"So, what brings you to my neck of the woods?"
"I know it's a surprise, Ruby. But just hear me out. I made a mistake. I was wrong. When I went on vacation to the Bahamas by myself, I was surrounded by beautiful women, but the most important, most beautiful woman I know, wasn't there. I thought that you would come home to the condo, but when you never came home, I began to worry I would never see you again. Then I contacted your sister and asked her where you were. She told me off and wouldn't tell me anything, so I did a little bit of digging and found out you'd bought this property. I just needed to talk to you. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm lost without you. I never should have run out. I know that it was wrong and that I don't deserve a second chance. But I'm here to beg you to hear me out.
“I was afraid, Ruby. I was afraid to love a woman who is as strong and as powerful as you. Maybe that makes me a weak man. And maybe I am. I don't know if you can ever forgive me, or if I even deserve your forgiveness, but if you ever cared at all for me, then I hope you will consider giving me one more shot to prove to you that I am the man for you.”
Ruby sat back in her chair and took a long swig of beer, her eyes never leaving Chad for a second. She’d put so many years into their relationship, waiting for him to finally commit. Waiting for him to finally want the same life that she did. And when she believed that her patience had finally paid off, he'd run out on her like a selfish child having a temper tantrum.
All those years and all the feelings that she'd had for him, the deep love in her heart that she had given him for so long; part of it was still there. She couldn't deny that she still had feelings for the man that she was prepared to marry just a few weeks ago. How could she not? It was only natural that she would.
She took another swig, wondering if she was normal or if she was a terrible pushover. Part of her truly wanted to believe him. She wanted the dream that she’d committed so much of her life to. She wanted to believe she hadn't been completely wrong for giving so much of herself for so long.
She didn't know what to do. She was beginning to have real feelings for Jamison — he was the kind of man she could truly love and would love her back. He was already everything. She didn't have to wait for him to change his mind or to want something else; he already wanted all the things she did. He already was everything she’d hoped Chad would be all those years. But Chad was the one she'd given her life to, Chad was the one she'd invested in, and all those years of investment were so hard to ignore.
"Will you let me take you out?" he asked. “We can get a bite to eat and talk this over.”
"I don't know. I'm really busy working on my novel. It's almost done. And I’m at a really critical spot in the process. I don't know if I have time to be distracted.”
"Just come out to dinner with me tonight. I'll pick you up at eight. I have reservations at the lodge. I won't take no for an answer.”
Chad had a way of being unnervingly persuasive. She felt herself relenting and giving in. What harm could dinner do? She'd made a new life for herself in Fate Rock, and she wasn't going to leave it behind, but she might as well hear him out. What could it really hurt?
“Okay Chad, I'll go to dinner with you. But I'm not promising anything.”
"I know you aren't. And you won't regret it.”
She already did.
"I'll be back at eight," he said.
Leaning in, he kissed her cheek. She was caught between feelings of repulsion and familiarity. He showed himself out, and Ruby took another swig of beer. What the hell was she doing? How could she let Chad back into her life after what he'd done? She went upstairs and dialed her sister.
"You're never going to believe who just showed up at my door."
"He found you?”
"He did."
"What did the bastard want?"
"Apparently, he wants to win me back.”
Ruby was at once disgusted and elated. She wasn't sure which emotion was stronger.
"You can't be serious," Sasha said. "Chad is a scumbag. You can't possibly be entertaining this."
"I agreed to go out to dinner with him to hear him out.”
"Ruby, I can't believe such a strong, successful woman could be so stupid about relationships.”
"Thanks a lot." She laughed, but she knew her sister was right.
Going out was Chad was stupid and below her, but she just couldn't help it — she’d loved him for so long, and she'd waited for so long for him to acknowledge her needs. For him to want what she did. The possibility that he had finally changed and would finally see things her way was just too tempting to pass up.
"Promise me you're not going to do anything stupid," Sasha said.
"I'm just going to go out to dinner with him. That's it.”
"What about Jamison, that bear shifter you were matched with on mate.com? He's been working on your house nonstop, and he hasn't asked for anything in return.”
"I know, Sasha, but I just got out of this six-year relationship with Chad. I can't imagine just jumping into something else.”
"Jamison is worth ten Chads. It would just be sad for a guy like that to lose out to a guy like Chad.”
"I'm not some kind of prize," Ruby said, irritated.
She was a grown woman. She made her own choices. And she would make her decision, as soon as she actually knew what her feelings were.
"I'm sorry, Ruby. I know you still have things to figure out. I just want to protect you. I don't want to see him hurt you again."
"I know. But you don't have to worry about me. I'm a big girl.”
"You can tell me not to worry about you all you want, but I still do and always will."
"How is it that you're my little sister, but it's more like I'm the younger one?”
"Maybe being a mom of four has something to do with it."
"That's probably it," Ruby said with a laugh.
"Whatever happens, I want you to stay true to yourself. Don't let Chad, me, Jamison or anyone else pressure you into doing something that's not right for you.”
"Thanks, sis. I appreciate that.”
Ruby got off the phone with Sasha, not really feeling that much better about things, but at least she’d told someone and gotten some things off her chest.
She went back upstairs to work on her book. She couldn't concentrate at all and spent the next two hours watching cat videos on the Internet. When she realized she'd been procrastinating like a pro, it was already time to start getting ready for her date with Chad.
Was it a date? Did she want it to be?
The memory of kissing Jamison popped into her mind. she could almost feel his hot full lips pressed against hers. She stood and went to her closet. What does one wear when going out for dinner with the ass that left you at the altar?
She decided on a long wool skirt, knee-high boots, and a wrap sweater, then went to the bathroom to put on makeup. When she looked in the mirror, she realized that she’d looked like she'd just rolled out of bed when she'd seen Chad. She felt that same old sense of horror at the idea of him seeing her in her natural state, but then she thought about being around Jamison every single day in sweatpants and her favorite ratty old writing sweater with her hair up in a messy bun tumbling off the side of her head. She'd never once felt inadequate in his eyes.
She put on a professional layer of makeup on her face and started to the door when she heard a knock. He was exactly on time. She found Chad wearing a tailored suit and a gold watch. He held a bouquet of a dozen long-stem red roses.
He offered them to her, and Ruby felt her heart skip a beat and then sink precipitously into the pit of her stomach. Chad was really trying. He wanted her back. But did she want him?
She thought about what Sasha had said, and she was right in so many ways. But Ruby was having such a hard time giving up the dream and all the years she'd invested in their lives together.
She took the bouquet into the kitchen and put it in a vase before walking with Chad out to
his rental car. He’d chosen a BMW sedan, which wasn't exactly suitable for the gravel roads, but they made it to the freeway without getting stuck in the mud.
As they walked into the Fate Rock Lodge, he threaded her arm through hers. The host seated them at the best table in the house, and Chad immediately bought the most expensive bottle of wine. Ruby sipped the ‘76 Merlot and perused the menu. She finally decided on the filet mignon as her main course and a few of the delicious appetizers. Chad ordered the same and several extra expensive sides, insisting that he wanted to treat her.
Ruby was the last person to be impressed by expensive meals or flashy cars. She had made plenty of money of her own doing something she loved. She had her home in the country and her sister nearby. It was everything she needed and everything she wanted, but she still needed closure on this part of her life. She needed to understand what Chad really wanted and why he was here. Did he want to be part of her life here in Fate Rock? Was he really finally ready to change and be the man she wanted? The man she needed.
"You look beautiful tonight," he said, sipping his wine after the waiter brought them the main course.
"The fresh mountain air is good for me," she said.
"I can see that it agrees with you. And I now understand why you wanted the house so badly. You wanted to be close to your childhood home. It’s a deep part of you. I was wrong not to listen.”
In that moment, Ruby held her breath, waiting to hear the words she'd prayed to hear him say for six years. That he was going to move to Colorado with her, and they would live their lives together in the peace and quiet of Fate Rock.
“After we go back to Manhattan, I think we could come vacation here at least twice a year. I hear the skiing here is amazing. That alone is worth the trip."
Ruby's heart sank. He hadn't changed. He didn't want what she wanted. His idea of compromise was basically just lip service. She could never go back to Manhattan, not after just spending a few weeks in Fate Rock and restoring her farmhouse. That just wasn't her, and it never had been. She realized she'd been dying slowly for years, trying to be that person, trying to be something she never would be. Then she realized that she could never ask Chad to be something he wasn't either. He was a city boy through and through, and even though she’d gained her success at a New York publishing house and gotten her education at NYU, she would always be a country girl. Now that she was home, she knew that she was never going to leave.
Even if he had promised her everything she’d ever wanted, it wouldn’t make any difference. She knew it would all be wrong. Chad was a massive D who’d always treated her like garbage. And Ruby now knew what it was like to be treated like a queen.
"I appreciate you coming all the way out here to talk to me. We definitely had some unfinished business. But you need to understand, I'm never going back to New York. And I'm never getting back together with you. You and I just aren't a match; we don't belong together. No matter how much I tried to make it work, you can't shove a round peg into a square hole.”
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Let me put it this way Chad. We are never ever, ever, getting back together.”
He looked at her dumbly. She smiled as she stood from the table, threw a couple hundred-dollar bills down on the table, and walked straight out of the restaurant. Half an hour later, Tony was driving her back to her house. She walked inside and knew, once and for all, she was home.
Chapter 12
After leaving Ruby's house, Jamison fumed the whole way home. He couldn't even call Zander to ask him what to do. His mind raced and his heart pounded. What would he do if Ruby went back to her ex? She was his mate; the only one for him.
If she chose Chad over him, he would be alone for the rest of his life. He would lose the woman he'd been waiting ten years to find, and all his hopes for a family would be destroyed. He’d nearly punched his mailbox on the way to his door. He slammed the front door closed and began pacing his living room.
He had to call her. He had to tell her not to listen to that jackass. Chad didn't deserve her — he had lost the right to consideration when he'd left her standing at the altar.
Jamison opened a bottle of whiskey he'd been saving for Christmas and poured himself a tall glass. He threw it back, feeling the sting of alcohol sink into his belly and finally relax his wounded soul.
Ruby was a smart woman. She wouldn't let the man who'd hurt her back into her life. She had her home in Fate Rock, and her own life now. He had to believe that she'd make the right choices for herself. He could still win her over if he was patient like Zander had said. But all those rationalizations didn't make it any easier to get through the night. He drank quite a few shots of whiskey before making it into bed.
In the morning, he went to the salvage shop looking for the piece for Ruby's stove. He asked the owner if he had anything like that in stock.
"I might have just the thing," the owner said, leading Jamison through the aisles of doors and stained-glass windows. They came to a section with vintage appliances and the store owner began digging through trays of parts. He pulled out the part Jamison needed.
"Here it is," the man said with a grin. "Is this what you need?”
"That's exactly what I need," Jamison said.
The store owner rang him up at the counter and Jamison took the part out to the car. He sat behind the wheel for long moments, considering what to do next. Part of him didn't want to go back to Ruby's house. Seeing her with Chad had cut him to the quick, especially after how she had run out on him after their kiss, and then avoided him for two days. He didn't know if his poor heart could take any more.
He let out a sigh and turned on the engine. This was the last thing she needed for the rest of the winter, and it would be the last time he would go out there. She needed space. So did he. He knew in his heart that he loved her, and he’d do anything for her. But he couldn't take being hurt like that again. If she got back together with Chad, as much as he hated to think it was a possibility, he didn't want to be anywhere near the fallout.
He sent her a quick message: "Have the part for the stove. I can bring it by now if you're around."
"Bring it by," the reply said a moment later.
He put down his phone and started out of the parking lot. The whole way to her house, he sat in silence watching the early winter landscape rush by outside his window. He loved Fate Rock. He’d loved it since the first minute he'd stepped foot off the military plane ten years ago. He’d known this was where he wanted to make a family. To make a life. And the first minute he'd met Ruby, he’d known she was the one he wanted to make that life with. Too bad she didn't see the same thing in him. He wasn't going to let the dark thoughts get the better of him, though; there were things that were under his control and things that he had to leave to fate. All he could do was be the best man he could be, and Ruby could make her choice from there.
He rolled up to her driveway half expecting to see Chad's car still parked out front, but thankfully it was nowhere to be found. He didn't know if he could be responsible for his actions if he saw that man again. Chad didn't have the right to be here after what he’d done to Ruby. Jamison just had to keep his faith and believe that his mate wasn't going to let herself be used and abused by that man again. He was here for her. He was the man she'd been waiting for all along. He had to believe that, or it would end him.
He climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. Ruby answered a moment later with red rimmed eyes and unkempt hair. He could tell she'd been crying. His eyebrows knit together with concern. Had that bastard hurt her again?
"Thank you for doing this," she said, her voice hoarse.
"This is the last thing you need before winter sets in. You should be good until spring. Then we can finish the roof.”
She walked with him to the kitchen and he set his toolbox on the table.
"This should only take a few minutes," he said, opening the top of the stove.
He located the part that needed replacing and qu
ickly removed it before installing the new one. He set the lid back down and turned the knob. The ignition cracked and the gas ignited in the eye, producing a satisfying flame. He smiled at his handiwork, and Ruby gasped with pleasure at the sight.
"It will be so nice to eat decent food again. I've been eating microwave burritos and soup for the past week.”
Her voice was still distant and sad. So unlike the energetic woman he'd been working with these last few weeks. She watched him the whole time while he tested the oven, making sure it came up to heat. When he was satisfied that everything was working properly and safely, he turned it all off, threw the old part in his toolcase, and started toward the door. She stood in the doorway as he started to pass, and reached out to touch his shoulder.
"About the other day,” she started, half looking up at him.
"It's okay, really."
"Let me explain."
"You don't have to explain anything to me, Ruby. You’re your own woman. I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness."
"I'm sorry that I pulled away," she said, looking him straight in the eyes now. “I was afraid. I was afraid of what it meant for me to move on so quickly after my fiasco of a wedding.”
"What about Chad?" he said. His voice had more of an edge to it than he’d meant for it to have.
"I sent him back to New York.”
"Are you going with him?" he asked, his heart pounding in his ears.
"I finally realized that Chad isn’t the man for me. He never was… You are.”
He gazed down at her, their eyes meeting as if for the first time. Understanding surged between them. His inner grizzly growled and roared. Jamison dropped his toolbox on the counter and grabbed her, pulling her into his arms. He pressed his mouth against hers, claiming her lips with the intense hunger of his animal desire. She groaned against his mouth as he kissed her hard and deep. He didn't ever want to let her go. And, this time, she didn’t try to run away.
Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, meeting his intensity with her own. His inner bear growled and roared, demanding he have her. Jamison didn't want to stop to think. He let his inner beast take over. He gathered Ruby in his arms, picked her up off the floor and carried her upstairs to her bedroom.
Builder Bear (Justice Squad Book 6) Page 7