Sinful (Desired Affliction Book 4)

by C. A. Harms

  “You’re Brock Nelson, right?” she asked. I nodded, thinking that it couldn’t be good that she knew my name.

  My full name.

  “My friends and I have a bet going,” she continued. “They dared me to come over here and ask you about the time you got caught with that girl in the locker room.” My stomach dropped. “And to ask if you’d be interested in topping that with the three of us.”

  Was this girl for real?

  I laughed because fuck, I felt like I was being punked, and with the events that had been taking place lately, this just added to the crazy.

  “Is that an ‘I’m down for whatever you girls have in mind’ laugh?” she asked in a hopeful voice.

  I lifted my head and looked directly at her.

  “No, actually that is an ‘I’m unavailable and in no way am I interested’ kind of laugh,” I told her, and she puckered her lips as if she was pouting.

  “That’s too bad,” she said with a wink before turning around and walking back to her waiting friends.

  I laughed it off, shaking my head, and when I turned back around, there stood Charlie, looking at me with an expression on her face that I didn’t quite know what it meant.

  I started to stand, and she readjusted her back and walked toward the front doors of the gym. Just as I was passing the weight room, a rush of college athletes came out, cutting off my path. This of course allowed Charlie to gain further distance.

  I felt like all the odds were against me lately, and at every fucking turn, I hit another brick wall.

  I exited the building, looking left and right before spotting her walking toward her car.

  “Charlie, wait,” I shouted as I jogged toward her. “Hey,” I hollered once again, knowing full well that she heard me but was ignoring me hoping she could get away.

  That wasn’t happening. This shit was coming to an end.

  I reached out, touching her shoulder just as I stepped up behind her. “Where are you going?” I asked, trying to ease into this interaction between us.

  It had been almost a week since I last touched her, and it had not been an easy task. Like now, I just wanted to grab her and pull her close, telling her all the crazy thoughts in her head about not being enough needed to go.

  “I’m done for the day,” she told me, yet didn’t turn to face me.

  “Can we talk?” I asked, fully prepared for her rejection, but instead she turned around to face me.

  And my heart felt like it split in two.

  “Okay,” she whispered, her lower lip trembling.

  “Baby,” I said as I forgot my earlier reservation and wrapped her in my arms, holding her close. “We’ve really made a mess of things over the last week, haven’t we?”

  “I’m sorry,” she said with a shaky voice. “I was upset and cranky. I took my insecurities and brought them to you as if you’d done something wrong. But the truth is you didn’t do anything wrong.”

  I let her ramble because it felt like she needed this.

  “I never meant to hurt you. And when you came to my place last night and told me that I made you feel dirty…” She took in a shuddering breath. “I felt like you took a piece of my heart with you when you walked away. Even Roxy and Romeo cried from that one.”

  When I realized she was done, I leaned back just enough that I could look down at her when I spoke. I wanted to see her eyes when I told her how I felt.

  “You are enough,” I told her, and her eyes widened just a bit. I knew then she understood I knew what her fears were. “You’re more than enough, Charlie. I’ve never in my life loved a girl outside the ones in my family. But you, sweetheart, are impossible not to love. You knocked me on my ass that first day I met you with all your sass and confidence. And from that moment, I had no hope of ever getting my heart back. It’s been yours ever since.”

  A tear fell from her eye and slowly trailed along her cheek. I caught it with my thumb and forced her to look up at me.

  “I love you, baby,” I told her. “I don’t miss those days before you. I wasn’t who I want to be, but with you, I’m exactly the man I was meant to be. You bring out the best in me. You don’t take my shit, and sweetheart, you don’t give me any slack.”

  I kissed her because frankly it had just been entirely too long. And she accepted it fully.

  “It’s you who inspired me,” I told her.

  She looked up at me with a curious expression. “Inspired you, how?”

  I’d been dying since I got back to town to share my news, but I refused to tell anyone until I told Charlie first. Yes, I was dragging my feet with the whole making up thing, but I was hopeful that we’d get there.

  Now I was done stalling.

  “I’m opening my own store,” I told her, and she tilted her head to the side.

  “It was part of the reason why I went back home.” I still held her close to me. I had to feel her.

  “My dad is gonna help me get started. He has so many contacts that he’s confident he’ll be able to get me work, enough to build a name for myself.” I smiled at Charlie as she looked up at me in amazement. “It’s because of you, sweetheart.” I wanted her to know the impact she’d had on my life.

  “But I didn’t do anything,” she protested.

  “You’re wrong, baby. You’ve done so much.” I kissed her again, this time taking a little more time to soak in the feel of her lips. “You woke me up to my possibilities. I want to be more, for you.”

  She still seemed unsure, but I’d just have to keep showing her that everything I said was true. I loved Charlie, and had it not been for her confidence in me, her ability to love me even throughout all my pigheaded moments, I didn’t know if I’d have been ready for this step.

  But now here I stood, and I had the dedication to be more.

  I had the drive to succeed.

  “You’re my girl, Charlie, and I adore you,” I told her, and she closed her eyes as if to let my words sink in. “I have no intentions of letting you go.”

  “Please don’t,” she whispered, and I smiled.

  “Never,” I assured her.

  “Even when I look like this?” She opened her eyes and pointed toward her face. Her gorgeous green eyes were reddened and swollen, her lips puffy.

  “You’re beautiful,” I whispered.

  “No.” She shook her head. “I’m a mess. And when I cry, it makes me look awful.”

  I placed my finger beneath her chin, tilting it upward. “Even when you cry, you’re beautiful.”

  She smiled at me.

  I’m not saying she believed it to be true in her own eyes, but I think in that moment she understood that it was what I felt.

  “Please don’t ever let me go,” she said. The emotions of the last ten minutes took over as her eyes once again became glossy.

  “Never,” I said in return. “Even if you run, I’ll catch you.”

  “Promise?” she asked.

  “Cross my heart,” I replied, and she tucked her face against my neck, and we remained there in the center of the parking lot, uncaring who was around us.

  We needed this.

  I needed this.

  Chapter

  Thirty-Three

  Charlotte

  “Are you ready for this?” Brock asked from my side.

  My hands shook, my stomach tensed, and I felt like at any moment I might be sick.

  “Yes,” I replied reluctantly.

  Being the guy Brock had become, he stepped in front of me, blocking out the view of the Appeals Room. The room just behind those steel doors held one of the men who had changed my life for the worse.

  “Baby, listen to me,” he said, regaining my attention.

  I took in a deep breath and looked directly into Brock’s eyes, almost begging for the strength I needed to get through this day.

  “You’re going to go in there and tell each one of those people why this sick bastard doesn’t deserve his freedom.” Brock was so intense at that moment. “You’re goin
g look that sick son of a bitch in the eyes and tell him he deserves nothing more than the hell he is living in, and even that is too good for him. You’re strong, Charlie. I’ve never in my life met anyone stronger.”

  I tried to feel what he was saying. I wanted to have that kind of confidence in myself. But I was here alone to face this man who had left my father so saddened by the reoccurring heartache this had all brought back that he was unable to attend the hearing.

  “Your dad is grieving,” Brock said as if he’d read my thoughts. “He didn’t do that all those years ago. And that was his choice, because he knew you needed him, baby, and that’s okay. But now it’s his time. Which means it’s up to you to go in there and make sure they know how much this man should suffer.”

  “You’re right,” I told him.

  This was up to me, because I was the only one who could hopefully make them understand just what kind of monster Wallace Reider was.

  The moment I was led into the Appeals Room, my heart began to rapidly beat, making it hard to breathe. Or at least that was the effect it felt like it was having on me.

  Brock was allowed to enter, only he had to remain toward the back of the room as I was led forward.

  I saw a young girl sitting near her mother, and she appeared to be maybe the age I was when this horrific event took place. I found myself wondering if it was Wallace’s family.

  And suddenly I found myself feeling compassionate toward them. This entire thing must have been so hard on them. It still must be hard. But I couldn’t go there, I reminded myself.

  I had a purpose for today, and that was to keep one of the men responsible for the death of two people I loved very much behind bars.

  I moved forward, feeling as if all eyes were on me, as I’m sure they were, only I was scared to look around.

  I tried not to look at him.

  I was fearful of what one glance would do.

  Would it make me forget my purpose for today, or would it enhance that anger inside me and drive me to seek the only revenge I could gain?

  But then I remembered what Brock told me only moments before.

  I couldn’t let him see my fear.

  I wanted this man to know that he could not break me.

  So I scanned the room, and immediately my eyes locked on his.

  He still looked the same, only older. The hair on his head had begun to grey along with the facial hair he had. But it was the same man with the same callous grin that he wore the day he stood back and watched two others drain the life from my loved ones.

  He wasn’t remorseful; he was evil.

  The moment my name was announced, I turned back toward the long table before me and fisted my hands at my sides.

  “Yes, I’m Charlotte Murphy,” I verified.

  “You’ve been asked to attend today’s hearing on behalf of the victims, both Corrine Murphy and Elizabeth Murphy.”

  My throat grew tight at the mention of my mother and sister, and a rage rushed through me as I thought of the man just a few feet away. He deserved the same type of horrific death he and the others instilled on my family.

  No.

  They all deserved worse.

  My anger threatened to consume me, but I fought against it.

  I had to do this. Corrine and my mother deserved it.

  I had to do this for my father and for me.

  “Have you prepared a statement, Ms. Murphy?” the older woman behind the table asked. Her eyes were kind, and somehow I used her as means to remain in control. I pretended as if she was the counselor I had seen all those years ago, and I just began to talk.

  “Yes, I have,” I told her, and she nodded her head telling me to proceed.

  “I was only sixteen when I lost two very important people in my life. And today I’m here to speak for both of them. I’m here because Wallace Reider would like all of you to believe that he is a changed man. He’d like you to believe that he is remorseful for taking a part in the death of two innocent women.”

  I scanned over the group sitting beyond the table before me, each one watching me closely.

  “Mr. Reider may not have single-handedly killed them. He may not have been the one who made sure the life was drained from my mother and sister, but I can assure you Wallace Reider enjoyed every second of that night.”

  I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as the memories of that night came flooding back to me.

  “You weren’t there,” I began again.

  “You didn’t see the look in his eyes, the pure adrenaline he felt as it unfolded, but I did.” I took another calming breath.

  “That man.” I pointed in his direction without taking my eyes off of the people who were all still watching me. “He felt excitement from the events taking place in front of him. He is a soulless man who didn’t even attempt to stop it, even though he had every opportunity to do so.”

  I took a chance and looked in his direction.

  “Instead, he watched with a look of pure enjoyment while those other men killed two of the most important people in my life. He smiled and laughed as they drained the life from two helpless women.”

  I turned back to face the panel.

  “So you all may believe he was a victim caught up in events he was unaware of, but I can assure you Wallace was no victim. He is a sick man, an evil creature with no knowledge of right or wrong. He is a dangerous man. And if he’s released and allowed to walk the streets, will each one of you feel comfortable with that? Do you think your family is safe, your daughters and wives?”

  I waited for any reaction, but they all remained stone-faced, staring at me.

  “They’re not safe,” I told them.

  “No one who comes into contact with that man is safe, and it could be someone you know next.”

  Maybe they needed a vision. Something that hit close to home.

  “Just imagine for a moment being forced to watch as the life of someone you love is slowly drained from them. Imagine seeing a loved one take their last breath, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to help them. Imagine it to be your daughter or wife, even your mother.”

  I paused, allowing what I said to sink in. Hoping that somewhere inside these people before me was a voice screaming out telling them this was a mistake.

  “Would you want anyone responsible for killing someone you love to be allowed to walk the streets?” The woman in the center broke eye contact for a moment, and it gave me hope that I may be getting to her. Maybe she was seeing it through my eyes.

  I hoped like hell and with everything inside me that was the case.

  “If you give him another chance, another shot at redemption, just remember one thing.” I paused for a moment, taking a calming breath before I continued. “My mother, the woman who raised me and loved me unconditionally, a woman who loved life, loved her daughters and husband with everything inside of her, wasn’t given a second chance.” I scanned over those who were all still staring back at me.

  “My sister.” I felt the burning sensation in my throat, but I pushed through it. “So beautiful and full of life. A girl who wanted to spend her life helping children less fortunate. Dreams of opening a home that would give children a place to feel the love they didn’t get the chance to feel at home. Corrine was a young woman with dreams and ambitions, yet she was not given a second chance.”

  Once again I pointed toward Wallace. “But this man,” I said as I wrinkled my face in disgust, “a man who in my opinion still seems as if he has absolutely no remorse for that day, does not deserve a second chance. Whether he killed them or not, he knew what they were doing that day. He laughed and smiled, egging on the other two and now he wants a second chance.”

  I looked back at him once again, not caring that his eyes were narrowed and aimed in my direction. I didn’t fear him. “He deserves nothing more than to rot beyond the walls of this prison, suffering every day for taking the life of two woman who had so much more to give.”

  I didn’t look away fr
om him. My chest rose and fell, and I wanted nothing more than to make him feel the hate I had rolling around inside me for him.

  “Do you have anything more to add, Ms. Murphy?” the woman behind the table asked, and I turned back to face them, redirecting my attention.

  I nodded.

  “I don’t believe in redemption, not when it comes to Wallace Reider or any other person who takes the life of another,” I stated without fault.

  “He is heartless, a human form of pure evil, and should you all decide that the things I’ve said today amount to nothing, then I’d have to think that you all are heartless as well.”

  I felt pride for my words, not regretting a single one.

  I liked to think that both Corrine and my mother were both looking down, also proud of the way I handled today.

  When I was excused and turned to walk toward Brock, I could see the pride in his eyes.

  He waited for me to pass and placed his hand against my lower back as he guided me from the room. And within seconds of the door behind us closing, I spun around and wrapped my arms around his neck. Burying my face in his chest, I began to cry, uncontrollably.

  The adrenaline from the last twenty minutes finally fell away, leaving me feeling so raw and heartbroken.

  “You were amazing, baby,” he assured me as he rocked me slowly. “You did so great.”

  “Did you see the look on his face?” I sobbed. “He was so smug. He is an awful person, Brock, and they can’t let him free. It’s not fair; none of this is. He lived, and they died.” I held onto him tighter. “Where is the fairness in that?”

  “There is none,” he told me. “None at all, Charlie.”

  Chapter

  Thirty-Four

  Brock

  Denied.

  Most people dreaded the word.

  In fact to most men, it was torture. But today it was a word of peace.

  “Wallace Reider, your request for parole has hereby been denied. You will serve your remaining sentence for the crimes for which you were convicted.”