by Cindy Kirk
“We did.”
“I have another story that I’d like to tell you.” When she opened her mouth, he hurried on. “This one involves a promise of secrecy made years ago.”
Curiosity flickered in her baby blues, but she didn’t push, instead taking another sip of wine and nodding to show she was listening.
“When I proposed, Whitney didn’t immediately accept. She told me she wouldn’t be able to give me the children she knew I wanted.” David resumed pacing. “I thought it was because of female problems. She said no, it was something more serious. Before she told me, she made me swear never to tell anyone else. I gave her my word. Until now, I’ve kept that promise.”
“Why tell me?”
David didn’t hesitate. He’d given this a lot of thought.
“I believe, because of our relationship and yours with Brynn, you need the information.” He moved around the table to sit beside her. “I don’t want there to be any secrets between us.”
“Truly, don’t feel like you have to—”
“Have you heard of Huntington’s chorea?”
Hadley blinked. “Isn’t it a neurological condition?”
“It’s a hereditary brain disorder.” In the early years, David had read everything he could about HD. “Whitney’s father died from it. It’s a horrible condition with an ugly death. There is no effective treatment.”
Understanding filled her eyes. “That must be the genetic condition you mentioned that runs in Whitney’s family. The reason she doesn’t want to have children.”
He nodded. “If your parent has HD, you have a fifty percent chance of carrying the defective gene.”
Hadley cocked her head, and he could see her trying to process the information. “Whitney made you promise not to tell anyone she’s a carrier. But why? She can’t help being a carrier, and she did what she felt was best for her by not having children.”
“If you have the faulty gene, you don’t carry the disease, you get it.”
Hadley inhaled sharply. “She has the gene?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. She’s refused to be tested.”
“Living your life under such a dark cloud has to be horrible. I wonder if that’s why she holds herself back from forming attachments.” For a second, sympathy hovered in Hadley’s blue eyes, then they were ice. “While I can sympathize, that information should have been on the adoption application.”
“I agree.” David blew out a breath. “I thought she’d included it. It wasn’t until after the adoption was finalized that she confided she’d deliberately left it off.”
Blowing out a breath, Hadley took a long drink of champagne. “Well, we can’t go back and change the past. When will she know if she has the disease?”
“Symptoms usually start when the person is between thirty and fifty.” David rubbed his jaw. “It will be difficult for Brynn if she gets sick.”
A muscle in Hadley’s jaw jumped. “Is she showing any signs?”
David hesitated. “I didn’t notice anything when she was here over the Fourth. Then again, she wasn’t here long, and we weren’t around each other much.”
Hadley dipped a carrot stick into the hummus, but made no move to eat. “Do you anticipate she’ll change her mind and get tested?”
David was struck by how nice it was to have a meaningful conversation that showed no signs of deteriorating into uncontrolled drama.
“Whitney and I haven’t spoken of HD in years.” David shrugged. “Even when her dad died, she shut me out and refused to discuss what she was feeling.”
“Not talking about it doesn’t mean it isn’t on her mind.”
David nodded. “I sometimes wonder if that’s part of all the partying with friends. When she’s at the clubs, drinking and dancing, she’s simply a young, beautiful woman with her whole life ahead of her.”
“Being in Good Hope had to be difficult for that reason.”
David inclined his head.
“Seeing the happy families could have been a reminder of what might be taken from her.” Hadley shook her head, her eyes dark with sympathy. “Watching children playing and wondering whether you’d be around when your child was ten or fifteen, or looking at your husband and worrying you’d shortchanged him.”
“Maybe.” David’s voice came out raspy, as if he hadn’t used it in a while. He cleared his throat. “I’m not sure Whitney is as self-aware as you think. Or as unselfish in her thoughts.”
Hadley blinked, as if surprised at the coldness seeping into his voice.
“I sympathize, I do. That doesn’t make me blind to her faults. Whitney is a selfish, self-absorbed woman.” He finished off his champagne, splashed more in his glass. “You should know her friend Kim texted me last week, concerned about Whitney’s recent behavior.”
“You stay in touch with your ex-wife’s friends?” The sharpness of Hadley’s tone appeared to surprise her as much as him. “Sorry.”
David tightened his fingers around the stem of the glass. “Whitney is Brynn’s mother. What happens to her affects Brynn.”
“You’re right, of course.” Two bright spots of pink dotted Hadley’s cheeks.
“The problem is, Whitney has a mercurial temperament. That makes it difficult to distinguish between what’s normal and what might be signs of the disease.” David heaved a sigh. “Kim promised to contact me if things deteriorate.”
“It must have been incredibly lonely.”
“What do you mean?”
“Keeping the secret. Not being able to share your fears with your family and friends.” The compassion in her voice stroked and soothed. “Whitney had you. You had no one.”
The concern in her eyes touched him.
“You’re a good father,” she added.
Coming from her, David knew that was high praise.
“I loved Brynn the second I held her in my arms.” He smiled at the memory. “That first month, I was terrified. Every day.”
“Bringing an infant home has to be scary.”
“It wasn’t just that.” He waved a hand. “Birth fathers in Illinois have thirty days to stake their claim. Despite being assured by the attorney that you didn’t know his name and he didn’t know you were pregnant, I worried he’d show up and want her back.”
“About that…”
Hadley had gone pale, and David wondered if she was reliving that difficult time in her life.
“It’s okay.” He attempted to pull her close, but she pushed back.
“No, it isn’t okay.” She gripped his forearms, her eyes dark with distress. “I’ve still been lying to you, David. That ends today. It ends now.”
“What are you talking about?”
“For nearly ten years, I’ve kept what happened the summer I got pregnant locked tight inside me. I convinced myself that not telling anyone the whole story was the only way to keep my daughter safe. But like your promise to Whitney, the truth about Brynn’s father has eaten at me.”
David’s heart stopped beating. Simply stopped. He pulled away from her. “What about him?”
“It’s true Brynn’s birth father never knew I was pregnant.” Hadley twisted her hands together, then lifted her gaze to meet his head on. “I do know his name. I know where he is. I can also assure you that, if by some fluke he discovers he fathered a child, you don’t need to worry about him showing up on your doorstep.”
David raised a hand to his head. The roller coaster was poised for a drop at the top of a hill. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because he’s in prison.”
Chapter 21
Prison.
Several years earlier David had been hit by a two-by-four on a job site. The impact had stolen his breath. He remembered the feeling. The shock. The pain. He felt the same way now.
Brynn’s birth father was in prison. Hadley, despite all her previous assurances to the contrary, not only knew the man’s name but that he was incarcerated.
Details, he needed details. David took several seconds
to find his breath and steady his emotions. “Tell me everything you know.”
Hadley flinched at the no-nonsense tone he’d made no attempt to soften. She lifted her chin. “His name is Justin. My grandparents live in the same small town where he grew up.”
This was far worse than David had imagined. This boy, or man, hadn’t been a stranger, but someone she’d known well. “You knew him a long time?”
“No,” she said, surprising him. “He was several years older. The first time I met him was right after I graduated from high school. I went to North Dakota to spend the summer with my grandparents.”
When she hesitated, David made an impatient go-ahead motion with one hand. He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around what she was saying.
Despite the heat from the now blazing sun, his skin felt numb. The cold went all the way to his bones.
“Justin was home from college for the summer.” Her lips curved briefly. “I was flattered that a handsome college man couldn’t take his eyes off me. It wasn’t long until we were a couple.”
David wondered why the image of Hadley with this man so many years ago bothered him. “Continue.”
She flushed at the brusque tone, but nodded as if understanding the effort it took for him to keep a semblance of composure.
“He swept me off my feet.” Her laugh held a hard edge. “Corny, but true. Compliments. Flowers. A lot of attention.”
Pain filled her eyes, and she glanced away.
The silence lengthened. Finally, David had to say what she’d implied. “You fell in love with him.”
A startled look crossed her face. “I never loved him. While I was flattered and attracted to him, he was too intense for me.”
“Yet, you slept with him.”
“One time, and it…” Her voice trailed off before she cleared her throat. “Just one time.”
David pulled his brows together. The haunted look in her eyes had him reaching for her hand. When he located his voice, it was warm and soothing. “Did he force you, Hadley?”
She hesitated, then slowly shook her head. “I honestly don’t think he heard me say no. By then, we were so far—”
“The son of a bitch.” David wished the man was in front of him now. Though he’d never been a violent man, he wanted to punch him. The guy had no doubt heard her say no. He just hadn’t cared to stop. “I’m sorry.”
Hadley’s fingers trembled in his. “One time was all it took.”
Gaining control of his emotions, David kept his tone low and conversational. “What did he say when you told him you were pregnant?”
“I didn’t tell him.”
“Why not?”
“After that night, he became very possessive. He grabbed me, hard enough to leave a bruise, because he’d heard another guy had been flirting with me at a party.” Her face turned ashen. “He took my phone and scrolled through my text messages. When he saw the guy had texted me, he slapped me.”
David’s fingers tightened on hers. He swore again.
“That’s when I ended it.”
“He doesn’t sound like a guy who’d just walk away.”
Her gaze shifted to a tree with a gnarled trunk. “Flowers flooded my grandparents’ home, followed by dozens of text messages saying he was sorry, insisting he loved me, begging me to give him another chance.”
“Did you give him that chance?” David kept his voice easy, not wanting to upset her further.
“No. There was something wrong with him. He kept it well-controlled, most of the time, but, well, there was something wrong.”
“That’s why you didn’t tell him about the baby.”
“I was already back home by the time I discovered I was pregnant.”
“What did your parents say?”
“Remember, it was just me and my dad. And no, I didn’t tell him.” A twisted smile lifted her lips. “Dad had warned me to keep my distance from Justin Mapes. He knew the family.”
The apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
“You didn’t tell your father because you felt guilty for seeing the guy after he told you not to?” David felt as if he was trying to solve a puzzle that was missing a few dozen pieces. Or maybe his anger over what had happened to Hadley wasn’t allowing him to think clearly.
“I didn’t tell him for several reasons. My dad had a temper, and I wasn’t certain how he’d react to the news. Mainly, I kept quiet because I didn’t want to take the chance that Justin—or his family—would discover I was pregnant.” Hadley cleared her throat. “The Mapes family are big into bloodlines. After what my dad told me about Justin’s father and the out-of-control behavior I’d witnessed with Justin, I didn’t want them anywhere near my baby.”
Brynn. Bile rose in David’s throat as he thought about his sweet, loving daughter being subjected to violence. “You made the right decision.”
Her eyes widened, his comment clearly not expected.
“Brynn’s safety takes precedence over Justin’s right to know.” He cocked his head. “How did you keep the pregnancy from your father?”
“My father had started dating. Our place was small, and though he insisted otherwise, I was in the way.” The light in her eyes dimmed. “My friend had recently moved to Chicago and gotten a job. I told him I wanted to delay college until I had more money saved. He agreed.”
“That’s why you were in Chicago.”
She nodded.
“Did you consider keeping Brynn?”
“I wanted to keep her. I tried to figure out a way to make it work.” Her gaze met his. “But, always, thoughts of what would happen if Justin found me—found us—haunted me. Besides, what kind of life could I give her? I grew up in a single-parent household where there was never enough money. I wanted the best for her. Two parents who would love and cherish her. A happily married couple who could give her the kind of life I couldn’t.”
David didn’t know what to say. Despite Hadley’s best effort, Brynn lived in a single-parent home with an absentee mother. The exact fate Hadley had hoped to avoid. “Justin has never found out.”
“No.”
“Why is he in prison?”
“The violent tendencies I’d glimpsed in North Dakota apparently evolved over the years. Five years ago, he was charged with aggravated criminal sexual assault. He was sentenced to twenty-five years in Joliet.”
“How do you know this?”
“I keep tabs on him.”
David arched a brow.
“Trust me, it’s not because I care.” She didn’t bother to keep the disgust from her voice.
“Do you have any idea when he’ll be eligible for parole?”
“Not for another sixteen years.” Her smile was fierce. “In Illinois, that charge requires the criminal serve eighty-five percent of his sentence. By the time he gets out, Brynn will be an adult.”
“That’s a relief.” David searched her face. “Why not tell me this before, Hadley? Did you think I wouldn’t understand?”
She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. “I’ve done everything possible to keep Justin from knowing about Brynn. I believed not telling anyone was the only way to keep her safe.”
“Why tell me now?”
“The same reason you told me about Whitney.” Those beautiful blue eyes met his. “I don’t want lies between us.”
David closed his eyes for a second, fighting for composure. “Thank you for trusting me, for being honest with me and for caring for Brynn.”
“I love her.”
Simple words could say so much. Explain so much.
“She loves you, too.” He tightened his hold on her hand. “You did an unselfish thing, allowing her to be adopted.”
“I thought it was best, but…” A haunted look filled her eyes. “What’s she going to think when she discovers I gave her up?”
“You didn’t give her up.” David emphasized the phrase used all too commonly in these situations. It was simple semantics, he thought, but words held power. Gi
ving up a child implied a lack of value, and David knew how much Hadley valued Brynn. “You went to great lengths to place her in a loving family. You wanted to make sure she was well cared for.”
“What if she asks about her birth father?” Hadley asked quietly.
“We tell her the truth.”
“No.” Hadley shook her head vigorously, panic blanketing her face.
David kept his tone level. “We won’t lie to her.”
“If she knows, she could tell someone.” Fear had Hadley’s words coming out in a rush. “I know it seems like a long shot, but think of that six-degree thing. Justin is incarcerated, so he’s out of the picture for now, but like I said before, bloodlines matter in his family.”
“All good points.” David watched the stiffness ease from Hadley’s shoulders at his agreement. “But his family has no claim on her. I’m certain there is a way we can answer Brynn’s questions honestly without giving information that could bring Justin’s family to our doorstep.”
Hadley expelled a shaky breath.
“We won’t give her his name. We’ll tell her she can know his name when she’s old enough to make decisions about what to do with the information.” David tapped his fingers against his thigh as he considered. “For now, we’ll leave it that her birth father was someone you once dated. Period.”
“I could say he’s not a nice man.”
David hesitated, then shook his head. “Wouldn’t that spawn more questions? Like, why you’d be with someone who wasn’t nice?”
“I didn’t think of that.” Hadley pulled away, flinging out her hands in frustration. “The problem is, I don’t know what is the right thing to say.”
“We’ll figure out something.” He kept his gaze steady on hers. “There’s a new child psychologist in town. We could speak with him. If we feel comfortable after visiting with him, you and I will talk with Brynn.”
“Are you really okay with telling her who I am?”
“I want her to know what a strong, brave, wonderful woman she has for a mother.” Then David did what he’d been wanting to do all afternoon. He kissed her.
Hadley and David met with Dr. Gallagher that afternoon. The psychologist had had a last-minute cancellation and was happy to fit them into his schedule.