Kenley yells from down the hall.
I pause in the middle of writing a conversation between Heath and Calla. She’s hiding the fact that she’s a fairy from him, and of course, this bomb will drop in the black moment, but for now they are becoming emotionally entangled. Calla has fallen in love with Heath.
Like I have with Matt.
Well, except for the whole secret part. I’m not hiding my identity.
But you are hiding the fact that Nate and Harrison wanted you to help him.
I shove the thought out of my head. No. They asked, but I’m helping him because I want to. And now I’m involved with him, so it’s irrelevant.
“Coming,” I say, getting up from my desk.
Marabou lifts his head from where he has been curled up on the bed sleeping while I worked. He jumps down and follows me down the hall to the kitchen.
“Can you help me load these things into my car?” Kenley asks, inclining her head toward a small plastic bin and stacks of her signature confection boxes. “Then I won’t have to make two trips.”
“Of course.” I find my boots and slip them on over my leggings. I catch a glimpse of myself in the hall mirror—my long brown hair is in a topknot, I have my glasses on, and I’m in a Ravenclaw hoodie and leggings. Oh, I’m so glamorous. So much for the “I’ll be an author who dresses for work each day” I swore I was going to be.
I grab my key to the apartment, scoop up boxes of truffles, and follow Kenley out the door.
“When are you moving into Harrison and Kylie’s house?” Kenley asks as we head to the elevator.
“I’m going to go take a look at it this afternoon to see what I need, but I actually planned on moving in tomorrow.”
The elevator chimes, and we step inside. Kenley turns and smiles warmly at me.
“I bet you’re excited to have your own space, aren’t you?”
“I bet you and Nate are ready for the third wheel to get out,” I tease, grinning.
“No, not at all, we’ve never felt that way. Nate loves you so much,” Kenley says. “And I do, too.”
An image of Nate finding out about me and Matt flashes through my head. How furious he will be, how he’ll explode because, in his eyes, Matt will never be good enough for me. No. I must be having these thoughts because of the parallel lines in my writing. But I don’t want to think about that day. Not now. Not when I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
“I love you guys, too,” I say. “But it’s time for baby bird to leave the nest.”
Kenley adjusts the bin so it’s on her hip and retrieves her cell from her purse. The elevator opens to the parking garage, and we begin walking to the car.
I stop in my tracks.
There’s a brand new car, adorned with a huge purple and white bow, parked in one of Nate’s spots.
The colors for my alma mater, Northwestern University.
“What?” I gasp, staring at the car.
“Surprise!” Kenley yells excitedly.
I turn around, stunned. “What?”
I see Kenley has Nate up on her phone, and he’s grinning at me from what looks like a hotel restaurant. She sets the plastic container on her trunk as she continues to hold the phone so I can see Nate on Connectivity Video Connect.
“That’s your car,” he explains. “It was supposed to be delivered a few days ago, but the ice storm held it up. Congratulations on graduating with honors from Northwestern, Holly.”
“W-What?” I repeat, looking back at the white Volvo XC60. “That’s mine?”
“Yes. I needed to know where you were living before I bought it.”
I stare at the car, stunned. I have a car?
Nate bought me a car?
“I . . . I can’t accept this,” I sputter. “Nate, this is way too much. You already gave me cash as a graduation present!”
“The cash wasn’t the big present I had in mind. Dallas is a driving city,” Nate says. “So you have to take it. Come on, get your keys already!”
Kenley presses the keys in my hand.
“I have a car,” I gasp, staring at the keys. This is really happening.
Another puzzle piece of my life has fallen into place. I have a home. And now I have a car that won’t require a monthly payment.
I scream in joy. “I have a car!”
“Yes,” Nate grins. “It’s your car.”
With shaking hands, I put Kenley’s boxes on the trunk of her car, which is parked next to mine.
My car.
“Oh my God, thank you, thank you, thank you, Nate!” I yell as I unlock the door to the brand-new Volvo.
I slip into the leather seat, shaking as I put my hands on the wheel. I’ve never had a car of my own. I always borrowed my parents’ cars in Minnesota, and in Chicago, I made do with public transportation.
But now I’m the owner of my very own car. I take in the dashboard, with all the latest accessories. The scent of new car and rich leather surrounds me. It’s real. This is really mine.
“I need insurance,” I blurt out, my practical brain coming to life. “I can’t drive this until I get my own.”
Nate laughs. “I knew you’d ask about that. Part of your gift is insurance for one year. And there’s a gas card in the glove compartment, also good for one year.”
I’m going to cry.
“I can’t believe this,” I say aloud.
“You earned this car,” Nate says seriously. “You worked hard at Northwestern. You also sacrificed a lot when I was young for my hockey life. All the time spent at the rink and traveling to tournaments. You never complained how my playing hockey impacted your life. Not once. And now I want to do this for you.”
I blink back tears.
“I love you, Nate,” I say, my voice wobbly. “Thank you.”
“I love you, too. And you’re welcome. I’m proud of you, Holly.”
I hear voices, and then Nate lifts his head up. “Oh, hey, some of the guys want to congratulate you. Hold on.”
I see Harrison and JP on the screen.
“Congrats on the new car,” Harrison says, grinning at me.
“Thanks,” I say, smiling.
“Hi, Holly,” JP says, sitting down at the table next to Harrison. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“Hold on,” a different voice says.
My heart flutters as soon as I hear the familiar sound.
Matt appears on the screen too, squeezing in between Harrison and JP at the table. “Hi, Holly. Congratulations on the car.”
My pulse jumps as I see him. “Thank you,” I say, wishing I could say so much more to him.
“Come on, show it to us,” Matt says, grinning.
“Okay.”
Kenley hands me her phone, and I turn it toward the car to show them the inside of the vehicle. The guys make appreciative comments before I turn the phone back around so I’m facing them.
They’re all looking at me, but I only have eyes for Matt.
“Thank you again, Nate. It’s beautiful.”
Nate turns the phone back on himself. “You’re welcome. Okay, we’re going to eat now. Let me say goodbye to Kenley.”
I reluctantly give Kenley the phone back, knowing that’s the last time I’ll see Matt until he gets back.
Nate and Kenley say I love you and goodbye and then Kenley hangs up.
I get out of my car and hug her tightly. “Thank you.”
“I didn’t do anything but deliver it,” she says, hugging me back. “But you’re welcome.”
I step back from her and sniffle. “I’m so lucky.”
“It’s not luck. You’re a good person. You deserve good things to happen in your life. Now I hate to ru
n, but I’ve got to teach a class on truffles at nine this morning.”
“Let me help you load up.”
I grab the boxes I had stacked on her trunk. We put everything in the backseat, and I say goodbye to Kenley. Then I turn and run my hand over the edge of the car, still hardly believing it’s mine.
I can’t wait to get dressed and take my new car for a spin.
I jog back to the elevator. Once it hits the floor, I put the key in the door and let myself inside. I quickly head to my room, grab my phone, and flop backward on my bed, eager to text Matt. I’ve already received a good-morning text from him when he got up, and we talked while I was still in bed, but now I see a new message from him.
Love the hair and glasses, Snow Angel.
I furrow my brow. What?
Then I remember what I look like this morning.
Gah!
I text him back.
Obviously, I didn’t know I was going to be ambushed with Connectivity Video Connect, a new car, or you this morning. I look hideous.
Matt replies:
You’re beautiful. I’m digging the hair on the top of your head. And you know I always like you better in glasses.
I chuckle to myself and respond:
You are such a liar. You have my permission to use the opt-out clause on our all in agreement. And the hair on top of my head is called a topknot.
He immediately texts back:
I would never lie to you. About anything. And nothing would ever make me use the opt-out clause. PS—Your topknot is adorable.
Guilt consumes me. Here’s Matt promising he will never lie to me, and I have once again lied by omission. I lied by not telling him what Nate and Harrison proposed and how I agreed to help.
You need to tell him the truth, my brain whispers. Tell him it was after I saw those pictures of him with the girl on Instagram. How Harrison and Nate asked for my help to save his career and I agreed, but I wanted to do it as his friend. Tell Matt this all went out the window the second I learned about his feelings for me, that this has never been an arrangement outside of that meeting at the Demons training center. It’s not an arrangement because I love him. I’m exactly where I want to be.