“I have never been so close to this place and not had a hail of arrows raining down upon me,” she said softly. “It seems very strange.”
Gaithlin turned to look at her. “Are you afraid?”
Alicia thought a moment. “Afraid? Nay,” she said. “But as I gaze upon this castle, I see generations of de Gares who have died because of it, your father included. So many deaths. It does not seem right to enter the gates in peace. I feel I should be entering the gates as a conquering hero to justify all of the de Gare dead. I cannot help wonder what your father would say.”
Gaithlin could see up ahead that Christian and Quinton had come to a halt. Their conversation was evidently over and Christian’s gaze was seeking out his wife, wandering back with the group and speaking with a woman in armor. He lifted a hand to Gaithlin and she waved back. But before she went to him, she turned to her mother.
“I would hope that Father would be happy,” she said quietly. “I believe he only wanted peace as well. Even if he did not and his thoughts were much the same as Jean St. John’s… I choose to believe he was fighting for something more than just an old family Feud. I choose to believe Papa wanted peace, after all. Isn’t that truly the only thing worth fighting for?”
Gaithlin left her mother with that thought. Alicia watched her daughter as she made her way to her husband, falling into his embrace, something that seemed so natural and warm between them. Even though he was the hated Demon, it did her heart good to see her daughter so very happy. It was evident in everything about her.
Alicia’s thoughts returned to Alex de Gare, the proud and stubborn man she had married. He’d always had a big soft spot when it came to his daughter. Once he had overcome the shock of his daughter marrying into the House of St. John, she was sure he would have been happy for Gaithlin, too.
Still… the thought of Alex’s reaction when he realized his son-in-law was none other than the Demon of Eden made her smile.
EPILOGUE
One year later
“Push, Gaithlin,” Alicia encouraged. “He is almost here. Give us another big push!”
Squatting on a birthing stool in the massive bedchamber she shared with her husband at Eden, Gaithlin was exhausted and in pain. Having gone into labor with her first child around sunset, she had spent the entire night rolling with contractions until dawn. Now, as the sun peeked over the eastern horizon, the head of her child was pushing his way into the world.
But it was excruciating work. Sweating and in agony, she gripped the stool as her maid servants held the skirt of her shift up and away from the work going on below her waist. Alicia had been with her daughter throughout her pregnancy and was now delivering her grandchild. It was an exciting, thrilling, and terrifying moment. The baby’s red head was just starting to make an appearance and Alicia was seized with joy.
“One more push, Gaithlin,” she said soothingly, rubbing her daughter’s quivering thigh. “He is ready to come but you must push hard with your next pain. Can you do this?”
Gaithlin’s hair, wet with perspiration, hung in her face. She grunted and groaned. “I do not have a choice,” she snapped. “Can you not just pull the bloody baby out of me?”
Alicia fought off a grin at her daughter’s raging. “I can pull him if you push a little more,” she said. “Push again, sweetheart. One more time!”
Another pain seized Gaithlin and she grunted loudly as she bore down, pushing with all of her might at the child who had been seemingly stuck for the past hour or two. He was a large baby and quite unwilling to be born, but Gaithlin had other ideas. She would not let her son gain the upper hand; at least, not yet. With a groan that turned into a scream, she pushed as hard as she could and the baby’s head slipped forth. Alicia grabbed hold, working the child until a shoulder popped out. Then, with another great push, the very fat baby slithered out into his grandmother’s waiting hands.
“He is here!” Alicia cried, wiping off his face and mouth as an old serving woman rubbed the baby’s feet. “Gaithlin, it is a boy! You have a son!”
Collapsed against her maids, Gaithlin let out a cry of joy and relief about the time the baby began to mewl like a kitten. When Alicia rubbed the baby’s back vigorously, the child let out a substantial wail. As Gaithlin tried to find the strength to sit up and gain a better look at her son, the door to the chamber flew open.
Christian was standing in the doorway, his handsome face pale and his eyes wide. “I heard a cry,” he said breathlessly. “Has my son arrived? How is my wife?”
Gaithlin giggled at her husband’s panicked reaction and strained to look over her shoulder at him. “He is here,” she said. “Your son has healthy lungs.”
Even though Christian had heard the initial cry of the baby, still, it was a bit shocking to realize that the child they had longed and prayed for had finally arrived. He even swayed a little but Quinton, standing behind him in the corridor outside of the chamber, gave him a little shove into the room.
“Go see him, Papa,” he teased.
Christian staggered into the room, drawing close to his wife, still seated on the birthing stool, and collapsing on his knees beside her. He didn’t even look at the baby; the first thing he did was throw his arms around Gaithlin and bury his face in her chest. He hugged her tightly, tears coming to his eyes in joy and relief, as she wrapped weary arms around him.
“Are you well?” he asked, his voice muffled by her shift.
Gaithlin lay her cheek on the top of his head. “Well enough,” she muttered, watching her mother hand the baby off to a servant so the woman could deliver the afterbirth. “I cannot say I would be willing to do this again anytime soon.”
Christian laughed softly, lifting his head to kiss her tenderly. “And I cannot say I would be willing to endure the wait again anytime soon,” he said. “But thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”
Emotional, exhausted, Gaithlin wept softly as Christian kissed her lips and cheeks. Her mother was still working between her legs and Christian deliberately kept his gaze on Gaithlin’s face as the woman finished delivering the afterbirth and sent it away with one of the maids. Then she took her grandson from the servant, handing the screaming, flailing infant to her daughter.
Both Gaithlin and Christian cooed with awe as Alicia placed the baby on Gaithlin’s chest. As Gaithlin held him tightly, Christian timidly touched the little hand.
“He is so large,” Christian said, grinning. “And look; he has blond hair.”
Gaithlin was busy inspecting the mewling little face but noticed the thick mat of fine hair, drying blond in the warmth of the room. “He will look just like you,” she said. “Already I can see it.”
Christian had never been so moved by any single event in his life as he gazed at his wife and son. His big hand rested gently against the baby’s soft back as he took a moment to absorb the joy he was feeling. He could hardly believe it.
“Put him on the nipple, Gaithlin,” Alicia said, hovering over the little family. “See if he will feed.”
Obediently, and with Christian’s help, Gaithlin pulled back the top of her shift to expose an engorged breast. She put the baby against her nipple, cooing to him gently, until the baby latched on and began to suckle furiously. Alicia had her hands on the baby’s head, admiring him just as Gaithlin and Christian were, when a soft voice called to her.
“Alicia,” it was Quinton. She looked up and saw him standing in the doorway, beckoning to her. “Come to me. Let them alone for a few moments.”
With a smile and a kiss to the top of Christian’s head, Alicia went to Quinton, taking his outstretched hand and accepting a kiss to her cheek. Over the past year, Quinton had taken quite a liking to Alicia, a lovely older woman, and a gentle romance was in the making. It had done Alicia’s heart a world of good as well and she was learning not to hold back her feelings. As she stood with Quinton in the doorway, watching Gaithlin and Christian with their newborn, she felt a tug on her skirts.
Malc
olm stood next to her, trying to get her attention; over the past year, he had filled up and grown taller and was now almost at her shoulder height. He was quick, intelligent, loving and humorous, and spent most of his time with Alicia at Winding Cross as lord of the castle. He had become an integral part of all of their lives, especially Alicia’s, and she smiled down at the young boy she loved as much as if he was her own flesh and blood. With her daughter and her husband living mostly at Eden, Malcolm had been a welcome addition to Alicia’s lonely life.
“You have a new brother, Malcolm,” she said, running a hand over his bristly hair. “What do you think about that?”
Malcolm shrugged as he looked into the warm chamber where Gaithlin and Christian were giggling softly over the infant. “He’s just a bairn,” he sniffed. “I canna play wif’ him.”
Alicia and Quinton laughed softly. “You will be able to when he gets a little older,” Alicia told him. “Would you like to go in and see him?”
Malcolm shook his head, frowning. “I’m hungry.”
Quinton put his hand on the lad’s shoulder and turned him around for the stairs that led down to the great hall below. “Come along, young man,” he said. “Let us find you something to fill that bottomless stomach of yours. I believe Jasper is down in the hall right now, is he not?”
Malcolm nodded eagerly. “He’s fixin’ weapons. He told me I could help.”
“Then we shall go down and see him.”
Malcolm gladly went with Quinton, a man he truly adored. Jasper, after having spent several weeks in the vault of Eden, had eventually come to terms with the new order of Eden and Winding Cross, and Christian had eventually released him. The man was a knight, pure and simple, and as always did as he was told. If the Demon told him to accept the peace with Winding Cross, then he would. He was still rather edgy but, oddly enough, he and Gaithlin had formed a bond because she refused to let the man intimidate her and Jasper, in his own way, had learned to respect that. He was back to being one of the family, and Christian and Quinton were grateful.
Alicia ended up following Malcolm and Quinton down into the hall, leaving Gaithlin and Christian alone with the baby. The infant had stopped nursing and now lay peacefully sleeping against his mother’s chest. Christian continued to gently stroke the baby’s back, touching him as if to confirm that his son had truly arrived. He still could hardly believe it.
“He has the shape of my father’s head,” he murmured, touching the baby’s skull. “Soft and egg-shaped.”
Gaithlin giggled. “And he has my father’s nose,” she said. “I wonder what your father would say when he looked at his new grandson and saw his old adversary’s nose squarely on his face?”
Christian snorted. “He would rage for the first five minutes,” he said, “and then he would pick the baby up and tell him how wonderful he was and what greatness he expected from him.”
“Did he do that to you?”
Christian nodded firmly. “Indeed he did. Notice that I listened to him.”
Gaithlin reached out, touching his cheek sweetly. “Of course you did,” she murmured. “Little Alexander will be a fitting legacy for his great father.”
Christian looked at the baby cradled against his wife’s breast. “You realize that people will call him the Demon’s Spawn or something like that,” he sighed. “My son will have quite a reputation to live up to.”
Gaithlin gazed down at the infant slumbering so peacefully. “He is the link of two great houses,” she whispered. “He is the culmination of all that is great and wonderful from my family and from yours. Mayhap, in a sense, he is his own legacy, an example of the new future between Winding Cross and Eden.”
Christian nodded, laying his head against Gaithlin’s shoulder, looking his son in the face. It was such a handsome little face. Then he lifted his head to kiss his wife on the lips, feeling the same surge of passion and adoration he had felt from the very first kiss they shared. More than ever, she was everything to him, a love that could only be dreamt of in men’s wildest dreams.
“We are the future,” he murmured, kissing her again. “And I have never in my life looked forward to anything more than I look forward to spending my life with you.”
Gaithlin’s hand was on his cheek as he nuzzled her face, her neck. She closed her eyes, savoring the love that they shared. It was as much a part of her as the blood that flowed through her veins. When his mouth came close to hers, she kissed him deeply.
“I love you, my Demon.”
“And I love you, enemy wife.”
She grinned, losing herself in his tender kisses and sweet touches.
The baby slept right through it.
‘He is already greatness;
The shining sun of a thousand souls, the happy making of a thousand memories.
This child, this son, named for two great houses;
May he always know his legacy, and may he always be loved
Until the end.’
~ Chronicles of Christian St. John
Vl. XIII, p. XXI
* THE END *
Author Note
Christian and Gaithlin’s story is written in a more flourished style simply because that is the tone of Christian himself – a true Renaissance man, a powerful warrior as well as a man of deep feeling in his chronicles. He is a passionate man in so many ways and the style of the novel reflects that. His love for Gaithlin, and hers for him, ran deep. It was enough to unite two warring families, and enough to start a peaceful legacy all their own. Did you recognize the name of the author who wrote the Foreword? Dr. Bud Dietrich, colleague of Dr. Rory Osgrove of THE CRUSADER and KINGDOM COME. Although this book is not affiliated with either of those novels, Dr. Dietrich is an expert on all things Medieval, even Christian St. John.
VALIANT CHAOS
A Medieval Historical Romance
(formerly titled FOR LOVE AND HONOR)
By Kathryn Le Veque
Author’s Foreword
This novel was originally titled FOR LOVE AND HONOR. I want to make that very clear for those readers who may have read that novel before. Before you groan and say “I already read this book! What’s she doing publishing this with a different title?!”, hear me out—when I originally wrote the novel, it was an ‘out of the box’ romance with what I considered to be a twist ending. However, many readers didn’t feel that way – they thought it was, to put it mildly, a disappointing ending. In the original novel, the heroine did not end up with the hero.
Now, there are a lot of reasons for that – she came from a very upper-class family and the hero is basically a foot soldier. They had a torrid, passionate relationship that was just never meant to last. Things like that never are. In the end, she had to choose between love or honor, and she chose honor because she spends the entire novel basically behaving like a love-struck girl. She does some dumb things, but who hasn’t when they’ve been in love? In the end, she really had no choice and ended up with someone else.
Readers either loved it or hated it. I have 49 published novels, and this was the only novel that received such polarizing reviews – either five star or one star. Eventually, it was split down the middle, which gave the book a terrible rating. Therefore, I have decided to do something that, under normal circumstances, I would never do – I have decided to re-write the ending so that readers might get their warm and fuzzy HEA.
It was a tough decision because the #1 rule in writing – at least in my writing – is never let the readers tell you what, or how, to write, but in this case, I could understand their point. I took a risk and it only mildly paid off. So, I pulled FOR LOVE AND HONOR off sale and let it sit for about a year while I debated what to do. I ultimately decided to re-write the ending because I believe that in the long run, it’s the right thing to do. Readers love out of the box novels but in my experience, don’t screw with their HEA’s. So… I fixed it. I love my readers too much not to do them justice – plus, it’s a good story that deserved to be heard.
; Therefore, if you’re one of the readers who read FOR LOVE AND HONOR prior to the ending change, I sincerely hope you enjoy the new ending. Why have I retitled the book? Because it IS a different book now with the different ending. FOR LOVE AND HONOR no longer exists; it’s been changed. It is a different novel and one I have entitled VALIANT CHAOS, because certainly what Avalyn and Brogan go through is, indeed, valiant and it IS chaos. Readers really needed to know that what these two go through pans out for them in the end. Now, it does. I am, however, including the original ending just as a bonus chapter so those of you who are reading it fresh can see what all the fuss was about. Makes for an interesting comparison!
I sincerely hope you enjoy Avalyn and Brogan’s story. Much love to you all!
Out of Chaos, God made a world,
And out of high passions, comes a people.
—Lord Byron, 1788 – 1824, British Poet
CHAPTER ONE
Year of Our Lord 1469
The Month of April
England
It was a lovely night to die.
He stood a moment, inhaling the gentle night air, feeling the caress of the blooming flora. The black waters of the River Thames ran at his feet, the gentle glide of a liquid caress. It was a soothing sound. He wondered if the water would feel soothing as it entered his lungs, choking off his life and stopping his heart. He’d been wondering that for days. Now the time was upon him to find out.
He’d lived a full life. He had achieved more than he ever thought possible, coming from a small berg in Germania after his father died and his mother had married an English merchant. He never thought that his voluntary admission into King Henry’s army at the young age of fourteen would have led him to the post he currently held. He was foreign-born, conventionally uneducated, yet he found himself guarding the current king and Henry’s bitter rival, Edward. A post reserved for the most noble of knights had found a common soldier to occupy it. It had been an amazing ascent. His father would have been proud.
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