“Your daughter is one of the most gracious, seemingly well-adjusted people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. You did a great job as her mother, Liv.”
“Thank you. I appreciate you saying so.”
“You have no idea. It always surprises me.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have no idea how great you are.”
“I’m a sure thing, cowboy, you don’t have to pile on the charm.”
Ben thought he might lose it right there on the sidewalk in the middle of his hometown. Had he heard her right? Yesterday he would’ve predicted he’d never see her again, now it felt as though no time had passed since they were together. The hard times forgotten, for now, for tonight. Unless that was why she wanted to talk. He almost dreaded it. He didn’t want to talk, he wanted to hold her close. Skin on skin.
“Will you stay at the house tonight?” he asked.
“I don’t think you want to stay in the hotel room with Renie and me, do you?”
“Uh, no,” he laughed.
“Well then, I guess I better stay at your house.” She said it softly, demurely, seductively. Very, very soon Ben would have a difficult time walking.
“How about a horror movie marathon?” he heard Renie say to the boys.
“Yeah,” said Jake.
“Nooo,” said Luke. “Liv, I don’t want to watch horror movies. Can we watch somethin’ else?”
Oh no, Luke wasn’t horning in on his time with Liv tonight. No way. There’d be plenty of time later for movie marathons with his boys. Tonight she was all his.
“Well,” said Renie, “tonight we should watch what Luke wants to watch, and tomorrow night it’ll be Jake’s turn to pick. Does that sound fair?”
“Boys, a gentleman would let the lady choose.”
“Um, okay. Renie, you can pick, but please don’t pick horror,” said Luke.
“I want to watch Ghostbusters,” she said.
“Ghostbusters? What’s that?” asked both his boys.
“You haven’t seen Ghostbusters? You’re kidding. It’s the funniest movie ever. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen Airplane either.” Both boys shook their heads.
“Oh this will be a very fun week. Renie’s ride through the funniest movies ever made, before you both were born. We’ll have a blast.”
“Are you gonna stay at my dad’s house?” asked Jake.
Liv nodded.
“Yay!” Luke jumped up and down.
“Do you remember how to get there?” asked Ben.
Liv smiled. “I can probably find it.”
“Tell you what, we’ll follow you to your hotel. You can check out, and we’ll help load your stuff into your car. Then you can follow us to the ranch.”
“Perfect.” Liv kissed his cheek.
Ben really, really hoped this wasn’t a dream.
23
It was dark, so Renie wouldn’t be able to appreciate the ranch for what it was until tomorrow. The boys fought over who got to carry the bags inside, and once they did, they had no idea where to put them.
“Where are you sleeping?” Jake asked Renie.
“I don’t know, let’s ask your dad. This is a very nice house, by the way.”
“My mom used to live here too, but now she lives in a different house, and she has a different husband,” Luke told her.
He was a wealth of uncomfortable information, thought Ben. “Okay, partner, let’s get Renie settled in the guest room downstairs, and we’ll let Liv stay in the one upstairs.”
“Liv isn’t gonna sleep in your room, Daddy?”
Luke again. Where did his kid get this stuff?
“We’ll see about that later. Now how about that movie? If you don’t start watching it in…thirty seconds, you won’t be able to watch it tonight because it’ll end later than your bedtime. Follow me, Renie, I’ll show you where you can set up your movie marathon.”
Liv stood in the family room, looking out windows she never thought she would again. She was here, with Ben, and Renie was with her. If anyone had told her last week that this would be happening she would’ve bet a million dollars they were wrong. Yet here she was.
“Come on,” Ben said, taking her hand. “They’re settled in, and Renie promised she’d make sure she’d find whatever they needed on her own.”
Ben led her into his bedroom, and closed the door behind them. Somehow, suddenly, she was in his arms. She pressed herself into him so she felt his heart beating. The warmth of his body seeped through the clothes she longed to rip off him.
“You’re shaking,” he whispered. “It’s okay, Liv. This is where you’re meant to be. Kiss me, give it all to me, every bit of you.”
“Ben, we have to talk.”
“No, Liv, we don’t. Not now. Now I want you under me, naked. Then later, over me. And then all around me. I love you so damn much I can’t think about anything else.”
“But—”
“Liv, I’ll get down on my hands and knees and beg if I have to. Please, take off your clothes. Please, I can’t stand it another second.”
“Okay,” she said, as if the battle was lost and she had no fight left in her. “But you first.”
Ben’s clothes were off as fast as he could tear them away from his body, and he was helping Liv get rid of hers.
“God, I need you so much.”
“Ben…” There it was, the way she said his name, as if he hadn’t been on fire already.
“Ben, stop.”
Something in the way she said it resonated with him, and he stopped.
“Tell me,” he said, his breathing lumbered.
“I’m not on birth control anymore.”
“Liv, I—” What? What could he say? That he didn’t care? They would be spending the rest of their lives together, and if she had his baby it would make him the happiest man on earth? She’d run out of the house naked to get away from him if he said any of that.
“Don’t worry, sweet girl,” he said instead, kissing down her neck. “I’ll take care of you, you know that.” His mouth worked its way lower, across her breasts, down to her stomach. He put his arms around her and pulled her close, laying his cheek against her, imagining how it would be to know she carried his child inside her.
He stood and lifted her on to the bed. “I need you, baby, all of you.” He rolled onto his back, so she was on top of him. “Be still, this way, your skin on mine. Look at me, Liv.” He put his hands on each side of her face, and sang to her.
Having had your joy, having had your desire, and then, baby, you fall.
“I dreamt of this,” she said. “Fantasized about it, would be a better way to put it.”
“Oh, yeah? When?”
“All the time.”
“Tell me.”
“Better to show you.” Liv opened the drawer on the nightstand, but Ben held up his hand and showed her he already had what she was looking for.
“Put it on for me,” he said.
Liv’s cheeks turned pink, but she took the package from his hand.
“We could go without, if you wanted to,” he ventured.
“Ben—I don’t…”
Why had he opened his mouth? Now wasn’t the time to have this conversation. “I’m sorry. Forget I said that. Keep doin’ what you were doin’, baby. Don’t stop.”
She rolled it on, then straddled him until he was buried deep inside her. She leaned back, but her hands rested on his chest. Ben held her still, then started to move beneath her. He leaned up, to get more of her against him as he drove himself into her. Her hands dug into his skin as his cupped her bottom.
“Liv, I can’t wait. Waited so long for this. Oh God, I love you.”
His mouth moved over her lips, his teeth scraped hers and he bit her swollen bottom lip.
He rolled her beneath him, the way he saw her in his fantasies, writhing under him. “Here,” he said, “right here, Liv.” He drove into her, relentlessly, pushing her, pushing himself, until they both came together.
Liv put her face against his sweaty neck and licked up under his ear. She breathed in deeply, as though she wanted to say something.
Ben stilled, waiting. But nothing. Her lips kissed from his ear to his jaw until her mouth found his. She kissed him hard, putting her arms around his shoulders to hold herself closer.
“Tell me,” he said, easing her back down on to the pillow.
“Ben.”
“Don’t just say my name. Tell me. You know what I want to hear.”
She closed her eyes and turned her head on the pillow, away from him. Here he went again, pushing her too hard. What was wrong with him? She was back in his arms, they were joined, two as one, but he still pushed her.
“Liv, open your eyes.” He waited until she did. “I’m sorry, I won’t push. I need you so much, but I’ll only take what you’ll give. I won’t keep asking for more.”
She nodded and reached up again to put her lips on his. “Ben…will you catch me if I fall?”
“You know I will, baby.”
He eased off of her, and went into the other room to get rid of the condom. He looked in the mirror and shook his head. Why was he so impatient with her? What was it he had to know right now? That she loved him? She did, but something stopped her from saying the words.
Ben got back in bed and pulled her closer to him, so her back was to his front.
“What did you want to talk about?”
“We should wait until tomorrow.”
She was killing him. He wanted everything, her body, her love, and now her thoughts. This woman made him crazy with desire to get inside her in every way possible. He could never be close enough to her and yet, the harder he tried to hold her close, the more she inched away.
“Okay, I’ll talk.” He felt her body tense. “I was so afraid I’d lost you forever. I never would’ve allowed myself to think about you being here, as you are right now.”
“I know, Ben. I felt the same way.”
“The universe is telling us something. We keep coming back to each other. Maybe we should try harder to stay together.”
“It won’t be easy.”
“Why not?”
“I want to race again. Give it all I’ve got. It will take hard work and training. And travel.”
“As long as we’re both committed, we can make this work, Liv.”
“What about you? You’re going back out on tour.”
“I am? Have you been on our website, darlin’? You watchin’ my tour schedule?”
“I’m a stalker, remember?”
“We need to get you set up with your own barrel racing fan page, so I can watch you. See you in those tight jeans and cowgirl shirts. The way your body bends and moves when you’re racin’. Jesus, that gets me hot.”
What had it been? Five minutes? And he wanted her again. He planned to wear her out tonight. She might not have enough strength left to ski tomorrow.
There was a good idea. Renie and the boys could go to the mountain, while he and Liv stayed here at the house. There were all kinds of places he imagined making love to Liv’s sweet body.
“What are you thinking about, cowboy?”
“You. Naked. All over my house.” She shuddered. Evidently she liked that idea as much as he did.
Luke woke them the next morning. He climbed up on the bed and situated himself between his dad and Liv.
“What’s up, partner?” Ben groaned, his voice still thick with sleep.
“What’re we doin’ today, Daddy?”
“What do you want to do?”
“Let’s go snowmobiling around the ranch.”
That wasn’t a bad idea. They had several. He wondered if Renie would be interested in doing that. He could show her and Liv all the best views on the ranch.
“How’s that sound, Liv?”
“Good to me. I don’t know about you, little guy, but I’m starving. What do you say we get up and make a giant ranch breakfast?”
“You know how to make a ranch breakfast?”
“I do. I live on a ranch. Guess you didn’t know that.”
“You do?” Luke’s voice caught. “Does Renie’s daddy take care of it for you?”
“No, Renie’s dad died many years ago. He was a pilot in the Air Force.”
“Oh.” Luke’s voice shook a little. “Does that make you and Renie sad?”
“It used to, but we know he keeps us safe.”
“Who takes care of your ranch for you?”
“I do. And we have hands. Do you have ranch hands that help your daddy and your grandparents?”
“We do,” he answered and then proceeded to tell her about the more colorful guys that worked their ranch.
Ben slipped out of bed to let the two of them talk. He pulled on sweats and a shirt, and went to the kitchen to start the coffee, and saw Renie standing by the window.
“It’s breathtaking,” she said, hearing him behind her.
“It isn’t bad.”
“How do you ever leave it?”
“I could say the same thing about your spread.”
“It’s my mom’s spread, but you’re right, it’s awesome too.” Renie walked to where he was in the kitchen.
“Somethin’ on your mind, young lady?”
“Hoping you two figure it out this time,” she sighed.
“Me, too.” He laughed, pulling her into a hug.
“I like you, Ben, and you’re good for her.”
“What about the Patterson guy? What happened there?”
“Billy?” Renie blushed, and then laughed. “They’re friends. That’s all they’ve ever been.”
“Are you sure?”
“Um, yeah,” she laughed. “I’m positive.”
“Is there more to this story?”
Renie smiled and shrugged her shoulders.
“I want bacon.” Luke pulled Liv behind him. It occurred to Ben that he abandoned her under the blankets without any clothes, but here she was, wearing a big shirt of his and her long underwear from yesterday.
Ben raised his eyebrows as she walked into his arms for a hug.
“It wasn’t easy. Thank goodness little boys have to go potty.”
Ben threw his head back and laughed. “I wondered.”
Liv started rummaging around Ben’s cabinets.
“Whatcha’ lookin’ for, baby?”
“Finding my way around your kitchen.”
“Make yourself at home,” he winked. There was nothing he’d like more.
They spent the day exploring the ranch, and Ben took them by his parents’ place mid-afternoon.
“Well, well, am I happy to see you.” Bud came off the porch and swept Liv into a big hug. “I prayed hard for you, little lady.”
Liv buried her face into his shoulder to hide her tears. A few simple words, coupled with his unmasked joy, made her cry.
Ginny came out of the door and gasped when she saw Liv standing next to Ben, his arm around her shoulder.
“Aren’t you a sight for these old eyes? Come here, girl, and let me look at you.”
Liv was touched by the warmth and love these two people, who barely knew her, expressed so openly. The same way Ben did. She envied the way they loved without hesitation. For the second time, Liv was moved to tears when Ginny put her arms around her.
“When did you get here?” Ginny asked.
“We got into town the day after Christmas.”
Ginny raised her eyebrows at Ben, who laughed, and pulled Liv back closer to him. His body craved hers. Riding on the snowmobile, with her arms around his waist, her body pressed against his back, was heaven to him. Whenever she moved away, he wanted her back, closer, so his hands were on her, somewhere, anywhere.
He leaned down and whispered, “My mama gave me a little lecture on Christmas. Somethin’ about getting off my butt and going after you. I bet she’s givin’ herself credit for you being here today.”
“Ah.” She turned back to Ginny and saw the happiness etched on her face.
“Let’s have a big dinner here tonight. We’ll get your brothers and their wives to come.”
“I’d like to help,” Liv offered.
“Me, too,” added Renie.
“We’ll take the snowmobiles back to the house, okay, boys?” Ben turned to Liv again, pulling her close. “I can’t keep my hands off you. And you in the kitchen…I’m hot for you again already.”
Liv laughed. “Is there anything that doesn’t make you hot for me?”
“You in another man’s arms didn’t do it. I can tell you that.” There he went, opening his mouth again. He needed to work on filtering.
“What are you talking about?”
“The rodeo finals, I was watchin’ them and there you were with Junior. Bigger than life on the screen in front of me.”
“We were there, but it wasn’t that way, Ben. I wasn’t with him.”
“Not somethin’ I can let myself think about, Liv. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“I can’t let myself think about you with anyone else either.”
“Nobody, Liv. I told you that. There isn’t anybody else for me. I would have become…what did you call it? A redo-virgin if you hadn’t come back to me.”
Liv laughed. “Me, too.”
“Come on, Daddy.” Luke tugged on his coat sleeve. “Let’s go ride again.”
Ben looked at Jake, who hadn’t said more than two words this morning. He was so wrapped up in Liv, he hadn’t noticed.
“Sure thing, Luke. In a minute. Why don’t you see if your grandma has any cookies you can snack on?” Ben pushed Luke in the direction of the house. “And don’t forget to wash your hands. Oh, and bring me some.”
Ben motioned with his head in Jake’s direction, and Liv nodded.
“Come on, Renie, let’s go help Ginny.”
Ben sat down on the porch steps, waiting to see what Jake would do now that they were alone. He turned and faced the mountains, his back to Ben.
“What’s on your mind, Jake?”
“Nothin’.”
“You’ve been awful quiet. Not that you’re talkative to begin with, but this seems quieter than normal.”
Fall for Me (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 1) Page 22