by Blue Saffire
There are things in his past that have made him the man he is today. He has said as much. ‘Baby, you know that I have a particular preference in the bedroom. There are reasons for that preference.’
I remember his words clearly. I also remember the look he gave me when I went to ask him to elaborate. And I remember his promise to tell me those reasons. ‘In time we’ll get to those reasons,’ were his words.
I think we are at a point that I need him to make good on that promise. I know Nick will protect me, but I just have this sinking feeling that tells me we are all about to be blindsided. I, for one, have had enough of being blindsided.
The more honest Nick is with me the better prepared I can be for whatever is headed our way. I am sure of it. My thoughts are rattling in circles when I hear voices headed our way.
Nick stepped out a few minutes ago. I am surprised when Nick and Luke enter the room, followed by Ettie and Andrew and my mother. I haven’t spoken to my mother in weeks.
I sigh when I realize I am wearing sleep pants and a tank top. My hair is a wild frizzy mess. I frown at my thoughts and shrug it off. This is the place I call home. I don’t have to apologize for being relaxed in my own home.
“Well, it is good to see my daughter is still alive. I thought something must have happened to you. I didn’t think it possible that you could go weeks without talking to your own mother and be in good health,” Mother starts right away.
“Faraz,” Nick sighs. “Sephora has been very busy with work.”
“You are such a dear, Nick. I appreciate you trying to cover for my daughter, but she knows she is wrong,” she replies to Nick.
I can almost see steam coming out of his ears. Once again like inside of the conference room yesterday I find my voice and my backbone. I stand and move next to Nick before he tells my mother off and throws her out.
Placing my hand in Nick’s I squeeze gently. “Hello mother, last I checked the phone works both ways. I don’t believe I have changed my number. I also don’t recall seeing any missed calls. I was only without a phone for two days tops. Though I doubt you tried to call during that time. You are looking lovely today, so I am assuming you have been, well,” I say and lift a brow at my mother.
Her mouth drops open and Nick squeezes my hand back. I peek at him from the corner of my eyes and see a smile on his lips. I turn to see Ettie with a proud grin of her own and Andrew is trying to smother a laugh.
Luke on the other hand, has his attention focused on one person and one person only. I don’t even think he has heard any of the exchange as his eyes devour Kimmie, who sits frozen on the couch looking right back at him. My heart breaks for her as tears start to swim in her eyes.
Before I can make a move to console her, she is on her feet headed for the nearest bathroom. It won’t be long before that secret is out. I sigh and turn back to my mother who happens to just be recovering.
“Yes, well, I wish I could say the same for you, dear. You should wait to get a ring on your finger before you stop presenting your best. You wouldn’t want to send Nick running off to the next pretty and more suitable option,” my mother retorts.
Nick snorts and I swear he growls. “Sephora is just as beautiful to me now as she is dressed in the latest fashion, with a face full of makeup. Actually, I love her even more this way. Faraz, you are going to have to find a way to refrain from speaking the way you do to my future wife. I don’t like it and I don’t want my children hearing it.
“If you intend to be a part of our lives and our family’s life, then you need to bury those problems you have with yourself and stop trying to impose them on Sephora,” Nick says with finality.
“Wow, if I didn’t like you before, I am in love with you now,” Ettie smiles at Nick.
“Nicholas, I never,” Mother says and lifts her chin.
“Faraz, I think that is the problem. You never and it is time you did,” Nick says with a lifted brow.
I can see my mother stewing, but she also knows that Nick is very serious. I wish I could fist pump right now to see my mother firmly put in her place. I want to pat myself on the back for sticking up for myself as well. I haven’t been calling her because I am tired of her verbally battering me.
It doesn’t escape my notice that Luke is no longer in the room. I will bet my life he is standing sentinel outside of the bathroom Kimmie is in, emptying the contents in her stomach. Boy is he in for a surprise.
“Maybe we can all have a seat now,” Andrew suggests. Ever the diplomat.
Nick pulls me over to the accent chair he had been sitting in earlier and pulls me into his lap. Mother makes her way over to a chair and sits dramatically. Ettie shakes her head as she and Andrew take a seat together on the couch.
Just then Kimmie and Luke return to the room. Kimmie is fidgeting with the hem of her shirt as she walks a few steps ahead of Luke. Luke looks like he is in physical pain as he watches her every move.
I sigh. She has to tell him the truth and soon. I promised her I would be there for her when she does. I just don’t think this is the ideal time to let that cat out of the bag. My mother can make a stressful situation worse with just her presence so I roll my lips in, to hold in the words that want to fly out of my mouth.
As if reading my mind, Nick leans into my ear to whisper. “If he doesn’t figure it out on his own, we’ll wait for your mother to leave and then she can tell him. We’ll be there for both of them.”
I turn to look Nick in the eyes. He winks at me. I guess it wouldn’t be too hard to figure it out after spending the day with Kimmie. She has spent most of it running to the bathroom.
I snuggle into his warmth. I don’t think I could ask for a better man. I find myself smiling as my mother and Ettie launch into talk of the wedding. God will I be happy when my sister is finally married.
Nick
There was no way I was going to sit back and let Faraz gun for Sephora right here in my own home. I have no problems putting her in her place. Although I was so proud of Sephora for sticking up for herself.
My mind has been on the problem that is brewing. I hadn’t been expecting the entire Emilsson family. Luke had said he was coming to see Sephora, but I’m no fool. Once I told him Kimmie was staying here, there was no way he wasn’t coming to my home.
I have the one thing that Luke can’t live without, sleeping under my roof. He has been miserable without Kimmie. For months he has been stewing in his mistake. You can see the regret swimming in his eyes.
I know once he realizes that he is about to be a father, he is going to be a wreck. I am here for him. Lucian and I may luck horns, but we are always there for each other. It has always been that way between us. He was there for me with Ivana. I will be there for him now.
It didn’t take me long to figure out what was going on with Kimmie. Even with everything going on in my mind, I noticed something was up. I was sure of it by mid-morning. I figure out exactly what it was by this afternoon.
Maybe this is what Luke needs. He is so sure he can never come back from the damage of the past, but I think he just need to have something that will call him from the darkness the way Sephora has called me back.
Everyone is more relaxed now that Andrew and Ettie have taken Faraz home. The woman could drive anyone bat shit crazy. I couldn’t wait for dinner to end. She wouldn’t throw jabs directly at Sephora, but her eyes spoke volumes. My little soldier held her own though. Sephora sat through dinner with her head held high in her lounge wear and all.
“Why are you going to the bathroom so much,” Luke asks as Kimmie reenters the room.
It is the first time he has spoken a word directly to Kimmie all night. His face is pale as he asks the question. I think he has already figured the answer out. The blood drains from Kimmie’s face as well. She shoots Sephora a pleading look.
I squeeze Sephora’s thigh to keep her in place at my side. Luke stands and moves to stand in front of Kimmie. Kimmie is still twisting the fabric of her tee shirt in her fin
gers. Her head is down as she looks to her feet.
Luke places his finger underneath Kimmie’s chin and lifts her face to his. He leans down until they are face to face, nose to nose. You can feel the anxiety coming off of both of them. I don’t realize that I am holding my breath for Kimmie’s answer until she speaks.
“I’m pregnant,” she whispers.
Luke stiffens right before my eyes. “Come again,” Luke says in shock, a mask of awe written all over his face.
“I’m about three months pregnant,” Kimmie repeats.
I see the single tear that slides down Luke’s cheek. “You were pregnant that night,” he chokes out.
Kimmie nods as a pained expression takes over her face. “Yes,” she says softly. “I didn’t know then.”
I watch my friend’s knees buckle right from underneath him. If his arms didn’t move to wrap securely around Kimmie’s waist, he would have toppled her over.
I have never seen Luke cry. Not even when I sat next to him as he received the phone call that his father had died. I was with him the whole time right up until the day of the funeral when I had to return to California to see to my own business affairs.
I watch as he holds Kimmie with his face in her belly, rocking them back and forth as a deep sob rakes through his body. It is enough to chill my bones. Sephora gasps next to me at the sound of her brother falling apart.
I pull her into my lap and hold her tight to keep her from interfering. I already feel like we are intruding on an intimate moment. Once I am sure that Kimmie is okay, we are going to give them the space they need. I know Sephora will worry about her otherwise.
“I knew we shouldn’t have tried to play that night. I knew I was too far gone before we started. I’m so sorry, Baby,” Luke says with thick emotion. “I put you and our baby in danger. I’m so, fucking sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I saw when I lost you. I saw the moment I should have stopped you. I knew when I’d reached my limit. I was the one that never said anything,” Kimmie sods as she cups the back of Luke’s head.
“I love you so much. It kills me that I hurt you. That I let my past hurt you,” Luke breathes into her stomach.
“I love you, too. I missed you so much. I’m sorry I broke our trust,” Kimmie sobs.
Luke claws at her back. “Shh, this isn’t your fault. I can read you like the back of my hand. I should have pulled back, I never should have given in. I knew my head was fucked up.”
I decided that this is the point where Sephora and I leave. Tears are streaming down Sephora’s face. I know her heart is breaking for both her brother and her best friend. I have to admit I am almost moved to tears.
I would be gutted if I ever lost sight and hurt Sephora in a time that is supposed to be meant for pleasure. Luke is right, he knows better than to take a sub, any sub, but especially one he cares for, to play during a time when he gets as dark as he does.
I know he didn’t mean for his sadistic side to come out with Kimmie, but most of our crew has been there. Only a few can say that they play for fun and not to run from the darkness that consumes them. I once crossed over to a place where I only wanted to feed that darkness. Now I have Sephora. Everything has changed.
I lift her in my arms and carry her from the scene of her best friend and mine. They will figure out their own shit. Sephora and I still have a few things we need to get straight.
Sephora
I have never ever seen Lucian cry. Never. Not even at our father’s funeral. I don’t think there was a time he cried when we were younger. Watching my big brother fall to his knees and cry before Kimmie will be something that I don’t think I will ever forget and it will be a long time before I can shake it.
I hurt for both Kimmie and Luke. I can’t begin to imagine what really happened that night. Nick has always taken such good care of me when he takes me into his world. I can’t imagine him losing control to the point that he could hurt me or not see me.
I know it is a misunderstanding and a really bad situation. I didn’t miss Kimmie’s silent flinch when Luke first went to touch her. She covered it well or at least it didn’t seem that Luke noticed.
I just pray that they can fix it for the sake of the baby. I can’t believe I am going to be an auntie. So much has happened in the last few days I am still trying to wrap my head around it all.
I am still processing it all as Nick places me in the middle of the bed and moves to his nightstand. I pull my knees into my chest and rest my cheek on them as I think about the little life Luke and Kimmie are bringing into the world.
If I didn’t know it before I know it now, Luke is crazy about Kimmie. He wouldn’t or couldn’t take his eyes off of her all night. I was sure he was going to figure things out the way he watched her like a hawk. His eyes were narrowed on her as she refused wine with dinner and spent more time pushing food around her plate then she did eating it.
I am still thinking when the bed dips and Nick crawls behind me, caging me in between his legs as he puts one on each side of me. He brushes my hair aside to gain access to my neck, brushing a soft kiss along my skin.
“They will be fine. His intentions were never to hurt Kimmie. I believe that is one of the reasons he tried to avoid a relationship with her. Well, that and her age,” Nick chuckles.
I pout knowing Kimmie and I are the same age, as are Nick and Luke. I turn slightly to look up at him. Nick pecks me on my lips and gives me that amazing, breathtaking smile of his.
“Has my age ever been a problem for you,” I ask.
“Not in the way you are implying. I wouldn’t have tried to date you when we first met. I think at that time you did need a few years to mature, but as far as the gap is concerned now, I think we are perfect for each other psychologically, so chronologically it is of no consequence,” Nick shrugs.
“I love you,” I beam up at him.
“I love you, too,” he says as desire fills his eyes. “Now, turnaround and lift your hair.”
I lift a brow at him, but I do as he asks turning and lifting my hair up. I smile when Nick places my necklace back around my neck. I run my fingers across it and finger the butterfly thinking of locking it into place.
“Not yet, my butterfly, but soon,” Nick whispers in my ear, ever the mind reader.
I let my hand fall into my lap. Once again Nick’s words ring in my ear. ‘No, not now. When you lock this collar there will be no me letting you go. I need you to know all of me before you make that decision. You are not ready for that, Baby.’
“When will I know all of you,” blurts from my mouth before I can stop the words.
Nick sighs and cages his arms around me. “Very, very soon,” Nick says with his voice filled with remorse. “Don’t run from me.”
“I won’t,” I whisper.
Chapter 10
Bare Bones
Sephora
It has been two weeks since that night Nick promised to reveal himself to me fully. I’ve been distracted with working from home so I haven’t mentioned it again. You would think working from home would be easier, but it’s not.
I feel like I have twice the work to do, but my team is the best and they have been handling the transition well. Today was the first day Nick actually let me go into the office. However, he has been stuck to me like glue. He only allowed me to go into the office because we would be attending the same meetings.
I am not complaining. Nick gives me more breathing room than I can say Luke gives Kimmie. Luke has practically moved into our house. Nick says it is because he is still feeling too guilty to be alone with Kimmie without us there for a buffer.
They don’t even share the same room. Lucian has been staying in the guestroom next door to Kimmie’s. Honestly, I think Kimmie is just as afraid. I asked her why she hasn’t gone back to our place. She and Luke can have separate rooms there. She made up something about being close to me since security is on high alert. Something about Winston being able to keep a better eye on us if we are in t
he same place.
Sure Kimmie. I don’t know who she thinks she’s fooling, yanno. I haven’t said a thing. It is cute to watch Luke dote on her. I think he is really happy about the baby. They haven’t told anyone yet outside of Nick and myself. Luke said he wants to wait until after Ettie’s wedding.
The wedding is in another five weeks. Kimmie will be almost five months by then. I don’t think they will be able to hide much longer than that.
“Sephora, let’s go,” Nick calls from inside the bedroom.
“I’m coming,” I call back.
I know he is frustrated with me. I have been taking way too much time getting ready for our date. He won’t tell me where we are going so I have no idea what to wear. It is his fault I have changed a million times already.
I freaked out when he changed into a simple pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. I wasn’t expecting him to be so casual. I finally decided on a short purple circle skirt and a grey thin strap tank top. I was going to go with flats, but I know how much Nick loves when I wear heels and they help in the height department when I am standing next to him.
I decided on a pair of grey high heel ankle sandals. I step out of the bathroom after swiping on some lip gloss. The reaction on Nick’s face says it all. His jade green eyes darken as he looks me over head to toe.
“You are so fucking gorgeous,” Nick breathes. “I love your chocolate skin. I just want to lick every inch of you. I already know you taste sweet; it just makes my mouth water even more to have you.”
I walk over to him and place my hands on his chest. “You don’t look so bad yourself,” I purr.
Nick places his hands on my hips, before dipping his head to kiss me. I am floating by the time he pulls his lips away. His tongue has just thoroughly fucked my mouth and left me panting for more. I can feel my soaked thong riding up as I wiggle my hips against Nick’s roaming hands.
He squeezes my behind as he nuzzles my neck and inhales deeply. “God, I love you,” he growls into my neck.