She watched him, a vague feeling sneaking up on her that something was wrong. Maybe she was just imagining things. She was tired.
“I can’t believe that it was Claire all along. That she’d been following me for the last few weeks, just waiting for a chance.” Savannah shivered at the very thought. “And then, when I went shopping with Aimee in that crowded department store, she finally saw her opportunity. Aimee didn’t think anything of it when Claire motioned her over. She thought she was taking her to see Emily.” She forced back her tears again. “Poor Emily,” she whispered. “I haven’t told Aimee about her yet. She thinks that Emily’s away on some vacation, like we went on earlier.” Savannah looked up at him. “I would never have suspected Claire,” she confessed, a trace of lingering bewilderment still evident in her voice.
He’d learned long ago to suspect everyone. That’s what made him good at investigations and lousy at relationships, he supposed.
Restless, Sam shoved his hands into his pockets. “Elliott’s being very cooperative with the police now that everything’s out in the open.” He’d checked in earlier with Underwood to make sure the detective didn’t have any further need of him after he’d given his statement. “He almost looked relieved. He only broke down when he talked about Emily drowning in their swimming pool just after Valentine’s Day.”
Savannah shivered, envisioning it. “Just like in Eliza’s vision,” she murmured, realization dawning.
Eliza’s vision had been of a little blond girl drowning. Emily had been blond. From a distance, Emily and Aimee had looked very much alike. Savannah closed her eyes for a moment.
There but for the grace of God...
Watching her, Sam was tempted to put his arms around Savannah. Control made him remain where he was. Touching her would only make this harder.
“Right vision, wrong kid,” Sam agreed. “And it was a pool, not a lake.” He shrugged. Maybe there was something to this psychic business after all. But that was unimportant. The only thing that mattered was that Aimee had been found.
Funny, he thought, how some people crumpled under adversity, while others shone. Elliott had crumpled. Calling in favors, Sam had been allowed to attend the police interview. Sam shared the details with Savannah; he knew that she’d want to hear..
“Elliott said that Claire was supposed to be watching Emily, but she went inside to get something to drink and when she came out again, Emily had fallen into the pool. According to Elliott, Claire couldn’t live with the guilt, and her mind snapped He didn’t say anything to anyone because he was too overcome himself. He had a hard time living with it.”
“Poor Elliott.” Now that it was all over, she couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. For both of them, really. She looked up at Sam. “What’s going to happen to them?”
“Claire’s probably going to a mental institution, at least for a while.” That much, he knew, was a safe bet. “As for Elliott, that depends on the judge and jury, I guess.”
She paused for a moment, looking down at her hands. “He’ll need character witnesses.”
The depth of her charity amazed him. “You’d do that?” Another woman would have wanted to see the kidnappers drawn and quartered.
Slowly, she nodded. “I can’t forgive Elliott for what he put me through—but I can understand his desperation. His child, whom he adored, died. And his wife, whom he worshipped, went off the deep end. The man was trying to hold together the fragments of his life.”
Sam shook his head. He thought he knew Savannah, but she continued to be a revelation. “You’re something else, you know that?”
She shrugged off the compliment. She hadn’t shared her feelings with Sam so that he would think she was doing something special. “I can’t judge until I’ve been there.”
Who had more of a right to judge? “You have, actually—in a way,” he pointed out. “Someone took Aimee. You didn’t react by stealing other people’s children.”
It was far more complex than that. “I was lucky. I had someone to help me.”
She looked at him meaningfully. She’d been fortunate to have him come into her life just when she needed someone like him. Very fortunate.
Sam reminded himself that he was just someone who had helped her. He had to remember that and keep things in perspective. Whatever she felt for him was born of that sentiment. That gratitude. And as gratitude faded to find its proper place in her life, so would the feelings she thought she had for him.
Until they faded away, too.
He wanted to leave before he saw that light fade from her eyes. The light that now seemed to burn only for him. Sam didn’t think he could bear watching it leave.
It was over and he knew it.
He’d done the job he was hired to do. All that remained was to tie up a few miscellaneous loose ends, and say goodbye.
All.
He hadn’t realized, when she walked into his office an eternity ago, how hard this was gomg to be. But then, he hadn’t known that she would awaken within him the man he could be. The man he had felt he had surrendered the right to be. Normal. Loving. In love.
Hell, he thought, struggling to keep his composure, this was going to be downright painful. Worse than the time he’d taken a bullet to the shoulder. At least you knew you’d heal from that.
He wasn’t altogether sure about healing from this.
He looked toward the door. It was time. If he didn’t go now, he didn’t think he could go at all.
Savannah saw him make a move toward the front door. The reporters were finally gone. Aimee was asleep. They were alone. Why wasn’t he holding her?
She rose to her feet. “You’re leaving?”
“Yes.”
She didn’t like the way the word sounded. So final. A nervousness began to creep through her.
“But you’ll be back.” She waited for his assurance. Maybe there was something he had to see to, something that took him away from her now, but not for long.
A self-deprecating smile curved his mouth. “If the check to the agency bounces.”
The flip remark was one she wasn’t prepared for. Rising, Savannah looked at him incredulously as she crossed to him
“And that’s the only reason?”
He tried very hard to divorce himself from the words, from the feelings. He couldn’t even achieve a worthy separation. “Savannah, my job was to find Aimee. I found Aimee. The job’s over.”
Something inside her, so newly rebuilt, was crumbling. “Is everything over?” Her voice was low, emotionless.
As gently as he could, he tried to make her understand. “There was no ‘everything.’ We were caught up in something, in the moment.” And I was caught up in the look in your eyes, in that half smile of yours. He saw her eyes go flat. It was already beginning. “The moment’s gone.”
It cost her to bare her soul to him, but if that was the price to keep what they had, then she would pay it. “Maybe you were caught up in the moment, but I—”
He wouldn’t let her say it, only to regret it later. He couldn’t do that to her. “It’s over, Savannah.”
“Over?” she echoed, stunned, angry. “What’s over? The way I feel isn’t over. The kind of man you are isn’t over. Don’t drive wedges between us because you have some misconception about the kind of work you do separating you from a normal life. That’s just an excuse. You’re the one who counts, not your life-style. You’re a good man, Sam, with a good heart and a lot to offer—”
He cut her off. “What you felt was gratitude. Don’t mistake it for something more.”
Gratitude. And he’d taken pity on her and let her “show” her gratitude by allowing her to make love with him. Well, he could just take it all and shove it!
“I see.” She struggled to hold on to her temper. Her tears. “Well, I won’t embarrass you any further.” Walking over to her purse on the coffee table, she opened it and pulled out her checkbook. The sound of the pen clicking to expose a point seemed to echo in the silent room.
“Do I make this out to you or the agency?”
“The agency.” This was too hard, he thought. Too hard. “Savannah, if you need anything—”
She signed her name. “No, thank you. I’ll manage just fine from here. I did before. No need to spread any more gratitude around.” Savannah tore off the check and held it out to him. “This is the sum that was agreed on, wasn’t it?”
Sam didn’t bother looking at it. The expression on her face twisted him into knots.
“Savannah, I—”
But he had shut her out, and now it was her turn to do the same. She took a few steps back.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’m very tired right now.”
“Sure.” It was better this way. No painful small talk, just take the check and go. He pocketed the piece of paper. “Sure thing.”
Sam let himself out.
It occurred to him, as he walked to his car, that they hadn’t said goodbye.
Megan Andreini looked up from her computer when she saw Sam pass by her door. She’d been out of the office for almost a week, working on a case, and had read all about Aimee King’s reunion with her mother. It made her proud.
“Way to go, Sam!” she called out.
“Thanks.”
Megan left her computer downloading a program, and walked into Sam’s office. The look on his face was enough to send thunderclouds into hiding.
“You certainly don’t look like a man who’s just kept our good name and reputation alive,” she commented.
Sam had come into the office because he’d run out of “vacation” time to take, and because he couldn’t seem to find a place for himself in his own world anymore. Sam had tried to get on with his life. But everywhere he went, every step he took, she was there. In his mind. Haunting him like a perpetual beat that refused to fade away no matter what other sounds surrounded it or tried to drown it out.
She was the first thing he thought about in the morning, when he woke up and his mind was unguarded. She was the last thing he thought about at night, when he finally faded into an exhausted sleep.
She wouldn’t let him alone.
Maybe work would make him feel human again. “I’ve got a lot on my mind, all right?”
Megan pretended to back away. “The thud you just heard was the head you just bit off falling on the floor. Your mind, huh?” She peered at his face. She’d never seen him look so dark before. “Sure that’s the right body part?”
He didn’t care to be probed. “You’re beginning to sound more like a guy every day.” Sam dropped the papers he was going through. What the hell was he looking for, anyway? He couldn’t remember.
Megan grinned. “I take it you don’t mean that in a good way.” Growing serious, she got into his face. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
He wasn’t about to bare his soul to anyone. This would pass. He would just have to wait it out. If he lived that long.
“Nothing Back off.” He turned his back on her.
“All right, I will,” she agreed. “At least until I can get a whip and a chair issued to protect myself.” She shook her head. “Your mood is foul, Sammy. Careful or I’ll tell Momma on you.”
He raised his eyes to look at her. “Megan?”
“Yeah?” The question was innocently tendered.
“Go soak your head.”
She nodded, pretending to accept his words of wisdom. “And my advice to you is, go see her.”
The look in his eyes was positively dangerous. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
With a sigh, Megan gave up. For now.
After two weeks of listening to growled answers and bitten-off sentences, Cade decided to take the matter into his own hands.
He walked into Sam’s office and closed the door
“You know, Sam, we’re not zoned for bear. Especially not wounded bear. So we might have to drop you from the agency.”
Sam looked at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You.” Cade came around his side of the desk. “Since you solved the Aimee King kidnapping, you’ve been hanging around here, contributing minimally and acting like a damn wounded bear. Now, are you going to go and see the woman? Or do I have to take you there myself and put the words into your mouth?”
Sam laughed shortly. “I’d like to see that—being that most of the time you’re as animated and articulate as a tree.”
Cade wasn’t going to allow him to sidestep the issue. “We’re talking about you, not me. And the future sanity of the people who work alongside of you,” he added. Cade paused, waiting. Sam remained seated. “Get out of the office, Sam. I can’t make it any plainer than that.”
Muttering something under his breath, Sam rose to his feet and left.
It amazed Savannah that she could feel so happy and so unhappy at the same time. She treated each day with Aimee as if she’d been given a precious gift—a gift she knew she would never again take for granted.
But within each day there was an emptiness that was entirely new to her, an emptiness she didn’t know how to fill. An emptiness that had Sam Walters written across it.
She would never have expected that she could become so attached m such an incredibly short amount of time. That she could miss someone so much. After all, what did she know about the man?
Enough to know she loved him.
You’d think, she scolded herself—depositing the final load of groceries from her car onto the kitchen counter—that she would have learned by now that men and she just didn’t mix. Not on a permanent basis, at any rate.
But all lectures to the contrary, finding her way from one end of the day to the other was hell. If she hadn’t had Aimee in her life, Savannah knew she would never have survived.
Dwelling on it wouldn’t help. She had ice cream that was melting. Her parents were due to bring Aimee back in an hour, and she wanted to get things in order by then. Since Aimee’s return, her parents had behaved like completely different people. Warm, loving. Classic grandparents.
It seemed there was hope for everything, she thought as she opened the refrigerator.
Or almost everything.
The doorbell rang. Savannah wondered if it was another reporter. After three weeks, for the most part, they had stopped calling, but that didn’t mean she was in the clear yet.
The doorbell rang again. Maybe her parents were returning early. Putting the ice cream away, she hurried to the door, mentally bracing herself just in case it was a reporter.
But when she opened it, she was completely unprepared to find Sam standing there. Her heart leaped into her throat and refused to dislodge.
“Hi,” he said stiffly. God, what was he going to say to her? How the hell was he going to bridge the gap he’d created with his own stupidity?
“Hi,” she echoed back.
She wanted to hug him.
She wanted to beat on him until he was black and blue for putting her through hell.
Most of all, she wanted to touch him, to assure herself that he was real. It took a great deal of effort to keep her hands still.
She wasn’t moving, he noted, wasn’t opening the door any farther. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Still, he was here. He couldn’t turn back. This was his only chance to make things right.
“Can I come in?”
Savannah hesitated a moment before finally stepping back. “Sure.”
He looked just as good as ever; damn him. Maybe a little thinner. The way he ate, she would have thought that an impossibility.
She went back to unpacking her grocery bags.
“Something wrong with the check?” she asked sardonically.
Sam looked around, wondering where Aimee was. “What? Oh, no. It’s fine,” he said absently. He watched Savannah place cartons of milk in the refrigerator door. It looked like things were back to normal for her. Too bad he couldn’t say the same for himself. “I just came by to see how you were doing.”
She lifted a shoulder, let it drop, stalling
to compose herself.
“Fine.” She turned away as she stacked things in the pantry. “Finding our place in life again slowly. Aimee seems to have no negative effects at all. Elliott made sure she wasn’t afraid, wasn’t harmed. He kept telling her it was a game, and she seems to have believed him, thank God.”
Savannah tossed bags of vegetables into the crisper without looking. It was an attempt to keep moving, keep busy, when what she really wanted to do was scream at him...
And throw her arms around his neck.
“I’ve gone to see him in prison. He’s really very sorry...” She didn’t want to talk about Elliott, not with Sam standing so close. “So, how are you doing?”
“Me?” His mouth curved a little, but his eyes weren’t smiling. “I’m doing lousy.”
“Oh.” Savannah turned around. She hadn’t expected him to say something like that. She didn’t know what to feel. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
The formality stuck in her throat, but she had no other options open to her. Not Without breaching any of the hastily reconstructed walls she’d thrown up for herself. Acting uninterested, she went back to redistributing her groceries.
“Any particular reason?”
“Yeah. There’s a particular reason, all right.” Sam got in between Savannah and the counter, forcing her to stop unpacking and really look at him. “Seems everyone knows it but me. Cade threatened to throw me out of the agency because the building’s not zoned for bears.”
She stared, uncomprehending. “Bears?”
“Yeah. Bears,” he repeated. “According to Cade and Megan, I’ve been behaving like a wounded one.”
She tossed her head, sending her hair flying over her shoulder.
“Gee, I thought the only animal you imitated was an ass.” She couldn’t help the smile that crept out.
He grinned then, feeling a little better. A little hopeful. “I seem to be widening my repertoire.”
She stopped pretending to pay only marginal attention and looked up at him. She grew serious again. “And what is it you want from me, Sam?”
A Hero for All Seasons Page 18