Soon he would see how the two things together would make their lives complete.
He had to.
She was counting on it.
If she had thought herself lost to him before, she was now trapped amid a maze with Vin at its center.
Chapter 26
If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.
~ Benjamin Franklin
Vin woke to an empty bed.
For a long while, he just lay there replaying the long night making love to Moira again and again as if there were no tomorrow. Though his last sexual encounter had been too long before to recall, he didn’t think he’d ever spent such a passionate evening. The anger and frustration from wanting what he could not have fell to the wayside. He felt released from the torment, returned to the land of the living. Joy and the ability to simply enjoy had seeped back into him.
He had been on the brink of believing such a thing impossible, but last night changed all that.
Nevertheless, he wasn’t entirely certain it had been the right thing to do. He felt guilt, not only for wanting Moira and taking her virginity, but for risking their friendship to slake his lust. Friends and lovers, Richard said. Was it possible to be both? Would his guilt even allow him to continue with this affair indefinitely? Was it but a single night of bliss never to be indulged in once more? He certainly hoped not. He felt he had only scratched the surface of what he desired from her. He had a mind to take her again and again for as long as it pleased them both.
It would be a delicate balance, keeping their friendship while sharing a bed, but he couldn’t be sorry for it. He felt as if he’d been given new life.
Flinging back the bedcovers, he got up and stretched feeling more rested and energized than he ever had. He moved through his morning exercises as usual but found concentrating on his meditation difficult as memories of the previous night intruded. By God but Moira had looked so beautiful the night before, magnificent when her pleasure had come on her. When she had straddled his torso at one point and flung her thick curls over her shoulder with a sensual smile, he’d been struck speechless at the sight. His hands trembled even now at the thought of reaching up and cupping her glorious breasts in his hands, feeling the silken skin of her hips when he held her to him.
He’d even thought in that moment that it would be so easy to let the love of their friendship fall into a romantic love. In the morning’s light, it was easier to remember that it was lust alone which had driven him to her bed.
Shuddering, Vin felt the desire flowing through him once more. He should be completely wrung dry after their hours and hours of erotic play, but he only felt anticipation for their next meeting. Simply thinking of the other things he could do to her caused a stirring where logically there should be no life remaining.
He wondered if Moira had any plans for her day…
* * *
“Where are you off to?”
Moira looked up from pulling on her gloves to find Vin descending the stairs and her heart leaped in pleasure. He looked so relaxed this morning, almost cheerful. It was a look she hadn’t seen on his face since his return and she was pleased to have played a part in providing it.
Of course, he provided every reason for her to smile this morning as well. Their passionate love play lasted long into the night as he took her repeatedly to heights she never imagined possible. He touched her and caressed her so tenderly, so completely, she’d felt loved and wanted in a way she longed for her entire life. It almost felt like a dream in the morning light. She wanted to find a way to touch him to reassure herself that it been real. She wanted to feel his lips against hers once more. A million times more.
It was a perfect night…and an imperfect one because what Vin had done was something he thought inspired only by lust. Not that she did not feel the lust as well. She did! Nevertheless, there were moments when she felt such poignancy it seemed as if her heart were crying out painfully in her chest from wanting not only his body but his heart as well.
Still, Moira loved to see the light and humor dancing in Vin’s eyes as it hadn’t since his return. She wished there was a way to bring him such joy that laughter would burst freely from him as it once did. She missed the lightheartedness that once filled him and her own heart cried with pain for him. Seeing even this bit of joviality brought her hope.
And love flowed through her.
The urge to tell him of her feelings was hard to suppress, even now she wanted to say it but dared not lest that gladdened smile he wore this morning slipped away.
“Good morning,” she only offered, smiling up at him. “Did you sleep well?”
“I did and you?”
“No. In truth, I hardly slept at all,” Moira slanted him a saucy look. “There was something poking me all night. It simply would not go away.”
Vin reached the bottom of the stairs and held out a hand to her, pulling her close when she took it. He brushed a casual kiss against her cheek and whispered in her ear. “Come back upstairs then and I’ll help you figure out what it was.”
She blushed deeply, refusing to meet his devilish gaze and denying the urge to take him up on his offer. “While I would love to, I’m afraid I have other commitments.”
“Aye, you look dressed to go out.” He studied her blue riding habit with its long skirt, white blouse and little jacket that just hugged the side of her breasts right where he wanted his hands to be. “Where are you off to again?”
A voice behind him had Vin rolling his eyes before she had a chance to offer.
“Moira darling, are we ready to be off then?”
He didn’t turn but instead stared down at her, his good mood lost to the winds. “Is this a joke? You’re riding with him? Today? After…?”
It wasn’t hard to read the irritation on Vin’s handsome face. His eyes, which were warm and sweet just moments ago, hardened into icy chips. Flushing furiously, Moira just backed away and plastered a pleasant smile on her lips. True enough, she had considered sending note to Harry canceling their ride, but Eve encouraged her not to. Though her friend wasn’t aware of Moira’s activities that night as yet, Eve’s reasoning was sound. Harry provided more opportunity to rouse Vin’s jealousy, to make him see he wanted her…in more than a physical sense.
If she wanted to prod him into a more possessive line of thought, he would have to realize she wasn’t his yet. That what they had shared wasn’t his for a lifetime but rather a moment. What better way to do that than to let Vin see that another man found her desirable as well?
“Harry and I ride together several mornings a week. Would you care to join us?”
“Yes, old chap,” Aylesbury drawled, sending Vin a challenging stare. “Join us, why don’t you?”
Vin could easily read the provocation in the marquis’ eyes. Of course, the fellow already took great pleasure in taunting him with his close relationship with Moira. Vin could see it in every leer and touch when Aylesbury was within arm’s reach of her. It was as if Aylesbury knew Vin’s thoughts, as if he could tell Vin wanted to pummel him for even touching Moira. Vin had the sudden urge to tell the fellow where she had spent her night, how she had spent it.
That would take the man’s cocky attitude down a notch, no doubt.
He would not, of course. He would never dream of hurting Moira or her reputation by telling tales, but why was she continuing to see the marquis after what had happened between them? How could she turn from his arms and walk into another’s?
An unreasonable anger welled up within Vin and he wondered at it. Moira had no commitments to him. She could do as she wished, and despite the previous night’s lovemaking, it seemed she wished to continue in her courtship with Aylesbury. What right did he have to deny her what she wanted when he wasn’t interested in marriage himself? She was his friend and hadn’t he just determined to keep her as such? All in all, her continuance in Aylesbury’s company was a good thing for him.
Still, it wouldn’t hurt to go along, to see them toge
ther and gauge for himself whether the marquis was good enough for her.
“I’d love to ride with you.” Vin looked down at his casual morning wear. “If you’ll allow me five minutes to ready myself?”
“Take your time.” Moira took in the set of his jaw and the furrow of his brow wondering what she’d gotten herself into. “We’ll be in the breakfast room when you’re ready.”
* * *
Moira knew the moment the two men jockeyed for position to help her onto her mount that the whole idea was a mistake. They were like a pair of small schoolboys shoving each other aside to be the first into the candy shop. She wondered if the shopkeepers found such behavior as annoying as she did. While the men glowered at each other, she irritably pulled Angel over to a mounting block and levered herself up onto the Frisian’s massive back without any help from either of them.
“Perhaps this is a bad idea,” she said, gaining their attention. “If you two can’t get along…”
In their mutual affront for such a thought, the pair stood united for a moment denying her charge and mounting their own horses. Satisfied, she let them flank her as they rode through the Carlton Terrace Gardens along a wide path that would hold them abreast. It was a cold morning but clear with only a few stray clouds dotting the morning sky. The tree branches were bared of their leaves and frost whitened the grass leaving the park barren, but to a Scotswoman like Moira, it held as much beauty as it would just a month or more hence.
Breathing in the crisp air, she could hardly believe it was February already. Vin had been home for two weeks and her world had toppled. Two weeks before, she had wanted nothing more than to marry Harry and flee England ahead of the storm Vin presented. She hadn’t wanted to wager her heart and future to chance thinking either one in Vin’s possession a foolhardy risk. She had wanted only to run far away from Vin.
Now she simply wanted to run away with Vin.
When had that happened? When had she started to believe in the possibility of gaining her heart’s desire? When she had given herself to him? Before?
Now she felt as if she must have all his love with no ‘or’ option acceptable. Moira would have her love even if she had to fight for him. Even if that fight was against Vin himself. It seemed she had finally discovered her Scots doggedness where Vin was concerned.
The thought brought a satisfied smile to her lips.
Looking to her right, she could easily read the irritation on Vin’s face, even in profile. He’d been angry with her for seeing Harry this morning after their night together. Or was it because his plans to lure her back to bed had been stymied? She wasn’t sure if it was jealousy or not but, wither way, it was a good start. His discontent was but another step along the road to satisfying her hopes.
She wondered that he even felt such. The events of the previous evening had limited her options. Clearly, he didn’t realize that she could never marry another after what they had done or, perhaps, he thought given her age, a husband wouldn’t expect purity from his bride. A wry smile twisted her lips. Given her fortune, she wouldn’t imagine most men would truly care what she’d done before taking her vows. It might be that Vin felt the same and didn’t consider the loss of her virginity a factor at all.
Then there was Harry. Moira turned to him and he flashed her his most roguish smile. She couldn’t help but smiling back. He was such a jolly fellow. Despite his familial responsibilities, he seemed to be without a care in the world. Or as he told Moira before, he was too blithe to be bothered. Would he care if she came into a marriage without her virginity intact? Perhaps not. As he had said, he wasn’t jealous man and he didn’t love her. But he was proud. He would make sure any children from the marriage were his beyond doubt. He wouldn’t stand for less. Moira rather thought Harry had it in him to be a very jealous man if he were ever to find the right woman to provoke it.
Glancing back and forth between them, Moira considered the two men, making comparisons. They were both handsome men, tall and strong, though obviously Moira preferred Vin’s darker eyes and just slightly lighter hair. With both, there was the comfort and compatibility of friendship. Though she had known Vin much longer, she felt she was well aware of both of their good qualities as well as their faults. Both had many. Harry was a cheerful sort as Vin had once been, but who was to say he wouldn’t be again? Harry made her laugh. Vin made her heart break.
What made a woman’s heart choose? It would have been so much easier to love Harry. They would have had a good life together, but perhaps they were too much alike. Harry didn’t excite Moira as Vin always had. She didn’t have the enigmatic feelings she did with Vin where she felt challenged or competitive or content all at once. They agreed on almost everything. Even years ago, she and Vin agreed on very little. They argued about everything from religion to which club was best to use when chipping from the rough. Most of the time, she felt like they did it on purpose, just to rib each other. They enjoyed it that much.
But Vin cared for her as well. All the letters they traded while he was in the guards let them know each other inside and out…with the exception of Vin’s stubborn refusal to see her love for him. He knew her beyond her likes and dislikes. He would do anything in his power to see her happy. Moira thought if she were to tell Vin that she honestly wanted Harry as her husband, he would take her arm and lead her down the aisle himself to see her happy.
Briefly Moira wondered, if she were to ask Vin to love her, if he would do that as well just to make her happy. Vin gave his all to those he cared for. He devoted himself with his whole heart for a friend. Would give endlessly of himself when asked or needed. It was one of his most endearing qualities and Moira knew, if he were to ever allow affection slide into love and marriage, it was a bond that would last forever.
Smiling at the thought, she caught Vin frowning once more and wondered at it. “You look awfully morose. Why don’t you think of happier thoughts?”
“Like what?” he scowled at her and then at Aylesbury. “That popinjay at your side gets on my nerves.”
Liking the sound of that, Moira grinned. “That’s impossible. Everyone adores Harry. He’s eminently likable.”
“I hate him.”
Moira glanced over to her other side to find Harry grinning like a lovesick fool. Dear friend, he was really going all out to push Vin over the edge, wasn’t he? Edging back over to Vin, Moira decided to ease his mind at least a tiny bit.
“There is a storm rolling in from the west,” she murmured and pointed to the dark cutting a line across the horizon. “There will be a storm this afternoon. Rain, wind, thunder. Why we’re likely to be stuck in the house all afternoon and if Eve and Francis don’t make it back from Colin and Ilona’s luncheon before then, we might end up being along all afternoon.”
Warm invitation danced mischievously in her cheeky grin and his eyes darkened at her bold innuendo. He’d like nothing better than to lose himself in her passionate depths through the rest of the day and long into the night. There were a thousand things he longed to do to her, with her still. How easily she transported him from anger to passion. One small distraction and it was as if his irritation over her attentions to the marquis never were. He hadn’t wanted to believe that Moira might still prefer the marquis over him despite their night together and was pleased she wanted to spend the afternoon in his company as he longed to do with her. Vin shot her a wicked smile with a waggle of his brows.
With a laugh, Moira tapped her crop to Angel’s flank and sent him into a canter, leaving Vin looking after her with longing, that is, until the clearing of a throat got his attention. He turned to find Aylesbury riding along beside him with a smirk on his face. Irritation flowed like a river once more and dislike curled Vin’s lip as the fellow spoke.
“You shouldn’t be so obvious, old chap. I saw it from the first, you know, but you’re fairly drooling now. It’s perhaps a little too obvious that you want her.”
Vin snorted. “And you don’t?”
“Of course
, I do. Any man would.”
They both looked after the lady in question. She had slowed to a walk and was ducking under a low hanging branch ahead of them. The sun spilled its rays down on her enveloping her in a radiant glow. The slim line of her back was ramrod straight in the saddle, her hands light on the reins. As she twisted to push a branch out of her way, they could see her contented smile and the voluptuous profile of her figure.
“Sometimes I wonder if she might have some padding in there to have breasts like that. Do you wonder the same?” Aylesbury grinned cockily at Vin, playing the part of the roué and ardent suitor but the look on Vin’s face caught his curiosity. There was little conjecture or inquisitiveness there, merely appreciation and desire. “It seems you have lost the look of wondering what is beneath her clothes. Before you undressed her with your eyes, now you have the look of a cat that’s gotten the cream, yes?” Aylesbury studied Vin, noting the clenching jaw, the hands tight on the reins. Good Lord, he had been only joking but sure enough he’d come on the truth. Harry looked back to Moira noting her cheerful air.
His breath caught as the truth of it hit him.
“My God, you’ve had her already, haven’t you?”
Vin’s heart jolted at his words. Aylesbury made it sound so crude, as if he’d rudely taken what he wanted without concern or caring. The marquis couldn’t imagine the intimate intensity of what they had shared, he made it sound only like new fodder for the gossip mill and Vin couldn’t have that. He would not risk bringing shame or disgrace down on her.
“Moira is a lady, Aylesbury. I’ll thank you to remember that before you think to sully her good name.”
“I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing,” Aylesbury protested, waiting for the jealousy to come, the anger that would tell him he’d been wrong in his feelings for Moira. None came beyond concern for a friend combined with an envy any man would feel. Vin had bedded a prize any red-blooded man would have wanted. But Aylesbury couldn’t be sad for it. It was what Moira wanted.
All You Could Ask For Page 108