by E. M. Moore
He doesn’t respond as I turn into her office, closing the door behind me with a little more force than necessary. She’s sitting in the same chair, waiting for me. I plop down opposite her. After a bit of time passes, she drops her gaze to the floor where the file and its contents are strewn everywhere and then back at me. I sigh, bending to pick it up before putting it all together on my lap again.
“Judging by your response, I’m going to assume what the Council wrote is a trigger for you.” I grimace, and Ms. Ebon quickly responds with, “We don’t have to discuss it today as you’re not mature enough to control your wolf.” Her eyes turn sad for the first time since I’ve been here. She leans closer, frowning. “Miss Walker, you are in a very dire situation. If you are found to have an unnatural lineage, you will not be able to mate with Jonah even if he should accept you. You will have to leave Lunar Pack immediately.”
I blink at her, dread knotting in my stomach. “And go where?”
“Feral,” she tells me, brows pinching. “You will not be allowed in any of the packs. You will be shunned. For good.”
I breathe in deeply, letting the air out slowly. Her words shouldn’t scare me like they do. “It won’t be a problem,” I assure Ms. Ebon. “My parents told me I’m the product of their pairing.” They’ve been telling me that my whole life, but it still hasn’t stopped the rumors from flying—my mother’s a whore; my mother had sex with another man after she mated with my father.
In the human world, cheating causes whispered rumors and catty remarks. In the wolf world, she may as well have signed my death certificate and my family’s displacement from society. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stared at family pictures, trying to talk myself into the fact that I look like my father. Dear God, let me look like my father.
“Very well,” Ms. Ebon says simply. “Your whole family will be under inspection from this very moment. For your sake, I hope they can prove your lineage.”
I swallow the lump building in my throat. Mating with Jonah has pulled my parents into this mess again. The same mess that occurred right around the time I was born. “What’s going to happen?”
Ms. Ebon leans back in her chair. “Pack Council business, I imagine. But I need you focused on your studies here. Since you’re the product of the mated pairing, there is nothing to worry about except gaining favor with your mate.”
Her words don’t exactly help any. Once again, I want to scream. If only I’d gone without pairing. Why couldn’t the universe have kept me unbonded? It would’ve saved everyone a lot of trouble. Now, my parents’ personal affairs are going to be picked apart at length. Jonah will be ridiculed. And me? No one will ever think of me and the hell I’m going through here.
My advisor points to a spiral notebook I’d placed back in the file. “Those are the rules of Greystone Academy, Miss Walker. I expect you to know them before you start your classes.”
“What classes?” I ask. According to the textbook all those years ago, I’ll need some sort of lessons to ready myself for a fated mate pairing, and I’m not sure that’s exactly doable.
“I will come up with your schedule, taking the recommendations from Jonah and the Lunar Pack Council into account.”
I shake my head. Human history should tell us shifters that this sort of control is bad for the population. Nothing good ever came from it. “You’re going to decide what I do here? So, as my other wolfpeers are going to school for real education toward occupations, I’m going to suffer through, what? Etiquette classes?”
“If you need them, yes,” Ms. Ebon remarks. “Among other things. Every wolf who comes here is different. Many times, we don’t have a particular set schedule that every wolf takes. We still have general education courses, by the way. It’s all in that manual. Remember that the sooner you leave here, the sooner you can assimilate back into regular wolf society and go to the University your wolfpeers are attending.”
On second thought, I’m not so sure I want to go to the University with all those assholes. It might be nice here with a little bit of freedom from everyone. And new people. I’ve never met anyone who didn’t know everything about me.
“We have a fair graduation rate,” Ms. Ebon continues. “Seventy-five percent of wolves are accepted by their mate within the first year.”
At this moment, that favorable figure doesn’t help. I can’t imagine Jonah ever accepting me. In fact, my back still aches from his body slam. “How many wolves are cast out?” I refrain from using the word Feral as it always makes an icy sliver of fear cut down my spine. The idea of living that way has always taunted me since I was a pup.
“Twelve percent, Miss Walker. My personal number is much lower than that, and I’m not going to let you ruin my statistics. I expect you to conform. I expect you to try. I expect you to do everything in your power to get Jonah Livestrong to listen to his internal feelings instead of his brain. Do you understand?”
My lips thin. Everything in me says it’s wrong that I have to try—that we’re even having this conversation based on something I didn’t do and had no control over. On the other hand, the consequence is nothing short of life-ending.
“I understand.”
She stands briskly. “Excellent. Let me show you around, then.” She reaches for the file folder in my lap and leaves me to take the thick notebook of rules and regulations. A painted picture of Greystone Academy covers the front. It’s a shame such a horrible place is so freaking pretty.
I stuff the booklet in the lone book bag I brought with me. I was told to pack a separate bag that would be forwarded to my room. Despite myself, a nugget of intrigue blooms in my stomach. I’ve never been away from home. Never been away from the harsh comments and constant arguments. This seems like a way to start a brand new life.
Ms. Ebon opens the door, and I follow her out into the hall. “Pick up your discarded clothes, Miss Walker.”
Trailing the clipped sound of her heels bouncing off the hall, I pick up the scraps of fabric, placing everything in my book bag, and race to catch up to her.
She shows me the common areas first. The cafeteria and gymnasium are huge, at least five times the size of Lunar Pack School. The juxtaposition of old world with modern flares makes everything seem so foreign. “No one is allowed on the first floor after seven p.m.,” Ms. Ebon instructs. “There are common areas in the different wings if you would like to socialize. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this, but there is no sexual fraternization of any kind. If you’re caught doing so, both of you will automatically be cast out. It’s not a problem we usually have since your instinct will forbid it, but it has happened.”
“Well, there goes my plan for tonight,” I joke.
Ms. Ebon stops, and I almost run into her backside. She turns yellow eyes on me. “That is the worst threat to our kind. I don’t find that funny at all.”
I nod once, feeling the dread in the pit of my stomach boil up. Trust me, I get the whole we-need-to-mate-with-our-bonded-one-so-we-can-prolong-our-race thing. It’s another reason why I’m certain I’m the product of a mated pair. If I wasn’t, I should’ve come out fucked up or something, right? Otherwise, what’s the big deal? Despite my inner beliefs, her words ring around in my head. Could anyone really blame these wolves for taking solace in another when they’ve just been through the biggest hurt of their life?
I guess in Greystone Academy’s eyes, you can.
“Noted,” I mutter, slinking back. I barely listen as she points out several more rooms in the tour.
Her reaction to my joke is just more evidence that I don’t actually belong. No one thinks like me.
4
Ms. Ebon leaves me outside a room in the Lunar Pack wing, handing me a rather modern-looking key despite the castle-like appearance of the corridor. The echo of her retreating heels bounces off the walls as she descends the winding, stone staircase, leaving me alone to peer inside my new digs.
It’s bigger than my bedroom.
The bag I packed sits
inside the doorway. Against the far wall, lying horizontally, is a full-size bed, and to my left sits a simple, dark wood desk. I suppose I’ll be able to study whatever the academy feels necessary to learn in order for me to win Jonah’s heart here. I fake gag, and my wolf practically rolls her eyes at me. At least she’s paying attention instead of hiding in her own self-misery. To my right, a big TV is attached to the wall above a massive dresser. Adjacent to that is a closet and a door to my very own en suite. I don’t know why I’d expected a roommate to be waiting for me. Maybe because that’s how they depict dorms in movies? Thankfully, I don’t have to deal with being around someone twenty-four seven on top of getting my heart broken.
Honestly, this room is ten times nicer than home. My parents are so far down the pack line that we have the worst house in Lunar. It’s a small two-bedroom surrounded by woods. It’s furthest from the center of town where all the other wolves live, but I’ve always loved how out of the way it is, like a built-in sanctuary. Plus, I love the expanse of land. There’s so much space for growing my plants. I might have a bit of a green thumb, which is as weird for shifters my age as it is for humans.
Oh well. No one has ever accused me of conforming. Obviously.
Lunar Pack linens stretch across the mattress, our moon crest taking up the foot area of the charcoal comforter. The midnight-blue sheets are the perfect complement. I trail my fingers over the soft fabric, then plop my book bag down in the center. It’s late, and I’ve had a shitty day. My eyes are itchy and begging to close now that everything is settling down. The shifts are getting to me.
Twice in one day on my first day. That’s unheard of.
On top of that, instead of celebrating with my parents, I was sent away. At home, others are commemorating becoming one with their wolves, and for some, their new mates. I was so preoccupied with finding my own, and subsequently being rejected, that I didn’t pay attention to who else mated.
In my world, today is one of the most important days of the year. Graduation from our primary studies is coupled with becoming one with our shifter form. It’s symbolic to becoming adults. Even I was looking forward to my initial shift, and I don’t look forward to anything pack related.
For a few minutes, my wolf and I were gleefully happy together romping through the woods. But when we caught Jonah’s scent, everything changed. He sent us into a spiral, leaving us at odds again. Since I was a pup and she started to awaken inside me, we’ve fought. She wants to belong to the pack, while I’ve shied away because I knew what waited for me if I tried.
I unpack my things into the dresser, and in the process, find black socks and shirts donning the Greystone Academy crest already folded inside. I don’t think much of it until I move to the closet. A whole slew of skirts and sweaters with the same crest are tucked inside. I pause, my fingers tightening around my one fancy shirt from home. “No fucking way.”
I immediately bring out the booklet from my bag, scanning through the index until I find the dreaded word—uniform. I quickly turn to page seventeen, and sure enough, we’re required to wear matching attire. A pleated skirt paired with a polo and a sweater in the winter.
A knock sounds on my door that I don’t recognize at first because I’m in shock. It gets louder, and I march toward it, tugging the door open, prepared to tell Ms. Ebon exactly what I think about school uniforms. A petite, brown-haired girl has her hand up, preparing to knock again. When she sees me, her eyes round.
Instantly, my fury drains away and is replaced with apprehension. “Oh, sorry.”
She chuckles. “Let me guess. You found the uniforms.”
I track my gaze down her torso to find she’s wearing the same sweats I am but with a Hello Kitty shirt. Prior experiences with shifters my own age have made me standoffish, so I narrow my eyes, waiting for her to talk first.
This new girl is undeterred. “I’m Mia,” she tells me. “Daybreak Pack.” She hikes her thumb over her shoulder, indicating the far end of the hall. “I’ve been waiting for you to get here.” Pulling out a basket from behind her, she shoves it between us. A box of tissues, an inordinate amount of chocolate, and a glittery unicorn journal are all packed prettily inside.
“What’s this?”
“I made you a welcome basket. Though….” She appraises me. “Looks like you don’t need the tissues. Most people are a hot mess when they first get here.”
I lean against the doorframe. “Too pissed to be a hot mess.”
She shoves the basket into my chest, forcing me to take it as she walks inside my new domain. She sits down on the foot of my bed like we’ve been friends for years. The hair on the back of my neck raises, and I wonder if this is what it’s like to socialize with people. I’ve seen it from the outside, but I know nothing about friendly meetings.
Hanging out? Is that what this is?
“So, what’s your story?” she asks, peering around my room. When I don’t respond, she peeks at me. “You might as well tell me now. This place leaks like a sieve. We’re all the castoffs, so we have to find consolation in each other.”
“My mate rejected me,” I answer stupidly.
She rolls her eyes. “Duh.” Sighing, she says, “I’ll go first. My mate is a piece of shit who’s been dating the same girl for years. When we all shifted for the first time and he didn’t get matched with her, he rejected me. Oh, and she rejected the mate she’d been fated to also. We’re both here.”
My mouth drops. “No shit.” I had no idea people could be rejected for the dumbest fucking thing. Actually, I should have realized that. My rejection is fucking ridiculous, too.
“Your turn.” She leans forward eagerly, brown hair falling over her shoulders.
“My mate,” I snarl. Yep, still having problems saying that out loud, “rejected me because he thinks, and I quote, ‘Kinsey Walker has never tried to become part of Lunar Pack.’”
She grimaces. “Harsh.”
“Yeah. He’s security for our alpha, so apparently he wants a mate who will just do whatever he says.” I smile at the new girl. “That’s never been my thing.”
She smirks. “I like you, Kinsey. We should be friends.”
My wolf lifts her head. Just when I think she’ll most likely be avoiding others for the rest of our mutual life, she suddenly gains interest. Her ears flatten, attuned to what's going on. It’s weird because I can feel the move rather than see it. Evidently, she loves the idea of being friends with another wolf, even if we’re not in the same pack. “I’m not going to lie, Mia. I’ve never been friends with anyone before, so I’ll probably be a lot more trouble than it’s worth.”
She laughs, the sound ricocheting around the bare room. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re the weirdest wolf I’ve ever met.”
If it weren’t for the light in her eyes, I might have taken offense, but really, I’m fine with that assessment.
I hold up the basket. “So, chocolate?”
“Girl, I thought you’d never ask.”
I break open all the bags and have a seat on the bed next to her. “Best part about being a wolf,” I proclaim, shoving a piece of chocolate into my mouth, “you never get fat.”
“I went on an eating spree once, just to make sure. I swear, I ate so many freaking calories I almost didn’t touch food for a month. It was around the time when that human swimmer Michael Phelps was all over the news for eating an insane number of calories a day. I was sure there was a threshold where I would start to put on some fat. Nope. Nothing.”
My wolf likes Mia, settling down as my possible new friend and I go back and forth about the positives of being a shifter. Before long, I lean against the wall and study my new surroundings. Reality starts to set in. There are a bunch of cool wolf things, but I’m stuck at Greystone Academy. “How long have you been here?”
She presses her lips together. “I’m not a good one to ask if you’re wanting a Cinderella story.”
That makes sense. The fact that she’s here means things aren�
�t working out for her. A blush creeps up her cheeks, and I hurry to assuage her worries. “Hey, I’m not going to judge. None of my pack likes me, so….” I trail off, hoping she gets what I mean. I’ll probably be here forever, too.
“Over a year.” She clears her throat, her face hardening. “He’s pretty fucking stubborn. He only shows up for his mandatory meetings, and we don’t even talk.”
“Mandatory meetings?”
She wipes chocolate from the corners of her lips. “It’s all in your manual. Pass me a pillow, would you?” I reach over to grab her a pillow, and she stuffs it behind her back before reclining against the wall. “Basically, there are mandatory meetings, almost like family visitation in human jail. Mated pairings are forced together to make it work. A lot of us try, and he pretended in the beginning, but that only lasted a few months.”
I mull over her words and what she’s previously told me about how she ended up here. Fated mates aren’t allowed to be with anyone else. “But…” I hedge, not wanting to call the only person who’s attempted to befriend me a liar, but something doesn’t add up.
“But why would he keep shunning me when he can’t technically be with her? Good fucking question. I can’t seem to get it out of him.”
I shake my head. “That’s fucked up.”
“Truly,” she snarls.
I bite my lip. At least I don’t have to contend with another girl in the picture. For all Mia’s bravado, that must hurt like a bitch. Whatever our brains might want, our wolves—our very nature—will only want our fated mate. “I mean, they can’t be… together,” I say, putting it delicately. I’m well aware of this shifter rule since it’s the very reason I’m looked down on.
“They’re not supposed to be fucking, but who knows? I’m not there to spy on them.”
“Christ, Mia. That means—” I cut myself off. I don’t need to tell a girl I’ve known a whole five minutes that she’s going to end up Feral. I’m sure she already knows. “How long do you get here? To make it work before…?”