It was actually super harsh. Me as a sexy intergalactic assassin? Yes, fans were buying the tickets. The opening weekend was sold out, both internationally and domestically. But I was afraid a lot of the hoopla beyond my current notoriety was the potential opportunity to see Holliewood fall flat on her unsexy ass.
“It’s a departure from everything you’ve done before. It’s a risk, but a calculated one I’m sure you and Olivia have considered. I’ve seen a lot of facets to your roles leading up to this one. I’ve seen how tough you can be. Pure steel at the press conference. I imagine there’s not much, given your talent and personality, that you can’t do if you set your mind to it.”
“My life has certainly given me personal experiences to draw upon to use in my acting.”
“You’ve been through a lot. Stuff that would’ve defeated a weaker person.” Max angled his head. “I think you’re stronger than you realize.”
“That’s what Fanny says, but she loves me. She has to say those things.”
“Maybe in time you’ll discover we’re both right.”
Chapter Twelve
* * *
“What did you do with your time off?” I wanted to change the subject. Get off the topic of me and whether I was weak or strong.
“Besides getting stuck in traffic?” he asked, glancing down and removing his napkin from his lap.
“You did leave at a busy time.”
“Is it ever not busy on an LA freeway?” Setting the napkin on the table, he lifted his gaze, and his eyes met mine once more.
“I forget you’re not from around here. The answer is no. Even at the oddest times of the night, the streets can be inexplicably congested. Were you able to do anything for fun?”
“I went swimming.” The blue in his eyes brightened, reminding me of the sun on the surface of the pool.
Had that been just this morning? It seemed ages ago. The world seemed to be a different place now because of him.
“Where? Here?” My brow creased as I tried to recall if I’d seen him in the pool.
“The ocean. Between Venice Beach and Santa Monica.”
“That’s some distance, even just to walk.”
“I swam farther in San Diego.”
“Isn’t it dangerous?” I swallowed. “Rip currents. Sharks. That kind of thing.”
“I don’t swim where the undertow is bad. And I’ve never seen a shark.”
“Just because you can’t see something dangerous doesn’t mean it’s not there, lurking beneath the surface.”
“It’s beautiful in the ocean. The reward is worth the risk.” His gaze suddenly intensified, becoming piercingly direct. “What are you afraid of, Hollie?”
Were we still talking about swimming, or had we segued into us?
“I’m afraid of a lot of things. I know far too well the things that could go wrong.” In the unpredictable waters of the ocean, and with relationships. I dropped my chin, whispering, “My mother drowned. Her parents too. Their car was swept away during a flash flood on a rural road between the ocean and the land on Vancouver Island.”
“I didn’t remember the details of your grandparents being in your bio. I’m sorry.”
Max’s voice was gentle, and I lifted my chin to see his expression mirrored his tone. He stretched out his hand. I reached for it, the inner clamor quieting when he curled his fingers around mine.
“So, you don’t like the ocean?”
“I love it,” I stated emphatically. “The limitless stretch of blue. The sunsets and sunrises. The sound of the water when it meets the shore, sometimes hissing softly as if exhaling a breath after a long journey, sometimes crashing into the sand as if in a hurry to reach it. But I love it, knowing its capricious nature and giving it the respect it’s due.”
“I’d like you to come swimming with me sometime.”
“Maybe.” I withdrew my hand and changed the subject, directing him to safer topics, and he let me. “What other things do you like to do with your free time?”
“I work pretty hard. I don’t get a lot of free time.”
“I guess you don’t.”
“Don’t feel bad for me. I like my job. Some assignments much more than others.” His lips curved, and so did mine. “And you work pretty damn hard too.”
I nodded, and the exhaustion from my day sneaked up on me. I yawned, barely quick enough to get my hand up to cover my mouth.
“I wondered when it would hit you.”
“What?”
“The food. The planning with Olivia. The hours perched on a foot-wide pedestal. The workout that left you trembling. The very little sleep you got before you started this day.”
“How—”
“I sleep just on the other side of the door. I can see the light. Hear you tossing and turning until near dawn.”
“You don’t miss much.”
“Not when it comes to you.” Max pushed back from the table and stood, slanting his eyes toward the bedroom. “You should get some rest.” His voice and his expression changed, the gentle retreating behind the seemingly unbreakable mask. “You have another big day tomorrow.”
“You’re right.”
As I stood, I stumbled, tripping on the hem of my robe. He caught me, his touch both steadying and comforting. Even through the thick robe, his hands on my upper arms were warm.
“Got you again.” A grin cracked his mask.
“We do seem to be developing a pattern.” I smiled softly back.
He released my arms and lifted one hand to trace my curved lips with his thumb. I shivered, and his eyes darkened.
“You should get to bed.” He dropped his hand, but I stayed put.
“But we didn’t even get to talk about your salary. We decided things in a rush back from Ocean Beach. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“You’re not taking advantage. What we agreed to is just enough. I mean, it’s fair. Market rate for round-the-clock protection. But even if it weren’t, I would do it. I want you safe, Hollie. This is more than just a job to me. From the beginning, it’s been more. You believe me, don’t you?” His voice thick with sincerity, he narrowed his eyes as they searched mine.
“I believe you,” I said, and relief brightened his gaze. “But . . .”
“We can revisit everything if you want to after your birthday.”
“I want you to come with me,” I blurted out. “To my party in OB as a friend. Not as my bodyguard.”
“I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I can’t keep you safe as a friend.”
“It’s a private party at the Deck Bar. They have their own security. Don’t say no. Would you at least think about it?”
“A private party?”
I nodded.
“No media?”
I shook my head. “Just Fanny and Ash, the Dirt Dogs, and the rest of my OB friends. Oh, and Ernie too.”
“Yes, I’d like to go. To be with you as a friend. But until the party in public, I’m not a friend or anything else. I’m your bodyguard, nothing more.” A shadow passed over his face. “Remember that it’s not what I want. But it’s the way it has to be until you turn eighteen.”
“Good.” I wanted to jump up and down, but I kept it dignified. He’d agreed and was going. “Great.”
I smiled, and Max did too. I wanted to trace his lips the way he’d traced mine. Feeling brave, I moved toward him, but when he took a step back, I stopped.
“Bed, Hollie.” Serious now, he crossed his arms over his chest and pointed with his head.
I obeyed, but I did it with a smile on my mouth and my heart light. Maximillian Cash had seemed immovable. But I knew better now.
Chapter Thirteen
* * *
I tossed the robe over the back of the high-backed chair beside the bed, naked in the lamplight, but I wasn’t cold. My thoughts on the man on the other side of the closed door, I remembered how hot it had been being fed by his hand.
My body strung tight like a drawn bow, I was no long
er the least bit tired. I hadn’t yawned a single time, though I had moisturized my skin, flossed and brushed my teeth, the usual things I did to get ready for bed.
Snagging the pajama top I had laid out on top of the comforter, I drew it over my head. As it slid into place, my skin tingled and I shivered, wondering what it would be like to have Max’s hands sliding over my skin instead.
Stop it, Hollie. I gave myself an internal shake. Thoughts like those will keep you awake all night.
As I grabbed the pajama shorts and pulled them on, my mind betrayed me. Recalling Max tracing my lips, I began to throb. I curled my fingers into my palms, refusing to allow my hands to wander to where that throb was centered.
I stared at the bed. The sheets’ high thread count and the firm mattress beckoned. But I knew before I took a step toward it that I was destined for yet another restless night.
Maybe I would get lucky. Maybe thoughts of Max would be more powerful than the other ones. If I was going to toss and turn, I preferred it to be because of him and not my stepfather.
My cell suddenly rang from the nightstand where I had laid it earlier to charge.
Reaching for it, I didn’t bother checking the caller ID. This was a brand-new number. No one outside my inner circle had it. “Hello?”
“Hollie.”
His voice made my heart stutter. The events the last time I’d heard him speak my name rushed to the front of my mind.
“Da—” My throat closed as numbing cold and scalding heat washed shame over me. “Samuel.” My chest squeezed so tight, I could barely breathe. “How . . . how did you get this number?”
“That’s not important.”
Wasn’t it? Reeling, I scrambled to think who might have given it to him, and stumbled backward toward the bed.
“You need to stop this charade, my dear.”
“What charade?” I whispered. The back of my wobbling legs slammed into the mattress. I leaned heavily into it.
“Pretending to be a victim. The lies you’re telling about me. They hurt, Hollie-doll.”
“You. Hurt. Me,” I said, a strained pause between each word.
“We can sally accusations back and forth, but it’s a waste of my time, and that isn’t why I called.”
“Why?” I swallowed and gripped my cell tighter. “Why call me now?”
Not because he missed me. Not because he cared. Had my entire childhood been one long extended lie?
“I returned control of your bank accounts to you. Before your birthday. I didn’t do that out of the goodness of my heart, my dear.”
I knew he hadn’t. Hart believed Samuel was being proactive because he was afraid. But I knew better. Samuel Lesowski wasn’t afraid of anything.
“You have your money. You can manage your career from now on, if you like. It matters not to me anymore whether you succeed or fail.”
“I’m well aware that you have absolutely zero respect or concern for my well-being.”
My eyes burned. I told myself I didn’t care. That his callousness didn’t sting like acid inside raw wounds, but it did. There remained too much of the little girl who coveted his approval.
“Call off the lawsuit.”
“No.” I locked my muscles. The hammer was poised, my head on the anvil. My heart raced, anticipating the force of his blow.
“You will, Hollie-doll. I expect you to make a public statement tomorrow. Tell everyone you made a mistake. Retract every foul accusation.”
“Or what?” Defying him made me light-headed. The room spun as I braced.
“I’m not in the habit of making threats.”
“I know you’re not.” It was safer to run and hide than to face his wrath.
“You refuse?”
I pulled in a shaky breath. “Yes.”
“You made the wrong choice. I will make your life a living hell. You won’t be able to escape it. Every closed door slammed in your face will be because of me. Every step you take will be an uphill battle. You will writhe, twist, and burn on the spit I will turn over a blazing fire. You will remember this conversation. You’ll beg for my mercy. But you won’t get it.”
The dial tone tolled in my ear. I dropped my cell as if it were a coal, scalding hot.
I must have made some plaintive noise in my throat. Before I made it halfway across the room, the door slid back, and Max was there. His eyes widened as he looked at me.
“Hollie, what the fuck?” He reached me just before my legs went out from under me.
“Please.” I tried to tell him what I needed, but my mind went blank.
He lifted me into his arms. “I heard you talking to someone.”
I was shaking so badly, I couldn’t even manage to get my arms around his neck. My hands slipped, slithering on their way downward over the sculpted smooth contours of his bare chest. As he carried me to the bed, my arms hung limp and useless at my sides.
“Who was it? Who upset you?” His expression promised scary retribution if I gave him a name.
“I don’t want you involved.” I shook my head as he sat me down gently. Over the edge of the bed, my feet dangled inches above the floor.
“Samuel?” Max gathered my cold hands in his warm grip. His eyes narrowed on my face.
I nodded.
“He threaten you?”
“He doesn’t threaten.”
“Like hell he doesn’t.”
Max’s voice was hard enough to pierce through the mind-fogging weight bearing down on me. Strangely, it seemed as though he knew from experience how my stepfather operated. But that was impossible. More likely, he just had experience with someone equally as awful.
“We need to call the authorities. Hart. Olivia.”
“No.”
“Hollie,” he said firmly, his blond hair shadowing his piercing blue eyes. “They need to know. This isn’t right.”
“Not tonight. It’s late. It won’t change anything anyway. He’ll do what he wants to do while the rest of us suffer the consequences. Just stay. Stay with me right now. Hold me.”
I didn’t even pretend to be strong anymore.
“Please.”
Chapter Fourteen
* * *
It was the best night of my life and the worst.
Samuel made it the worst.
Max made it the best. The very best.
He held me on the bed. I was in my pajamas, and he wore only a charcoal-gray pair of boxer briefs. But there was nothing sexual about the embrace, and he didn’t push me to talk. He was just there for me when I needed someone the most.
With my cheek resting against his hard chest, he cradled me in the crook of his arm and stroked my back until my troubled thoughts finally settled. His heartbeat a metronome in my ear, I eventually drifted off.
• • •
I woke to light streaming in my window, and the same steady beat in my ear. My lips lifted as I realized Max still held me.
My protector. My comforter. My possibility.
In his strong arms, I’d slept restfully until the morning. It had been a long time since that had happened. Since that night in the library, certainly.
“You awake?” His voice vibrated in his chest and rumbled into my ear.
“Yes.” I lifted my head to find him watching me, his brow creased in thoughtful concern. “Did you sleep any?”
“Don’t worry about me.”
“You didn’t.” I frowned at his non-answer. “I shouldn’t have asked you to stay.”
“It was an honor to guard you when your defenses were down.” His eyes were twin searchlights, casting me in a warm blue glow. “Best night of my life holding you.”
I couldn’t fathom it, but searching his gaze, I found no hint of a lie. “Same for me. I slept soundly and peacefully being held by you.”
Max nodded as if I’d confirmed something he already knew. “You went out around midnight and stayed out.”
“You should have gone to your own bed to sleep.”
“I didn’t w
ant to wake you. I can hear you in here, shug. More than just the restlessness. You cry out.” He shook his head. “If I can help you in any way, I’m going to do it. You just need to ask.”
“You’re too good to me.”
“Don’t put me on some pedestal. It’s not all benevolence on my part.”
His hand resumed the gentle stroking that had sent me off to sleep. This morning it felt more like a caress. My body tightened, awakening beneath his hand.
“Your hair’s silk,” he said softly. “Your skin’s satin. Your body is warmth and curves. You feel like an unimaginable dream in my arms.”
“More like a nightmare. I bet you’re tired, and your arms are sore.”
“Sometimes in giving, you get the greater gift.”
“Oh, Max.” His words chased away my reservations. Why be anything but honest with him? “Keep saying things like that, and you’re going to end up with me clinging to you.”
“Promise?” His eyes danced to his teasing tune.
“You must not realize what you’re getting into with me.”
Didn’t he see how much baggage I had? How desperate I was for someone to help me carry it? Desperation could easily become annoying.
“I know enough. That a little shoulder soreness pales in comparison with the privilege of being able to watch you while you sleep. You have the face of an angel and the body of a siren. Protecting you gives my life a purpose I can be proud of.”
“Okay. Fair warning, I’m going to cling.”
I dropped my cheek to his chest, threaded my arms around his rock-hard waist, and clung.
Inhaling his sandalwood-and-lemon scent, I became dizzy on the feel and the heat of him. I was tempted to throw all caution away.
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him everything. How accustomed I was to falling short of expectations, and why. How deeply Samuel’s words had cut into my self-esteem over the years. How no one had ever gotten as close to me as Max had. How no man had ever said anything like he had.
But I was afraid. After years of criticism, I couldn’t shake the belief that maybe Samuel was right about me.
(Complete Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances #1-5) Page 95