How long she sat on the floor bawling her eyes out, she didn't know. Only that at some point, a male voice penetrated her fog of grief.
"Josie?"
Glancing up, she wiped at the tears enough to make out Ghost, momentarily surprised and stunned because she'd locked the door until she recalled his background. Picking locks probably was a skill SEAL school taught in the first week.
He grabbed her around the middle and hefted her to her feet. Once there, she plastered herself against his chest, thankful for his presence as she soaked up his warmth, support, and solid being. His arm wrapped around her, holding her tight, as he softly stroked the hair out of her face.
Another torrent of tears escaped, trailing down her cheeks and falling onto his shirt, turning the medium blue material dark with dampness. Resting her head on his shoulder, she sucked in air, trying to collect herself.
"It's okay. I'm here." His soft voice crooned in her ear as he rubbed his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion.
She soaked up the affection and his presence for a few minutes before her pride demanded she turn off the waterworks and stand back on her own two feet. Leaning back, she stared into his face, then threw caution to the wind.
Standing on tiptoe, she pressed her lips against his in a non-verbal gesture straight from the heart. He'd be leaving her today, and she couldn't find the words to tell him how she felt. Instead, she let her body communicate her feelings.
For a heart-stopping moment, Ghost didn't respond. Just as a wave of panic rose, he cupped the back of her head, seized control of the kiss, and expertly plied her lips with his, flicking his tongue over her bottom lip, then nibbling until she opened with a gasp of delight. Immediately, he delved in, seeking her depths, entreating her to a sultry exploration that sent messages of pleasure to her brain and caused her stomach to do a slow somersault as she waded deeper into the kiss. Following his lead, she pushed her tongue into his mouth, played a quick game of tag, and counted his teeth as she wrapped both arms around his neck to secure her position for the long haul.
He tilted his head, adjusted their position, and meshed their mouths once more. She drank his essence, mirrored his actions, and flew on the wings of pleasure.
Ghost rested his hand on her cheek, then stepped back, staring intently at her.
Josie fought to catch her breath as he wiped a wayward tear away. She met his gaze and waited.
"All better?"
She nodded. "Yes, thank you. I guess the fatigue and the mess sent me into a pity party. But I'm fine now."
"You've been through a lot and held yourself together with sheer determination. It was only a matter of time before everything came to a head." He caressed her cheek with his thumb as if committing her face to memory.
Josie cocked her head and leaned into his touch. "I could say the same about you."
His face remained stoic.
For a split second, she considered pursuing the topic but changed her mind. Right then she needed him to understand how much he'd grown on her, not to get into another argument over his lack of expressed emotions. That particular conversation could come later. If he'd agree to seeing her again. "Look, this may be bold of me, but…" She paused.
He lifted an eyebrow. "But what?"
Sucking in a breath, she gathered her wits and threw caution to the wind. "But I want to see you again. Would you go out with me?" There, I said it. Eagerly, she searched his face and waited to hear his reply.
Ghost dropped his hand and turned away. A few steps later, he turned to look back at her. "Josie. We've been through this before. You know I'm not what you're looking for. I'm an assassin. A killer."
She shook her head and walked over to him, lifting an index finger to his lips to quell his lecture. He stopped talking and just looked at her.
"More than that. Much more. A great man, full of bravery and courage. The one who stuck with an assignment he hated, stayed by me when he wanted to drop me off at FBI headquarters and return to his peaceful downtime. A man who put his life on the line more than once to save mine, who makes his living doing a task few take on in order to keep the rest of us safe. You do what you have to for the good of others."
He swallowed as his eyes flashed with intensity. "I've got scars. Carry demons. Those won't go away. You don't need…"
She brushed her finger over his lips, then down the cute little dimple of his chin. "I know the man you are, Ghost. A whole man whom I'd be honored to see again."
Silence answered. She dropped her hand and waited as a lump formed in her throat. His choice. She'd said everything she could to make him see himself through her eyes. If he couldn't move forward from his past, they had no hope as a couple and she might as well find that out tonight.
Ghost sidestepped her. "I brought food. We better get to eating before it gets cold."
His response left her in limbo. While he didn't reject her, he didn't accept her, either. She clung to hope and lifted her chin. Patience would win the day. She possessed enough stubbornness to ensure the fact.
"Thank you." She shot him a small smile. "I was getting pretty hungry, and after cleaning the science experiments out of my fridge, I think I have bottle of ketchup left."
He pulled out a chair from the still intact dining table and started unpacking.
Josie plopped down opposite and sighed. "That smells delicious."
Tension eased noticeably from his shoulders as he unloaded their meal. "One of the small Mom and Pop restaurants does carry out. Everything's homemade."
She grabbed one of the drink cups, then looked down at the plate Ghost set before her. A full entrée of chicken, potatoes, green beans, and a roll. Her stomach growled loudly.
Ghost glanced her way, and the corner of his mouth hitched up. The change in his expression made him all the more handsome, nearly taking her breath away. "Better eat up. You'll need the energy to finish this mess."
She smiled gratefully, grabbed the plastic fork, and dug in hungrily.
Maybe he evaded her question for now. However, she didn't sweat the fact. Not when he took the time, energy, and money to drive over to her trashed apartment, bring her a wonderful meal, and promise to help clean up the mess afterward. Perhaps a bit odd compared to traditional dating, but she'd take it. Gladly.
By the time they finished eating and added the carry out remains to the latest trash bag, Josie felt re-energized. Though exhausted, she knew her home would be back in order fairly quickly, setting her world almost right again.
Ghost volunteered to carry the trash sacks to the dumpster out back, assuring her his wound didn't hurt and lifting wouldn't injure him further. While he did so, she headed back to the bedroom, picked up the broom, and started sweeping up chunks of broken material and large pieces of mattress stuffing. The hardwood floors aided her cleanup immensely. If she had carpet, stains would now mar the material, forcing her to shell out top dollar for the item to be changed out before she moved.
"This place is looking pretty bare." Ghost stepped into the small bedroom, his eyes raking over what remained.
Basically a dresser survived the attack along with her headboard. The FBI had already removed her dissected mattresses.
"You don't have anywhere to sleep. No bed, no couch."
She eyed the empty room and fought back tears once more. Grabbing the dust pan, she used the broom to shove the debris on to the small plastic object, then walked over to dump the remains in yet another trash bag. She'd repeated the process at least a hundred times throughout the day. Her back reminded her of each one as a dull throb began each time she bent over.
Ghost stepped forward and snagged the broom from her hands. "Do you want to stay at my house until you can get more furniture?"
She met his gaze and swallowed hard. For a moment, she clung to his proposal before common sense and independence kicked in. "As much as I truly appreciate your offer, I can't."
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Why not?"
Josie
sucked in a breath and went with pure honesty. "Because I want to way too much."
"I don't get it."
"If I spend the night at your house, I'll only be running from my present situation, attempting to escape having to deal with my new reality. Tomorrow, I'll want the same thing and the next day after. It's not about the bed or the couch, it's about sleeping in a place where I don't feel as safe as I once did."
"Can you move?" He began to form another pile with the borrowed broom.
"Yes. My lease is up next month. I intend to start looking for apartments immediately. Until then, I have my pride and my stubbornness. Running doesn't help, and I would never forgive myself for the cowardice of not spending another night here. As much as I would love to stay with you, I need to face my demons here first."
Ghost paused as if absorbing her words, then he nodded. "Fair enough. But the floor's going to be damn uncomfortable."
She shrugged. "Like camping. I'll make a pallet. It'll be enough. For tonight." Walking over, she pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You don't know how much your offer means to me or how much I want to jump on it."
He pulled her into his body and squeezed her tight. "If you change your mind, let me know."
She leaned on his strength for a moment, laying her cheek against his wide chest. As much as she wanted to stay like that for the rest of the night, she needed to finish cleaning up so she could get some much needed rest.
Stepping back, she grinned at him. "For an assassin, you make a great maid."
He snorted.
A flash of humor crossed his face.
Josie mentally patted herself on the back with the small victory. Maybe with a bit more time, she could actually get him to laugh. Her ultimate goal.
Chapter 32
After a decent night's sleep alone in his house, Ghost showered, dressed, and headed to the kitchen for something to fill his empty stomach. Glancing around the house, he found peace, tranquility. Loneliness. The fact surprised him. Never before had he considered such a thing, didn't know the emotion existed within him. Why? Why now? Because over the past several days he'd become accustomed to Josie's voice, her teasing, her energetic presence. The way she looked at him when she didn't think he noticed, with appreciation and awe. She made him feel strong, needed, and worthy. Josie melted his inner ice, soothed the burning volcano deep inside, and brought his dormant sense of humor back to life. Only Josie.
Damn it. I like my life just the way it is. The words sounded sour to his own mind. He used to, until Josie showed him part of what he had been missing.
He had possessions and money, the ability to go anywhere in the world and do whatever he wanted. Hell, he probably had enough savings to retire for the rest of his life if he so wanted, from years of back-to-back missions and lucrative payments for his effective skills and successes. Working with the Wind Warriors now and again pulled in enough resources for him to live comfortably for the rest of his life without worrying about the ups and downs of the stock market.
If I have everything I need, then why am I missing the little chatterbox?
No. Josie was an assignment, a brief pause in his busy schedule. He wouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill. He protected her, she thanked him. End of story.
Uh huh. Then why am I standing here beating myself up because I miss her?
What could he do? Sure, he could call her up, ask her out. To what end? He didn't have anything to offer. His heart, though somewhat thawed, was incapable of loving again. Lindsay had taken that particular part with him to her grave, leaving him nothing to offer another woman, even if he found one he wanted to take a chance on. His career threw another monkey wrench into the dating plan. He moved at a moment's notice, always on call, waiting for another mission to come down the pipe. Each one could be his last. Such a life and the great potential for his untimely death didn't make for a stable marriage or relationship.
Relationship? Marriage? What the hell?
The words rattled him like nothing else. After Lindsay's death, he vowed never again. Yet here he stood, thinking about the petite blonde who dropped into his life, stood by his side through the days of waiting and attacks, then greeted him like a long lost loved one when he returned. Her courage and bravery under fire impressed him as did her sheer toughness in extreme circumstances. If he decided to be in the market for a girlfriend, she would fit the category of women he'd consider. What was he thinking? She'd be the pick of the litter.
Why else did he return to her apartment last night, bring her food, and help her clean away the last of the debris from the original break-in? Just to bask in her glow once more? To be a good Samaritan and assist her with the heavier objects? To make sure she was okay after such a traumatic ordeal?
Because I care, damn it. Too much.
Yet, how could he take that chance? Pry his heart open and see if Josie fit in.
He pulled a bottle of juice from the fridge, twisted open the cap, and took a deep pull.
The kiss. He chalked her reaction up to upset and vulnerability, exhaustion and relief. However, the moment her lips met his, he should have pushed her away, rejected her, made her understand he wasn't the man for her. Instead, he'd savored each moment, participated fully, and felt something deep inside turn over. The simple act of affection had jostled his previous thoughts about his loner status and planted a craving for more. Just like the impulsive one back at the cabin where fiery passion had come to a head.
His cell phone rang. Picking it up, he checked the caller ID, taking a moment to recognize the number. "Yeah?"
"Ghost?"
Josie's bright voice carried through the line. He hadn't expected her to call so soon, wasn't prepared for another deep discussion about his future. Their future. "Everything okay?"
"Yes. I just need a favor. If you don't mind and it's not too much of a bother." Her voice dropped as if she hated to ask for fear of being an unwanted burden.
"Sure. What is it?"
"My car is still at the FBI building. I need to pick it up."
"No problem." His tone came across a bit harsher than he intended with her basic down to earth reason for calling.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I should have waited. You're probably sleeping or busy. That's okay. You've done enough already for me, I'll…"
"No, it's fine." He chastised himself for making her feel guilty. "I'll pick you up. When do you want to do this?"
"Really, it's okay. I've asked enough of you. I can just call my boss and get her to pick me up."
"Josie?"
She stopped rambling. "Yes?"
"I'll pick you up. We'll go somewhere for lunch, then I'll take you to your car." He could almost see her mouth opening and closing with his unexpected answer. Heck, he surprised himself, but now with the suggestion sitting on the table, the impromptu decision felt right.
"Okay. I'd like that." She replied in a quiet voice, probably still stunned by the off-handed suggestion.
"I'll be there in thirty minutes."
"I'll be ready." Her tone turned more energetic and cheery. He clicked off with a tiny hint of a smile.
She had no food in the house and no transportation to get to the grocery store. Not to mention the lack of mattresses to sleep on. He only did what any other person would do. Get her a decent meal, then help her retrieve her car so she could regain her independence. The act in itself wasn't a date, not even a first step in a developing relationship.
Yeah, right. They passed the first step a few days back, and she continually crossed his mind since. While perhaps not official, a generous person could label his experience with Josie yesterday as a first date. They ate, and they kissed. Granted, cleaning the apartment lacked a fun quality, but they hung out together. Today would take a similar path, at least the food part. Kissing was optional, but likely.
Somehow the little minx wedged her way into his life during their time together. Now, he couldn't seem to dislodge her and, more importantly, didn't want to.
* * * *<
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"What are you going to do today?" He paused at a stoplight, turned his head, and met her gaze. She appeared whole and healthy, although fatigue still covered her face in lines under her eyes. Although she showed no signs of stiffness, he'd warrant she had a few aching muscles from sleeping on the floor after hours of the manual labor of cleaning up a horrendous mess left by a nefarious intruder.
She would have physically felt better if she spent the night at his house, but he couldn't deny her logical reason to confront her fear of staying in her apartment. Maybe he'd mention later she was still welcome to come over and crash at his place. His heart thumped at the thought of Josie under his roof. For potentially several days, until she found a new place to live. The idea both excited and unsettled him. They'd gotten along fine before, but having her move in with him, even for a week, threw his mind into the chaos of indecision.
"I need to buy new mattresses first. A couch, too. After that, I need to go apartment searching." She pushed a stray hair away from her face.
A thought came to him. "Before you go looking for a new place to live, you might call Ryan."
She blinked at him in sheer puzzlement. "What would he know about apartments?"
"The FBI has safe houses and contacts all around this city. He could probably get you a good place at a decent price."
"Oh."
"It can't hurt to ask."
She lowered her chin. "That's just it. I hate to ask since I feel like I'm begging."
Ghost's Treasure Page 15