by MJ Fields
Miss Mancy winks. “I think she’d like to hang out and color with you; is that okay?”
“Totally cool with me.” I pat the chair next to me. “Come on in.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Kai.”
Kai nods then hurries to the spot on the floor where we shared a lollipop the first day.
“Would you like a lollipop?”
She nods.
“What flavor?”
“Purple,” she whispers then laughs. “Grape, please.”
“Awesome.” I grab two from my stash then head over.
She kicks her legs up, and I decide to join her. We each unwrap our suckers, and then she holds hers out, and I say cheers and tap mine to hers.
After a few minutes of silence, I ask, “Did you have a good day?”
Mid-lick, she nods.
“Cool. Me, too.”
Silence.
“Did you have a good weekend?”
She rolls to her side, props her head up on her elbow, and stares at me.
“Everything okay?”
“Who’s Ben and Jerry?”
It takes a hell of a lot of strength not to laugh after the conversation Ethan shared with me last night, but I get through it. “I’m not sure, but it’s a brand of ice cream.”
She looks at me in confusion.
“It’s hard to explain, like answering who’s Hershey, or who is Burger King. Ben and Jerry’s is the brand name of my favorite ice cream.”
She grins.
“Have you ever tried it?”
“Daddy says you have to have two jobs because you’re addicted to them.”
“Well, it’s not a them. And, because I have all summer with no work, and have a house and a car and food to pay for, I do work two jobs.”
She nods then licks then lies back. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
“I don’t. I’m super busy and dating can be difficult when you’re super busy.”
“My dad’s super busy, too.”
I hide my amusement. “Yep, he sure is.”
“But he’s handsome, right?”
“Um, yeah, he is. But more importantly, he’s very nice and clearly treats people he loves well.”
She nods, rolls to her side again, scrutinizes me, licks her lollipop, and then rolls back, looking at the ceiling, and sighs. “I think you should be my daddy’s girlfriend.”
“Oh, wow. Well, that’s an interesting idea.”
“I think of lots of interesting ideas.”
“It shows in your artwork, that you’re a deep thinker.”
“So, what do you think?” she asks, still looking at the ceiling.
“About what?”
“About being Daddy’s girlfriend.”
“I think if your daddy wanted to take me on a date, he could ask me, and we’ll see where it goes.”
She giggles.
“But only if you’re okay with it.”
“Obviously, I am, Ms. Bloom,” she sighs out.
“I see that.” I laugh.
She rolls over and looks at me. “Can you be on your porch around six-ish?”
“Are you coming to see me?”
She nods.
“Then I’ll be there.”
Driving home, I can’t help wishing I’d done the same thing to my dad—pushed him into loving again. Ms. Kennedy or even Shirley would have been wonderful for him, and he for them.
When my phone rings, I tap the steering wheel and answer, “Hello?”
“Heard you had an interesting meeting at the end of the day.”
“Oh my God, Ethan, she is freaking adorable.”
“Pushy as hell, too. She sent me a list of things I should do, and then a text saying, and I fucking quote, You need to nail this down.”
“She did not.”
“Christ, I wish she hadn’t,” he sighs, and then we both laugh.
“I’m thinking we take this real slow, set up a date maybe; not just jump into slapping a label on this, for God’s sake.”
“You’re overwhelmed.”
“What’s overwhelming, Elizabeth, is caring. It’s not a wonder everyone in my family learned to shut it down.”
His words hurt my heart. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t ever be that, love. Just understand that I’m not used to getting emotional, and for the love of all things Scottish, don’t ya start looking at me like I’m some sort of bamstick.”
“I like your bamstick.”
“Meaning arsehole.”
“How could I do that when your dick literally appears whenever you’re around?”
He growls, “I fucking love you.”
Saturday
One Month Later…
Ethan
“Daddy?” Kai pushes up and sits on my bathroom counter. “Are you nervous?”
It’s been a month since Kai “strong-armed me” into asking Elizabeth on a date, with flowers and Ben and Jerry’s. As far as she knows, tonight is our official first, unsupervised date—Elizabeth’s idea, which works for me. She loves my girl and that makes me love her even more. Wednesday nights, however, while Kai is fast asleep, Maryanne returns and stays until I sneak back across the street in time to wake my Sleeping Beauty.
Friday nights are still designated grill nights. Tonya is a regular, and so is her boyfriend, Jimmy, who’s a tad bit younger, but who am I to judge? I’m eleven years older than Elizabeth. Simon, Bridget, Brendan, and the twins, Eleanor, and “baby Elizabeth,” which Kai calls her and now we all do as well and often, Calliope, and her husband Nigel. Every other Saturday, Kai goes to yoga with Elizabeth, and I hit the gym. Then we meet up for lunch.
Sundays are truly a day of rest. Elizabeth spends the day reading and readying herself for work, and Kai and I watch YouTube videos, and she laughs over and over again at this Australian bloke named Chance, his goat, and his kids.
“Maybe a wee bit. Do you have any advice for me, a sheòid?”
“Why do you call me that?”
“A sheòid?”
“Aye,” she says gruffly, and I can’t help laughing. She’s come a long way from whispers to words to belly laughs.
At Elizabeth’s suggestion, we make a weekly challenge, and she gets a twenty dollar bill every Friday to spend however she wishes if she asks one question in each subject a day. The next week, we upped the stakes, that she had to ask two. This week, she’s at four. She still freezes up from time to time, but she perseveres.
“It means hero, valiant warrior, and you”—I kiss the top of her head—“have been mine for eight years.”
She stands up on the counter and pops a kiss to the top of mine. “Samesies.”
Then she puts her hands on her hips. “I think you should kiss her on the lips tonight.”
“Kai, what in the—” I stop when I realize I’m about to swear at my kid like I do Simon. It’s not like she hasn’t heard me say fuck, but never to her. “Heck.”
She laughs at the obvious righting of my wrong. “And if you love her, you should tell her. Do you love her?”
I look her in the eyes and nod. “I do.”
She slaps her hands against my cheeks and holds my face firmly. “Is she gonna be my mommy?”
“Don’t you think maybe you should date someone longer than a month before marrying them?”
Still squeezing my cheeks between her hands, she shakes her head. “Love doesn’t stop, Dad. My mom still loves me. She tells Grandma when she talks to her.”
When she slaps her hands against her mouth like she said something she shouldn’t and jumps down from the counter, I turn to follow her.
“Kai,” I call after her.
A sob escapes her, and she begins to run toward her room.
When the door slams, I then hear a click.
“Kai, open the door.” I try the handle, hoping like hell I was wrong. I wasn’t.
“Go away!” she screams.
“Kai, we need to talk about this. Open the door.” I bang on it. “Kai! O
pen the door, or I’m going to have to kick it open, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I DON’T WANT YOU ANYMORE!”
“What did you just say to me, Kai?” I bang on the door. “Open this door right now, young lady!” It all comes out in all the raw hurt and angry emotions those words caused. The feeling not toward her; it’s toward her grandparents.
When I feel a hand lightly touch my back, I know immediately that it’s Elizabeth.
I turn and look at her. “Gonna have to cancel tonight, I think.”
She holds her hand out. “I’ll call Maryanne and let her know.”
I nod as I pull my phone from my pocket. “I’m sorry. We’ll do this again another night.”
“I’m gonna order pizza. When she calms down, she’s going to want that.”
“How do you know she will? Did you hear her, for fuck’s sake?” I whisper.
She leans in and whispers, “Wait until she’s a teenager.”
“You teach elementary school. How do you know—”
“I was one.” She grips the front of my shirt and pulls me against her, pushes up on her tiptoes, and kisses me. “Let me know if you need me to tag in.” Then she turns and walks to the stairs.
I lean my head against the door. “Kai, please, I need to hear what you have to say.”
When I get a text from Elizabeth saying, “I did a thing,” I could already hear her in Kai’s room.
I’m not sure why I didn’t think of it first, but she got a ladder and knocked on Kai’s window with Ben and Jerry’s and two spoons in hand. I was a little upset at first, as she could have gotten hurt, but also grateful.
Forty minutes later, I hear the clicking of the lock, and then feet padding across her floor.
I stand up, knock once, and open the door.
Under the canopy bed, tucked under the covers, both of the people I love the most are looking at me, red-eyed.
“I’m sorry.”
“I love you, Kai, always. Do you want to talk about it?”
She looks at Elizabeth. “You.”
“Should we eat pizza first?” Elizabeth asks.
Kai looks at me.
“I could eat a slice.”
A little bit of light comes back to her eyes, and she nods. “All right, let’s go.”
Nothing was said about the incident while we ate pizza and watched a movie. Right before Kai fell asleep, she asked me if it was okay that Elizabeth sleeps over.
I thought it was cute, and yeah, I was okay with it.
After carrying her up and tucking her in, reading to Scotch, because it was part of our routine—I didn’t give a damn if she was asleep; I still wanted to make sure we kept on course—I go back downstairs to where Elizabeth has just finished cleaning up the family room.
“You okay?” she asks, wrapping her arms around me.
“Is she?”
She closes her eyes and rests her forehead on my chest. “You’ve got to push for supervised visits. Whether they know it or not, the grandmother for sure is putting her under so much emotional duress that it’s probably what’s causing this.”
“She said her mother talks to her grandmother, Elizabeth.”
She nods and looks up. “The good news is”—she holds up her phone—“I recorded our chat for you. And on it, Kai said she doesn’t want to go there as much. I can talk with Tonya; she’d know how to go about this.”
“That’s perfect. Now the bad news?”
“She thinks her grandmother will die if she doesn’t visit her, and I’m not sure if that’s something she’s made up in her head or what she’s actually been told. I’m guessing it may never be known for sure. And the worst news …”
“It gets worse?”
“I’m sorry, but Kai’s grandmother has told her that you are the cause of her mother’s death.”
“Jesus Christ,” I snap.
“But Kai knows you would never hurt her or me.”
“Of course not,” I huff. “She’s supposed to go there tomorrow fucking night.”
“With your permission, I’d like to call Tonya and ask her advice.”
“Elizabeth, ye don’t ever need permission to do what’s right for our Kai.” When she smiles, I realize what I said, and if I ever doubted if she could see herself as a mother to Kai, that doubt is now gone. “But one thing before ye make that call?”
She nods.
“Ye ever carry a ladder across the street, prop it up, and climb two stories again, I’m going to redden yer ass for real.”
“Then Christmastime is going to be amazing. I would suggest that you stock up on topical ointment, vitamins K and C, and … What was the other thing for bruising?” She grins.
I run my hands down her back and give her ass a very firm squeeze.
Three days later
The next day, after talking to my lawyer, knowing what a clusterfuck the legal process is and how long it takes to get anywhere without a six-week process, I called Beyza’s mother, Aynur, for lunch. She was hesitant, but I insisted it was urgent and was pertaining to Kai’s health.
We met near her husband’s real estate office at a coffee shop. Tonya and Ludwig, my lawyer, sat at a table off to the side so that Tonya could talk to her. Ludwig was there as mediator, if need be.
When I confronted her, she immediately denied the accusation. When I showed her the video, courtesy of Elizabeth, she broke down.
That’s when Tonya stepped in, and although she was there for Kai, she was extremely helpful in explaining even Aynur’s feelings to her. She even insisted that she call her husband and talk to him, as well.
Baris didn’t thank me, but Aynur did. My initial reaction was to tell them both to fuck off, but for Kai, and with great restraint, I held it in.
That night, through video conference with Tonya, Aynur explained to Kai that she had kind of a head sickness, and that she was sorry. Kai’s first reaction was tears, and I knew she thought her grandmother was physically ill. That’s where Tonya explained confusion, grief, and mental health issues to Kai in kid terms and assured her that her grandmother’s health in no way was a reflection of Kai’s choices. Tonya also made it abundantly clear that I had nothing to do with her mother’s death. That the accident was just that—an accident—and she made damn sure Aynur validated that truth.
Today, I received Kai’s passport the Kaplans had renewed, without my consent, that I had requested months ago.
“Are ye in the bath?” I ask.
“I am.”
“Could ye come over here, Kai? I would like to ask ye something.”
“Um, sure.” I hear water splashing as she gets out of the tub. “Give me ten?”
I chuckle. “I’ve got ten to give.”
As soon as I set the phone down, Kai looks up from the giant poster board that she is drawing and coloring on.
“You have eight minutes to finish that up.”
“You said ten,” Kai argues.
“Do you know Elizabeth well?”
She grins. “Yep, and she’s my best friend.”
When the doorbell rings exactly eight minutes later, Kai jumps down from her chair, grabs the poster board, and runs to the door with it flying behind her.
“You gonna open it, or do you want me to so you can hold your sign for her to see when she walks in the door?”
“Um, good point. But you need to step back so she doesn’t see you first. She gets all goo-goo-eyed when she looks at you.”
Chuckling, I open the door, and Kai holds up the sign, yelling, “Will you go to Scotland with us?”
“Are you kidding me?” Elizabeth runs to her and scoops her up. “Is this for real?”
Kai laughs. “Yep. So, will ya?”
“I’d love to.”
Scotland
Lizzie
Jet lag must be the mistress to Satan himself.
Get up! You’re in Scotland!
I grumble when I roll over and feel cold sheets beside me. Then I jump up and lo
ok around for Kai and see a note beside me.
Elizabeth,
Come meet us in the garden. We have tea.
Your best friend,
Kai
P.S. Please wake up soon.
P.S.S. Like real soon.
My feet hit the hardwood, and a chill immediately runs up my spine. I look around for my luggage but don’t see it, so I walk to the closet of Ethan’s master bedroom and open it. Inside, I grab a green cable knit sweater and a pair of what appear to be a cream color of long underwear.
No wonder Jamie and Claire fucked nonstop. It wasn’t just lust and passion; it’s seriously cold in this country.
“Ye must be Elizabeth,” a woman says from behind me.
Thankfully, I’m dressed when I turn around and see the woman of the manor. Her hair is whitish red and pulled back in a bun. She’s dressed similar to me, sans the long underwear, and her eyes are very much like Ethan and Kai’s in shape and color.
“You must be Isla.”
Her kind, green eyes smile, and she nods. “That I am. The boy and the wee one are waitin’ for ye in the back. Grab yerself some socks from Ethan’s dresser, and when ye hit the back door, there’s a pair of wellies waitin’ for ye.”
“Thank you so much. I appr—”
“Time for chatter later; the bonnie wee one is getting drookit.”
Holy. Shit. I only know what some of the words she said meant, and I highly doubt drookit means Kai is tipping back a pint, but I’m definitely in Outlander heaven.
Walking down the wide, wooden plank stairs, looking around, I am shocked that the walls are all white, brick, and not natural.
Like Ethan’s penis.
Tadger, we’re in Scotland.
I’m well-aware that I shouldn’t be thinking of Ethan’s manhood, or the fact things have definitely been updated since 1743, and I’m certainly not a time-jumping nurse, but whatever. I’m in Scotland, I’m in love, and I’m looking around his massive home, all white brick, exposed beams, and a roaring floor-to-ceiling fireplace, and I’m in love with it, as well.