by Jen Davis
“Really?”
“Yeah, I mean, it’s been almost five days. They should have healed by now.”
“Wait, touch it. I want to see if I can feel it.”
“Oh, okay.” I touch his cheek gently with my fingertip.
His face twists in pain. “Ow!”
My eyes widen. “Oh, God, did I hurt you? Oh, no. I’m so sorry. Darn it. I always make things worse. Shoot, shoot—”
I stop rambling when I hear Chase’s laughter. I look up at him and instantly see that he had been faking all of it. I try to look mad, but watching him laugh makes me laugh. “You’re horrible!”
His dimples appear once again which makes me smile even wider. “Am I really?”
I shake my head, chuckling. “No. Not really.”
Suddenly, I see Mell across the cafeteria watching me with a smirk. She probably thinks I am flirting with him or something. I have to leave now or she will bring it up the whole day.
“Well, I’ve gotta go! But I’ll see you around!”
I try to walk past him, but he holds my wrist gently. “Wait.”
“Hm?”
“Do you want to come to my football game this Thursday? It’s a home game.”
“Football game?”
He grins. “Yeah, like the thing where a bunch of guys throw a ball to each other and—”
I roll my eyes, smiling. “I know what it is! I just…why?”
He shrugs. “Because I would love to have you there.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to know if you’re my lucky charm.”
“Lucky charm?”
“Yes.”
“What does that mean?”
“I used to win all the games my ex-girlfriend used to come to. Maybe you’ll be like that.” He smiles, watching my reaction.
“So…you want me to be her replacement?” I raise an eyebrow.
He chuckles. “No, nothing like that. Trust me.” He sighs. “I don’t need another Ana.”
“As friends, then?”
Something passes over his face. “Uh…”
I think he agrees.
Uh…
Yeah, he totally does! I can see it in his eyes!
I nod, smiling. “As friends, then!”
And I can invite Tom too, and we can study for our psych test, and he won’t have that sad look in his eyes anymore.
All I have to do now is convince Mom and Dad.
That I have a “project” to do.
I drop in the seat next to Mell. She looks at me with a mysterious smile and I know she’s going to bother me about what she had just seen.
“Do you like—”
“No.”
“So you don’t find him even a little—”
“No.”
“But the way he looks at—”
“No.”
She raises an eyebrow and pops a French fry in her mouth. “Fine, if you want to be like that, then be like that.”
“I want to be like that.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
There’s silence.
“But not even a teensy—”
“Mell, no!”
I see Tom across the cafeteria, sitting in the corner with his laptop out. “TOM!” I wave a hand so he can see me. I call out his name again.
Finally, he looks up from his screen and squints to look at me. I can see a slight smile on his face, as he mouths “hey.”
I put my hands in prayer style and mouth, “Please, please come sit with me.”
Mell says wryly, “You know…I can see you…right?”
I ignore her and pump my arms as he picks up his things and comes toward us.
***
Walking into the room with my hair drenched and smelling like chlorine isn’t the best way to start class.
“Drop your Latin class.”
And that person doesn’t make it any better either.
Chapter 22
Caterina
I inhale deeply. I’m not ready to deal with this monster. But it’s rude not to reply, so I politely say, “And why would I?”
“Because you’re a billionaire’s daughter and your daddy isn’t going to allow you to hang out after school, Kitten. Especially with me.” Valentin winks.
I grimace and look around. I hiss, “Can you please keep your voice down?”
Valentin shrugs. “So we’re going to skip school during your period off.”
I’m horrified just even thinking about it.
Caterina does not skip school.
She does not drop classes.
She does not slack off.
She gets straight A+’s and 100’s on her tests and punishes herself when she doesn’t.
Even though I had been homeschooled and tutored, I took my grades more seriously than any student at a regular high school. I go all out on projects, assignments, everything.
And now this boy expects me to drop a class at the snap of his fingers?
I sit down and fold my hands on my lap slowly. Class starts and Mr. Mahor quickly shoos us off to plan our projects.
I turn to Valentin, looking at him like he’s stupid. “No.”
I think he will get angry. I assume no one has ever said no to him before. But he merely chuckles. He leans back in his chair and regards me with a knowing smile. “And why not?”
I look at him like it’s obvious. “Because…” But all reasons flee my mind. I blurt out, “Because it’s important!”
He raises an eyebrow. “Why?”
“The colleges I’m looking into want four years of a language.”
Valentin cocks an eyebrow, unbelieving. “Where did you hear that?”
I scoff. Is he really second guessing my research? I have been looking into this since second grade.
Four years of Latin.
AP classes.
4.0 GPA.
2400 SAT score.
36 on the ACT.
Harvard Medical University.
I give him a brief, if slightly condescending, smile. He doesn’t seem like the type of student who really wants to do anything big with his life. Maybe scaring some kids is going to work in high school, but when he gets into the real world? It is going to be a punch in the gut.
“Trust me, Valentin.” I flash him a smile. “It’s true.”
He looks like he’s thinking. “Which colleges, Kitten?”
“That I want to go to?”
“Hm.”
“Harvard.” I shrug. “Which is why I can’t afford to slack off.”
I flip through my Catcher in the Rye notes. There’s silence from Valentin for an unusually long time which makes me look up, wary. “What?”
He looks at me for a full moment. Then he bursts out laughing. “You’re kidding, right?”
I scowl. “No, I’m not kidding.”
“You are.” He shakes his head, amused. “You must be.” I give him a dead look.
“Wait, you seriously expect me to believe that you’re working toward Harvard?”
I growl and clench my fists. What the heck is his issue?
And more than that, it makes me angry that I don’t know what exactly he is laughing at. That I want to go Harvard?
Valentin continues laughing. Without thinking, I reach over and smack his arm. “What?”
I may have said it a little too loud because the class suddenly stops talking.
Valentin’s eyes are on me, looking amused. He crosses his arms, his biceps bulging. He watches to see how quickly I am going to get myself sucked into a pit of quicksand. Like I always do.
I withdraw my arm quickly to my side. I know I’m beet red.
Please look away. Why are people looking? Oh god, why won’t they stop looking? Look away, look away.
I can hear whispers and the words “ho” and “boyfriend” and “Cassandra.” Oh, her name was everywhere in my life. And it doesn’t take long for me to connect the words since I had been told them this morning…very explici
tly:
I’m a ho because I stole Cassandra’s boyfriend.
Which brings me to…Valentin probably has something to do with this.
I spin around to him, ready to unleash hell on him. But before I can speak, Mr. Mahor stands and interrupts the whispering until there’s silence in the room. “Does everyone have something to do or do you need more work?”
A chorus of “No’s” and groans echo in the room, and people start talking to their partners once again. I can feel glances, but I don’t know if it is Valentin that has scared them or the promise of more work, but no one dares to whisper anymore.
I slump in my seat. Mr. Mahor catches my gaze and winks. I smile, relieved.
Then I turn quickly to Valentin, my smile vanishing. He is looking at me strangely. “You look decent when you smile, Kitten.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Uh…thank you?”
There is probably an insult in there somewhere. I don’t really care when people insult my looks, which probably differentiates me from most girls in general. I don’t usually get insecure about how I look, or my body, or what people think of me in general. My parents have taught me better than that. Especially Mom.
Valentin smirks. “But you look even better when you cry, Kitten.”
I look at him, horrified.
What the…
“What is your problem, dude?”
He looks amused. “‘Dude’?”
I shake my head. “I knew you were disturbed but that’s just…creepy.”
But, really, why are you surprised?
I purse my lips. “Wait, never mind, please scratch that. You’ve done much creepier things.”
Amused, he says, “You want to fall in love with me and you’re calling me creepy?”
“No, I do not. You need me to trust you so that you can have what you want…which is also all very creepy. Just saying.”
“Then what does that say about you wanting me, Kitten?”
I choke and hiss, “I do not want you!”
“So, you’re willing to give your virginity to someone you don’t even want?” Valentin looks at me like I am mental. He is making me furious, even though I know somewhere in the back of my mind that he is just trying to get under my skin.
“That is not what I said. Please stop twisting my words. And you know what? Please just drop the ‘fall in love thing.’ Let’s just drop it.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You want to call off the bet?”
“There shouldn’t have been a bet in the first place because it’s not going to happen in a million years. Can’t we just change it to ‘make you trust me’?”
“No. We can’t. A deal is a deal.”
“You’re cruel. You’re a creep. I’m never going to fall in love with anyone in high school, let alone you.”
Okay, maybe I am getting too free with my words, but it doesn’t seem like he is taking anything to heart today, so I might as well use the day to my advantage to get my feelings across.
Anger washes over his face, but he quickly clears it. He smirks. “You’re going to give your virginity to a creep, Kitten? Is that really the type of girl you are?” He leans in. “Your virginity?”
Keep calm, Kitty. Keep calm.
No.
Keep calm—
Fudge no.
Keep—
I get up, letting my anger take over my body. I push him back by his shoulders. “Stop. Saying. Virginity!”
There’s complete silence in the room again. Except this time, it’s literally complete silence. Like nada. No noise. Valentin looks up at me like he accomplished his plan. He looks like he’s about to burst out laughing. He whispers up with a grin, “Now, now, Kitten. Don’t go making a big thing out of nothing.”
Ugh, this disgusting inbreed!
I feel people ogling at me. Their stares burn into the back of my head. I feel how judgmental their looks are. The words they’re dying to say. The words they’ll say once I get into the hallway. I’ve managed to avoid everything and everyone during the first half of the day by some miracle, but I can feel the tensions rising again. I am really gonna get it once class finishes.
I can’t stay in this room. I can’t.
If I do, I am going to end up killing someone. Someone like a guy with tattoos and a smug look that is disgustingly etched on his face. Argh.
I catch Tom’s gaze from the front of the room. I plead him with my eyes, but I don’t know if I get anything across. His look is a mix of sympathy and disappointment. His eyes flit to me, then to Valentin, and back again. Then he turns away.
Is he actually mad at me? How can he be mad at me? How can anyone be mad at me?
Wow, what a way to be conceited, Cat.
I am not being conceited. I’m the nicest person ever!
Don’t give me silence! I am!
You beat up seven girls this morning…
Because they were ganging up on me! It’s called self-defense.
“Tsk, tsk. Kitten, Kitten, Kitten—”
“Don’t call me Kitten!”
I hear Mr. Mahor’s worried voice say, “Ms. Callahan…no one is calling you that…are you all right?”
Another flush washes over me, from my head to my toes.
Oh, no. No. No. Please, no. I did not just—
“Say it out loud? Yes, you did…Kitten.” I hear Valentin’s words filled with quiet laughter and I know that I’m the only one who has heard him. I hate him.
I take a deep breath, ten percent angry, one hundred ten percent mortified. “I’m just going…going to take a breath outside…” I stumble over my feet as I try to get out of my seat. “Yeah, I think…deep breath…fresh air…it’ll help…” I keep muttering as I slowly make my way to the door.
Someone gets up behind me and I hear, “I’ll go with her, Mahor. To make sure she doesn’t get lost and get herself into trouble.”
I spin around and find Valentin’s disgusting, ugly, creepy, scary, beautiful—darn it, no, not beautiful—eyes watching me with mirth.
I want to scream, but I know if I open my mouth even slightly I’ll say things that’ll get me in more trouble.
Mr. Mahor nods. “Good idea.” He nods to Valentin with a smile. “It’s admirable that you’re taking care of your partner, Nikolaev.”
I smile.
…admirable?
…Ad—Admirable?
Deep breath, Cat. Deep breath.
Okay, got it.
I smile even wider, trying to contain my anger and frustration.
I feel Valentin’s hand circle my arm. “Let’s get going, partner.” The enjoyment he’s getting out of it gets under my skin even more.
I let him pull me out of the room, but jerk away as soon as the doors close behind us. “What. Is. Your. Problem?”
“Never mind, don’t answer. Just please leave me alone.” I start walking away from him quickly, trying not to punch him. I’m fuming, along with the embarrassment. I need to be alone. I really need to be alone. I am starting to feel constricted again. I thought I had gotten this anxiety out years ago.
“Do you even know where you’re going, Kitten?” I hear him behind me.
“Yes. Away from you,” I throw back.
He jogs up and starts walking beside me. “Kitten—”
“No. Don’t ever call me that.”
He starts laughing but quickly stops when he sees my face. “Are…you crying?”
I turn away from him. “No.” My heart constricts.
Please don’t be crying. Please don’t.
I look up and try to blink them away.
Gosh, I am such an embarrassment.
Why the heck would you let him see you cry? Ugh.
“Yes, you are.” Valentin grips my arm and turns me around to face him. He searches my face and all amusement leaves his face. “You know that was all harmless fun, right?”
I try to jerk away from him, gulping down a sob. “Maybe for you. It’s never that way for the girl.”
His eyebrows pull in. “What do you mean?”
Of course he wouldn’t get it.
A boy can do anything with a girl, and the girl is who gets the backlash.
A guy gets a girl pregnant and she’s stuck with the baby.
A guy sleeps with a girl and she’s the one who’s called a slut.
Valentin does something and I am the one stuck with the shame.
I shake my head, looking over his shoulder, out the window. “Do you even know what you did by breaking up with Cassandra? Did you stop and think for once how it would affect me? Did you even try to make the rumors go away?”
“Kitten—”
“No. No, you don’t get to call me that and be an ass. We had a deal. Making me a fool in front of everyone was not the deal, Valentin.”
“Kitten—”
I jerk my arm to the doorway, and my voice breaks. “Do you know the things people are saying about me? They’re calling me a whore. I’m not.” My voice cracks again, and I hate myself for it. “I am not a whore.”
Valentin takes my face in his hands. His eyes are soft and kind, which stuns my heart. “I know you’re not.”
I shake my head, but he doesn’t let go of me. “But they don’t know that.” And now I’m crying. “I freak out like that and start rambling and saying things when I’m frustrated and overwhelmed. Anything physical I can handle. I can. I’m strong. But being called a slut and whore by people who don’t even know me?” My voice rises and I stop, the words getting stuck in my throat.
I try to jerk away from Valentin but he doesn’t let go. His hands hold my face still and force me to look up at him. He watches me in silence as I spill my guts.
The bell rings, startling me. Students start pouring out of classrooms.
I bring my hands up to Valentin quickly and grip his wrists, whispering harshly, “Listen.”
We both don’t move. And it takes approximately fifteen seconds for the whispers to start.
It comes from everywhere.
Kids passing by, all around me.
“Whore.”
“Slut.”
“Bitch.”
Valentin’s eyes darken to an angry shade. He quickly wipes the tears from my cheek. His eyes tell a story, and suddenly, in that moment, I wish to god I knew him well enough to interpret what he’s thinking.