“You dun' remember nothin', Rascal.”
“Her name's Freckles.” Screech's voice isn't annoyed – just as if he's stating a fact. He pats the silver wolf, prefacing, “And her name is Shadow.”
“Wha'? She's definitely an ivory.”
“Ivory and silver are two totally different things.” He rubs her ears and she licks his face appreciatively. I see that smile take over Screech again, and I feel it warm my heart. I'm unable to stop myself from grinning in return.
Todd notices this and his stormy gaze turns into a typhoon. “Okay, ya've had yar fun. Let her go, now.”
“She doesn't want to go, Todd,” I attempt to convince. “Just let it be.”
He's looking around, crazily, like horrified that he's losing control of a situation or something. I narrow my eyes slightly in confusion as he desperately grasps a random statement and plows on. “Well she dun' look like no shadow, aither!” Todd's voice is at least three tones higher than I remember it, and I have no idea why he's suddenly so taken to arguing with our eight year old.
“She moves like one, though.” Screech is almost grumbling beneath his breath.
“She moves like a wolf!”
“She moves like a shadow!”
“Well, don't matter, her'n name's Ivory.”
“Her name's Shadow.”
“You cain't just rename her!”
“I renamed your girlfriend, and look where it got me!”
“Girlfriend? Never in a million years, buddy. But s'okay – aI've seen that look in your eyes.”
“I'm eight!”
“Yeah, but it don't mean she's a bad looker.”
“Hey!” My voice is sharp and sudden, coming out of nowhere, and I almost step over Screech and the wolf in order to get in between the two, who are arguing, oblivious to the world and, of course, me, even though it does sort of seem to be me they're fighting over. “Stop it.” I stand there, glaring at the two of them, in the middle of which a red-eyed wolf is sitting, wagging her tail, tongue slightly out as she looks between her two masters. “There's no need to argue what her name is.” I instinctively put my hand in her coarse, warm hair and rub her, because contact is nice, and I feel kind of safer or something with her there. “It doesn't really matter, okay?”
For some reason, it does to them, though, and even though they stop fighting at my command, both of them look on the verge of snapping.
Ivory/Shadow stands then and walks towards Screech. For a moment, I'm terrified, because he's taking up the entire stair with no regard to her, and I'm positive she's going to misstep and topple, but she balances expertly on an itsy-bitsy ledge and walks beside Screech before urging him forward, gently, with her nose. I raise my eyebrows, impressed at her agility.
We continue walking in an order I don't approve of at all – Todd, me, Screech, and our new dog friend, who I'm waiting to dart away and disappear. I don't like how unbalanced this order is – if Todd slips, we're all going to come down. But I don't want him to be upset and grumpy because Screech is leading and I don't want to put the two of them together after that odd and heated argument, and putting Ivory/Shadow between them would cause for them both to fight for her affection and not watch where they're going, so I keep quiet and walking.
It's occurring to me how possessive they both really are of me, and I expect it from neither of them, honestly. After all, Todd did leave me completely and utterly alone, and he's the reason Screech and I even met – because I never really got up from there, never really wanted to leave that stupid little stump, not alone, anyway. And Screech doesn't seem like the possessive type, not after how mistrustful he's always been. I started trusting him a long time ago, and he seems to have loosened up around me, but is that really the same as trusting? I can't really tell. Perhaps he does. Perhaps he's completely attached at the hip to me, or perhaps he wouldn't care at all if I keeled and died right now. I don't know.
Well. He did save me from Madame Veneera. Perhaps that's... something. It was some sort of show of courage, but maybe it was also of loyalty, of trust. I glance backwards at him, and he's walking forward, up the stairs, his body swaying steeply in his action, a wolf strolling behind him. A smile sneaks its way onto my face. It's almost amusing how Todd was chomping at the bit to get ahead of Screech, but here's an actual wild animal just casually hiking behind, making no fuss, not getting into any argument. I almost laugh, but that would be kind of inappropriate, and then I'd have to explain what I was laughing about.
Suddenly, as I'm watching, Ivory/Shadow does her trick again. Slowly, using the bottom of her feet and her sharp claws, she weaves on the edge of the staircase, passed me, and begins to lead, nudging at Todd, who brushes her away with a hand.
“Does she do that a lot?” I say, a bit shakily, because I'm really not used to that.
“Mm?” He glances at the dog, who, unable to find comfort from Todd, is sliding her way around him and to me. “Oh, yeah. All the time.”
Her tail wags and she stares up at me in excited silence. I can't help but smile and pet her quickly and almost aggressively, making her cuddle against me in joy. It's truly remarkable to see an animal like this – a creature completely and utterly unaffected by the staircase. None of her childlike mentality seems to have been dimmed from the world around her, unlike Screech's which I'm watching fade.
“Is it safe?”
“She can do it, so it must be,” is his gruff reply. Ivory/Shadow licks my arm before sidling away and back to Screech, who welcomes her back with a hug. She licks his face and sniffs him and he sniffs her back, which makes her bark and jump away from him, wagging her tail in anticipation.
I laugh. “Don't get her too excited, Scree. Don't want her to lose her balance.”
“That's impossible,” Todd says from ahead of me. “She's like a bobble head. Can't throw our girl even if ya wanted to.”
It's silent for a long length. Screech puts obvious distance between Todd and I, and even from up ahead, I hear him, once again, practicing on his whistling. Ivory/Shadow responds back with a clipped howl that makes Todd cringe and groan.
“Let's stop for a while,” Todd decides. Since he's in the lead position in our group, the rest of us really have no choice.
He sits down and pats out a spot against his leg for me to sit. I look back at Screech, unsure, but the child is playing around with the shaggy wolf and hardly notices me, so with a shrug I settle down next to Todd where he indicated.
“Ain't it such a nice day?” He's whispering almost directly in my ear, petting my hair compassionately and lovingly as I attempt to get comfortable against the hard angles of his body. For some reason, his breath on my neck makes me shiver. I think I catch Screech glaring out of the corner of my eye, but I try to ignore it. I would've sat with him had he asked.
I look around at the day, as Todd indicated, but in no way does it appear “nice” or “not nice”. It's just the day, as it's always been.
Still, denying such would be rude. “Yeah. Beautiful.”
“This-y-ty?” Todd pulls out his waterskin and I lick my lips in excited anticipation, accepting the water quickly, before he can get a drink in himself. It's odd how thirsty I am so suddenly... just the thought of water is nearly driving me crazy as I twist the top off, eagerly.
“You should have some, Screech,” I say, lifting the water to my mouth.
He watches me with narrowed, confused eyes, sitting next to the mess of fluff and fur that is our new addition.
“I... don't think that's a good idea, Freckles.”
I roll my eyes as I drink. “Oh, come on, now. It's just some water.”
“So was Madame Veneera's.”
I shake my head, cluck my tongue at him, and pass the water back to Todd, who seems suddenly very relaxed. He wraps his arms around my waist, making me grin and sink against him.
Screech watches us with narrowed eyes. “Be careful. It could make you worse.”
I let out a light, high pitched laugh. �
��Make what worse?”
But the next I know, it's night time, and darkness had completely stolen the sky, turned it black. I can tell by the breathing and the loss of room next to me that it is Todd who lays by me on the staircase.
“Where's Screech?”
“A stair up, with Ivory.”
I nod, silently, knowing he can't see, but not wanting to verbally answer as my lethargic mind tries to catch up with what happened today since the afternoon, when I stopped to drink with Todd and Screech watched.
“You and Screech.” There's a long pause from right next to me, and then, he finally continues, “You guys are quite close, huh?”
“Yes.” I hesitate, looking towards him, though I cannot make out his outline. “Why?”
But that's the last thing he says before he drifts into a sleep which makes his breaths low and rumbling, leaving me alone in the night.
fourteen
I think I'm dreaming more than I am awake.
I remember bits and pieces of every day, but not much.
First day, Screech is walking with Shadow as always, Todd and I in the front. The staircase is getting wider, I think, or something, because somehow we're walking side-by-side.
Todd goes to touch my hand and I jerk away from him, give him a glare.
“The hell, Todd?” I ask, rather curtly. For some reason, I don't really like the thought of him touching me, despite the fact that I sat against him yesterday and the two of us lay near each other at night. There's just something... very odd... at the thought of him holding me. Something unnatural.
I feel Screech's eyes on us as we move.
“Sorry.” I know he's not looking backwards at Screech, but I feel as if that's where his mind is... like he's somehow also staring at him to see what he does. I chance a glance at the child and he's watching us, hand on the wolf's head, who's panting with a soft pink tongue and walking ceaselessly and happily by his side.
There's not much I remember from that day, only that we stopped multiple times, and each time I drank from what seemed like a bottomless pit of water. Once again, the small, lanky boy had his eyes on us.
Todd offered the water to him multiple times, but he refused. Even Shadow didn't want any. I couldn't help myself – the water tastes so good, nearly addictive, and even when I tell myself I shouldn't drink it all before we have a chance to refill, my fingers grasp the waterskin held out to me.
That night we set up a small area for all of us to sit and enjoy. This night, I lay my head against Shadow's belly, and Screech sleeps with the creature nestled in his lap, stroking her.
Todd's alone, and something about his gaze unsettles me, reminds me of other times on the staircase with the whole group, memories that somehow need to be forgotten but keep lingering, keep clinging.
I think I sleep, but I don't remember.
The next day is much the same. The staircase is growing and growing exponentially, nearly enough room for the three of us to walk comfortably. But then Shadow would be alone, so Screech walks behind us with her and I walk with Todd once again, standing apart from him.
Screech is playing fetch with her, with a bit of a staircase shaped like a piece of a bone, and he throws it over our heads and she tip-toes by us on the ledge to retrieve it before coming back. Todd's scolded him a few times about it, but he keeps doing it, because he apparently doesn't really care what Todd says, and I don't have a problem with it, because Shadow's happy.
“You okay with this set up?” Screech asks me once when we walk, and I blink, somehow forgetting what's wrong with it.
“I said you could play with Sh – ” I cut off, try again. “With the wolf. I don't mind.”
“No, I mean... the way we're walking.”
“What do you mean?”
“You two in the front, me and Shadow in the back.” His voice is almost... prompting.
“Yeah.” I hesitate slightly. “Why wouldn't I be?”
The child doesn't reply, but I feel as if it were an important question, at least to him.
The day begins and we're still walking in silence. A nasty wind picks up at our backs, and I want to pull into Todd multiple times. I think it's the hollering, the screaming of the people. Today's specialty is children, and they howl and cry out, a few of them naming torture items that they are supposedly receiving.
One of the voices, I swear to God, sounds just like a certain two year old who used to pretend she was falling in order to get attention.
“T-Todd,” I stutter, looking for confirmation. “D-doesn't that sound l-like...?”
He gives me a blank look, but also kind of compassionate, kind of worried.
“Like?”
“The b-baby...” I glance back at Screech, and he's walking with his arms wrapped around the canine. My arms itch to do the same, but she's back there and I don't want Todd's hands. I don't like the feeling of his skin against mine – too coarse, too strong, too commanding.
“Naw. It don't.” He looks confused, and now almost fearfully concerned. “It doesn't even remotely sound like her. Ya sure ya're okay?”
I nod, pale-faced, attempting to ignore what I hear as I turn back to the front. It's a few more minutes in silence, my arms wrapped around my own shoulders, my head working laboriously hard to block out the sound, replaying facts that I don't understand how I know in my head. Kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species are the taxonomies. A frog is an animalia, chordata, amphibia, anura. A human is an animalia, chordata, mammalia, primate, hominidae, homo, homo sapiens. A rose is a plantae, rosales, rosaceae, rosa. A wolf is animalia, chordata, mammalia, carnivora, canidae, canis, canis lup –
“Ya look thi-y-sty, Rasc,” drones his kind, country voice, and he shoves a soft brown waterskin at me that my hands accept automatically.
Next I know, his arms are wrapped around me, and I'm enjoying the contact, rubbing into him as if I'm the canis lupus that's behind us. I feel Screech's eyes on me, and for some reason, I know they're incredulous.
It's day three – or four, or five? – and the sky's just lit up or whatever. I realize I've never seen a sun here, not really, just always put the image into my own head.
“This planet,” I begin, staring up at the sky as we get ready to move for that day. “Nitrogen and oxygen atmosphere?”
“Uh,” is Todd's intelligent reply.
“Enough to sustain life,” I comment. “So where's the sun?”
“I don't think we have one,” Screech says, rising, patting Shadow's head as he does.
“Shut up,” I snap. Then, at the suddenly crestfallen look on his face, amend, “Sorry. That's just not possible. We have to have a sun.”
“No' for this planet,” Todd adds.
“But to survive... we have to.”
Neither of them really seem to be listening to me. I step in the way of their path, holding my hands out to block them. “Listen to me! This is important!”
Todd chuckles lightly, walking up and patting me on the head like I'm a child, a dog, something small and insignificant.
This is the last straw. My eyes get wide, and I glance at Screech who isn't even looking at us, and I explode, wildly, angrily, at the two people in front of me.
“You never listen to me, Abel!”
I'm racing down the school hallway. It's the end of the school day, but it's raining outside, the heavens relieving all the water in the universe down on the ground, so it seems like much later at night than it is. The hallway smells of wet sneakers and soaked grass, and the chill from the rain makes the inside of the already cool building at least 10 degrees more frigid. I hardly take a moment to throw on my jacket, which was not made to withstand rain, before I tug at the large, glass doors.
“Hey... shit... hey, stop! Wait up!”
He keeps calling my name among his cursing and other words, but for some reason, my mind can't process it, lets go of my title too quickly and easily for my mind to get a fix on.
Acne-faced, blue-eyed, bushy haired
Abel catches up with me, lanky legs always leagues longer than mine, dragging me away from the double doors, despite my fighting. “C'mon, babe.”
“Don't call me that.” I shove his hands out of mine, my voice harsh, low.
“Damn, sorry.” He releases me as I continue fighting and glare up at him, eyes narrowed and dark. “Listen, I care about your trans-gender-mutant-coding-biological... whatever.” He blinks, as if even the words he's given required too much effort for his mind to continue working for a moment. “I seriously do. It's great, okay?”
“I thought you didn't BS me.” I'm edging towards the door. “You know, I know you hate science, but I listen to you ramble about your stupid Shakespearean shit for hours on end.”
“Shakespeare is really good!” he says, defensively.
“And so is trans-genetic protein coding on mutants!”
“I don't even know what you just said.” He heaves a heavy sigh, crossing his arms and looking away.
“And I don't know anything about wherefores and how arts and thous and thys but I still listen to you.”
“I'm not a science person, okay?” Abel looks shocked at the fact that I seem to be unhappy with his horribly poor treatment of me and my ideas. “And I don't understand what you're talking about. If you could just explain – ”
“Robert Stewarts did,” I grumble.
Abel comes to life, spinning towards me with wide eyes, one hand out to push back the door I'm starting to open.
“What?”
“He understood me. And he said my ideas were good enough to get into a university. He thinks I'm going to get the scholarship.”
“The hell is wrong with you?” Now he's blocking my path, and my grip tightens on the cool, metal door handle. “I thought I told you to stay away from that ass.”
“And I thought I told you that you don't define or run my life.” I tug to open the door, rather than confront him, but Abel's stronger than me and he's a writer – he's got an arsenal of words he still has to throw at me, even if they aren't really that articulate.
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