by Tiya Rayne
The noise in the background begins to grow faint as if she’s walking away from it. This was the moment, if Zora says no, I was determined to leave her alone. I’ll walk away and never bother her again.
“Luke,” The breathless way she says my name never gets old. “That’s not a good idea.”
“Why? We are just two adults hanging out as friends?”
So, I lied. I wasn’t taking no for an answer, but this is Zora.
She sighs on the other end of the phone. “What will your fiancée think?”
“What will your man think?”
Damn, I didn’t mean for it to come out so brusque. I try again.
“Look, you know I’m engaged and I know you are in a relationship. Neither one of us are willing to jeopardize that. I just want to hang out with my friend. A few hours in a diner wasn’t enough for me. Besides, soon you will be back in Chicago, and I’ll be in San Diego and we won’t see each other for another eight years or more.”
I smile as soon as I hear that sigh. The one she always does right before she relents to whatever demand I have.
“How long will we be gone?”
“2 or 3 hours, 4 tops.” My smile can probably be heard through the phone.
“Ok. What time should I meet you?”
“Give me about two hours. Can you meet me at the old fairgrounds?”
“Yeah I can do that.”
I can still hear the hesitation in her voice. I know she is still contemplating this meeting so I don’t want to give her time to change her mind.
“I’ll see you soon.” I reply then hang up.
I run a hand over my sweaty hair. This is happening. My heart was beating as fast as it was that first date with Zora. I wasn’t this nervous when I asked Lissa to marry me.
Lissa!
I was so side tracked about Zora I forgot the gamble I was playing with Melissa. I had no intentions of hurting her. I just needed to get Zora out of my mind. I want to get over Zora, seeing her didn’t help, talking to her didn’t change how I felt about her either. It was time for a drastic decision. I really hope Marshawn’s bullshit plan actually works.
I was late meeting Zora in our spot, but that was part of the plan. I was almost an hour late, but when I pulled up she was still there waiting on me. I pull the red Bugatti Veyron beside Zora’s Mercedes GLC. I’m not into flashy cars. The flashiest car I own was the Audi I smashed into the guard rail a week ago. However, when you’re famous and make the kind of money I make, no one has a problem loaning you an expensive car for a day. Zora is leaning against the hood of her car. She’s wearing black skinny jeans with an off the shoulders top. The bright yellow top making her dark skin stand out in beautiful contrast. Her upturned eyes are covered in huge black sunglasses. But the most beautiful thing on her is that wild hair. It stands out on her head like a puffy cloud. Thick, wide, and beautiful. The ends fall just below her shoulders. I really did love her hair like this. This hairstyle suits her so much better than her straight hair and makes her down right gorgeous. So gorgeous, that I almost reconsider my plans, but I swallow and stick to it even though my heart is nearly beating out of my chest at the sight of her. My palms are sweaty as I climb out the car on my fake phone call.
“Yeah, I told you money isn’t a problem.”
Zora takes her shades off her eyes and sticks them on top of head in the hair that I am dying to touch. Once again I get too distracted to keep up my farce and instead I imagine what my fingers would feel like getting lost in her glorious mane.
Zora quirks an eyebrow up at me and I remember what I’m supposed to do.
“Just make it happen.” I say to the fake conversation, then pull the phone away from my ear faking the ending of the call.
“Hey Zora!”
“Hi, Luke, you’re late.”
I give her a playful smile. “Sorry about that. I had to handle some business. When you’re the MVP of the Super Bowl, everybody wants your attention.”
Zora shakes her head with a smile. “I figured I’d cut you some slack, you did wait for me for two hours on prom night.” She laughs and I freeze at the memory.
I will never forget that night in April. We had no plans of going to prom, by that time school was like a war zone for us and we didn’t want anything to do with the mayhem. We were going to meet that night and have our own private prom. I wanted the night to be special, so I decorated the little school house as best I could. I sat there for two hours waiting on her to show up. I was on the verge of storming to her house, not caring about her father’s warnings about being on his property. She walked in and with one look at her face I knew my life was about to change forever. That was the night she told me we had made a baby. It was also the reason she was late getting to me. She had spent hours crying on her bathroom floor, scared at what would happen next. In the end, neither of us were prepared for what happened next.
The look on my face must have been alarming because Zora apologizes.
“Sorry, that was…..” She looks down shaking her head as if she couldn’t find the words to say.
I have to clear my voice before I speak again. That memory bringing up all the old pains.
“Don’t worry about it.”
Zora lifts her head and though her eyes still hold that sadness, she tries to grace me with her smile.
“Nice car.” She points to the Bugatti.
I know she was just trying to change the subject. For the sake of both of our feelings, I welcome the change.
I shrug back on the façade I was going for. “Yeah, this….this is just a little something I keep when I want to cruise. It’s one of many.”
She nods walking around the flashy car looking at it as if she’s checking it out to buy it. While she checks out the car, I watch her hips move in those jeans. I don’t care what race you are, if you’re a hot blooded male that enjoys females, you cannot pass up a chance to look at Zora’s ass. It should have its own holiday. Perfectly rounded, heart shaped, and it sits out deliciously. I’ve met models, celebrities, and reality TV stars that pay well for Zora’s natural attributes. Staring at the slow sway of her hips has my cock jumping against my zipper.
“I never pictured you as a Bugatti type of guy.” At her words I look up to find her eyes watching me over her shoulder with that playful smirk. She knows I was checking her out.
“Oh really, what type of guy did you see me as?” I fold my arms over my chest. The Audemars Piguet watch I bought on a whim after my first Super Bowl win, catches the sunlight and flashes across the car. It was the only expensive jewelry I owned, not counting my Super Bowl rings. Zora’s eyes drop to the watch on my wrist. Her brows meet in confusion before she turns her head away from me. What was that look about?
“Doesn’t matter. So, where are we going?” She turns back to me with a fake smile.
I spent years watching and studying Zora. I can pick out every nuance of her face. So I know when she’s really smiling, and when she’s not. I’ve never gotten a fake smile from Zora until today. I don’t like it.
“I have to meet with my realtor. I’m thinking about buying a house out this way, tired of visiting and staying in hotels. Thought it was time to purchase something of my own.” I head to the car, I’m half way to the front of the car to open her door for her when I remember Marshawn’s advice. The entire time I was with Zora she never had to open a door for herself if I was around. I was going against the grain by not doing it this time. I stop in my tracks and hit the key fob for her to climb in the car. I walk back to the driver’s side and climb in. It takes a second for her to get in the car beside me. She buckles up and I start the car and head towards my first stop.
*****
By the time we arrived at the restaurant I’d thrown my money in Zora’s face so much I was even tired of hearing about it. While at the mansion of a house I took her to see, every time the realtor mentioned something I could add to the house or some wonderful feature the massive house had, I would tell her how m
oney isn’t an option. The entire time Zora just walked silently beside me with a smirk on her face. I wasn’t sure what the smile meant. However, she never complained. When I went to the mall to look at more expensive unnecessary jewelry that I had no intensions of buying, she still didn’t complain. I even offered to buy her stuff, but she declined every time. I had no idea if Zora was passing this asinine test or failing it. My last try to figure out what Zora wanted was the restaurant. I took her to a new Asian Bistro place that was supposed to be really upscale and hard to get into. Again, my name helped pull strings.
A tall leggy blonde escorts us back to our private table. She stops in front of our table that’s set with a white table cloth and a small chandelier over the table.
“Would you like any wine to start your meal tonight?” The Blonde asks. Her name tag read Tiffani.
I take my seat and Zora pulls out her chair and takes one in front of me. Tiffani looks at me disappointedly.
“I’ll have a water and a bottle of your best wine.” I say, giving her my most charming smile.
“I’ll just have a water, Thank you!” Zora adds.
“Ok, your waiter will be with you in just a moment.” Tiffani gives me one last pointed look before she walks away leaving Zora and I alone at the table.
“This is nice, right?” I look around at the fancy decorations.
The chairs are black, and the tables are covered in white cloths. Miniature crystal chandeliers hang above every table. Mirrors cover the entire left side of the room reflecting the low light. Red accent walls with pictures of Japanese artwork adorn the walls.
“Yeah, the restaurant is nice.” Her voice still holds that bite of laughter as if she knew an inside joke she wasn’t going to let me in on.
I look over to her and she’s staring at me with that smirk on her face. I was about to ask her what’s with the look, when the waitress finally comes to the table.
She smiles prettily as she hands us our waters and pours both of us a glass of wine. She places the menu in front of us, it’s only one page long and there are no prices listed by the food.
“You can have whatever you want, Zora. Don’t worry about it, it’s on me. Money isn’t an issue.”
Zora drops the menu on the table, her playful smirk is gone.
“Can you give us a minute?” She turns and says to the waitress.
The waitress nods and walks off.
“Everything ok?”
“Alright,” Zora pushes her glass of water to the side and leans back in her seat. “You’ve had your fun. I get it, you wanted to bring me out on this date to what….to get even, to show me what I missed out on, to humiliate me? I mean help me out here, Luke, because I can’t go on with the joke if I don’t know what you’re trying to prove.”
“I’m not…”
She holds up her hand to stop me.
“Just save it. I haven’t changed that much, and neither have you. The expensive clothes, the flashy car. You don’t even like sports cars, you’d much rather drive a truck. And that house,” She rolls her eyes. “You wouldn’t be caught dead in that house. There is no yard, no space for your horses or dogs. No room to put that huge fence or acres for you to tend. And what about the huge porch you want to sit out on every morning to watch the sun rise? I know you, Luke. At first I was determined to go through with this disaster because, hey, I deserved it right? I mean the way I broke up with you was really shitty so this was just payback. “Let me show the ex- girlfriend how pathetic she is and what she let go.” I was going to give you your shot, but I can’t sit through this with you. So, congratulations. You won. I feel thoroughly chastised and put in my place. Don’t worry, I’ll catch an Uber home.” She stands to her feet to leave and I feel like complete shit.
“Zora wait!”
“No, Luke! I’m leaving….”
“Baby, sit down, please.” I don’t know if it was the pleading in my voice or the use of the name baby, but thank God she sits back down.
“I’m an ass.”
She huffs.
“You’re right, this isn’t me. The car is a loan. The house the realtor showed me, it made me nauseas even being in there. These clothes,” I look down at the button up Burberry shirt and Michael Kors dress pants. “They aren’t me either. I don’t really know what I was trying to accomplish today.” I run my hands through my hair, disheveling the gelled style. “Truth is, I don’t know how to act around you.”
That was the truth. I should be angry with her. The way she called it off and walked away from us because I wasn’t good enough, it should be enough for me to never want to see her again. Yet, I wanted us to be friends. I just wasn’t sure I could be her friend. I don’t know if I can have Zora in my life and not touch her and hold her and kiss her whenever I wanted to. Not after having her for those nine wonderful months. But, the thought of letting her go and not seeing her again makes my lungs close up and my head swim. I had all the reasons in the world to let this girl walk out of my life and go back where she came from, but I can’t. I’m a total wreck over this girl and I feel like a pathetic jack-ass.
“Luke, I hurt you.” Her voice is soft, I can hear the pain and regret in her words. She looks down at her hands as she speaks. “I will never be able to make up for that. What I said to you that day……” Her chocolate brown eyes look up at me and the brown in her eyes shimmer as unshed tears gather then spill over her lids. “It wasn’t fair to you.” She swipes at her wayward tears with one hand. “I was hurt, scared, and angry that night. I know that doesn’t absolve what I did. I truly am sorry.” She swipes away at another tear.
At that moment, all the anger I had bottled up for Zora vanished. It was absorbed in the fancy decorations and red paint of the Asian Bistro. I reach my hand across the table and touch Zora’s. I ignore that warming feeling that follows every time we touch. It’s good to see that some things do not change. Her eyes look up to me and for a moment, with those dark eyes on me and that warm feeling filling my body, I forget where I am. I’m swept up in a daze of what if’s. What if that night in May would have never happened? What if Zora would have kept our child? What if, right now, this date would have been our usual date night? Our kids would be at home with a sitter while we were out getting some alone time. When we were done at the restaurant we would go back to the house, crawl in the bed and make love until we were both too tired to move. Then, the next day we would be greeted early in the morning by our three excited kids. My head spins and my mouth goes dry at how bad I wanted that vision. I wanted it so bad I can almost make out the faces of our kids, feel their bodies as they crawl all over us, and smell their skin.
I shake the thought loose. We don’t have that future. It wasn’t meant for us. All we have is friendship, and I would rather have that than nothing at all. I remove my hand from Zora’s before I did or said something stupid.
“How about this.” I pop the clasp to my watch and pull it off, then place it in my pocket. I unbutton the fancy shirt revealing my plain white t-shirt underneath. I lean back in my chair, comfortable for the first time tonight. “Let’s start today over. Hey, Zora! You look beautiful today. I’ve been wanting to tell you that since I saw you leaning against the front of your car.”
She gives me that smile I love so much and I can’t help but admire how breathtaking she really is. Damn, time has been good to her.
“Thank you, Luke. You don’t look so bad yourself. Although I do miss your ball cap.”
I run a hand over my head again, feeling naked without my signature cap.
Smiling, I admit. “I’m really glad you agreed to hang out with me today.”
Zora smiles and nods in agreement, our eyes lock over the table and refuse to separate. In her eyes I can see her battling the same demons I am. I see her desire, her regret, and her longing. I see something else there. Guarded in her gaze, there is something else staring back at me that I can’t quite read. Whatever it is, I want to fix it. I want to take it away from her and make i
t better. When the tension between us gets to be too much, Zora finally looks away. She ducks her head and bites into her bottom lip.
“How about we look at this pretentious menu and see if we can find something to eat.”
I throw my head back and laugh.
“I hear this food is really good, and last time I checked, you loved Chinese food.”
“And you better believe that hasn’t changed. And since you brought me to this bougie over-priced place, I’m not holding back. This girl is starving.”
I laugh again. “Oh, so now I’M the one taking us to bougie over-priced places?”
This time she laughs and it’s music to my ears.
When the waitress comes back, Zora and I order. As always, we get something we both like so that we can share. We were so use to this, we didn’t even realize we had done it until our food came out and I dug in her plate for her Shrimp Lo Mein. We were digging happily into our food and having an enjoyable conversation when I asked the question that’s been on mind for a while.
“So, what’s his name?”
Zora freezes, her fork half way to my plate as she tries to steal more of my Mongolian Beef. She stares back at me like a deer caught in headlights. This conversation must be making her nervous.
“You—”
“Calvin.”
She speaks the same time I speak.
“Calvin.” I repeat for no other reason than to have something to say.
Saying his name curls my stomach. Putting a name to the man that gets to do all the things to my Zora that I’m no longer allowed to makes me nearly combust with jealousy.
I shake my head. I can’t have those thoughts. If I’m going to make this friendship with Zora work I have to remember my place in her life. Besides, I have someone too. A great girl that I love and loves me.
“So, what does Calvin do? Let me guess,” I say before she can reply. “He’s a doctor, or a C.E.O of some big time company. I bet your parents love him.” I admit that last sentence was said with a little animosity.