Get your hands off my little sister! I scream inside.
‘Anna!’ Livi sees me and immediately detaches herself from his clutches, bounding over to greet me. I know what she’s doing, she doesn’t want me to see who she’s hanging out with, but it’s too late. The boy follows behind, hovering over her like a hornet.
‘Who’s this? Aren’t you going to introduce me?’
Livi looks nervous.
‘This is Steven. Ferret, this is my sister, Anna.’
So this is the celebrated Ferret. I study him. He’s not that tall, about the same height as her, with fair hair sticking out from beneath a black beanie. He’s quite good-looking but his face is a bit too thin, his nose too long, and his eyes too small for my taste.
‘Ferret,’ I say. ‘Suits you.’
The eyes harden. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Nothing. It’s your name, not mine.’
Livi laughs nervously. ‘His name’s Steven Ferris. That’s why he’s called Ferret.’
Great. I’ve insulted him without even meaning to. He stares me out, pale eyes narrowed. When I drop my gaze he gives a victorious, insolent little bark of a laugh, like he’s won, and turns away.
I’m furious.
‘What are you doing with that?’ I hiss.
Livi’s face falls. ‘Loads of girls like him. He’s dead fit.’
‘No he’s not, Liv. You can do so much better than him!’
She shakes her head. ‘You don’t know him!’
‘I don’t want to know him!’
‘Get lost!’ she says and now she turns away.
‘Livi! Don’t be daft!’
‘Piss off!’ she yells at me.
Behind her, her mates burst out into shrieks of laughter.
All except Ferret, who stands there staring silently at me, a twisted, malevolent smile on his pale, pinched face.
I turn on my heel and walk away.
He watched as she disappeared down the mall with her fat friend in tow. He’d got her measure now. One of those girls who thinks she knows everything. Thinks she’s better than everyone else.
Well, you can be too clever for your own good.
He could teach her a thing or two. He could show her.
CHAPTER THREE
‘What the hell does she see in him?’ gasps Zoe as we walk off.
‘Goodness knows!’
‘He gives me the creeps.’
‘Me too!’ I don’t want to admit it, but I’m feeling a bit freaked out after that encounter, like I’ve been threatened or something. ‘Actually, Zoe, I think I’m going to make a move now, if it’s OK with you.’
‘See you Monday.’ Zoe gives me a hug. I make my way through the mall, head down, trying to avoid the couples with their arms wrapped around each other. Am I the only single in the world? Suddenly I go slap-bang into someone. I hear them grunt like the air’s been knocked clean out of them and my bag goes flying.
‘Sorry!’ I say. ‘My fault. Sorry!’
‘You!’
I stare into a pair of surprised eyes. I don’t believe it! It’s him again. The boy from the bus. I look around for my bag but he beats me to it. He picks it up along with its scattered contents and hands it back to me. Our hands touch. I can feel my cheeks burning.
‘Are you stalking me?’ he says.
‘No!’
‘Only we keep bumping into each other.’
‘I never saw you before last night!’
‘And this morning.’ He grins and I realize he’s winding me up. He’s gorgeous when he smiles. ‘Do you live in the Docklands?’
‘No. My dad does. With his girlfriend.’
‘That old warehouse they’ve done up?’
‘Yeah, Wharfside. Top floor.’
He nods, studying me, like he likes what he sees. ‘What’s she like?’
‘Who?’
‘The girlfriend?’
He obviously wants to talk. I shrug my shoulders and the corner of my mouth curls. He laughs out loud. ‘That good, hey?’
‘We call her The Bitch.’
‘Some girls are,’ he says and nods understandingly. I wonder if he’s been hurt. His dark eyes are studying me. ‘Look,’ he says, then he hesitates, like he’s about to say something important and doesn’t know how. My heart starts racing. He’s going to ask me out.
‘Anna? Anna!’
Oh no! I’d know that voice anywhere. I turn around to see my father waving at me. Behind him, Jude emerges from a shop doorway. I groan aloud.
‘That’s all I need. My dad – and he’s got The Bitch with him.’
The boy’s eyes shift past me and he takes a step backwards.
‘See you around then,’ he says and I want to say, ‘No, wait!’ but instead I echo, ‘Yeah, see you around,’ and he walks away.
Thanks, Dad. You don’t just screw your own relationships up, you screw mine too.
The only guy I’ve been remotely interested in for ages and I don’t even know his name.
CHAPTER FOUR
By Saturday night I’m totally pissed off.
I didn’t waste much time talking to Dad and Jude, needless to say. It was pretty obvious by the speed in which The Bitch had appeared back on the scene that her weekend away was a fabrication. Once she’d discovered the fledglings had flown the nest, the cuckoo was straight back in.
Mum’s out when I get home and there’s no sign of Livi, surprise, surprise. I bung a pizza in the oven, forgetting until I sit down to eat it that I’d had one last night. There’s nothing worth watching on television so I put on a DVD, but I’ve seen it before too many times.
I go on Facebook. Mistake. I trawl through pics of people off their heads and reply to messages from people having the best time of their lives.
Why is everyone else having a better life than me? I ask myself. And how come I have so many hundreds of friends online, but no one to spend Saturday night with?
Not quite true. Ben has asked me if I want to try again. He does this all the time. Tonight I’m almost tempted because I’m so fed up. But you can’t try to love someone. You either do or you don’t. And liking’s not enough.
Heaving a big, sad sigh, I go to switch the computer off. Then I pause. I have a new friend request.
It’s from Jem Smith.
Who’s Jem Smith?
Who cares? I need all the friends I can get.
Confirm.
His profile comes up. I click on the picture to make it bigger and my heart soars.
It’s him!
How did he know my name?
A new message has appeared.
The lounge door opens. It’s Mum. Both of us jump a mile.
‘Don’t do that!’
‘What?’
‘Sneak up on me like that!’
‘I thought you were at your father’s for the weekend. Where’s Livi?’
‘With her mates.’
She looks contrite. ‘I’m sorry, darling, I wouldn’t have gone out if I’d known you were here on your own.’
‘Mum, I’m fine.’
She comes and stands beside me.
God, she wants to talk.
‘Decided not to stay at the apartment then?’
‘No.’
Silence as she waits for more. She wants to know what it’s like there and why I decided to come home, but she doesn’t want to pry. After a while, she says, ‘Are you on Facebook?’
‘Yes.’
She looks at the screen. I minimize it.
‘Who are you talking to?’
‘A friend.’
She gives up with a sigh. ‘Right then, I’m off to bed. Don’t stay up all night.’
‘I won’t.’
As soon as she’s out of the door, I open the screen and click on the message. It says:
Enjoy your chocolate fix!
What chocolate fix?
Suddenly I jump to my feet and grab my bag, pulling out the contents. Phone, wallet, door keys, make-
up, hairbrush, tissues, chewing gum, couple of receipts.
And a champagne chocolate heart.
I log on to Facebook Chat and he’s logged in too. I start writing to him straight away.
Thanks. How did that get into my bag?
It’s a secret.
How did you know how to reach me?
That’s a secret too.
You shouldn’t have.
Why not?
You don’t know me.
I could get to know you.
Yes you could.
Want to meet up next week?
Yes.
I’ll be in touch.
I close down the computer and stare at the chocolate heart. It’s a tacky and overpriced cliché. But, apart from the occasional Valentine card over the years, it’s the first time anyone has ever declared their interest in me through a symbol.
My head sees the shiny paper disguising the inferior chocolate.
My heart sees a mysterious, dark-haired boy who’s worked out a way of getting in touch with me.
That is so romantic.
He felt restless now, bored. Time to get out for a while. He needed his fix.
He was almost out of the door before he remembered to change into dark clothes. You don’t want to be seen, he reminded himself. Stay out of sight, be invisible.
It was amazing what you could get up to when no one knew you were there.
CHAPTER FIVE
All week I’m waiting for Jem to get in touch with me but he doesn’t. I can’t concentrate on a thing. I check Facebook every five minutes but he’s not on it. As the days go by, I drag Zoe along to the mall after college but there’s no sign of him. I even consider getting the bus over to the Docklands in case that’s where he hangs out, but I manage to stop myself.
‘Message him,’ says Zoe, but I won’t. I’ve got more pride than that.
‘He knows where to find me.’
‘Maybe he’s one of those guys for whom the thrill of the chase is everything,’ says Zoe thoughtfully. ‘Now you’ve agreed to go out with him, he’s no longer interested.’
‘Since when were you such an authority on men?’ I say grimly and she shuts up.
Then she adds with a grin, ‘I don’t believe he exists. You made him up, sad creature. He’s a figment of your lonely imagination,’ and she makes me laugh.
But inside, I’m gutted. He was different from anyone I’d ever met. Now he’s disappeared off the scene I realize how much I liked him. And I thought that he liked me.
As time goes on and there’s no sign of Jem, I start to think Zoe was right about him after all. Not about existing – he was real, all right. But he must’ve been just trying it on.
I come to the conclusion once and for all that you can’t trust men, and try not to let it get me down. I’ve got A levels to get on with and, soon, uni to apply for. Who needs them anyway?
Gradually I settle back to college work. I’ve had my eyes focused on Newcastle for ages. Great course and loved the city when I went up to have a look round. The competition’s fierce though, I can’t afford to slack. Not that I would.
All I want now is to get away from this place. Go to uni and have a good time.
And then, all of a sudden, he’s back.
CHAPTER SIX
He turns up out of the blue one day, just when I’d given up on him completely. His timing is impeccable.
He’s waiting for me outside college, leaning against the wall opposite the front gates. It’s Zoe who spots him first. She nudges me in the ribs.
‘Nice!’ she says. ‘Take a look at that.’
‘Who?’
‘That boy over there. He’s staring at us.’
I follow her direction and my heart misses a beat. It’s him! Our eyes meet and he unfolds himself and stands up straight, his face breaking into a smile. He’s taller than I remember.
‘Wow!’ breathes Zoe. ‘D’you know him?’
‘It’s him,’ I say simply. ‘It’s Jem.’
‘Hi,’ he says, coming over. ‘I’ve been away. I’m sorry. But I’m back now.’
I wonder where he’s been. Far enough away not to be on Facebook. Is there anywhere that far?
But his ‘Sorry’ sounds genuine. And I like ‘I’m back now.’ Like he’s back in the place where he’s meant to be.
‘How did you know where to find me?’
‘Oh, I’ve got ways and means.’
‘Such as?’
He taps the side of his nose and grins, like he’s saying: Keep this out of it. I shake my head, trying not to smile.
What is it with him? He’s so secretive, so elusive. I’ve never met anyone quite like him before. I hold his gaze, determined to appear unimpressed, and he laughs softly, like he can read my mind.
‘Drink?’ he asks.
‘What, now?’ I dart a quick look at Zoe, standing behind me, taking it all in. We were going to hers.
‘It’s OK,’ she says quickly. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
I wonder if he’s going to insist she comes with us, but he gives her his lazy smile and says, ‘See you,’ and she walks away. And then it’s just him and me.
One minute we’re heading up the road together and I’m trying desperately to think of something to say and the next minute, to my surprise, he’s leapt on to the platform of a bus waiting at a crossroads.
‘Come on!’ he yells, reaching out his hand for me. ‘The lights are changing!’
I run after the bus as it lurches away and grab his hand. He pulls me on and I stumble into his arms.
‘Thanks,’ I say, looking up into his face. His arms tighten as he laughs down at me. His eyes are crinkled, and when he smiles one side of his mouth lifts slightly higher than the other.
I want to kiss it.
He lets me go and bounds upstairs to the top deck. When I follow him up, he’s already sprawled at the front of the bus, feet up on the windscreen, arm along the back of the seat. I sit down beside him.
‘Mind telling me where we’re going?’
His hand moves to rest lightly on my shoulder. It feels good, like I belong to him.
‘Wherever you want, Anna,’ he says.
We end up down at the harbour, not that far from my dad’s place. We climb up on to the harbour wall to watch the waves crashing against the rocks. Before long we’re soaked but I don’t care. I feel wild and free, like the sea beneath me.
Jem runs along the wall, arms spread wide, as sure-footed and agile as a panther. I tell him to be careful and so he stands on his toes, right at the edge, his back to the sea, deliberately taunting me. He starts swaying like mad as if he’s lost his balance, his arms making huge circles. I can’t help it, I close my eyes – and that’s when he yells. I scream out loud, convinced he’s fallen over the wall into the churning sea. But when I open my eyes he’s still there, laughing at me.
I punch him and he puts his arms round me.
And then he kisses me.
Later, soaked through to the skin and shaking with cold, we take refuge under the awning of a boat, away from prying eyes. Jem wraps me in his arms but I can’t get warm.
‘You got me here under false pretences!’ I protest, my teeth chattering. ‘You said you were taking me for a drink!’
‘I am,’ he says and peers through the window of the boat. Then, quick as a flash, before I can say anything, he slips off his jacket, wraps it around his fist and punches out the glass. Putting his hand inside, he fiddles around for a bit, his face rapt, then the door swings open. ‘We’re in,’ he says, pushing me inside. ‘After you.’
‘Jem!’ I splutter, but he laughs at my shocked face.
‘Go on,’ he says. ‘It’s OK. It belongs to a friend of mine.’
‘He’s not going to be very happy when he sees what you’ve done to his window,’ I remark. ‘Where’s the light?’
‘Leave it,’ he orders. I peer round the dark interior. I can just about make out built-in wrap-around seating, a table and lots of
little cupboards. Jem starts opening them. He chucks me some towels out of one and exclaims with delight when he finds a small fridge in another. ‘Trust a sailor to have booze on board,’ he declares triumphantly, holding up some cans of beer. ‘Make yourself at home.’
I sit on the floor and sip my beer while Jem towels my hair dry. Then I do the same for him. I’ve never done that for anyone before, except Livi. But this is different.
Afterwards we sit huddled together in a blanket for warmth, watching the moon rising over the bay. The boat rocks us gently. With my head on Jem’s shoulder, I listen to the sound of the sea lapping beneath us and I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy. We talk and we talk and we talk and then we kiss.
And that’s how it all begins.
And so love’s arrow finds its target.
And she’d seemed such a sensible girl too, not the kind to lose her head over some bloke.
That’s love for you.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Although I longed to fall in love, I always thought it was such a crazy, dangerous thing to do. A huge leap of faith. Like tombstoning. Maybe that’s the attraction. When you jump into it, you have no idea what lies beneath the surface. And once you’ve made that leap into the unknown, there’s no going back. It’s risky and scary and could so easily end in disaster.
But with Jem, it’s easy. I try to explain it to Zoe.
‘It’s like I’ve drifted off to sleep on a hot beach and found myself in some parallel-dream-world that I never knew existed.’
‘Cheesy!’ she says.
I know what I sound like. Sentimental. Smug. But I can’t help it. ‘Honestly, Zo, Jem is the perfect boyfriend. He’s good-looking, he’s romantic, he’s thoughtful …’
‘You hardly know him!’
‘Of course I know him. He’s so reliable, you wouldn’t believe. He even texts me if he’s going to be a few minutes late.’
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