I left Gabby and Brodie in the house and found Mel sitting on the swing with Lena. She was still crying. I felt like a jerk. I slowly strolled over to them. Lena got up, placed her hand on my shoulder, and smiled at me then went inside.
I stood in front of Melody. “Mel, I’m sorry. I’m a jerk. “It’s mine, isn’t it?” Please say it’s mine, I pleaded silently.
She nodded. My stomach tightened. Half with excitement and happiness, and half with fear.
“You were never with Alex, sexually I mean.”
“No.”
“When I told you that I hadn’t been with anyone since you, why didn’t you tell me then that you hadn’t been with Alex?” I thought back to kissing her. Wishing I could kiss her right then and make everything better. Wishing I could hold her in my arms and take back all the references to Alex that I had made.
“Because you never gave me a chance, you started kissing me and…and then we were…you know, deep into it again. It slipped my mind.”
“And after?”
“Alex was the last thing on my mind, and I didn’t think it was necessary.”
“Not necessary? How could you let me go on believing that you’d slept with Alex when you hadn’t?”
She closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath. “I didn’t know you thought I had. Not really. And I didn’t know I was pregnant, okay? I never thought I needed to tell you that I hadn’t slept with someone because why even mention something that didn’t happen and it really wasn’t any of your business…until now. And anyway, I did try to tell you, but you kept kissing me and then…and then…I don’t know, Ash, my mind turns to oatmeal when you’re kissing me and I didn’t want to think about Alex.”
I wanted to laugh at that but managed to stifle the smile. God, she was adorable. I simply nodded and sat down on the swing next to her, stunned silent.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Melody
When Asher accused Alex of getting me pregnant, my whole world collapsed. It was as if he’d completely discarded the fact that we’d had one, let alone several sexual encounters recently—the last that very afternoon.
He sat down on the swing beside me and I kept waiting for him to say something. But other than him asking me about why I hadn’t told him about something that hadn’t even happened, he hadn’t uttered a word. In the house, he’d talked about some girl in high school that he’d been very willing to help, but when it came to his own mistake, he didn’t seem capable of acknowledging it let alone helping me. It was all too much to bear. I guess, Shannon Bright had been lucky to have a mom so understanding. I doubted mine would be so accepting of something like this. First, she loses her only son in a horrific car accident, and then her only daughter disgraces her by getting pregnant. By the guy who doesn’t want anything to do with her.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I got up and headed down the steps. I didn’t want to look at Asher. I could tell by the way he was acting that he didn’t want me or the baby. God, what was I going to do?
I headed up the stairs to the cottage we were renting. I unlocked the door and walked inside. The bed was still down and the covers still bunched up in the middle. As much as I wanted to burrow myself into them and cry—possibly sleep—for about five hours and forget about the world, I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to get on the bed—the bed that Ash and I had just made love on less than three hours ago—and snuggle into those sheets and covers that I knew would smell like him.
I opened my suitcase that sat on top of the wooden luggage rack. I pulled out my yoga pants. I wanted to get out of my jeans. Not that they were too tight, yet, I wasn’t that far along. But they were a bit uncomfortable considering my stomach was at war with everything I put into it. If this were an indication of what type of child I was carrying, I was really in for a world of trouble. A single mom with a warrior to raise. Great. Just what I always wanted. Though, it was Asher’s warrior, and even though he didn’t want me, the idea that I’d always have a part of him started to sink in.
I was so tired. Before changing into my yoga pants, I decided to take a bath and ran some water in the tub. Maybe a soak in some warm water would make me feel better. As I sank down into the steamy water, I instantly began to relax. Yes, this was exactly what I needed.
I half expected Asher to follow me upstairs, but I was glad he hadn’t. I needed to be alone to collect my thoughts. This was a lot to process. I was going to have a baby. I was twenty-one years old. I could do this. My mom had been twenty when she had Ted, and by the time she was twenty-two she’d had me. But she’d had one important thing I didn’t have. A loving husband. Well, at the time anyway. My dad wasn’t in our lives much these days. I wondered how he would take being a grandfather. Would he be accepting, or would he be ashamed of me and think I was irresponsible. I had been irresponsible. Forgetting to take my birth control pills had been very irresponsible. No wonder Ash was so upset. He’d had sex with me thinking everything would be fine. It was supposed to be a one-night thing. He’d wanted to be my first. Saying he was my best friend and had known me his whole life. That it should be him. I had even told him I was taking the pill to ease his mind, though he already knew I was on them. He knew everything about me. Why had he doubted me about Alex, though?
After soaking in the tub and donning my stretchy yoga pants and a t-shirt, I gave in to the lure of the bed and bundled myself up in the covers. A few minutes later, I heard the door open. I felt the dip of the mattress beside me as Asher’s hand gently grazed my shoulder. I opened my eyes. “Go away,” I said.
“Mel. Come on. We need to talk about this.”
“No. I don’t want to talk to you. Not now, I’m too tired. Please, Asher, just go away and let me sleep.”
I turned over to face the other way and closed my eyes. The last thing I remembered after that was hearing the door close. The room fell silent with just my own frustrating thoughts and me to fill it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Asher
I’d sat outside on the swing for about forty-five minutes, getting up the nerve to go up and talk to Mel. I’d been a complete ass. I didn’t know how to fix that. I didn’t think there was a way. How do you take back accusing the woman you’ve known your whole life of sleeping with someone she never slept with? Accusing him of being the father of your child.
After Mel had told me to leave the cottage, I closed the door and just sat at the top of the stairs. I didn’t know where to go.
I didn’t feel right going into Brodie’s house. The three of us still needed to talk, but I wasn’t ready to talk about brothers, not now when I had to deal with being a father.
“I’ve been there.” I looked up to see Brodie standing a few steps below me. He took the last two steps up, sat beside me, and handed me a beer. I took it. Mostly because my throat was raw and my mouth was as dry as sandpaper.
“Thanks.” I took a large swig.
“Sure.” He drank some from the other bottle he held. “I know what you’re going through,” he said. “I was wrong before when I called your mother irresponsible. Brothers or not, you didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said.”
“No, it’s not.” He sighed. “I’d gotten a girl pregnant shortly after we graduated from high school. Talk about irresponsible. I was so irresponsible on so many levels. To make a long story short, it didn’t turn out very well. She didn’t tell me she was pregnant until after she’d had an abortion. She never gave me the opportunity to want to be a part of her and the baby’s life.”
I had the beer bottle up to my lips to drink but stopped. He’d caught me completely off guard with that one.
“Wow. That must have been tough.”
“Yeah. It took a long time to get over. Even though my experience is very different than yours and Mel’s, I thought it might help to know that I sort of know what it feels like. At least the irresponsible part.” He laughed.
“Mel won’t even talk to me after what
I accused her of. How could I be so stupid and actually think it was someone else’s? She’ll never forgive me for that, and I wouldn’t blame her.”
“I don’t know, Ash. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. That look doesn’t happen unless there’s something there.”
“One can only hope.”
“Listen, about this brother thing...”
“Don’t worry about it. As soon as Mel is ready, we’ll leave and get out of your life.”
He shook his head. “It’s always been just Jackson and me. I feel sort of cheated, you know?”
“What do you mean?”
“Our dad. He told you about us, but he never told us about you. You’ve known for practically your whole life that you had brothers. You knew someday you’d meet them and you’ve been preparing for it. Things you might say, or how we might meet, possibly even looking forward to it. Maybe not consciously, but you know you have. Us, at least me, I’d never considered the possibility of having another brother. So I’ve never had that opportunity to wonder about you. You were a kid when he told you. You must have ached to know us, especially back then.”
He was right about all that. I’d cried myself to sleep many nights, wishing I could be with the two big brothers I didn’t know, yet admired. Eventually, my admiration turned to anger. Anger that they had each other and I had no one. But I kept all of that to myself. Maybe someday I’d say it all out loud.
“You sort of had an advantage over us. Coming here, introducing yourself, meeting us without letting on who you were. You had an opportunity to assess us before telling us who you were.”
“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell you. I wasn’t sure how to.”
“Doesn’t matter. I would have done the same thing.” He downed the rest of his beer. “The more I think about it, though, I guess you’re at the disadvantage now.”
“How so?”
“Well, now, you’re waiting on our approval of you.”
One thing he didn’t know. I’d been waiting for that my entire life. But I nodded.
“Go snag your guitar and let’s go down and play some tunes.”
Brothers or not, playing music was what I did to calm my nerves, and this entire day called for some serious jamming. I stood and opened the door slowly, careful not to wake Mel. I wanted to talk to her so badly. I peeked at her, resting peacefully, her chest moving up and down in precise increments, each breath giving life to my child.
I grabbed my guitar and quietly left her sleeping.
Brodie was halfway down the steps when I came out. We strolled in to the living room. Jackson sat in the chair, strumming away, and Lena sat at the piano. They were playing an old Bob Dylan song, Forever Young. Jackson glanced up and smiled as he sang harmony with the ladies. Gabrielle, who’d been sitting with Lena at the piano, stood and walked over to Brodie. He kissed her before reaching for his bass guitar. I took a seat on the sofa where I’d been before and took my guitar out of its case. I fell in without missing a beat. It was as if we’d been playing music together our whole lives.
When we finished that song, Jackson strummed a few chords of the next song without saying what it was, but I recognized it right away and kept up with him. He motioned for me to take the lead and I sang the words to Eric Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight. As I started the second verse, Mel opened the door and walked in. Our eyes met and we stayed focused on each other. I swear it had to have been fate for her to enter right at the moment I was singing her favorite song, but this time, I sang it right to her, because she was beautiful.
She stood, listening to me sing.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Melody
I hadn’t been prepared for the emotions that overpowered my heart as I listened to Asher sing my favorite song. I knew he knew it was my favorite, and the way he stared at me had goosebumps flowing up and down my arms. I didn’t want to be mad at him, but I couldn’t just turn off my feelings like that. His accusations about Alex had really hurt. He might be gorgeous, sitting there singing and playing his guitar, but he needed to take responsibility for things. However, I wasn’t about to beg for his help. I’d come to terms with my situation while I’d slept and I knew I’d be able to deal with it all on my own if I had to.
The next week flew by, and Asher was getting to know his brothers as they had come to terms with him. It was great the way Jackson and Brodie had accepted Asher as their brother. I was glad for him, though I missed my own brother so much, particularly now that I knew I was going to have a baby. Teddy would have made a great uncle. I smiled thinking about that and then the tears came. Would Ted be upset about this? I didn’t think so. He’d hinted so many times that Ash and I should be together. But I’m sure he hadn’t imagined it turning out this way.
Ash played in the band with the Beaumont brothers in the bar, and after Jackson had introduced Asher as their little brother, the entire town embraced Ash as one of them with no questions asked.
Asher finally had everything he’d ever wanted. His brothers’ acceptance and what looked like the beginnings of a loving relationship with them.
Brodie and Jackson really were great, and I was happy for Asher.
Though, my own life was a mess. Ash and I hadn’t come to terms with the situation we were in, and we were barely speaking. This pregnancy was like adding oil to a fire. My mind was already so messed up from Ted’s death, adding an unwanted baby into it only made things worse. Correction, unwanted by one of us. I was scared as hell, but the more I got used to the idea, I wanted a child—Ash’s child—more than anything. I had dreams about whether it was a boy or a girl. I didn’t care either way, but I pictured a little Asher every time I thought about a baby boy.
Nothing in my life was turning out the way I’d imagined it would. I’d spent so many days growing up daydreaming about Ash, wishing we could have the relationship we’d promised each other when we were kids. I certainly hadn’t planned on having his baby without him being a part of it. The way he’d acted hurt so badly, and I hated him for it. I just couldn’t forgive him. Whenever he tried to talk to me, I either walked away or put my headphones in my ears. After about three days of that, he stopped trying. It made staying in the cottage difficult, and Brodie told Asher he was welcome to stay in the guest room they had in the main house. Ash took him up on it almost immediately. That only made me hate him more. He didn’t even want to try anymore it appeared. So it was as if I was living in that one-room cottage over the garage of strangers by myself.
God, I couldn’t wait until I could go home and be in my own apartment and not have to deal with Asher. I’d considered taking a bus home, but I didn’t have the money, and there was no way I was asking Asher for it. I stayed up in the cottage most of the time. I only left it when Lena or Gabby came up and asked me to go for a walk or have some tea with them. They’d become my salvation. Always making sure I was okay and including me whenever they went somewhere or just inviting me down to visit with them. A lot of times, we went to Lena’s house just so we wouldn’t run into Asher. They knew I was avoiding him, though they’d told me several times that even though they understood why I wasn’t talking to Asher, they thought I should at least hear him out. But I wasn’t ready to yet.
I was ready to go home though. Don’t get me wrong. I loved hanging with Lena and Gabby. In the short amount of time that I’d known them, they’d become as close as sisters. But…I woke up missing my mom. She was going to be so pissed at us. Yes, I included Asher in that too because I knew how much she considered Ash a part of our family. And she’d been Nora’s best friend so Ash was like another son to her.
Even though I was mad as hell at Asher, I still wanted him to have the time to get to know Brodie and Jackson. It would have been unacceptable for me to just tell Asher I wanted to go home without giving him a chance to spend time with the two men he’d always wanted to accept him for who he was. And they had, with open arms.
I got out of bed and jumped in the shower. I wanted to go find
Asher and see if he was ready to leave. If he wasn’t, then I was ready to ask for the money to take the bus home. I’d had enough with being angry at him. I just wanted to be in my own apartment and get the dreaded conversation with my mom out of the way.
After my shower, I shrugged into my yoga pants and t-shirt, my go-to outfit on this trip. I was all about comfort these days. I headed down the stairs and sat on the swing, waiting for some sounds of life from inside. I didn’t want to wake anyone too early. I glanced at my phone, it was ten o’clock. I decided it was plenty late enough to knock, and if Asher was the only one in there sleeping, then he deserved to be woken up.
I knocked, but no one answered. I tried the doorknob. It turned, and the door slowly opened. I peeked inside but didn’t see or hear anyone. I stepped in and looked around. I heard a faint sound from the kitchen so I headed that way.
“Hey, Mel. Good morning,” a smiling Gabby said.
“Good morning. Um…sorry, I knocked but no one answered and the door was unlocked.”
“No worries. Me casa, you casa. Or whatever that saying is.” She laughed. “You look pretty this morning.”
“I do?”
“Yeah. Your cheeks are full of rosy color and your eyes are bright. Looks like pregnancy is doing its thing.”
“What thing?”
“You know, pregnant women always looks so beautiful, glowing with radiance. Of course, that might have something to do with you standing right in the sun’s rays, which are making your blonde locks very vibrant. But, nonetheless, you are stunning this morning.” She laughed. “Tea? I have some herbal decaf that has a hint of peach. It’s very smooth and really good.”
Beautifully Undone (The Beaumont Brothers #3) Page 13