Lorenz felt two long arms wind themselves about his waist and a cheek rest upon his shoulder. “Of course, I do, my love. I was there, remember?”
“Em, you have family. God forbid, if we never find your father, you will always have family. My cousins, my aunt, her husband, my mother’s father, they were all sent away in different ships. I have no one left.”
Emilie straightened and moved to his side so she could look him in the eye. “Lorenz Joseph Dugas,” she stated firmly. “We are your family.”
The anger subsiding, Lorenz circled an arm about her shoulder and pulled into his chest, kissing the top of her chestnut hair. “All the more reason to marry me, Emilie. We can make it official.” The silence that lingered sliced through his heart harder than any knife. “Is it really because you think being married to me would be a freedom-less pit of drudgery?”
Emilie drew back, raising the sheet to cover her. She refused to look at him and Lorenz barely made out her answer. “I don’t want to become like my mother,” she said softly.
Lorenz started to answer, that he didn’t understand, but realization quickly hit. Why hadn’t he thought of that before? Emilie had spent thirteen years waiting for news of her father, watching her mother anguish in silence. She would dread marriage for fear of the same fate befalling her. But surely, she didn’t imagine him experiencing the same end as her father. “You’re afraid the same thing will happen to me as Joseph?”
Emilie glanced at him for a moment, then lay down facing the far wall. “I don’t want to wither away waiting for you to return, wondering where you are, if you’re alive, if you’re well. Crying myself to sleep because I’m so alone.”
“It won’t happen,” he argued.
“It might. You practically made it so three nights hence. Why didn’t you just ask the soldiers to place you on the next boat out of Louisiana?”
Lorenz lay down next to her, lightly caressing her arm with his fingertips. “I promise you I won’t act that foolishly again.”
A long silence ensued. Lorenz brushed her hair from her face, savoring the feel of her shoulders and the deep curve of her elegant neck. He kissed the top of her shoulder, sliding a hand down the length of her arm. “I love you,” he whispered. “I will promise you the moon if that’s what it takes.”
“Prove it to me,” she answered.
Lorenz pushed her shoulder back so he could see her face. “I’ll be glad to,” he said with a smile. “Before this night is over, I will kiss and love every inch of you.”
Her eyes flickered passion with the suggestion, but the hurt remained. Lorenz sighed, knowing he still had a long distance to travel before she would relent. “I promise, I will prove to you that I can change my impulsive nature.”
Emilie raised a hand to his cheek. “Do you mean it?”
Lorenz stared into the eyes he had adored since adolescence. “Yes.” He couldn’t mean anything more.
Emilie smiled slightly, placing his hand on her breast. “Then you may start kissing here.”
Feeling an enormous weight lift from his shoulders, Lorenz did exactly that. And more.
Emilie
Chapter Ten
The sunlight beamed into the tiny cabin, pouring warmth on Lorenz’s face. Under normal circumstances, he would have welcomed the unusually temperate spring sunshine and returned to the blissful state of sleep, but the realization of dawn jolted him.
“They’re coming with breakfast,” he said, remembering his conversation with Victorine Bourgeois the afternoon before.
How long had it been before the sun rose? he thought anxiously, jumping out of bed and grabbing his discarded clothes off the floor. The second candle was nearly extinguished and daylight seeped in through the cracks in the walls. After Lorenz pulled on his breeches, he opened the shutters and cautiously peered outside the cypress walls. Thankfully, there was no one about.
“Where’s the fire?” Emilie said to his rear.
“It’s dawn.” Lorenz leaned out slightly to peer around the corner of the house. He breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing no one in the common area between the houses, until a chicken scattered across the path. If the chickens were awake, it was certain some of their owners were as well, despite the late-night dance.
“Merde,” Lorenz said. “I’ve got to get out of here before Celestine and her mother arrive.”
Emilie giggled as she watched him throw on his shirt and button his vest in the wrong holes. “Watch your mouth, Lorenz. A woman could pick up bad habits from the likes of you.”
His deep eyes sparkled as he cast a quick glance and a smile her way, but his attention remained on getting dressed. “Emilie, I wish to spend my life sharing bad habits with you. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to do it right now.”
Emilie sat up, tucked the sheet underneath her arms and began to correct his hasty dressing. While she worked at the buttons of his vest, he tucked in his shirt and reached down to affix the ties at his knees. When his head became linear with hers, he sneaked a kiss, memorizing the softness of her mouth for the long passages of time when he wouldn’t be able to hold her. Her hands on his chest, Emilie returned the favor, then beamed when she raised her eyes to his.
“God, I love you,” he said, feeling the words reverberate throughout his soul. He grazed her cheek with his back of his hand. “I never thought it was possible for you to be lovelier, but today I believe you are.”
Before Emilie could react, he kissed her once again, then seized his shoes and bolted out the door.
The bed that been ablaze with their lovemaking now felt cold and empty. Emilie slid back inside the sheets, but even the woolen blankets did little to replace the warmth of Lorenz’s body next to hers. She leaned into the pillow they shared and breathed in his scent. She knew now that it was impossible to live without him.
He promised her he would change. He swore he would not act foolishly and put his life in danger. Their future together was not an impossibility, just as Anna had said.
Emilie snuggled into the pillow and smiled. What a glorious night. What an amazing morning. If only Gabrielle and Rose were here to share it with her. If only her mother was present to confide in. Marianne would be furious with them, and for good reason; she and Lorenz enjoyed what should have been saved for the wedding night. But Emilie knew her mother would understand. Emilie had overheard Pélagie Leblanc joke to her mother about Emilie’s birthdate and Emilie had always assumed her presence in the world was a liberty her parents had taken before their marriage. Her parents never could keep their hands off each other. It was a wonder she had only two sisters.
Emilie hugged the pillow to her chest, remembering how her father used to arrive home, lifting Marianne into the air and kissing her warmly before greeting the children. The way her mother rested her head on his lap while he recited stories by the fireside. The light that perpetually shined in their eyes when they looked at one another. She could have the same life with Lorenz, couldn’t she?
The sound of two women talking outside of the cabin caught Emilie’s attention and she remembered Celestine and her mother promising to visit at first light. For the first time since she had arrived in Cabannocé, Emilie longed for their company. She wanted to be around women this morning. If not her dear mother and sisters, than another caring mother and daughter. The way they had fused over her the night before, pressing her clothes and braiding her hair with wildflowers, Emilie looked forward to the breakfast.
Suddenly she remembered her state of dress and a panic filled her. What would they think if they found her naked, her clothes strewn about the cabin? Emilie sat up and searched the cabin for her nightdress but found it nowhere within reach. As the voices got closer, she feared she would never dress that fast, but she had no choice. She inhaled deeply, then threw back the sheets and began pulling on pieces of clothing one at a time. As she rushed through the buttons of her own vest, she wished she hadn’t laughed at Lorenz.
“Emilie,” she heard Celestine call
out. “May we come in?”
“Just a moment,” Emilie answered, hoping the panic festering in her chest wasn’t evident in her voice. “Let me straighten up a bit in here first.”
Footsteps could be heard on the wooden steps leading up to the cabin. “No need for you to do that,” Victorine said. “We’re all friends here.”
The vest finally buttoned and the ties at her waist fastened, Emilie quickly glanced around the cabin while Celestine opened the door. Just before the young girl looked up from carrying Emilie’s breakfast on a tray, Emilie spied Lorenz’s hat lying on the floor. With a deft motion, Emilie kicked it under the bed a second before the women made eye contact.
“How are you this morning?” Celestine asked, placing the tray on the nightstand.
“Did we wake you?” Victorine asked as she followed behind her daughter into the cabin.
Emilie brushed her hair with the palm of her hand. “Just dressing. Forgive me for not being presentable. It’s been a long time since I have stayed up late.”
“Don’t be silly, child,” Victorine said. “We were hoping you would have a nice, long sleep. I trust you slept well.”
The thought of Lorenz leading a long trail of kisses down her body flitted through her mind and Emilie could feel the blush spreading across her face like a grass fire. “I slept very well, thank you,” she assured the older woman, who smiled broadly at the news.
“Bon,” Victorine said. “Lorenz assured us a quiet night alone would do wonders for you and I’m happy to see he was right.”
Emilie couldn’t help but match her smile. “It did wonders for me all right.”
“We have brought you breakfast,” Celestine inserted. “Are you hungry?”
Famished was a better word, but she couldn’t forget her manners. “Please, sit down,” she said, motioning for the women to sit on the cabin’s only chairs. Emilie sat on the bed, glancing down to make sure Lorenz’s hat was well concealed.
Celestine removed the towel covering the tray and a large collection of bread, fruit, select meats and a slice of the gateaux de syrup emerged before her. “It’s more than you could possibly eat,” the petite girl explained. “We brought along more than enough, plus some leftovers from last night in case Lorenz happened along.”
Emilie gazed at the platter of food and stifled a laugh. She knew she could eat each and every morsel. “Merci beaucoup,” Emilie said before tearing off a piece of the bread and biting into an apple slice.
“Bonjour,” a voice called from outside the cabin and Emilie felt a shiver run up her spine thinking of its owner. Only minutes had passed since he left, and it had felt like years.
“It’s Lorenz,” Celestine announced, and the sound of his name made Emilie’s heart skip.
Lorenz tall form filled the threshold and he greeted the women warmly. When he glanced Emilie’s way, his eyes spoke volumes.
“We have bread and meats,” Celestine announced proudly. “Breakfast for a king.”
“Wonderful,” Lorenz said, seating himself next to Emilie on the bed. “But I would hate to deny Emilie of her breakfast.” He was so close Emilie could easily bury her face in the midnight locks curling at his nape or taste the rough skin that needed a good shave. If she nibbled on his earlobe, she wondered if he would moan like he had the night before.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Celestine said, breaking her from her ardent thoughts. “Emilie couldn’t eat all that food.”
When Lorenz turned his black eyes on her, a sly smile gracing his lips, Emilie wanted nothing more at that moment than to have those exploring lips on hers. “Oh, I would suspect Emilie is quite hungry this morning.”
Emilie wasted no time taking his bait. “And I suppose you aren’t? After all that dancing you did last night.”
Lorenz continued to grin while he reached across her and chose a crust of bread, purposely rubbing his arm against hers in the process. “Pardon,” he whispered as he brushed past her, sending forth a round of goosebumps along her arms.
“By the way,” he added, signaling to her vest with his eyes. “You missed a button.”
Emilie blushed when she found a button out of place, then steeled her eyes when she realized Lorenz was laughing at her expense. But he didn’t have the last word yet. “Where’s your hat, Lorenz?”
The slice of bread froze on the way to his lips and Emilie could have sworn his face colored. When he turned toward her, his eyes sparkling with merriment, she knew he loved the game as much as she. “Must have lost it in the passion of the dance,” he said so softly, she felt her heart pounding in her chest.
“Why didn’t you dance last night?” Celestine asked Emilie. The question caused the temperature in the cabin to drop significantly, for which Emilie was grateful. Their little game was going to get them in trouble.
“I wasn’t in the mood for dancing,” Emilie answered, picking up the slice of cake before Lorenz could grab it. “I was trying to find information about my father and find someone with a boat to get us across the Mississippi.”
“I already did find someone,” Lorenz said between bites of bread. “Phillip knows a man a few leagues upriver who could sail us over to St. Gabriel.”
“Blanchard,” Victorine said. “Eraste Blanchard. Crusty old ‘Cadien, but a nice man. He’ll be glad to get you across the river as long as the weather holds.”
Simultaneously, Lorenz and Emilie leaned toward the open window and examined the sky. Round puffs of clouds floated across their view, but the wind howled around the corner of the cabin, sending a slight chill from the north.
“Not a good sign,” Lorenz said softly, confirming Emilie’s fears that the pleasant spring weather they were experiencing was short lived. “It feels like inclement weather might be coming.”
“If you don’t sail over today, then you will soon enough,” Celestine said with a hopeful smile. “I’m sure we’ll be able to entertain you while you wait.”
Emilie knew the young girl wanted Lorenz around as long as possible. She hoped the girl wasn’t falling in love. They had to leave as soon as possible, for everyone’s sakes.
“They need to move on and find Emilie’s father,” Victorine said, patting her daughter lightly on the knee. To Emilie and Lorenz, she added, “She doesn’t remember the exile. She doesn’t know what it’s like to be separated from family.”
“I remember,” Celestine argued, glancing at Lorenz as if the knowledge would reveal she was shy of fourteen. “I don’t want you to leave so soon.”
“I have to get to St. Gabriel,” Emilie said firmly. “I’ll row the boat myself if I have to.”
Victorine placed a hand on her arm and squeezed at the same time Lorenz picked up her free hand. Emilie wondered if her voice had betrayed the wellspring of emotions lingering inside her. To her surprise, tears welled in her eyes.
“Like I said before,” Lorenz said softly in her ear, “I will find him if it takes the last breath in...” He paused, still rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. “Let me rephrase that. I will find him. And I will do it unimpetuously.”
Emilie laughed while a tear stole its way down her cheek. “There’s no such word.”
“You’re right,” Lorenz said gently, wiping the tear away and taking the opportunity to caress the rest of her cheek. “No such word in our vocabulary.”
“Well, it’s getting late,” Victorine said. “Come now, Celestine. We have chores to do, especially if the weather turns bad.”
Celestine frowned, clearly unhappy to be leaving the man of her dreams and probably the most unusual woman she had ever met, but her mother pulled on her sleeve and they made their farewells and exited the house. Lorenz saw them to the door, then turned and gave Emilie a questioning look.
“Do you think she suspects?”
“I don’t know. It is odd that she would leave us alone, unchaperoned. Maybe she’s afraid her daughter might be falling for you and she’d hate to have such a louse in the family. But a cussing woman like me
would deserve such a horrid man.”
Lorenz bounded across the floor, grabbed several apple slices, stretched himself across the bed and placed his head on to her lap. “Your mother and sisters have not complained about me,” he mumbled between bites.
“My mother and sisters have not complained to your face,” Emilie said, finishing off the cake and placing the empty plate on the tray. “They’re used to you, is all.”
They were so comfortable laying together on the bed, playfully fighting and enjoying breakfast after an endless night of passion. It would be so easy being married to Lorenz, no pretenses, no awkwardness between them. Gabrielle and Rose adored Lorenz and Marianne considered him to be the son she never had. It was the natural course of action.
Still, doubts festered inside her, ones born of fear that her father would not be waiting for her in St. Gabriel. She kept seeing Joseph at the bow of a ship, moving farther and farther away as the pain of abandonment ripped at her heart. Was she becoming like her mother, experiencing visions of the future, or was her anxiety casting a permanent shadow over her soul, interfering with her ability to be happy?
“I miss my mother,” Emilie said, trying to dismiss the aching in her heart, an anguish that only her family would fully understand. “I wish my sisters were here.”
Lorenz captured her hand and kissed the inside of her palm. “It won’t be long, chèr. Besides, your sisters are probably thankful to be rid of their overbearing head of the family.”
Emilie withdrew her hand from his grasp and slapped him playfully. “I am not overbearing.”
Straightening, Lorenz laughed. “You have never forgotten that your father left you in charge.”
“And what if he did? I have to take care of my family. My mother cannot do it alone. And I have to look after my sisters, they are younger than me.”
Twisting a lock of her hair in his fingers, Lorenz kissed her, melting her defiance. “Your mother is stronger than you think. As for your sisters, they are of marrying age themselves, Em. Maybe now, without you around, a man might have a chance.”
Emilie (The Cajun Series Book 1) Page 14