She shivered and pressed her newly freed breasts against his shirt. Something about the concept of Urs naked, on his bed, while he was clothed—he swallowed—he’d never been so hard in his life. If she was indeed going to kill him there was no better way to go.
Jay cupped her chin, bent down and drank her in. The way she always parted for him, welcomed him; lavender and cherries, the best of summer, that was Urs.
“Cloves,” she murmured, “and cherries.”
“What?” He stared at her.
“Cloves and cherries, with some mint and whiskey, that’s what you taste like.”
Mint was hygiene and whiskey was obvious.
Cloves, that was new, but cherries, like she’d read his mind? Like they were one already?
His heart began to pound. His. She was his. They matched—no matter the surface—they matched. Right or wrong they matched.
“Is that a good thing?” He kissed each lid. Her lashes fluttered under his touch, tickling his lips.
“It’s the best thing.”
He fought the urge to pinch himself. It must be a dream, though if it was, damned if he was going to wake up, he’d stay there forever, live there if he had to.
She slid backward so she was fully on the bed and tugged him down by his necktie.
Urs licked her lips before running a hand over his chest. She was magnificent, and she wanted him, wanted to please him as much as he wanted to please—he blinked. He removed her palm and placed it at her side.
Jay slid his fingers down her cheek as her eyes widened, pleading with him. She had no idea. She had no bloody idea who she was to him. He skittered his thumb down, past her navel, low enough for her to gasp before brushing the cloud of tangles to the side once more so he could view her entire face, watch every reaction.
“Urs, do you trust me?”
“Completely.” There was no hesitation, not even a pause. Her voice was clear and neutral as if she recited a fact.
His stomach knotted. Pressure stung behind his eyes. He was so inadequate in so many ways, but now, in this moment, he was going to have to be everything, give her every gift he could.
He inhaled. “I mean do you really trust me?”
Urs wrinkled her nose and squinted at him.
“To drive me in a carriage? To invest my money? What sort of trust?”
He bit back a laugh. Such an Urs answer. Damned though if it didn’t make his trousers tent further.
Jay grimaced. How exactly would she react to the next suggestion? He’d never actually done it. In his previous encounters there’d always been mutual understanding, but never trust.
However, in the here and now, with Urs, he craved nothing more. Despite the wrongness, the impropriety, the danger, the idea and its rightness for them, in that moment wouldn’t leave him. His breath hitched.
“To permit me to tie you up, Urs.”
She shrugged, lifting those magnificent breasts in the motion so his body throbbed. He couldn’t help himself. He reached down and grasped, just one. She cried out and her back arched.
“For what purpose? Don’t you trust me? I mean I’m not particularly experienced, but I’m not sure I need to be taken completely out of the equation.” She managed the words amidst a moan. He flicked the nipple with his tongue, thrilling as she writhed.
“I trust you very much and you may not have much experience, but skill-wise you’re a bloody near virtuoso.” Jay kissed the side of her neck. Her skin was like velvet. He could devour her, and to be able to do it how he wanted. He breathed in slowly, filling his lungs. He need to extend the pleasure, make the moment last as long as possible.
Urs tugged his arm and placed it back on her breast. She was so very delightful, not helpful to his stamina, but delightful.
“Then why?” She ran her fingers through his hair, drawing him closer, his skin tingling from her touch. “It’s not that the concept isn’t fascinating, but if you were to do that, I wouldn’t be able to do anything for you.”
Her voice contained confusion still, but far more curiosity, and certainly no fear—a good sign. Also, the way she’d moved her hands—all the way down his back—no, focus on her.
“That’s precisely the point, Urs. You do enough.” He kissed her forehead again.
How could he explain?
“I don’t want you because you can save me from Katherine Morris or one of her ilk, or because you can do the books for Truitt Industries better than any man we’ve ever hired, or even because I’m two moments from the best bloody release I’ve ever experienced every time you touch me.” He raked his free hand through those long golden curls, snagging against the silk sheets. “I want you because you’re you and that’s all. You don’t need to be or do anything else. That’s enough. You’re enough, every honest, optimistic inch of you. And I want to prove that to you.”
His eyes misted as he stroked her cheek. The catch in her throat reverberated through his hand. God, he loved her. He might not have the courage to say it right, but he could show her.
Her brows pinched. “I’m not an optimist. I’m practical and blunt and negative.”
He touched a finger to her lips. “You always give maximum effort—even when you doubt—like with my poker lessons. Even when you fail, you try over and over again. To you, no situation is truly hopeless. You’re ready to forge new and reckless paths, damned the consequences. If that’s not optimistic I don’t know what the word means and it’s beautiful, Urs.”
She bit her lip. Did he do something wrong? Her eyes, the blue, it shimmered beneath a growing pool. Bloody Hell, he’d ruined everything.
Urs smiled. “All right. Yes. Let’s forge a new path. What are we waiting for?” The words still contained tears, but they were enough.
He glanced around, spying her discarded corset. The ties would do. At least the headboard appeared sturdy.
Jay rushed to the window to close the curtains and light every candle. Foolish, but the darkness, seeing her in the glow—they could be anywhere, any place, any forever.
He secured her, and his heart flopped like fish on a line, batting his tonsils, while her breath didn’t even hitch. Trust, complete trust. He’d never deserve it, but he was so greedy for it. He steadied his hands.
“Now, where were we?” He climbed back on the bed, his tongue teasing her nipple once more; this time though, he slid his other hand down the front of her torso, lower and lower until he needed to part her legs.
He shuddered with pleasure. She was warm and ready for him. Just for him. Urs arched her back again and gasped. “Wait.”
“You don’t like that? Remember, you can tell me to stop at any time.” He raised an eyebrow and paused with the tips of his fingers just at her opening so she moaned in frustration. He had to close his eyes for a moment. Lord, she was beautiful when she did that.
“I love that but—” She bit her lip, her mouth, still swollen from his kiss, pursing into an adorable frown. “I don’t want to stop, but before we do more, I just want to say—I don’t want to—I want to with you inside of me.”
Jay stifled a groan. She needed to be silent. Talk like that was dangerous, he was going to explode if she kept this up.
“Provided it’s acceptable to you, I intend to take you on that journey multiple times this afternoon.”
She bit her lip again. “But isn’t that, well, selfish on my part?”
It was as if someone twisted his chest. How could she think like that? How could she not see the pleasure she gave him by just being there, with him? He was going to have to show her, teach her. Even if it took years. He’d find a way to let her know.
“Hence the corset strings.” He gave the ties a yank. “An excellent idea if I don’t say so myself.”
Jay ran his hand under her body, losing his reason for a moment as he traced each soft curve. Just a small pinc
h. Oh, her squeal, her breathy squeal, that would be in his dreams for eternity.
“I believe they’re called laces.”
“Yes, perhaps.” He returned to her breasts.
Urs trembled beneath him—captivating. Every sound, every movement lighted his spirit.
And she was so fun. Just one lazy circle here or there and she’d bring the entire house to the door—a very useful piece of information indeed.
Jay grazed her with his teeth and was rewarded with his name on her lips.
“You’re not permitted to think about anything right now. You’re certainly not supposed to be supplying me with facts, necessary or un. You’re supposed to permit me to be the boss, at least in this moment. Partnership isn’t a balance sheet, Urs. This is what I want too.” He moved his hand back between her thighs, this time pressing on her bud with his thumb, reveling in her gasp. “Now, what you can do is give me just a little more access...”
He slid himself off the bed and settled between her legs, her long, beautiful legs. He trailed his tongue from her inner knee all the way to her hip bone and halfway back. Her skin against his—he’d permit himself to starve if he could just stay there with her.
Jay nipped, eliciting a shriek. He was permitted to indulge just a little too, wasn’t he?
He tore himself away, so he could crawl back up and place a finger to her lips. Just a few more minutes of teasing, of relishing in—well, her, in all of her.
“Do you need something to bite down on? A towel perhaps?”
He lavished her skin from her neck to her navel, delighting in the sounds once more. He’d never seek to silence her, no matter how much he joked. Though an empty house would’ve been more advantageous.
He kissed one hip, then the other. Urs rocked her body towards him, each time. His lips blazed a path down the edge of the bone all the way along the seam of her thigh, so close, so very close. It took all his self-control not to taste her then and there.
She parted her legs wider for him. He grinned, even through his own pulsing need.
His. She was his and he was hers. At least in the moment.
She craved him and his touch, as much as he craved hers, well almost. No one could hunger for anyone that much.
“Tempting, Urs, very tempting, but not quite time.”
Instead, he dropped further to his knees, used the lightest touch of his tongue he could, just behind each perfectly formed kneecap.
Her moans and shrieks took on a decidedly frustrated tone. He was rewarded with full blown oaths when he made tiny circles on her inner thighs and pulled back again and again.
“Language, Urs. One would think you worked on a wharf. Where would a lady such as yourself have ever heard such things?”
“Why are you so smug? So bloody smug?”
She laughed though. She liked it. She liked him, even at his most improper and unbecoming the heir to the Truitt fortune. Even tied to the bed at his complete mercy—she enjoyed herself, and him. He ran his tongue over the edge of her ear, catching the lobe between his teeth.
“Because you like it, don’t you, Urs?”
The sound she made was confirmation, but it wasn’t enough. He had to have more. The words, he had to have the words.
“I don’t think I understood that. You’ll need to be a little more clear. Tell me, Urs, you like it, don’t you?”
He moved lower again, his lips against her neck and his fingers, exactly where they should be. He stroked in and out, not too fast, but enough to make her pant.
“Yes. Bollocks, Jay. Yes, I like it. I like everything about you, even the obnoxious things that should be odious, but are somehow attractive, somehow makes my...”
He knew. Oh, he certainly knew, and he was going to lick that area until she forgot her own name in a moment, but to hear her, Ursula Nunes, say it—
“Makes your what do what, Urs?”
Withdrawing his fingers, Jay nestled between her legs again, whispering the question so his breath hovered. He wouldn’t touch until she said it, but he’d make her shiver.
“Makes—you really want me to say it?” Her voice was air.
Her muscles tightened below him. Delightful. He repeated the action.
“Very much, yes.”
Urs’ body bucked and she parted her legs wider. The power she gave him, the trust—intoxicating.
“It’s improper and unseemly and...” The words were more of a whimper.
He grinned. Since when did she concern herself with propriety? At least within her family’s walls?
“I know.” This time he couldn’t resist one more tiny nip to her thigh. Another frustrated, desperate little noise.
“I’m waiting, Urs.” Jay gripped her leg, lowering himself just a fraction closer.
She moaned. “Makes me all, well, wet and dripping, all because of you. Every time, not only when you touch me, but when I just look at you and you say something idiotic and—”
The rest didn’t matter. He was like a man possessed. He had to send her over the edge, be the one who gave her that gift again, prove to her even if he’d never be good enough that she was and if he’d be permitted, he’d be content to—he had to let her know the way he saw her and he had to taste her in earnest. Summer, Urs would forever be summer for him.
He twirled his tongue inside her, before he worked the area above. She writhed, but he held her firm, giving her everything he had.
Too soon the shudders came, accompanied by the best sound of all, his name on her lips, over and over and dangerously loud. Her poor cousins weren’t going to be particularly innocent anymore.
Jay flopped himself next to her and busied himself with her outer arm. Was there a part of her that wasn’t pleasing, and soft, and enticing, and perfect? Well, perfect for him?
“And you enjoy hearing things like that?” There was mocking in her tone beneath the gasps.
He tapped her nose. “No, I love hearing things like that, especially from you. Though to be fair, I love just about everything you say. However, it is such a shame that your hands are occupied because I’d give you a demonstration of what you’re doing to me right now.”
Damned if she didn’t lick her lips. Dream. Had to be a dream.
“Let me guess, it involves you being quite swollen.” Urs squirmed against him.
He snickered. Interesting choice of words, apt but...
“Swollen? Yes, though that wasn’t the word I was thinking of. I was thinking of something more flattering, manly.”
She threw her head back and laughed. If he could only bottle that sound somehow.
“Honestly? Manly? What sort of word might that be?”
He stroked down her body once more. She turned to him, as much as she could, her leg snaked around his back, pulling him into her body. She was going to drive him mad. He groaned. Why was he still wearing so many clothes again? Blast. He wanted too much with her, needed so much—terrifying.
“Beg for me, Urs. Tell me you want me as much as I want you.” He gripped her breasts again.
“I—Jay—please.” She quivered beneath his touch. “Please, Jay. I need you. Tup me, Jay.”
Jesus. She knew that word? For a woman who spent most of her days with tutors, she had a surprising vocabulary. Swollen wasn’t the half of it.
“Soon,” he whispered in her ear. “But first, I require a few more details.”
With his remaining fortitude and sense, he lifted himself from the bed. The trousers were easy. He’d strained against them for so long freedom came with a sigh of relief. As for his shirt, well he could purchase a new one. He still had his allowance.
Her eyes though, the entire time, her eyes were on him and the encouraging lust thrown in his direction—well, they were both lucky he wasn’t her age. He recovered quite a bit quicker at twenty-one.
Almost a
decade. How could he have lived almost an entire decade on an earth without her being in existence? How was such a thing possible?
Jay ferreted in the drawer for a condom before he returned to the bed.
“What are you thinking? What do you want, Urs?”
“You.” Her eyes never left his.
That moment, if he could die right there, it would have been enough. How could he ever tell her, ever express how she made him feel?
“Specifically. I want you to say it. I like to hear you say it. I want to know every detail.”
“I want you to lose control.” Her voice was louder, more resolute.
Bloody. Hell. She wanted that? No, no, no, she was intended to be cherished and worshiped. And she was young and naïve and inexperienced.
“Urs—”
“You asked if I trusted you. I told you yes. I trust you with everything. I know you would never force me to do anything I didn’t absolutely want, never hurt me. You’d deny your own pleasure before that. I want you to trust yourself enough to take instead of give.”
Her eyes were serious, grave, steady. He moved his hand down her chest. Her heart thumped against the pressure, echoing his own. Her eyes though and her face were calm.
“Please, Jay. Please. Want me like that.”
And he couldn’t say no. He could never say no to that. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers before kissing her again. Cherries. She’d said it too. That meant something, didn’t it? She trusted him, so he could—he filled his lungs.
“All right. I’m going to need to untie you though.”
“So, I shall be permitted to help?” Urs quirked her lips in the most seductive manner possible.
The room spun, and he had to steady himself. Jay untied the binds but held her hands in place with his. Her slender wrists almost fit in one palm.
“I didn’t say that.” He shook as he leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Turn over, Urs.”
A slow smile crept over her face. She obeyed, sliding to the edge of the bed. He swallowed. How in the world did she know to do that? Had she read his boyhood journal?
Appetites & Vices Page 20