“There’s something I have to do, and it means I’ll have to be away from home for a while. I can’t afford the time away to go to Europe and do this.”
“Okay…you’re being very cryptic.”
“We’ll talk more when you get home in a couple weeks. That is, if you’re still coming home.”
“Where else would I go? Is it okay if I come home?”
“Of course it’s okay, but you don’t have to. If you’re coming home for me, don’t. If there’s something you’d rather do, you should do it.”
“All right, crazy person. Whoever you are, can you please ask my mom to call me when you see her again?”
Liv laughed. “I miss you, sweetie, and I can’t wait to see you. Oh, and I hope you’re not too disappointed about our vacation.”
“No, I’m okay. But, Mom—what happened with you and Ben?”
“We both have to live our own lives, sweetheart. I care a lot about him, but I care about me more.”
Two weeks later, Liv picked Renie up from the airport, and told her what she planned to do.
“Can I go with you?” Renie asked.
“Of course you can, but it won’t be very exciting. I have a lot of hard work ahead of me.”
“Maybe I can help. There’s something else I want to talk over with you. About school.”
“What’s that?”
“I’ve been considering this for a long time.”
“What?”
“I’m transferring to Colorado State University’s College of Veterinary Medicine. Next year.”
“You are?”
“I’m not cut out to be a people doc, Mom.”
Renie had been on a biomedical track at Dartmouth, but seemed ambivalent about what she might do with it. She wondered for a while if her daughter would take a couple of years off, and continue with the graduate portion of her education after she decided what she wanted to do with her life.
“Large animal vet, huh?”
“It’s what I’m meant to be, Mom. It’s so obvious.”
“Have you started the transfer process?”
“It’s done. Which is one of the reasons I wanted to come home this week. I need to go to Fort Collins and complete the paperwork. I can do that tomorrow, and we can still leave for Texas the day after.”
Ben thought about canceling the show in Denver, but that would go against everything he and Liv promised each other. Besides, it had sold out three hours after the tickets went on sale.
As hard as it was for him to let her go, the things Liv said made sense. Asking her to give up her life to travel with him was as ludicrous an idea as her asking him to give up his career for her.
They both agreed it would be best to focus on themselves the next few months. As Liv reminded him, the record company had high hopes for their new album, and the tour they’d schedule included venues Ben had once only dreamed of playing.
When they talked earlier in the week, he’d almost asked her to come home for this show, but he’d stopped himself. It had taken him forty-three years to get to the point where he considered someone else’s feelings as much, or more, than his own. He was determined to be the kind of man a woman like Liv could eventually see herself spending the rest of her life with.
“Believe in us, Ben,” she’d asked of him. “If we’re meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other. In the meantime, we both have to chase our own dreams.”
It was especially difficult for him to do when every night his dreams were about being with her.
He was sitting in the dressing room when Jimmy knocked. “There’s someone here to see you. Remember that woman from Las Vegas? She’s here.”
Ben’s heart stopped. “Liv?”
“No, the other one, Paige.”
“Let her come back.” Ben tried to rub the ache in his chest away, but it wasn’t on the surface, it was deep inside.
“Hey,” he said, standing to greet Paige and give her a hug. Mark stood behind her.
“Come in, have a seat. How have you been? Glad you came to the show.”
He tried to sound enthusiastic, but after thinking Liv was here, it was impossible for him to hide his disappointment.
Mark made small talk, but Paige was antsy.
“Spill, Paige.”
“Are you going to Texas?”
“No, Paige. I’m not. Not until she asks me to.”
“Argh. You’re both so stubborn.”
Racing legend Mary Beth Wilson agreed to train Micah, while Jolene Baxter trained Liv. No one Liv had spoken to thought forty too old to start barrel racing. Jolene had won nine world title championships in her career, the last at fifty-eight—and barrel racing didn’t have age classifications. Jolene competed against eighteen-year-olds, twenty-six-year-olds, fifty-year-olds and everything in between.
“There’s a lot more to barrel racing than people think,” Jolene told her. “It’s all about making sure you have control of the horse’s poll, neck, shoulder, barrel, and hind end. You’re a solid rider. What you need to do now is be a sponge. Squeeze every bit of knowledge you can out of the horse you’re gonna train on. Then shower it on Micah when he’s ready.”
Liv and Micah started training and when they did, Liv tried her hardest to put everything and everyone else, out of her head.
It wasn’t easy, when every night, she dreamed about being with Ben.
“No, no, no,” Jolene yelled at Liv. “You’re not focusing. You need to blast home. Micah knows it. Where is your self-confidence today? Come on, do it again.”
“Whaddaya think?” Mary Beth asked Jolene.
“She’s got it in her. There are days she just doesn’t believe in herself. She knows that horse, no question about it, and they have a strong connection. It’s her head that’s giving her trouble. I wanna get her in the game.”
“You think she’s ready?”
“Yes, I do, and this’ll show her. That’s the only piece she’s missing—enough confidence in herself. She’s almost all the way there, and then somethin’ makes her get back in her head.”
“I’ll get her into Woodward. The people are friendly and it has real good ground condition.”
“Yep, that’ll be the perfect start for our Livvie.” Bill Patterson drove down the day before with Dottie to check on Liv’s progress, and was eavesdropping on Jolene and Mary Beth’s conversation.
He was astounded by what he saw when he watched Liv, enough that he’d wager anyone who would take the bet that she’d finish in the top three at the Woodward rodeo, and then she’d be in the money.
He’d known Jolene Baxter almost all his life. Dottie had been a bridesmaid in Jolene’s wedding to Larry, who was the best farrier Bill knew. Dottie did good getting their girl set up with these folks.
“What’s goin’ on in that sweet head of yours, darlin’ girl?” Dottie asked as Liv walked Micah.
“I dunno. Not on my game today I guess. I’m missin’ Renie. And Paige texted. Too many distractions.”
“I hope you aren’t countin’ Bill and me as a distraction. I’d hate for us to be the reason you can’t get your focus.”
“No, not you and Bill, not ever. I don’t know how to thank you for this, Dottie. It’s because of you that I’m doin’ this.”
“No, it’s not. It’s because of you that you’re doin’ this and don’t you ever forget it.”
“A little bird told me that Livvie is competin’ in her first rodeo this weekend,” said Bill, joining them.
“Bill Patterson, are you tellin’ the truth? Our Livvie is gonna be barrel racin’ in a rodeo this weekend?”
Liv bent over with her hands on her knees, and took in a deep breath. When she stood up her hat flew into the air. She let out the loudest woohoo Dottie had ever heard out of a girl.
“Micah, did you hear that?” She nuzzled up against him. “We’re ready, boy.”
She wished Renie would come this weekend to see her mom in her first barrel race, but she’d be too busy get
ting ready to go back to school in two weeks.
Oh, the hell with that, thought Liv. Her first barrel race—Renie damn well better come down for it.
She wished Ben could come too, but he was the reason she lost her focus today. She dreamt about him last night, and this morning she couldn’t get him off her mind. Dreaming about him wasn’t unusual, she did almost every night. Last night was different, though. She and Ben were having sex, and the dream was so vivid, she swore he was in the room with her when she woke up, sweating.
She missed him more than she thought possible, but asking him to come to her first rodeo would go against what they’d promised each other. Ben’s focus was on the band, her focus was on barrel-racing. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them if one pressured the other to put their dreams second.
It had been two months and twenty-eight days since she last saw him. She counted the hours too. He was on tour now, and the photos she saw on social media were amazing. He looked good, sexy as ever, with that smile that made her knees weak. As much as she’d tried to tell herself she didn’t love him, she did. They hadn’t said the words, but she’d always love him, and she knew he loved her. She only hoped their combined love was strong enough to carry them through to a time they could be together without either of them sacrificing their own life.
Ben wanted to kill Paige Cochran.
How much time do you have off before the next show? She texted him.
Five days.Why?
Woodward, Oklahoma is 9 hours and 48 minutes from Crested Butte.
Huh?
Get in your truck and DRIVE cowboy. Mark and I will meet you there.
This had to have something to do with Liv, but why would Paige tell him to go to Oklahoma when Liv was in Texas?
When he texted and asked, she didn’t answer. Something, though, pulled at him to get in his truck, and do what Paige was telling him to do.
There were at least ten different times during the 570 mile drive that Ben thought about turning his truck around and heading home. But that same feeling in his gut told him to keep driving. Paige was a live wire, no question about it. But if she wanted him to come to Woodward, Oklahoma, home of exactly nothing, it must have something to do with Liv.
He only hoped that when he got there, she’d be happy to see him.
15
He was fiddling with the radio, trying to find a station when the road sign caught his attention. “Hope, next exit,” it said. As with everything, he convinced himself it meant something. Something about Liv.
Where are you? His phone pinged with another text from Paige.
Filling up the gas tank in a place called Hope, he answered.
You’re close. Hurry.
Ben swore Paige would be the death of him one day. But she connected him to Liv. He’d put up with her until he took his last breath if he had to.
Ben got back on the highway and drove to Woodward. As his internet search had predicted, there was nothing in Woodward, except a rodeo taking place tonight. He parked the truck and texted Paige.
At the rodeo, is this where I’m supposed to be?
Ticket waiting at will call for you.
Yep, she was a laugh a minute, that Paige.
Ben saw Paige and Mark sitting in the center section of the stands, halfway up. Renie was sitting with them.
He gave Paige a kiss on the cheek when he got to his seat and whispered, “This better be good.”
“Oh, it will be,” she answered. “I guarantee it.”
Mark shook his hand and shook his head. Renie waved at him. He supposed there’d be time for talking later.
“Ladies and gentlemen, our next event tonight is barrel racing.” The announcement came through the loud speaker. “We’ve got a lineup of a few of the finest barrel racers in the state of Oklahoma. Y’all are in for a real treat. And, I’m told two of the grand dames of the sport are with us tonight, with one of their protégé riders. Everybody give a big round of applause for Ms. Mary Beth Wilson and Ms. Jolene Baxter.”
The crowd stood and cheered while the two women rode the arena loop, and the announcer listed their impressive achievements in barrel racing.
“First up tonight is a little lady out of Monument, Colorado. Ms. Mary Beth and Ms. Jolene have been workin’ this girl hard, and they tell us they expect her in Las Vegas come the end of the year. Everybody give a big welcome to Olivia Fairchild, ridin’ Micah.”
Every bit of air left Ben’s lungs as he saw Liv and Micah fly out of the alley, heading for the first barrel in the pattern. Micah went left around the barrel, then right. Both barrels were standing as Liv guided him to the third and final barrel. He rounded it perfectly and she headed home, urging him for more speed to the timer.
“Ladies and gentlemen, coming in with a time of sixteen point eight is the little lady from Colorado. That is an unbelievable time for a first-time racer. Let’s give her and Micah a big round of applause. Wow! I’d say Mary Beth and Jolene have trained a champion, wouldn’t you, folks?”
The crowd stood again. Everyone except Ben, who was still trying to find the air he needed to breathe. He looked up at Renie, who met his gaze. They both had tears in their eyes.
“She’s amazing, isn’t she?” Renie came and sat next to him.
“So amazing.” He wiped his eyes, but it didn’t seem to do any good. There were so many reasons he wanted to cry. He was so proud of Liv he couldn’t contain his emotions.
“You must think I’m…”
“I don’t think you’re anything, except in love with my mom.” Renie put her hand on Ben’s. “I don’t know what happened, but this change in her is because of you.”
He shook his head, still unable to speak.
“I’ve never seen my mom so determined about anything. Or passionate. I never knew she had it in her, is that terrible for me to say?”
“Your mom is one of the most passionate people I’ve ever known. And I don’t mean that in the way you’re assuming I do.”
Renie laughed out loud. “I’m not assuming anything, Ben.” The smile it brought to her face stayed there.
“I better get going.”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you saying your mom knows I’m here?”
“No. She doesn’t.”
“This is her night. Not mine. I don’t know what your mom told you, but we made a promise to each other. Unless she asked me to be here, I’m not supposed to be.”
“That’s silly, she’d—”
Ben held up his hand. “Renie, your mom and I have an agreement, and if I don’t honor it, how do you think she’ll feel?”
“She doesn’t know Paige and Mark are here, either.”
“It’s different, and you know it.”
Ben squeezed Paige’s hand and winked. There weren’t tears in her eyes until their eyes met. “Thank you,” he mouthed before he stood, shook Mark’s hand and left the stands, hands in his pockets.
He only hoped he could get out of there and into his truck without completely breaking down. He was so damn proud of her. When they talked last night, she hadn’t said a word about competing this weekend, and that was why he didn’t understand Paige’s text. If she had wanted him to be here, she would’ve said so.
Something by the barn caught his eye. Liv. He watched her run into the arms of a cowboy who picked her up and spun her around in a circle. The look on her face was pure joy. The cowboy’s too. Joy.
He forgot about trying not to cry―now he worried he wouldn’t make it to the truck before his chest cracked open with the pain burning in it. He had his answer. The reason Liv hadn’t invited him to be here was because she was with someone else.
“Olivia Fairchild, am I ever proud of you!” Billy Patterson hooted at her before he swept her off her feet and spun her in a circle.
“Can you believe it? I got a sixteen point eight? I thought there was something wrong with the clock and I would be disqualified. Shit, Billy, sixteen point eight!”
; “My mom and dad said you worked hard for it, girl. They’re damn proud of you. And I hope you don’t mind me sayin’ I am too.”
“Thanks, Billy. That means a lot to me.”
“Whaddaya say we go do a little celebratin’ tonight, just you and me?”
“Billy—”
“I’m just messin’ around, but it was worth a try. Thought maybe you’re so delirious with happiness that you forgot I don’t do it for ya. God, Livvie, I’ve loved you most of my life.”
“There are plenty of girls you do it for, Billy Patterson. Plenty. And you never loved me. I’m somebody safe you flirted with.”
“Come out with us later. I’m meeting up with your folks and some friends.” She winked at him.
“Whoo-wee, you keep that up, girl, and I’ll be flirtin’ with you all night long.”
Liv turned to walk Micah back to the barns. There was another round tomorrow night, and if she did well, she might be in the money on Sunday—at her first rodeo.
She walked back out after Micah was settled and looked up at the stars. “Ben, are you seeing the same night sky I am?” She put her arms around her waist, as though she held him close to her. “What I would’ve given to have you here tonight. I wonder what you would’ve thought about all this?”
She knew damn well what he would’ve thought. Ben would’ve been proud of her. She missed him so much, it hurt deep down in her soul.
Don’t go home, the text from Paige said. What the hell? If heartbreak didn’t kill him, the heart attack Paige gave him would.
Ben pulled off the road. He couldn’t drive home, at least not tonight. He needed to find a place to stay, sleep, and leave in the morning.
Don’t go home, the text came through again.
I’m not, he wrote back.
Where are you?
Couple blocks away.
Meet us at Blue Water on Main.
Enough with the texts. He called her.
“Hey,” she answered.
“Paige, I gotta tell you, I haven’t been this close to havin’ a drink in a year. You have to let up on me a bit. You mean well, but…”
Fall for Me (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 1) Page 14