“Would you be saying this if it were your baby?” Destiny asked her mother.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Would you be so willing to kill it if it were you carrying his child?” Destiny pushed back her chair and stood abruptly. “I don’t care what any of y’all say, because nothing will change my mind. I love Nate, this is his baby, and I’m having it.” She looked at her grandmother. “Kiki, you’re always saying that a man of God has needs. Well, this baby of God has needs too. And I’m going to be the mother who takes care of them!”
Simone stood and faced her daughter. “You will do what’s best. This isn’t just about you!”
“No, it isn’t!” Destiny shouted. “It’s about my baby. And the best thing for it is to be born!” With that, Destiny turned and ran up the stairs.
“Destiny!” Simone started after her.
“Let her be, Simone,” Katherine said, even as the sound of a slamming door added to the tension. Then, for a moment, all was silent.
“She has a right to be upset,” Nettie finally said. “And I’m not just saying this from a Christian point of view,” she told Simone. “I’m saying it as the mother of the man you’re so determined to protect, and as the grandmother of the baby you’re so ready to get rid of. We need to get out of the way and seek God on this matter. Let His will be done. Man looks at what’s on the outside, but God looks at the heart. He knows the heart of both Nate and Destiny. If we listen to God and follow His instructions, we’ll be a lot better off. Because sitting around this table, we’ve all got ideas on who should do what. But we’re human. We may get it wrong. But God? Hmph. God never misses the mark. He never fails.”
10
Sleep in the Bed You Made
Later that evening, Simone reclined on the chaise in her bedroom. To the observer her body may have looked relaxed, but inside she was as keyed up as she’d ever been. After Katherine and Nettie left, Simone had tried to talk to Destiny. But Destiny had feigned illness and said she didn’t want to talk. Simone had thought later that maybe Destiny really wasn’t feeling good, and had once again knocked, with a tray of tea, soup, and crackers. Destiny had finally opened the door, just long enough to take the tray and thank her mother. Also long enough for Simone to see the telltale sign of crying in her puffy, bloodshot eyes.
Simone’s heart clinched as she battled a range of emotions. Her mind went back to a similar time in her life, when she found out she was pregnant. Those circumstances hadn’t been as different as Simone would have liked to imagine them. She too had been seventeen, about to go college, mind filled with thoughts of conquering the world. Destiny’s father had similar thoughts, which is why being saddled with a child while a standout basketball player at Texas A&M wasn’t on his agenda. He’d refused to believe Simone was pregnant with his child, and after marrying a French woman and moving abroad, she’d never seen or heard from him again—didn’t even know if he was still alive, and didn’t care to know. Back when she’d gotten pregnant, few people had abortions; it was rarely even thought of, much less discussed. There were many single mothers in Palestine, even in the church. And for those women the church and the community came together, often treating the children as their own. In those days, it was understood. You got pregnant? You had the baby. At the time her grandmother had told her to “sleep in the bed you made.”
After the initial outcry of incredulity and anger, Katherine hadn’t said much at all. It was later, when Destiny was three or four years old, that Katherine shared the thoughts that would slowly take shape in Simone’s heart: that she thought Simone a perfect complement to Nathaniel, a woman who could bring out the best in him. Simone had pooh-poohed the idea at first. After all, she’d known Nate since he was young, had seen him at his awkward stage—tall, gangly, with a fade and pimples. It seemed that overnight he went from scrawny to scrumptious. And from that moment, women were everywhere. That’s why even after their first sexual encounter, when Nate’s oral prowess left Simone mewling like a newborn kitten and feeling oh so good, Simone kept her distance. Even after Katherine had told her about the Noble-Thicke tradition, Simone determined she wasn’t the type of woman who shared her man. She went away to college, got a marketing degree, and eventually moved to Dallas. She was determined to make a good life for her daughter, and eventually find a man for herself. She was well on her way to doing that. And then Katherine called.
When Simone returned to Palestine and saw Nate, she was amazed and impressed at the change. He was younger than her, twenty-four to her twenty-eight, but he was handling the stressful job of senior pastor like an old pro. His lovemaking skills had gotten even better, if that were possible, and along with thoughts of marriage, Simone began imagining something else…a sister or brother for Destiny. She’d even joked with him about it, said that he and she would make some pretty babies. He’d joined in the laughter, but had insisted he wasn’t ready to have a child, that he didn’t want to become a father until after he was married. For that reason, he told her, he insisted on using a condom every time they had intercourse. A couple times she’d tried to get him to do it without one, but he had allowed no exceptions. Obviously, there’d been at least one exception—her daughter. Simone wasn’t proud of how she felt, but if she were honest with herself, she’d admit that that was the reason she wanted Destiny to have the abortion. Because she, Simone, wanted to be the mother of his child.
Tears came to Simone’s eyes as she acknowledged this truth, along with the fact that she would not be Mrs. Thicke. It was her daughter, her pregnant daughter, standing in the way. And who am I to try and block her path? Simone reluctantly thought. During the discussion at the table, Simone had convinced herself that an abortion was easier not just for Nate, but especially for Destiny. Simone knew all too well the difficulties of being a single mother. She wanted to spare her daughter this hardship, have Destiny experience the joy of being footloose and fancy free at this time in her life, instead of burdened with responsibility. Not having the baby was definitely in the best interest of Destiny’s future, Simone again concluded. But her daughter, who was Simone’s even change in stubbornness, didn’t agree. She wanted to have Nate’s baby, just like her mother also did.
“Marrying Destiny doesn’t have to change the relationship between us.” Simone remembered Nate’s words from the time he’d come over, the first time they met after he announced his plans to marry Destiny. His lovemaking had been exquisite that day, she also remembered. He’d lavished love on every inch of her, seeming to stroke her very core. Simone tried to imagine Nate’s words being true, continuing to experience the heights of ecstasy she did with him while he was married to her daughter. But can I be satisfied with just his dick, knowing Destiny has everything else? How did Katherine do it? Simone wondered. Maybe I’ll ask her. Simone knew that if she were to keep any part of Nate at all, she’d have to find a way.
Simone sighed, rose from the chaise, and walked from her room to Destiny’s. She started to knock on the door, but when she put her ear up against it, heard nothing but silence. Simone decided that tomorrow was soon enough to begin mending the rift she knew the night’s conversation had put between her and Destiny. It would be mended—Simone was sure about that. Because from the time Destiny was born, she’d been the light of Simone’s life. Yes, she loved Nate. But she also loved her child. And at the end of the day Simone knew that nothing, and no one, could take away that love.
Nettie prayed quietly, fervently, in the holy language. She battered the gates of heaven with her petition, asking God for clarity, direction, mercy, and grace. Alternately, she would become silent and still, listening for God’s voice. She knew He would answer, knew He’d make a way. He had never failed her yet.
While the baby news had stunned Katherine and Simone, Nettie was not at all surprised. She’d known about the baby at least a week before Nate decided to share the news, news that confirmed what she’d seen in a dream. It was the second time she’d dreamt about Nate’
s child.
Nettie stood and began pacing the room, intoning the Spirit with the holy language. And then she heard it: a clear directive. God was speaking and she dared not move, lest she miss a word or even a syllable.
“What, Lord?” Nettie asked out loud, frowning at the thoughts coming into her mind. “This can’t be God,” she said to the four walls, even though Nettie knew God’s voice better than she knew her own. She’d known His voice since she was five years old, and had heard “someone” tell her to get out of the yard and run on to the porch of their Texas farm. Seconds later, a rattlesnake had appeared out of the knee-high grass at the yard’s perimeter and, bypassing a petrified Nettie, slithered down the dusty road. When Nettie relayed the story to her mother, she kept peeling potatoes while responding calmly and simply. “That was God talkin’, chile. Be sure and keep listening, you hear?”
That incident had happened almost a half century ago. God was indeed still talking, and Nettie was still listening, as her mother had asked. But God was talking crazy, and while it wasn’t the first time and probably wouldn’t be the last, Nettie could barely wrap her mind around the solution that had popped into her head.
“Well, I know one somebody who will know whether this is God or those jalapeños I put in my beans last night,” Nettie said to herself as she walked to the phone. She quickly dialed the number and took a long swig of cola as she waited for an answer.
“Mama Max? It’s Nettie. I hope you’ve got a minute, because I need your opinion.”
“Well, chile, you know I got plenty of those,” Mama Max promptly responded. “Go right ahead, baby. My time is yours.”
“It’s about Nathaniel. Remember a while back when you said he might need more than mercy?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, that time has come.”
Mama Max jumped to her feet. “Have mercy, Jesus. You’re a strong deliverer, Father!” She didn’t need to know the problem to join her prayers and faith with Nettie’s.
“I’ve asked God about it, but what I’m hearing just don’t make sense!”
Mama Max sat back down. “You say it don’t make sense?”
“No, ma’am, not at all.”
“Well, Nettie, when it don’t make sense is usually when I know it’s God!”
11
Handle Your Business
The four gentlemen dining at The Palm restaurant in Dallas—fancier than any restaurant in Palestine, though two hours away—had caused a stir from the moment they’d entered. Not that they noticed; they were too busy enjoying each other’s company. But the eyes of every female had followed their entrance, and even those with a ring on her third finger, left hand seemed to find her eyes drifting now and again to the table of magnificent manliness at the back of the room. Any of these men alone could heat up a space, but seeing Derrick Montgomery, King Brook, Stanley Lee, and Nate Thicke together was confirmation that God meant his words when after creating man he said, “It is good.”
Nate listened intently as Derrick reiterated the rules of membership to the Total Truth Association and the organization’s primary purpose: to educate, inspire, and support its members and to ensure that the divine interpretation of God’s Word and tenets be practiced within their congregations.
“As I’ve told you before, Nate,” Derrick concluded, “you are an intelligent man and a talented preacher. I think you’re going to go far in advancing God’s kingdom.”
“I second that,” King said. “He can’t help but be good though. Just look at his lineage. You remember when Reverend Thomas Thicke used to preach those midnight revivals? That man would preach so hard, even his suit coat would be dripping with sweat. He’d leave people lying all over the place, slain in the spirit. Pretty radical when you think about it, that he was practicing the laying on of hands in a church full of Baptists.”
“Yeah,” Stanley added. “But no one said anything because no one could deny his anointing.”
King turned to Stanley. “I didn’t know you’d heard Nate’s grandfather preach?”
“Not in person,” Stanley responded. “But my mother swore by him, had all his albums. You know when you can feel the anointing through vinyl, the man is bad!”
“I heard your father a few times too,” King continued in a softer tone. “Nobody would second-guess God’s timing, but it sure seems like that man left this earth too soon.”
Nate nodded and smiled sadly. It was rare that he talked about Daniel Thicke. That a car accident had snatched his father away from him when he was sixteen, was the one thing for which Nate still blamed God. “I keep forgetting that you knew my dad.”
“I didn’t know him, really. He was eight, nine years older than me and since our churches were in different districts, we never had the opportunity to fellowship directly,” King said. “I remember when I heard him the first time, at a convention. He couldn’t have been more than twenty-one, but he had that audience in the palm of his hand. And could he sing? Man, that dude could blow! Even I was enthralled. Passed up a chance to go chase tail so I could hear him preach. And for me, as a horny thirteen-year-old, that was saying something!”
“Nate Thicke!” Derrick slapped Nate on the back. “Sounds like you’re a chip off the old block, son.”
“I can’t tell you what an honor it is to become a part of Total Truth,” Nate said sincerely. “I’ve got big plans for Gospel Truth, and I know that being in an organization like this, and hanging out with men like you, will help them to happen.”
“Well, I think I’m speaking for not only all three of us board members, but the entire group of leaders Total Truth represents when I say that we will do all we can to help you reach your goals,” King said. “And while it doesn’t hurt to have a plethora of brothers with whom you can call on, there’s no support better than that of a first lady. Being a pastor isn’t easy, and being a single pastor is a particular challenge. But then, I bet I don’t have to tell you that.”
“Man, I already know!”
King waited until the waitress had delivered their desserts and then continued. “And I guess I also don’t have to tell you that nothing can stall a minister’s career faster than a scandal involving women.”
Stanley shifted a bit uncomfortably in his seat. As the senior pastor of LA’s Logos Word Interdenominational church, a Total Truth board member, and good friend of Derrick Montgomery, he was no stranger to drama. He also knew better than anybody at the table what a woman-induced scandal could cause. That the scandal-causing female had been his wife, and not another woman, had been a bitter pill to swallow. But that was in the past, he reminded himself. Both he and his ex-wife, Carla, had moved on, and remarried. Stanley knew that his present wife, Passion, was the reason he’d been able to move on so quickly. One couldn’t underestimate or overstate the importance of not only a good woman, but the right woman by your side.
“I agree with Derrick that marriage is important,” Stanley said. “But don’t get in a hurry just for appearance’s sake. Seek God on the matter, make sure to heed His counsel. And in the meantime, practice abstinence. Let your mind be fixed on sacred h-y-m-n-s, not sexy h-e-m-s.”
The unexpected humor from a usually serious Stanley broke up the table.
“That was pretty good, man,” King said, wiping his eyes. “The brothah’s right though. In a leadership position, your behavior has to be stellar, above board.”
Now it was Nate’s turn to squirm. He honestly doubted he could go more than a few days without sex, hadn’t since his first sexual encounter at the ripe old age of thirteen. And he definitely wouldn’t stop doing Destiny. He could get hard just thinking about that tender flesh. Simone either, not that she would let him. Or Katherine, or Patricia, or Jennifer or…As Nate mentally checked off the list of women he was screwing, he finally concluded that none of them could do without his spiritual covering. He also concluded his brethren wouldn’t understand—just as Katherine had said. And she’d told him something else too, shortly after D
estiny got pregnant.
“Don’t tell the men about her yet.”
“What men?”
“Total Truth. Don’t tell them about Destiny and the baby.”
“Why not?”
“We can’t tell anybody, Nate, remember? If you mention her name, they’re going to wonder where she is, why she isn’t at the anniversary celebration. If they find out she’s pregnant, you won’t get voted in. Once the two of you are married, everything will be all right. Only then can everyone know. But not right now; there’s too much at stake. Keep your eye on the prize.”
“Nate?” Derrick asked.
“Oh, sorry about that.”
“You were a million miles away, brothah. Was it King’s question that sent you there?”
“Uh, excuse me, brothah. What did you ask?”
“I asked what you thought about what Stan said, about being abstinent.”
“Not much,” Nate answered truthfully. King laughed, Derrick smiled, Stanley frowned. “I mean, come on now, y’all know the deal. A man’s gotta get release every now and then.”
“I hear ya, man,” King said. “Because honestly, I don’t know if I could go without sex. Never had to, being married almost twenty-five years.”
“What about you, Derrick?”
“It would be a challenge. But that’s why I said what I did about finding the right woman and marrying her. That act would make this a moot conversation.”
“And until then,” Stan pressed, “you have to live a celibate lifestyle.” He leaned forward and spoke directly to Nate. “After next week you will not only be representing Gospel Truth, but you will be representing Total Truth. Anything that happens to you will happen to every member under this umbrella. Not only that, but you’re a man of God representing the kingdom. How can you tell the young men out there to respect the women of God if you’re cavorting in your own sanctuary?”
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