Lucy raced into the kitchen, yelling for Charlie, who was somewhere inside. ‘Charlie, dinnertime. Come and get it.’
Rosie shook her head at her boisterous niece and turned back to the barbecue. She was flipping the burgers when Lucy returned so she held her hand out for the plate without fully turning around.
‘Thanks, honey,’ she said.
‘Any time, sugar.’
At the sound of Nick’s voice, she jumped, startled, dropping the barbecue tongs and registering vaguely that they clattered to the ground. ‘I thought you were Lucy!’ She’d turned around now and saw she hadn’t imagined him. Nick was here, in a dark suit and white shirt, open at the neck, his tie missing. He looked tired, dark shadows under his eyes.
‘I bribed them both with a couple of Perky Nanas so I could bring the plate out. There’s a business model in there somewhere: behaviour management courtesy of New Zealand confectionery.’
‘I think…’ she smiled despite being both bewildered he was there and trying vainly to hold on to her anger ‘…that’s already patented under bribery.’ She glanced down at the plate he’d handed to her and, remembering what she’d been about to do, turned back to the barbecue to pile the burgers on to it. She was aiming for cool and calm and probably coming across as crazy, but what was a girl to do? ‘I wasn’t expecting you,’ she said, brave enough to say it now her back was turned. She kept her voice level and it was the most neutral thing she could think of to say but still get her point across. She thought she was doing a good job, all things considered.
‘I know I said I couldn’t come…’
‘Not just for a barbecue. You said never.’
‘And I thought I meant it.’
She’d finished with the burgers and she turned the barbecue off, having no more reason to delay. She turned to face him.
‘I thought I meant it,’ he repeated, ‘but I realise I’ve never meant anything less.’
Her legs suddenly shaky, she slid the plate back onto the barbecue, unsure what she was about to hear. He was looking at her intently, his features serious. He looked exhausted, she realised, not just tired. What exactly had been going on?
He shoved a hand through his hair and flicked a gaze over her face, settling on her mouth before raising his eyes to meet hers.
‘Will you hear me out?’
Rosie hesitated, then nodded. Who was she kidding? Nick being here was as much of a miracle as Charlie talking to Nick had been. Staying angry just to prove a point would only prove she was a numbskull when it sounded like he might have had a change of heart.
She nodded and he looked relieved, like he’d doubted his reception.
‘It’s been a helluva few days, Rosie, heck, if I’m honest, it’s been a helluva few weeks since I met you. I feel like I’ve been on a roller-coaster. I haven’t known which way is up. I’ve had unexpected dramas at work that have needed all my concentration but I’ve found that so difficult because I’d met you. I want to spend time with you, and the children, I’m drawn to you in a way I can’t explain, but I’ve tried to keep my distance.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I told myself I couldn’t afford distractions. After my divorce I reaffirmed my old goals I’d strayed so far from, and when I met you I was well on my way to achieving those. I’d bought into the practice partnership and I was finally feeling stable, confident of where I was heading, but then the night I ran into you at the art gallery there was an unexpected hiccup. One of the senior partners made a sudden decision to retire, which put me under the pump financially. I told myself I had to sort that out before I could move forward. That’ll take years, in financial terms. Until I had that under control I had nothing to offer anyone.’
‘And now?’
‘The situation itself is resolved, we’ve bought him out, but I’m now further from my goals. The big realisation for me was that, because of that situation, I was making assumptions and decisions about you and for you that I have no right to make.’
‘Like this “just friends” idea?’
‘Yeah.’ He grinned and the lines of fatigue around his eyes fell away. ‘Like that. I don’t want to be the sort of person who thinks they know what’s best for someone else.’ He stepped closer, reaching for her, his hands resting lightly around her upper arms. ‘I tried hard to convince myself that you were just a friend because it was safer, because I didn’t think I had anything to offer.’
‘You didn’t need to offer me anything, I only wanted you.’
‘It’s never that simple.’ He traced a line down her arm, from her shoulder to her wrist, which he circled with his fingers, leaving her shivering for more. ‘It still isn’t, not for me. But I admit it, I can’t control everything. Even though my timing isn’t perfect, my life isn’t perfect, I want to be a part of your life. And not as “just friends”. I need to know—is there room in your life for me? You’ve got two children who need stability, two children who need your attention, so I’ll understand if it can’t happen, if there’s only room for a night or two. You need to make that decision, I see that now. It’s not mine to make on your behalf.’
He slid his fingers from her wrist to take her hand in his. ‘That’s a long way of saying I’m falling for you, Rosie.’ His gaze caressed her face, lingering on her lips before coming to rest on her eyes again. ‘I’m hoping you feel the same.’
She nodded, scarcely daring to breathe in case the moment vanished as magically as it had appeared.
‘We’ll have to take it slowly. And while I’m not sure where we’re headed, I do know the direction I want to head in is with you.’
She nodded, eyes wide. ‘I hoped for a time that you cared for me but I couldn’t be sure and then you seemed so set on being friends only…’
‘An idea destined for failure.’ He brought his other hand up until he was cupping her face. He lowered his head and it was an automatic reaction for her to lift her mouth to meet his. As her eyes fluttered closed, she knew this was right. She felt his breath on her lips and waited for the touch of his mouth.
The squeak of the back door interrupted the moment and she knew their solitude was over. As the twins burst out onto the deck Nick dropped his hands and Rosie stepped back, smacking against the barbecue. They must have looked as guilty as a couple of teenagers caught out kissing in the classroom.
‘Rosie, we’re starving!’ The twins slid to a halt, flanking Nick on each side, appearing oblivious to their aunt’s flustered state.
‘Hi, Nick,’ Lucy said, as calmly as if he dropped by for dinner every day.
Charlie peeked around Rosie and saw she’d finished cooking. He picked up the plate piled with hamburgers and carried it to the table as Lucy took Nick by the hand, saying, ‘You’re a few days late but I knew you’d come.’
Rosie wished she’d had her niece’s confidence. It would have saved her three sleepless nights since Sunday.
Dinner was relaxed, the conversation bouncing backwards and forwards between all of them. There was no chance for her and Nick to have any sort of adult conversation but the interaction between them all was natural and fun. From what she could tell, Nick was enjoying himself too. But conversation was not where her mind kept drifting. How could she concentrate when he’d been about to kiss her?
At the end of dinner the twins cleared the table, depositing the plates in the kitchen before disappearing, as they always did, to do some last-minute things in an effort to delay their bedtime. Rosie managed to catch them to make them say goodnight to Nick, knowing they’d save that as an excuse to come back downstairs again.
Lucy hurled herself into Nick’s arms, hugging him tight and giving him a noisy kiss on the cheek before rushing over to Rosie and giving her similar treatment. There were no half-measures with Lucy.
Charlie was a different matter. He approached more quietly after his sister and looked solemnly at Nick, almost eye to eye as Nick was still sitting down, standing for a moment as if considering something. Then he seeme
d to make his mind up and, stepping forward quickly, he leant in to give Nick a quick hug. He whispered something in his ear before turning and bolting up the stairs after his sister.
‘What did he say?’ There was no way she was playing coy on this one.
‘He told me I’m not just his doctor, I’m his friend too.’
Rosie’s hand fluttered to her chest. ‘Really?’ She sat down, hard, on a chair while she thought this over. Watching the children interact with him, she thought how well he suited having kids around. Maybe a slow and steady approach could get them over the finish line?
If she didn’t rush things and if the children had time to get used to the idea, maybe there could be a future for her and Nick. And maybe the same approach would work for Nick too, slow and steady? He was here after all. If he got used to them as a family perhaps he’d find it hard to give them up.
Fixing Nick with a look, she said, ‘You are something else, Nick Masters.’
He tipped an imaginary cap at her. ‘I’m glad to hear it, because I came tonight knowing it was most likely I’d blown my chances with you. Which I think is where we were at in our conversation when the twins came bursting through the door.’
Rosie shook her head, stood up and walked around the table to him, her heart rate rising, cheeks flushed. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her and the desire she saw in his face soothed her nerves. Drawing courage from the pent-up desire she’d been burdened with these last weeks, she slid onto his lap. He drew in a sharp breath and she smiled, lowering her head close to his, picking up his hands and placing them on either side of her face.
‘I think,’ she said, hearing her breathing quicken, ‘this is where we were.’
There were no words spoken between them. They both knew what would happen next.
This moment had been coming for a while. It was inevitable and she needed to feel the touch of his lips, to taste him, savour him.
She licked her lips and Nick groaned, pulling her tight against his chest and tipping her face down to his. The moment his lips touched hers, Rosie was no longer quite aware of where she was—all she knew was this moment should go on for ever. She was no longer sure where his body ended and hers started, couldn’t have said whether she was standing or sitting. There was only the kiss. Nothing else. Only Nick’s mouth on hers, touching, kissing, caressing, as if they were made for this moment. She sank deeper into his touch, his taste, all her senses trained on Nick and how he was making her feel. Every molecule was alive with his touch and her head was pounding with desire.
He ran a hand from her cheek to her shoulder and down her arm to her elbow, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Then, slowly, gently, he ran his fingers under her T-shirt, touching the sensitive skin at her waist. Rosie had to bite her lip, afraid she would moan out loud.
He rested the palm of his hand against her ribs and she could feel the beat of her heart, pulsing under his fingertips.
She parted her lips as gentleness was replaced by hunger and wanton desire replaced all pretence of friendship as they explored and tasted each other, immersed in the moment.
The screaming penetrated the bubble of sensation they were enclosed in. Rosie sprang back from Nick and onto her feet as if boiling water had been flung over her. She was disoriented and it took a moment for reality to come clear, a moment before she registered the scream was Charlie’s.
He was standing right next to them. Neither had heard him come back downstairs. His chest was heaving, his eyes bright with angry tears.
‘What are you doing?’ His voice was a raspy growl, like nothing she’d ever heard from him. She’d never even seen him mildly angry and now he was almost beside himself, and it was terrifying. He wasn’t looking at Nick, didn’t even seem to see him there, but he stared at Rosie without blinking, his hands balled into fists at his sides.
For a moment she thought he was going to strike out at her and she took a step closer to him, but he moved back and at that moment, Lucy appeared in the doorway, her gaze moving over the scene. She seemed to know exactly what had happened. Without speaking, she ran to Charlie’s side, looping her arm about his shaking shoulders, and at her touch, Charlie seemed to collapse, all the anger whooshing from him as if he were a burst balloon. Lucy fixed Rosie with a stare that labelled her a traitor and, turning her brother around, she held him tight as they headed for the stairs.
Neither of them looked at her again. Then they were gone.
Rosie collapsed onto an empty chair, her hand fluttering to her throat where there was a constriction so tight she vaguely wondered if she might stop breathing. She couldn’t take her eyes off the empty doorway.
‘What have I done?’ She grasped her throat tighter and continued to stare after the children as if she might magically conjure them up again. And all she could whisper, over and over, was, ‘What have I done?’
The moment had transformed from pure beauty to sheer horror in a matter of seconds. Nick wasn’t sure he’d even processed it yet. But he knew he was responsible for deeply upsetting a little boy he was supposed to help. He was his doctor, for Pete’s sake.
He wasn’t sure what had happened—he cut the excuse off. He knew exactly what had happened. He’d been kissing Rosie. The woman his mother had, in the few short minutes of a single phone call, managed to work out was ‘the one’. Even before he’d worked it out.
And he, idiot that he was, had been so caught up in the incredible realisation he was kissing the woman he was in love with, he’d paid no heed to anything else.
What a time to be hit over the head by the knowledge he’d fallen in love.
And now they would pay. Worse, it seemed the children would pay for their recklessness, his and Rosie’s.
He couldn’t let that happen. He had to fix it.
‘Rosie.’ He bent over her chair, touching her shoulder, not sure if she was still aware of his presence. ‘I’ll go after them.’
‘No!’ So she’d heard him. And her rejection was decisive. ‘No,’ she repeated, ‘I have to go.’ She stood and held herself rigid, her face pale beneath its smattering of freckles. ‘I can’t believe I’ve done this to them. I forgot. For a moment, I forgot. About everything except myself. Myself…’ she turned anguished eyes to him ‘…and you.’ And then she repeated, as though to herself, ‘What have I done?’
The part of him that needed to fix things couldn’t stand it. He pulled her to her feet, held her firmly in front of him and ducked and moved until his face was directly in her line of vision and she had to look at him. ‘Rosie, don’t look away. Look at me.’ He waited until she complied. ‘You’ve done nothing wrong. Our timing could have been better but we’ve done nothing we can’t fix. Do you hear me?’
Rosie was listening now. He could see he had her attention. Now he just had to say something that got through to her. He had to fix this. ‘Charlie’s upset, that’s all. He’s had a lot to deal with and it all came out in his reaction just now. He wasn’t reacting to you and me, he was reacting to the stress of everything that’s happened to him.’
‘We don’t know that.’
‘But it makes sense,’ he said, trying to convince her, convince them both.
She nodded. She looked like she’d heard what he’d said and at least she hadn’t told him not to be ridiculous.
‘You go to them now. I’ll stay here if you want or I’ll go. But if I go, I’m only a phone call away and you ring me.’ He tilted her head up so she had to meet his eyes. ‘It doesn’t matter what time it is, you ring me and I’ll be here.’
A glimmer of a smile crossed her lips. ‘Thanks, but don’t stay. I think this is something I’d best do alone. Even if Charlie wasn’t just responding to you and me, we’re still part of the problem.’
‘Which part?’
‘I’m not sure, but he looked at me like I’d betrayed him.’ There was more she wasn’t saying but he knew instinctively now wasn’t the time, that she wouldn’t say anything else until she’d seen the twins.
Gathering her in his arms, he wrapped her in a hug and she dropped her head to his shoulder and clung to him as though it was the last time.
Did it all end here tonight?
He didn’t really think that would happen, but the way Rosie was holding him tight, as if she was memorising the fit of her body to his, he had a sinking feeling that was exactly what was on her mind.
When she eased out of his embrace, she ran her fingers down his face, trailing a fingertip over his lips, slowly, caressing. She looked sad, and stressed, but the far-away look in her eyes also told him her mind was now with the twins.
‘I’ll speak to you later,’ she said, and held his hand for a brief moment before turning and going inside.
A conversation was playing in his mind as a backing track to Rosie’s departure. His mum had told him he’d look back over his life and realise he’d lost the girl because he’d been waiting for everything to be perfect. Had he waited too long? And when he’d finally acted, had he failed to think it through and do it properly?
From where he stood, it seemed like that might be exactly what had just happened. And that losing the girl he’d fallen in love with was the price he’d pay.
But he’d be willing to bet even his mum wouldn’t have thought it would happen this quickly.
Rosie stopped mid-tread at the top of the stair as she heard the front door close. Nick had gone. She finished climbing the stairs. Lucy’s door was open but her room was empty. Charlie’s door was shut. She knocked several times before the handle turned and she was begrudgingly admitted by a stonyfaced Lucy. Charlie was on his bed, his back turned to her, and she couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not.
She reached out to take Lucy’s hand and Lucy stepped back, unimpressed. She walked into the room and sat down on the chair at Charlie’s desk. Lucy sat on the bed next to Charlie, one hand resting on her brother’s back.
‘Lucy, can you tell me what’s wrong? Why are you both so upset?’
‘You were kissing Nick.’
Italian Doctor, Dream Proposal / Wanted: A Father for her Twins Page 31