“Ah, right.” Max backed away from me. He leaned against the island, putting his hands behind him, gripping the countertop.
With his sleeves rolled up, three buttons undone, his hair messy, he looked good. I mean, for a man twenty years older than me. I was sure that other women my age thought he was sexy.
For a couple of seconds, however, I eyed him down and up, mentally picturing Trev standing next to him. Thinking of how much bigger Trev would be compared to Max.
“It’s a hard situation,” Max said. “Tough to accept and appreciate.”
“I’m just annoyed they keep having the parties,” I said. “You know?”
“Well, the heart and mind grieves in a way…”
I know that, Professor. Please don’t preach that garbage to me.
“What’s really got you upset about it?” he asked.
He tilted his head to the side and grinned.
“I don’t know,” I lied. My original attraction to Max had been his age and his maturity. A chance to talk to someone who wasn’t solely interested in figuring how much you could drink without needing your stomach pumped. But standing there, watching him stare at me, I thought of something stupid to say. “It just makes everyone sad. Like, we’re supposed to be here to have fun and figure out our lives.”
“Ah, yes, the amazing twists and turns life throws at us, huh? I’m sure you’ll figure it out, Serafina. You’re smart. Passionate. You have a beautiful heart. It’s refreshing to see. I hope you know that. However, I believe that you must understand that everyone is responsible for their own actions. That doesn’t discount the tragedy in the situation, but what it could actually do is serve as a reminder to everyone of how real life is. This is nothing but a transition period for everyone. Including you.”
“And how do you fit into this transition?” I asked.
Max laughed. He scratched at the scruff on his face. “Sometimes I wonder about you.”
“How so?”
“Where you truly came from. What you’re actually doing here.”
“You know why I’m here,” I said.
A feeble attempt at flirting and it made me uneasy. This wasn’t like Max and I to talk about anything that resembled personal life.
He inched from the kitchen island and gently cupped my face.
“But what I do know is everything I’ve said,” he whispered. “There’s no need to waste the rest of our night on the mistake of another. Is there?”
“No,” I whispered.
I shut my eyes as Max kissed me.
Amazing how just hours ago, I was in his office helping him read through papers to pick out the good ones and the crap ones. Now his hands were…
… it was a good way to forget about the night - including Trev.
* * *
I sat up in the large bed and looked at the bathroom door. It was open just a crack, enough to let some light bleed out. I played with soft sheet and waited for Max to emerge. When he did, he stood there with a towel thrown over his shoulder, wearing black, silk boxers. He was tall, skinny, with a natural tone to his body. Nothing like what I had seen somewhere else…
“Hey, what are you doing?” he asked.
“I, uh, I don’t know. Would it be the worst thing ever if I spent the night?”
This was, for sure, crossing the line. Not that there were any set rules to this thing. It had just been something that slowly built up until it got to this point. Asking to sleep over was implying something more than what we had just done. I just didn’t want to go back home and be alone. The walk down the stairs, the sneaking out to my car. Driving home, alone, not really sure how it all made me feel. In some odd way, any attempt at pleasure had been gone for a while now. It was merely comfort and routine.
“Serafina,” Max said. “I’m not sure of the appropriate answer here. I thought we had a well determined situation here together.”
“I know,” I said. “I was just…”
“If we change anything now, it will change everything,” Max said. “I’m sorry you’re upset about Heath. But in life you’re going to find many of these situations. Perhaps some alone time, reflecting on your personal feelings will help you through this.”
“In other words, get the hell out of your bed and your house,” I said.
“I never said that, Serafina.”
“Right,” I said.
Max smiled and blew me a kiss.
I heard the bathroom door shut and lock.
That was my cue.
I mean, I could have stayed and waited to see what Max would have done if I was still in his bed when he got out of the shower. But it wasn’t worth the effort. I really didn’t want to be there anyway.
In all honesty, I didn’t know where I wanted to be at all. I could have gone back to the party and signed that stupid banner to get in. Or by now, everyone would be so drunk that the banner didn’t matter. Ten bucks someone had already drawn dicks on it, making it worthless.
I left Max’s house and kept my head down as I walked to my car. I swore I felt people standing in their windows, watching me. Knowing who I was. Knowing who Max was. Knowing that he was my professor. Not that there was anything wrong with what we were doing… other than the feelings inside me. And because of the reason why I let it all happen. Comfort. Confusion. Wanting my best friend to come and tell me how stupid I was…
I wiped away a stray tear that I never saw coming and I drove away from Max’s house.
I made it two blocks before hitting a pothole. The second I did so, two lights flashed on my dashboard and I swore my car started to run slower and sluggish.
“Fucking great,” I growled and slapped the steering wheel.
What a stupid night.
I was going home to be alone. And now I was going to have to get my car looked at.
That’s when one person popped into my mind… again…
* * *
Dear YOU,
They told me I needed to go without you. That you would have wanted it this way. I don’t care what anyone says. I want to hear you say it to me. We did this together. We sat there and applied to the same colleges together. I know you got into a better college than me. And you refused to go. I know your mom got really pissed off about that too. I was going to talk you out of it. I mean, distance between us would have been terrible. Honestly. But look at the distance now. I’m such a mess without you around. I don’t even know what to say or do half the time anymore. It’s like I take two steps forward and I’m suddenly a mile ahead. Does that make any sense? I mean, I don’t even remember the last few years of my life. The years when everything was supposed to be free and fun. It was supposed to be us just living life. With no rules. And no cares in the world. That’s why you didn’t accept that other offer. And if only I was smarter, like you, I could have gotten into that school too. Then we could have been together at a really good college with smart boys all over us, trying to figure out what we liked and didn’t like in life.
I remember applying to all those colleges together. I knew every single one of them would want you. I bet there were more acceptance letters than you told me about. Lying always bothered me, but I knew you would sometimes lie to me because you needed to. But I always knew when you were lying.
We took a picture with our acceptance letters. Everything was in place. It was all there for us. Skate through our senior of high school. Knowing we’d never have to deal with dumb boys again. We were going to be adults and we were going to do whatever we wanted for the rest of our lives.
It was a Thursday when you didn’t come to school. I remember. Thursday was always like a Friday. Because on Friday we did nothing in school. That was the best part of being a senior. Right? The smart kids already had their colleges locked up and were thinking about the next year. The bad kids were pushed through just to get them out of there for graduation.
I sat there on Thursday and looked at your desk. You never texted me. You never called either. You didn’t tell me you wer
e sick. Which meant that you didn’t know you were sick until it was too late.
I couldn’t stop staring at your desk.
I couldn’t wait to get to lunch so I could ditch school to check on you.
But you weren’t home.
You were already at the hospital…
I’m sorry, I can’t write anymore right now.
Love,
Serafina
Chapter 7
Trev
“Want some roast?” I asked and handed Tommy the container from Mom’s last night.
“Hell yeah,” he said in his rough, hungover voice. The silver scruff on his face looked like cactus needles and his hair was slicked back from natural grease of not showering for weeks on end. “I’m going to heat this up right now.”
I walked through the first open garage bay and looked out to the gravel lot. There were four vehicles waiting for service and a line of five vehicles waiting to get picked up.
I felt an elbow slam into my shoulder. “Morning, asshole.”
I stepped forward and looked back to see Nick standing there with a giant cup of coffee and a cigarette between his lips.
“You look like hell,” I said.
“When you live like me, man, you live in hell.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know,” he said as the cigarette bounced between his lips. He took it from his mouth. “Hey, I never asked you… did you go over and crash that party for your brother?”
“Nah,” I said. “I stopped by. Got kicked out.”
“Nice,” Nick said. “I miss those days.”
“Those days?” I asked. “You’re a year older than me.”
“That’s right. I’m your elder. So kiss my ass and lick my balls.”
“Anyone who goes near your balls will need the doctor afterwards.”
“Funny,” he said. “Ah, man, that college shit was not for me.”
“You went to college?”
“Not like to classes or anything,” he said. “I would just show up and party my fucking brains out.”
“Now you work here with me.”
“It’s a job. I don’t mind.”
“Yeah, neither do I,” I said.
I looked forward again and let out a long breath.
A few seconds later, a car turned off the road and into the gravel lot. The crunch of the tires on the rocks was the soundtrack to my day, all day long.
The car pulled up far too close to the door to the office.
Nick and I stood there, watching.
“What the fuck is this guy doing?” Nick asked. “Driving into the office or what?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
I looked through the passenger window and realized it wasn’t a guy.
It was a woman.
She climbed out of the car and looked right at me.
“Oh, damn,” Nick said. “I’ll go and help her out.”
I threw my hand out and almost knocked the coffee out of Nick’s hand.
“I got this… I know her…”
* * *
Sera shut the door and gave a weak wave.
“Did you come to get the rest of your cookie?” I asked. “If so, I already ate it.”
“Cookie…? Oh, right. Yeah.”
I felt like an idiot.
She didn’t remember what happened. Why would she? She had been too busy waiting for her mystery text and then took off the second it came.
Everything is wrong with me.
That line still stuck with me though, for some reason.
I put my hand to the hood of her car. “What’s wrong here?”
“I, uh, hit a pothole and some lights came on. The car’s been running weird since. I don’t have much money though. I was going to just ignore it, but then I remembered that you work on cars.”
“So you tracked me down and want me to fix your car for free?”
Sera bit her lip. She shrugged her shoulders. “I didn’t say free…”
I nodded. “How’d your night end up?”
“What?”
“Your night. You bailed on that party and then got some text message and bolted.”
“Oh. Right. Um… it was fine.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Okay. Cool. Did you leave the keys in the car?”
“Yeah. Do you need them?”
“Leave them.”
“Okay. I’ve called for a ride. Um, if you could just call me when you figure out what’s going on. Give me a price and-”
“What’s your number?” I asked. I took out my phone and waited.
“What…”
“You said to call you,” I said. “So…?”
“Right.”
She rattled off her number and I put it into my phone. I walked toward her, realizing that she was wearing the same jeans as the first night I met her. She had a long sleeved shirt on now, black, fitting her perfectly, flirting with curves that were a little dangerous to me.
I opened the door to the car and put the window down. I got inside and started it.
“You’ll call me?” Sera asked.
“No,” I said.
“What?”
“I’m going to pull it in right now and have a look. Cancel your ride.”
“Wait. Trev. You said…”
“I said what?”
“You asked for my number.”
“Yeah,” I said. “And you gave it to me.”
I saw the color of her face.
It was probably the cheapest way to get her number, but whatever, I now had it.
“There’s some coffee in the office. It’s not good at all. There are crappy magazines from two years ago, all cars and trucks and that stuff. I’ll talk to you in a bit.”
I pulled the car into the last garage bay. Nick stood there, grinning.
“What?” I asked as I climbed out of Sera’s car.
“Nothing.”
“What?” I asked again.
“You were supposed to start with that minivan out there.”
“That can wait,” I said. “She said they weren’t going to be home for a few days anyway.”
“Right,” he said.
“What? This is an easy one. Couple of lights came on. I’m going to hook it up and see what it’s doing.”
“And then give her a five finger discount,” Nick said. “Then ask her out on a date and see if she’ll give you a hand discount…”
“Really?” I asked. “It’s a wonder how you didn’t make it into college, Nick.”
He laughed and pushed from the work bench. “You have fun, Trev. Good luck.”
I threw him the finger and turned to face the car. I rubbed my chin and knew that Nick was right. I looked out of the garage bay and saw Sera standing where I had left her. She was looking down at her phone, biting on her bottom lip.
There was just something about her. I couldn’t exactly explain it yet. She’d caught my attention. Leave it at that.
I went back to the car, trying to convince myself that I was going to check the car and keep everything else normal.
I popped the hood and looked down.
I smiled.
I was going to end up screwing myself over… big time.
* * *
“Hey, when was the last time you changed the oil?”
Sera turned and hurried to put her phone away. “What?”
“The oil. You know that has to get changed once in a while, right?”
She shrugged her shoulders.
“So you don’t know the last time it was changed?”
“No,” she said. “Is that what was wrong?”
“Oil’s changed now, Sera,” I said. “I’ve got all the lights to turn off. Nothing important. Everything else looks good though. You can drive it and see how it does, but the oil… that wasn’t good. There wasn’t much in there. If you kept driving that…”
I stopped.
“What?” she asked.
“You don’t give a shit, do
you?”
“I care.”
“Not about the car,” I said.
“Just tell me how much I owe you.”
I wiped my hands and shook my head. “What are you hiding from, Sera?”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re as skittish as anything. You’re worried about something. You have a boyfriend or something? You think he’ll get mad that I got your phone number? Say the word and I’ll delete it.”
“No. It’s not that.”
“I thought I could get your number and maybe we could hang out again and talk. That was nice. It was nice to have someone actually speak the truth about what happened with Heath. Instead of the normal so sad bullshit.”
“We talked for twenty minutes, Trev.”
“I know. And then you took off. So I was hoping maybe we could talk again.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Why?”
“Because I said no,” Sera said.
I showed my hands in defeat. “Okay. No problem.”
“What do I owe?”
“First one’s free,” I said.
“No,” she said. She stuck her hand into her pocket and took out some money. “I’m paying. I’m not doing that free stuff. No way. I’m not owing you a thing.”
She was defensive and looked ready to either punch me or cry. And maybe I was playing that lame card of giving her something for free, in the hopes of getting some time with her.
“Okay,” I said.
“This is all I have right now,” she said. “If it’s more, then I’ll come back.”
She put the money into my hand and I squeezed her hand with mine. We were frozen for a few seconds as I held her hand.
“Whatever it is, Sera, I’m not that type.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Whatever you think of me. Of who I am. Of what I do. You followed me that night and I let you sit in my truck because it was cool outside. That wasn’t me expecting you to do anything. I’m not that guy.”
I took my hand away and stuffed her money into my back pocket.
Then I went to get her car.
I was pissed at myself for letting her comment stick in my head. Of her being messed up. Because I was messed up too. It was weird to want to know someone else’s fucked up story about their life.
EVERYTHING WRONG WITH US_a novel by: Page 5