“What?”
She stopped and said, “I’ll give you half an hour to get out.”
“What? I didn’t say I was leaving or that I even wanted to.”
She just stared at him. “Get. Out!”
“How do you know—”
“You want to know? Really?” She walked up to him and popped him in the shoulders. “Fine. I pretended. Did a pretty good job of it. Convinced myself—almost—you weren’t doing that to us, but I guess I have to stop pretending, don’t I?”
“I haven’t even told you—”
Allison walked to their sliding glass door and leaned against it. “Do most men really think their wives and girlfriends are that stupid? That we can’t see when your eyes are roaming over another woman? That we think your flirting is as innocent as you say? You think I missed that? The way you lingered around Tanya, laughed at her jokes? The way she batted her eyes at you like a teenager?”
“Al—”
“I know exactly what I’m supposed to do.” She stared at the fledgling apple tree they’ d planted two years back. “I’m supposed to fight for you. But I can’t, because I have been fighting for you, fighting for us for seven years. I gave you my best. Everything that I was. Obviously it wasn’t enough. So go, be with her.”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying.” Kyle threw his hands out to his sides. “I’m still with you. I don’t want us to be over, but I can’t deny that I’m also in love—”
“Save it!” Allison raised her palm.
Sarah’s voice cut in. “Allison?”
She blinked and looked over at Sarah jogging beside her.
“Sorry. Deep in thought.”
Sarah laughed, eyes full of light. If they lived closer, they might be friends. Maybe in eternity. Sarah motioned south with her thumb.
“Do you want to take one last look at Crescent Beach before we sneak around the tip?”
“Right. Yes.” Allison scanned the beach, the cliffs, the lighthouse out on the little island, and took a deep breath of the briny air. This meeting was one to remember. She didn’t know why exactly, but it was. Apparently Sarah knew it as well.
“Thank you.” Allison reached out and touched Sarah’s arm, and Sarah took Allison’s hand and gave it a quick squeeze.
“For what?”
“Having me lock this moment into my mind.”
“Very welcome.”
After getting around the point without their shoes touching the sea, they jogged the rest of the way back in silence. When they reached Haystack Rock, the three of them slowed.
“Allison, sorry to be forward, but can Sarah and I take you out for breakfast tomorrow morning?” He waggled his thumb toward town. “The Fireside Inn makes a mean ham and cheese omelet, and wars have been waged over the secret recipe for their french toast.”
Sarah slid in front of Micah. “You don’t have to pretend to laugh. Deep down he knows he’s not funny.”
At that, Allison did laugh.
“Is that a yes?” Micah asked.
“It is.”
Saturday, June 29th
I met a couple on the beach today, Micah and Sarah Taylor. If I believed in reincarnation, I would say I knew them in a previous life. I felt a connection. We’re having breakfast tomorrow, and I have a feeling that something is going on behind the scenes that I can’t see. Does that make any sense? Not really.
Probably as much sense as Richard’s idea about the dry bones, which I still have no idea how to speak to.
“Get the partnership done, Derrek!”
“A new man will come into my world and we’ll fall in love!”
“Get out of my mom’s life, debt!”
“Make working with Linda easy!”
The end. Amen. And time for bed.
Allison laughed at herself, but it was a bitter laugh. Richard wanted her to speak into existence those things that were not? There. She’d done it. Now what? Sit and wait till these things magically happened?
She peered out at the last flutters of moonlight on the ocean, and the view took her back to childhood vacations on the beach, in the woods, in the mountains. She turned back to the journal.
Days as a kid seem so long ago. The forts Parker and I used to build! I’d love to have pictures of those. And the battles, oh my, the wars we would wage. We were warriors. Covered our faces in mud, took my bows and arrows, and practiced with them for hours. And Parker, he had the champion of swords to beat all champions.
Allison laughed as the memories flooded in, this time a laugh of light.
“Look out!” Parker shouted as they tore through the woods, their kingdom, a mile from their home.
Allison spun and shot three arrows into the eyes of the twenty-feet-tall giant that rumbled toward them. Parker leaped aside as the giant reached them, then gave a mighty slice at the giant’s leg. Another three arrows launched. Another great carve from Parker’s sword into the giant’s other leg. Seconds later the giant crashed to the ground.
“We did it!” Parker shouted.
“Yes, but look behind you!” Allison cried.
More than thirty trolls with axes and hammers thundered toward them.
Allison and Parker looked at each other for a moment, then shouted, “For the kingdom!” and launched themselves at the trolls. Half an hour later, covered in mud and exhausted, with scrapes and torn T-shirts and shorts, they grinned at each other and laughed.
“Another mighty battle won!” Parker cried. “By who?” He grinned as they started their victory chant.
“By who, you ask?” Allison said as she strutted among the trees. “The greatest!”
“The greatest who?”
“The greatest warriors!”
“The greatest warriors what?”
“The greatest warriors the kingdom has ever known!”
They saluted each other, Allison with her bow, Parker with his sword, then cried in unison, “May it ever be so!”
They worked their way through the woods into their backyard, where their mom puttered in the vegetable garden and their dad read his paper.
Their mom looked up when she saw them and sighed. “Not again.”
“What?” Parker said.
Their mom rose slowly to her feet and walked over to them. “I’ve told you, Allison, you have to stop that. You’re not nine anymore. You’re twelve years old. You have to start acting like a lady.”
“I’m not a lady. I’m a warrior. So is Parker. We’re the mightiest warriors the kingdom has ever known.”
“No.” Their dad’s voice floated through his paper, still held in front of his face. “You’re not. You’re a princess. Princesses don’t fight. They princess.”
“No, Daddy, I—”
“Dad, not Daddy.” He brought down the paper. “And you tear your clothes, you get scraped up, and you’re bleeding. That’s not a princess. Your mom’s right. Grow up.”
He pulled the paper back in front of his face. Allison and Parker turned to their mom.
“You heard your father. When you were kids, the games you two played were fine. But you’re not kids anymore. You’re a young man, Parker, and you’re a young woman, Allison. Time to put away the make-believe games.”
Over time the reaches of their kingdom had expanded to beaches and campgrounds and mountains. But the scene with their mom and dad repeated itself in various forms over the next few years after that day, and she and Parker left their kingdom behind. Parker grew up. And then, so did she.
Allison sighed and shut the journal. Enough living in the past for one day. Time to look to the future. That was what existed now. But in that moment the make-believe past felt far more real.
thirty-nine
THE FRENCH TOAST WAS AS good as Micah had said, and over the course of the next hour, Allison was captured by him and Sarah. By the time the check came, Allison and the Taylors had talked about their spiritual lives, their histories, and their favorite movies. Before she could stop herself, Allison told them
about the journal, including Alister and Richard and Carl. She even told them about the words changing.
When she finished, they glanced at each other a few times before fixing their gaze back on Allison. A light seemed to flicker in their eyes, but they said nothing.
“This is the moment where you tell me it was nice to meet me, but I’m crazy and we’re never going to see each other again,” Allison said softly.
A serious glint returned to Micah’s eyes and he said, “No. The opposite. This is the part where I repeat the fact that I don’t believe in coincidence. Sarah and I were not planning on running to Crescent Beach yesterday morning, but yesterday evening Sarah said, ‘I don’t know why, so don’t ask me, but we have to run up to Crescent Beach in the morning,’ so we invited a friend to spend the night with us and be with the boys yesterday, and now here we are twenty-four hours later with you. Something’s going on that’s way bigger than the three of us.”
Allison stared at Micah, then Sarah, then back to Micah.
“You’re serious.”
“Deadly.” Micah pulled a credit card out of a zippered pocket on the inside of his running jacket and placed it on the bill. Their waiter snagged it a second later.
Micah steepled his fingers and said, “Now comes the part where you think I’m crazy.”
Allison locked eyes with his but didn’t respond.
“I think I might know what you do for a living, Allison.”
“Is that right?”
“Yes.” Micah grinned at Sarah, then looked back at Allison. “I think you’re an architect.”
Allison sat back in her chair. The intensity hadn’t left Micah’s eyes, even when he’d smiled a moment earlier. She looked at Sarah. Her expression communicated kindness. Understanding of how strange this must be. But she shared her husband’s intensity.
“How would you know that?”
“Would you believe me if I told you I got a picture in my mind just before Sarah and I started running toward you yesterday morning of a blonde woman huddled over a set of drawings?”
“I might, yes.”
“Thank you for believing me.”
The waiter brought back their receipt. Micah signed it and slipped his credit card back into his jacket, then looked at his watch. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but we should get going. But what’s the name of your firm, if we wanted to get in touch?”
“Wright Architecture. In Bellevue.”
“Are you a partner in the firm?”
Allison stared at him for five seconds before answering. “I don’t know.”
Micah peered at her. “I don’t want to pry— Actually I do.” He smiled, and in that moment Allison had a feeling she’d see them again, sooner rather than later.
Sarah bopped him playfully on the head. “No, you don’t want to pry. You want to respect Allison’s privacy.”
“I do?”
“Yes.” Sarah punched Micah in the arm. “You do.”
Micah laughed and said, “Allison, this morning was an absolute delight. As are you. I hope we meet again someday.”
When Allison got back to her room, she picked up the journal and glanced through her entry from the night before. Again, no change. But this time it was okay. Life was coming around.
forty
BY THE TIME ALLISON GOT home Tuesday night, her mom was asleep, but the next morning during breakfast, her mom waggled an envelope in front of her and said, “This is good news.”
“What is it?”
“A check from Parker. Four thousand dollars.”
“I see.” Allison tried to smile as reality hit her. Yes, Cannon Beach was wonderful. And she had more hope than when she’d left. But even with her increased pay from work, they would still be short, and she couldn’t pay the loan sharks with hope.
“What’s the matter?” Her mom frowned.
“Four thousand from Parker? Splendid, Mom. That means there’s only ten thousand to go. Due in nineteen days. No problem.”
“Don’t get sarcastic, Allison.” Her mom patted her hand. “I’m going to get paid for the weeks I worked last month, and you’re going to get your check in a couple weeks, and—”
“And we’ll still be short. And we’ll still have to pay for my mortgage and utilities and food and other bills.”
“I thought you just said things had changed in your mind when you were down at the beach. And I thought you got a bump in pay at work. And I thought you said you and Derrek were going to talk when you got back from the beach.”
Allison stared at her mom. Yes. She needed that reminder. “You’re right, Mom. You are. I’m going to get the partnership finalized and we are going to get free.”
When Allison walked into the office an hour later, she wore a big smile and greeted Ellie, who sat at the front desk and munched on a granola bar. Things were going to be different. New day. New start. New life.
“Good morning, Ellie.”
“Hi, Allison.”
There was an odd look in Ellie’s eyes. Pensive. Which wasn’t like her. Allison started for her office, but Ellie’s voice stopped her.
“Allison? Wait.” Ellie set down the granola bar and raised her hand.
Allison turned and looked at Ellie. “Yes?”
“Your office isn’t down there anymore.”
Allison walked over and set her briefcase on the reception desk.
“What do you mean my office isn’t down there anymore?”
Ellie turned red and suddenly had a serious interest in the papers on her desk. “Derrek and Linda, they moved you on Monday afternoon after work apparently.”
“Moved me?”
Ellie glanced up, then right back down to her papers. “You’re in a new office now.”
“They moved all my stuff to a new office while I was on vacation? Without asking? Are you kidding?”
Ellie shrugged. “I wondered about that.”
“Wondered what?”
“Well, Linda said she would text you and let you know ahead of time they were going to do it, but I’m guessing that based on your reaction, the text didn’t go through. Or maybe you haven’t checked your texts for a while.”
“I check them all the time.”
Another shrug from Ellie. “Maybe Linda didn’t want to spoil your vacation.”
“So you didn’t know about it?”
“No.” Ellie shuffled papers. “I didn’t hear anything about it. Yesterday morning I went to set your mail on your desk and your desk wasn’t there, so I asked Linda and she showed me where your new office is.”
“Did they explain why they were doing it?”
“Apparently since we’re growing we need to hire more people and we need more spaces, so they’re going to put two people in your old office. At least that’s what I’ve heard.”
Calm down, Allison. She needed to relax. Yes, it was incredibly disrespectful to move her office without any kind of warning, and to do it while she was gone? Unbelievable. Still, she wasn’t going to let this surprise ruin her new mind-set. Besides, there was probably a reasonable explanation. She’d left Friday at noon. Maybe they’d hired someone on Friday afternoon and had to make space immediately. But why move her?
“Where did they move me to?”
The look on Ellie’s face wasn’t encouraging. She pointed to the office to Allison’s left, three doors down. The smallest one. The only office in the company without windows.
Her stomach lurched and a soft cry sputtered out of her mouth. “What?”
Allison turned to Ellie, whose sad smile said she didn’t agree with what happened, but what could be done about it?
As she shuffled over the threshold into her new office, she found Dianne at a small desk inside, clacking away at her keyboard. Allison’s shoulders slumped as she stared at the back of Dianne’s head. This wasn’t happening.
Dianne slowly spun around and said, “Hi, Allison.” Her mouth turned down. “Welcome back.”
“I don’t understand.”
/>
“Makes two of us.”
“There’s barely room to turn around in here. It’s not a two-person office.”
“Nope. Not even close.”
“Did they give you a reason why they did this?”
“No, but do they have to?” Dianne’s eyes watered. “This is the perfect spot to put people that Linda doesn’t like.”
“When did they do it?”
“When I walked in yesterday morning, Linda was waiting for me. Gave me her phony smile and said in a phony cheerful voice that the company was bringing on new team members, so I was going to share an office with you for a while. Since we work on the same accounts, Linda said it would be a great move for everybody.”
“I don’t believe this.” Allison set her briefcase and purse down on a desk that was half the size of her old one. Her drafting table was considerably smaller as well. What were they thinking? She couldn’t work like this.
“Is Derrek in yet?”
“Not when I came in, but I’ve been here for a while.”
Allison picked up her phone and buzzed Ellie. “Is Derrek in yet?”
“No, not yet, Allison. Would you like me to let you know when he does come in?”
“Yes. Immediately. Thank you.”
Allison accomplished nothing for the next twenty minutes except to delete a few junk mails and try to put a lid on her simmering frustration.
Her phone buzzed. “Yes?”
“He just got here,” Ellie said.
“Thanks.”
Allison smoothed her suit, marched out of her new office, and covered the distance to Derrek’s office at a pace that would make speed walkers smile. He sat in his high-backed leather chair, laptop open, eyes narrowed. She knocked on his door three times hard, didn’t wait for an invitation to come in, and marched up to his desk. Derrek looked up and sat back.
“Good morning, Allison, welcome back. How was your time at the beach?”
“You moved my office.”
“Yes.” Derrek stood. “We did.”
“Without telling me. Without talking to me about it. That’s not acceptable.”
“I trust we didn’t break anything in the move. I told them to take a photo of how things were laid out on your desk so all your things were in the exact same place you had them, so when you returned you’d have no downtime. We did have to give you another desk, only a sliver smaller, but that’s due to having you and Dianne together.”
The Pages of Her Life Page 22