by Tara West
“They don’t.” His voice trailed off as he shuffled his feet and averted his gaze. “But I grabbed it while I was out collecting souls today.”
“Thank you so much.” I pressed the bar to my nose and inhaled. I loved the way the tinfoil smelled, nearly as divine as the candy tasted. “How did you know I liked them?”
He briefly met my gaze. “The night I picked you up, I saw an empty wrapper at your apartment.”
Bam! That melting heart of mine was splattered by a steamroller. What kind of a guy would do something so thoughtful? Certainly nobody I’d ever dated.
“You did?” I couldn’t help but smile as I batted my lashes. “And you remembered? Thanks, Grim.”
What happened next was purely done by instinct.
A guy gives a girl presents, the girl is supposed to give him a kiss, right?
It was just an innocent peck on the cheek, nothing meant to invoke a physical reaction, but even the simple act of my hand on his shoulder, my lips on his smoothly shaven face, turned my insides to molten lava.
I backed away quickly, afraid to glance anywhere beneath his waistline, because if I saw a bulge, I might have gotten the urge to stroke it.
Clutching the chocolate to my chest, I leaned against the doorframe, needing something to anchor my liquefied legs. I stared into his eyes, once a bright blue, now a dark shade of cobalt.
“I still have that movie,” he mumbled as his gaze wavered. “I’ve got a flat screen if you want to come watch it.”
“I’ve got a flat screen now, too. My uncle got it for me.”
He backed up a step as a shadow crossed his features. “Oh, all right then.”
I stepped back, too, but instead of doing the smart thing and closing the door, I pushed it wide open. Sure, it was only a door, but at the rate things were progressing, I’d be spreading my legs wide open soon enough, too.
“Do you want to come inside?” I asked, but not in the same defiant tone I’d come to use with Grim. No, this time I was channeling my sultry voice, my inner temptress, and it took all my willpower not to grab him by the base of that tie, pull him onto my sofa, and climb on top of that hard body.
“Sure.” He followed me inside.
Ashley MacLeod, the sex-depraved spinster, was gone by the time we settled on the sofa. In her place was Ash the temptress, aka Ash the horny slut bag, who really needed to get laid. And at the moment, I couldn’t think of a single reason why screwing Grim’s brains out would be a bad idea. Sure, maybe I’d have regrets tomorrow, but at least I’d have a chocolate bar to console me.
I watched him like a hawk watches a mouse as he settled on the far end of my sofa. Those black slacks of his hitched up way too high in his crotch. He looked far too adorably sexy as he shifted around, trying to get comfortable.
I crossed my legs beneath me, pulling up the hem of my dress so it “accidentally” revealed my bare calves. Then I peeled back the tinfoil on the chocolate bar. “Want a bite?” I asked, waving the candy at him.
“No, thanks.” He had this deer-in-the-headlights expression as he scooted back.
Okay, either the guy was terrified or just not into me. If he wasn’t into me, he wouldn’t have shown up with flowers and chocolate, right? But he was the freaking Grim Reaper. How could he possibly be terrified of one little horny legal secretary?
These mixed signals had me all confused, not to mention, my libido was deflating faster than Kim K’s boobs in a head-on collision.
Luckily, I had a ready remedy to soothe the sting of his rejection. I bit into the candy bar, moaning in delight as the rich flavors swirled around my tongue. Chocolate: the sexually starved woman’s answer to an absence of orgasms. “Mmm. This is better than sex.”
His eyes widened. “Is that so?”
Oops. I hadn’t meant to think that out loud. I needed a quick recovery. “I used to think so,” I blurted, “but not after….” I gasped and slapped my hand over my mouth, but it was too late. The damage had already been done.
One thick brow arched. “After you had sex with my double?” His mouth hitched up in that annoying, yet sexy, smug grin. So much for his terror moments earlier. Guess he finally remembered how to channel his inner asshole.
I rolled my eyes and set the chocolate on the coffee table. “You’re never going to let me live that one down, are you?”
"I’m sorry." He actually had the nerve to look embarrassed. I wasn't buying it.
"No, you’re not." I scooted toward him, sat up on my knees, and poked him in the chest. "Admit it, you’re flattered."
He looked down at my finger, which was somehow still poking, or maybe stroking, his chest. "I thought you didn’t like me."
"I don’t," I said as I flattened my hand. Even through his thick coat and stiff shirt, I could feel his heart beating. It was pounding pretty fast for a dead guy.
Frowning, Grim grasped my hand in his. "I can’t blame you. Not after what I did to you."
Wow. Was Grim apologizing for leaving me high and dry after that grope fest? Actually, though I appreciated his sudden remorse, it was killing my mood. Horny and awkward didn't go so well together.
"What do you mean?" Feigning innocence, I batted my lashes and licked my lower lip.
His mouth set in a hard line as he squeezed my hand tighter. "I promised you your afterlife would be better than the life you left behind."
It took me a moment to process what he was saying, but then I vaguely recalled the promise he'd made to me on the night I died. Really? Was that what the guy was hung up about?
I shook my head, laughing, trying to infuse some humor into the situation. "You didn’t know I’d get kicked out of Heaven."
The shadows in his eyes darkened. "I don’t like breaking my promises, Ash."
"Well, you don’t have to worry, because I’m not going to hold you to it."
He let go of my hand. "That's not the point." Just great. Mr. Love 'Em and Leave 'Em had picked a hell of a time to have a conscience.
Then it hit me. The chocolate and flowers wasn't a romantic gesture. It was an apology. Duh. Well, didn't I feel like eternity's biggest fool? I scooted away, needing to put distance between us. "Is that why you’re bringing me presents? Because of a promise? This attention you’re giving me is all out of pity?"
He moved toward me. "No."
Pouting, I crossed my arms, which was kind of hard with torpedo tits in the way. "Then why are you here?"
Grim didn't give me time to react as he pulled me against his hard chest and his lips came crashing down on mine. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I should have protested, but my traitorous body melted into that kiss. He tasted like warm spice and cool mint, his own personal blend of Heaven.
"That’s why," he breathed into my mouth before capturing my lips again.
I had no idea how long that kiss lasted. Five minutes. Ten. It could have lasted an eternity, and it wouldn't have been long enough. He stroked down my back before cupping my ass in his strong hands. I moaned as he squeezed and then massaged my globes. He lifted me until I straddled his leg, and then he began grinding a knee into my sweet spot. Oh, heavenly Father, I could have come right then and there.
My hands feverishly roamed his chest as I pulled his jacket over those broad shoulders.
Before I could loosen the knot of his tie, he pulled back. "I need to go," he panted against my cheek.
Chest heaving, I cupped his face and searched his gaze. "Why?" I begged. Great. A few seconds of knee fucking, and he’d reduced me to a whimpering puppy.
He pushed me off of him, and I fell onto the sofa with an unladylike grunt.
Coursing his fingers through his hair, he flashed a pained expression. "Because I refuse to take advantage of you, Ash."
I wanted to tell him maybe I wanted to be taken advantage of, or maybe I wanted to take advantage of him, but I didn't say a word as he excused himself and walked out my front door. Grim had made me feel like enough of a whore already, and I refused to b
eg for it. I draped a hand across my brow and moaned with the ache of unsated desire. I sure hoped they sold vibrators in Purgatory.
Damn. I should have bartered for some new bras yesterday, but Uncle said I needed to save those last slices of cheesecake. I frowned at my reflection in the foggy full-length mirror. In vain, I’d tried to poke the nipples back in. When that didn’t work, I’d attempted to reshape the bra with safety pins. That ended up in a punctured boob and lots and lots of swearing and crying. Note to self: when sticking a needle anywhere within the radius of your tit, angle the pointy side away from your nipple.
Other than the fact that my boobs could possibly poke the eyes out of any short people or tall children within a five-foot radius, I still loved my new wardrobe. The pastel pink dress with a rose belt buckle and little rose-shaped buttons cinched at the waist and flared at the hips. The tight bodice with oversized collar emphasized my “missiles” and the wide, flowing skirt masked my child-bearing hips. After trying on all of Grandma’s dresses last night, I convinced myself I’d been born in the wrong decade.
If only I’d lived in the era of pinup models instead of diet shakes and weight loss pills, I might have actually had a bit more self-confidence, and maybe, just maybe, a boyfriend who didn’t require batteries.
I spun a slow circle, admiring my long legs and those adorable matching pastel-pink pumps. I secretly hoped I’d pass Grim in the hall on my way to work. Inés had come over this morning and fixed my hair and makeup, rounding out what she called my “bombshell” look. She’d put up my hair, leaving just a few kinky strands at my nape, applied a tasteful amount of makeup, and then she pelted me with endless questions about my uncle, like did he have anyone significant waiting for him behind the Pearly Gates or just a valet? What did his valet look like? What had he done for a living? How did he die, and a million other questions.
By the end of my beauty treatment, I was convinced she’d offered to help me for the inside scoop on a potential boyfriend. Despite her incessant questions, her artistry had done the trick. Though I’d never considered myself a vain person, I had to admit I looked beautiful.
I was startled by a loud banging. Swearing under my breath, I stomped out of the bathroom and threw open the door. I knew who it was because Grim’s booming knock always rattled my walls, furniture, and eardrums.
“Sorry, Grim.” I said with an impatient flick of the wrist. “No time for kissing and groping. I have to get to work.”
Truthfully, I would have gladly made time for kissing and groping, but I knew it would just end in another pair of soaked panties and a frustrating lack of orgasms.
He stood there for a moment, looking exceptionally sexy in snug denim and a windbreaker jacket, and gawked at me. And when I say gawked, I mean his jaw was practically dragging the floor.
I shifted, suddenly uncomfortable in my skin as his gaze traveled the length of my body, lingering for an extra beat on my torpedo tits.
“By thunder,” he said on a slow exhale, “you’re stunning.”
Heat flamed my face like wildfire. “Thanks.” I averted my eyes, fumbling with the pink rose on my belt buckle. How did this guy manage to make me feel beautiful and desirable one moment and then walk away as if I was unappealing and discarded the next? And why, oh why, did I let his opinion affect me at all?
Grim must have come from my Grandma’s generation. That would explain why he didn’t hint that I needed to hit the treadmill more often, like Travis had said to me after I found out he was fucking our anorexic middle-aged professor. She was also the mother of three grown children nearly the same age as him, and a chain smoker. But that didn’t matter to Travis. She had somehow managed to squeeze her skanky ass into size three jeans, and she’d had just about every cosmetic surgery to lift things that were sagging and plump things that were shriveled. Plus, she had money. Lots of money. She’d ended up financing the remainder of his law school degree while I dropped out. Ashamed and heartbroken, I’d made the biggest mistake of my life and skulked away from my future like a dog with her tail between her legs. All because of a man.
“I brought you a map,” Grim said as he pushed his way into my apartment uninvited, as usual. “Inés told me your creditor didn’t give you one. You didn’t do something to anger him, did you?” He shot me an accusing look. If it wasn’t for his subtle smirk, I would have thought he was serious.
“Uhh….” I turned my gaze back to the buttons on my dress, pretending to adjust them as I followed him into the kitchen.
“Loveass is a weasel, anyhow,” he said, chuckling.
“About that,” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound like a petulant child. “Is there any way I can get a new creditor?”
Frowning, he shook his head. “Transferring creditors is nearly impossible. You’ll do best to try and stay on his good side.”
Damn. I’d kind of been hoping he’d use his Angel of Death connections and find me a new person to manage my eternal fate.
Grim pulled a little square map out of his pocket, unfolded it, and slapped it on the table. “I’ve circled all of the gluten-free restaurants in red and the Prayer Call Center in blue. You can take a taxi, but they charge a lot of credits. I suggest you walk. It’s only ten blocks.”
Ten blocks! The man obviously didn’t know how much I detested walking, or any amount of exercise that required the slightest degree of exertion. There was a reason I’d used that second-hand treadmill in my old apartment as a towel rack, and it wasn’t because the machine was broken.
“Oh, and I’ve marked the public restrooms.” He pointed to a big glaring X on the map, carefully averting his gaze, and from the looks of it, trying hard to mask a smile. “You don’t want to get lost and have another accident.”
Oh, God, can I die now? Correction: can I die again?
Maybe Purgatory had a Purgatory where I wouldn’t have to be subjected to this humiliation from my devastatingly sexy, and too-close-for-comfort, neighbor.
I snatched the map from the counter and tried to fold it back up, but I’d failed origami in art class, and I was never good at cutting on the dotted lines. Still, I needed to get this man the hell out of my apartment so I could suffer my shame in private. I forced creases to fold in the wrong direction and made new creases to get the damn thing back into a square. It ended up looking like a lopsided triangle. Close enough.
“Thanks again,” I said through a frozen smile as I nodded toward the door.
Hint, hint!
He casually shrugged, as if talking about my exploding anus was as commonplace as discussing the weather. “Don’t mention it.”
“I should probably get going.” I eyed the digital clock on my DVR player. It was already seven thirty, which meant I only had a half hour to walk ten blocks.
Before I had the chance to say no, he was handing me the coat and purse I had draped over the sofa. “I’ll walk you downstairs.” His grin was so wide, it was almost infectious. Almost. I still wondered, not for the first time, what happened to the Grim I’d met the night I died. The Grim who’d told me not to tell him how to do his job. The Grim who’d walked away from me without a backward glance.
Was he still being nice to me because of a stupid promise, or did he really like me?
I let him lead me to the elevator through our lobby. Every so often, I could feel the slight pressure of his hand on my back. I didn’t know what to think of that gesture. Was he staking his claim or afraid I needed guidance?
The first thing I noted when we stepped outside was it was misting rain. Oh, joy. Sure, I was used to gloomy weather in Seattle, but at least I’d had a car, albeit a crappy one, to get me to work, where I parked inside a dry garage. If I had to walk ten blocks in this, I’d be soaked to the bone, not to mention the humidity would make my already electrified hair look like a porcupine in a wind tunnel.
I turned to Grim with a pout. “You don’t happen to have a car, do you?”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “Cars are expensive here. Bes
ides, I never learned how to drive.”
Never learned how to drive?
Okay, maybe Grim was from before my grandma’s era, which would mean I’ve been making out with an old dude. A really old dude. And as much as I wanted to be grossed out, the thought of that old dude’s massive boner beneath snug denim and his hard as granite chest and perfectly kissable lips pretty much nullified any aversion I had to his age.
He might have been old, but he’d died young, hard, and solid. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, just as I heard a distinct bark come from the end of the street. My jaw fell open when I saw a blind man being led by a golden retriever. Dumbfounded, I gaped at them.
I held my breath as they walked past us, the dog wagging his tail as he guided his human across the street.
Why does he get his dog, and I don’t get mine?
Okay, that was a selfish thing to think. The guy obviously needed a dog more than I did. Maybe that kind of thinking was why I’d been initially assigned to level two, but I couldn’t help myself. I’d missed Jack for seventeen years, and as that familiar ache settled in my chest, I feared I’d miss him for an eternity.
“What’s wrong?” Grim asked as he settled a hand on my shoulder.
I turned to him, unable to mask the pain in my voice. “My uncle told me there were no dogs in Purgatory.”
“There aren’t usually. Occasionally, one slips in.”
“Why?” I breathed as I watched the pair get swallowed up by the busy work crowd on the other side of the road.
“Nobody knows why for sure, but some say they’ve got unfinished business.” Grim placed his hand on the small of my back again and nudged me to the corner. “Here’s your crossing. You’d better hotfoot it to the other side before the light changes.”
Hotfoot? What does that even mean?
“Just follow this street about nine more blocks.” He pointed in the direction the blind man and dog had gone. “It’s the biggest building on the block. Can’t miss it.”
“Thanks. I guess I’ll see you later.” I looked up at him through foggy eyes, not because I’d been crying but because the mist was turning into a heavy drizzle.