by Nana Malone
“I am so happy to hear you say that.” His lips slid back over mine as his thumb skimmed the underside of my bra. The shot of lust hit me hard, and I rocked my hips on his thigh. When he did it again, I threw my head back.
He trailed kisses along my jawline then dipped his head farther to my neck. “You taste so bloody sweet. And you feel even better than you taste. All I’ll be able to think about from now on is how soft you are.”
He traced a thumb over my nipple and I cried out. Moisture and heat rushed to my center, and the building need tripped me so close to the edge of ecstasy. It wouldn’t take much. Just one more stroke from his deft fingers, maybe two.
“Fuck, you are so beautiful,” he whispered.
“Alexi….”
***
Lex…
The way Abbie said my name made my heart thunder. Like in that moment I was the center of her universe. It fired every protective instinct I had. I wanted her to be mine.
But she’s not yours. When she finds out she’ll run.
Or I would find a way to keep her because I wasn’t sure if I could let her get away with it.
As I nuzzled her neck, I blinked, trying to ward off the intruding thought. She could be mine. I could let myself have something I wanted. Just this once, I might not have to hide. She’s not yours. I wanted to surround myself with her softness and forget, but I couldn’t. I should let her go.
Yet the lure of her soft skin and her open response was too much to ignore. I brushed my thumb over her nipple again. Her hoarse cry and the flexing of her hands in my hair told me she was already so close to letting go for me. There was something so pure in her response that it made me ache. She was so open.
My dick throbbed, once again begging me to sink deep inside her and forget all the nonsense about her not being mine. I could make her mine. Stamp her and make her forget that bullshit ex. I could make it so good for her right here. Just open her legs, plant my mouth on her sex and own her.
Easy Casanova, public shagging is off the table for this one. Besides, you need to take your time. If I rushed this, I could lose her.
But when her hips rocked on my leg once more, I almost lost the battle with myself about taking her in the photo lab. My imagination conjured up all kinds of positioning with the machines and furniture at hand. It would be so good just bending her over, filling her hands with my flesh.
Through the foggy haze of my brain, I heard footsteps from down the hall. My brain tried to focus on the sound, but Abbie scratched her nails through my hair, and a wave of lust drowned out rational thinking. I cupped her breast and groaned as the soft plump globe filled my hand. God.
When Abbie dragged my head back up and melded her lips back to mine, I forgot all about the phantom footsteps and where we were. I forgot all about why I couldn't be with her. I forgot everything. All that mattered was this moment with her, in my arms. It didn’t even matter that I couldn’t breathe.
It was Abbie that brought me out of the fog when her head snapped around. “What was that?”
My brain tried to shake of the blanket of lust enough to focus. “What?”
Abbie’s dark gaze flickered to mine. “Muffled beeping. Do you hear that?”
The word beeping brought my brain into better focus. Beeping. Xander’s ringtone. Right, my damn phone. Xander must have seen my car in the parking lot. “Shit.” I swiftly removed my hand from Abbie’s breast before stepping back and adjusting her T-shirt.
With an ease I didn’t feel and hard-fought nonchalance, I slowly stepped away from her and dug in my pocket for my phone.
The display said Xander, and I muffled another curse before picking up. “Hey, Xan. What’s up, big brother?” What I wanted to say was, what’s up you wanker? But my anger was better served up face to face.
“I saw your car. Are you on campus?”
I hesitated a minute before answering. I wanted to go back to touching Abbie, but something about the stiff set of her shoulders told me that wasn’t going to happen now.
Her body eventually sagged against the bookcase, and she dragged in several long, deep breaths before she moved back to the printer. She didn’t look at me, and a slice of pain stabbed at my heart.
Anybody could have walked in on us. I needed to be better aware of the risks, not just for me, but for her. It wasn’t exactly a good idea to get caught making out with a professor’s brother.
“Yeah, I’m on campus, just headed to come and see you. Wanted to ask you about something actually.”
I hung up with Xander and turned my attention to Abbie. Her back was still to me. “Did I push you too far?”
She whirled to face me, and though her face was flush, her eyes were clear and vibrant. “No. It was…” Her voice trailed as she blinked rapidly. “No. I just—I think I lost my head for a minute—again.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
She sighed. “It’s a confusing thing. Clearly we, uhm, have some chemistry.”
My body jerked as if she’d caressed me. Ready for action, dying to touch her again. “You can say that again.”
“I’m just not in a good place at all. But every time I see you, it’s hard to remember that I’m supposed to be more careful.”
I wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but I liked her open and vulnerable, not shuttered. “I won’t hurt you.”
Her smile was weak. “I’ve heard that before. You should go.”
Damn it. I didn’t want to leave things like this. “Look. I need to deal with Xander. I should have known I’d see my car. I’ll call you as soon as I’m done with him.”
She didn’t respond.
Stepping up behind her, I gently brushed her braids off the back of her neck and planted a soft kiss at her nape. “I’m sorry I have to go, but can I call you?” I kissed her softly.
She hesitated. “Alexi…I…” Her voice trailed and something cold settled in my gut.
Shit. She was going to say no. Fuck that. I was keeping her. even if she didn't know it yet. Don’t be an asshole. Give her space and she’ll be yours.
And if that didn’t work, I wasn't above using every dirty trick in the world. Her body wanted me even if her headspace wasn’t ready. I could be patient for now. But that patience would wear out eventually. If she wasn’t ready by then, I’d just have to convince her.
And I had more than one ace up my sleeve on how to do that.
I cleared my throat and forced out the words that were the antithesis of what I wanted. If I was too much too soon, I’d only scare her, and that wasn’t my intention. I wanted her here willingly. Because she could feel the inevitability of this as much as I did.
“Look, I want to see you again. I want to talk to you. I want to know what makes your eyes so sad.” I took her hand and stroked the knuckles to serve as a reminder of what I could do to her body. “But, take all the time you need. You call me when you’re ready. I know you have my number.” And if she didn't call, I’d just be in her face until I was unavoidable, but I wisely kept that to myself.
She nodded slowly. “Okay. I can do that.”
The simple action was enough to make my heart do flips. “And, Abbie?”
She shifted her head to glance at me. “Yes, Alexi?”
“I had fun today. I’ll be tasting you on my lips until I go to sleep.” Yeah, way to be subtle.
Fuck subtle. She was going to be mine.
Chapter 19
Lex…
“Do you want to tell me why the fuck you’re butting into my business you wanker?” I asked my brother through clenched teeth as I stalked into his office.
“Hello to you too, little brother. How’s the post birthday hangover?”
“Cut the shit, Xander. You want to tell me where you get off telling girls to stay away from me?” Not that I expected a straight answer. I’d learned years ago that Xander wouldn’t tell me anything I wasn’t in the mood to. Direct questions were always the
fastest.
Xander leaned back in my chair and watched me warily between narrow slit eyes. “It’s funny, she didn’t seem like a rebel to me, but I guess she is, if you’re in here shouting at me.”
The tension and anger swirled around us sparking a mini charged electrical storm. Growing up, we’d both learned to fight. To defend ourselves to the death if need be. We’d both been taught to never feel helpless again. A fight would at the very least leave us both hurt if not worse. But I’d be damned if I was backing down. “Answer the question, Xander. Why would you tell her that?”
“The better question is, why do you care? You can have any girl you want. Like Gemma. Stop messing with my students.”
I ignored him. “It’s none of your business.”
“Hate to break it to you, mate, but it is starting to be my business. You forget my fate is tied inexorably with yours. You start making new friends, and that starts getting very ugly for the brothers Chase.”
Anger and annoyance made for a volatile cocktail. I glared at Xander. “In sixteen years, I haven’t told a bloody soul what happened that night. I’m not going to start now. I’ve been with Gemma since we were kids, and I’ve never told her. This isn’t about that night, Xander.”
He sat forward with a thunk of his chair. “I saw you Friday night, Lex. I watched you dance with her. Hell, you’re lucky I was the only one who saw you. Did you tell her about Gemma?”
The heat of shame pricked. I needed to tell her, but first I needed to see what we were first. “No need to. It was just a dance. She’s a friend, and that’s all. I’m not going to stay away from her just because you tell me to.”
Xander stood with his hands planted on his desk. “I’ve never seen you look like that. I caught the whole damn sex-dance on film, and I felt like I was intruding on a couple in love.”
Xander had it on film? It took sheer force of will not to ask to see the pictures from that night. “She’s a friend. That’s it.”
“You can’t have friends like that. You can’t have her as a friend.”
I stiffened. “What happened to grabbing my slice of happiness?”
“That was before I knew you were screwing one of my students.”
“What does it matter to you? I’m not backing off. But I would appreciate it if you’d fucking butt out of my life.”
Xander’s lips set in a firm line. His eyes, a near mirror of my own, narrowed. The air around us crackled and vibrated with hostility. Then the obvious struck me. “You want her.”
Weary dread knotted in my belly as Xander folded his arms over his chest. “I’m not an idiot. I don’t date my students.”
“That wasn’t what I asked you.”
Xander shrugged. “I recall it was more of a statement.”
I wasn’t going to play games. I loved Xander, but I also wasn’t going to give up Abbie, or worse, if she didn’t want me, let Xander have her. “Xan, I don’t want to fight you over a girl.”
“Easy, then don’t. Stop seeing her.”
Could I really walk away from her? Just a brief taste, and I was already reeling. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I care about her. She won’t say what, but something haunts her.”
Xander was silent for a minute before he responded, “You can tell from the photos she takes.”
“I can be her friend if that’s what she needs, Xander. Can you even be that?”
Chapter 20
Abbie…
Abbie tapped my foot up and down rapidly. Eventually Ilani reached over, put a hand on my knee, and mouthed. “Would you stop?”
I shrugged and whispered, “I'm sorry. I'm just nervous.”
After Alexi had left my in the labs yesterday, I’d managed to finish what I wanted, but every other thought had been consumed with him. He’d texted to apologize for running off, but other than that, he hadn’t called.
And now, I was a jumbled pile of raw nerves. What if Xander figured out who Lex had been with? Would he be pissed? He had told me to stay away from his brother after all.
And no matter what I tried, I couldn’t focus on my classmates as they prepared and talked about their photos. My mind kept drifting back to Alexi. His lips on mine, the way he’d asked permission before kissing me. The reverent way he’d touched me. I shifted in my seat.
Ilani flicked a paperclip at my head. “Honestly, Abbie. If you don't stop, I'll sever your legs. It will be a real shame watching you wheel around London trying to take photos, but I'll do it.”
“Shit. I'm sorry. I just want this whole thing over with.”
Ilani nodded in understanding. “The reason I'm so calm is I medicated with a Xanax before coming today.”
I couldn’t help a silent snort of laughter, and I whispered, “You what?”
“I know. Seems stupid now as I'm buzzing just the slightest bit. I'm praying I get through my presentation without showing the whole class my knickers.”
I shook my head and giggled. “You know, you’re just outrageous enough that I can see it happening.”
Ilani winked at me. “It's happened before.”
At that moment, Xander walked in, and the room went silent, everyone nearly sitting on the edges of their chairs, waiting to see who the first victim would be. Each of us hoping it wouldn’t be them, but simultaneously praying it would be so they could just get it over with.
Xander stood in front of the class. “Good afternoon, my intrepid photographers. Today is a great day to tell stories with our art.” He was clearly jazzed, but so far, he was the only one feeling that energy. Everyone else had that wrinkled brow, teeth-gnawing-on-lip look.
“So, have I got a volunteer?”
Nobody moved, as if terrified that even the slightest movement of a scratched nose would symbolize a desire to get flambéed by Xander first. Surreptitiously, My classmates slid glances at each other. Still, nobody dared move.
Xander jumped up and down twice, but his gaze never met My. “C'mon, gang. There has to be someone brave enough. I promise, it's not that bad. I've obviously taken a cursory look at these. Some were quite good. Others not so much. But we'll get to that. Remember, this is so you can learn.”
My foot began its tapping routine again, and next to me Ilani groaned.
I held my breath. If I went first, I could spend the rest of the class lamenting my situation instead of pretending to look at my classmates’ pieces but not really seeing them because my brain was too filled with Alexi.
My hand moved almost of its own volition as it slowly rose into the air. I cleared my throat. “I'll go first.”
Xander nodded happily. “That’s the ticket. I really would have been cross to have to select the first of you. And I don’t think anybody likes me in a cross mood.”
On wooden legs, I went to the laptop and the projector. The actual physical works were already in the student gallery hall. The university liked to open every Friday evening for exhibitions. They charged five pounds at the door. It also helped young, unknown artists get discovered.
I turned to face my classmates, and Ilani gave me an encouraging smile with a thumbs up signal. My stomach rolled. Now would be a hell of a time to throw up. I was pretty sure that would piss Xander off more than having to select someone else to go first. Then I thought of something Alexi had said. He thought I was brave. He said he didn’t know anyone who'd uprooted their life without a safety net. Maybe he was right.
I drew in a deep breath and stepped to the side with the remote. Xander hit the lights, and the image of the kids dancing in the market filled the screen. One in a lime green jumpsuit hung suspended in air, his knees bent and his arms back, his face a mask of both aggression and joy. That was, in its essence, krumping. Working out aggression and expressing emotion. I walked the class through where the photos had been taken and the scenario for the next few market shots. Then I let the photo speak for itself. I repeated the process for all twelve of the works I’d selected.
Yesterday,
Alexi had wanted far more in-depth knowledge of every single photo. He'd been sucked in by each one.
When I got to the last four photos, I bit back a secret smile. The Brixton Gold shots. “I'd selected Brixton as a destination for these gritty, urban life photos in particular because I have a small obsession with the soul music that came out of England in the sixties and seventies. It's the music I grew up on. I wanted to see music row and see some of the old studios.” When I showed the exterior of Brixton Gold, my classmates murmured appreciation. “I also got the opportunity to go inside and shoot some photos while they were recording.” I flicked to the first image of the rapper Lady Jane in the booth. Then I changed the image to one of the sound engineer as he'd been rocking out to the song. The joy was obvious in his expression.
When I was done, Xander turned the lights back on, and I headed back to my seat. He stared at me for several long moments, and I shifted under his scrutiny.
When he spoke, his voice was quiet. “Can anybody tell me what Abbie’s image made you feel?”
Immediately, people around me called out emotions like joy, energy, enthusiasm. Someone else just said, wow. I flushed. I'd never had this kind of response to my work. Hell, I’d never even shown many people my work aside from doing what it took to get offered a program like this. Xander gave me a little bow. “Miss Nartey, your work is exemplary. Even I'm impressed, and I’m not impressed by anything.”
Holy cow. Had I actually pulled this off? Was I a real life photographer? Stunned into silence, all I could do was nod and try desperately not to cry.
As soon as the attention turned from me, I breathed a sigh of relief. The first person I thought of to call was Alexi. Of course, that would have to wait until I got home.
For the rest of class, I tried desperately to pay attention to the work of my classmates, but my mind kept wandering. The only person who’s work I did make it a point to focus on was Ilani’s. She’d turned into a friend, and I would at least give her that much respect. Though Ilani’s critique had not been nearly as positive as mine, neither had it been scathing.
When she returned to her seat, she slouched and threw her head back. “Was that as awful as it felt?”