‘What do you mean? Who?’ Dan sat up in his chair.
‘Him. The guy. Jaz. The rapist. I just saw him.’ Her voice hushed as she put her hand around the phone to keep the call private.
‘What? When? Where are you? Are you safe?’ Dan said getting to his feet.
‘Yes, sorry. I’m in the Bullring. In Pret. Downstairs.’
‘Where is he now? I’ll come get you. I’m in the office so it’s not far.’ Dan said walking towards the door and taking his jacket from the coat stand.
‘I’m fine honestly. I don’t think he saw me. It was just a shock. Sorry. I’m really sorry. You don’t need me being mental.’ Emma said
‘It’s ok honestly, I just want you safe. Are there people around you now?’
‘Yes. It’s busy. He went outside I think. I’m sure it was him. Don’t come and get me, I’m fine. I just panicked.’ Emma said, her breathing calming.
‘Honestly its ok, I can come get you if you want.’
‘No really I’m fine. I’m sorry, really sorry.’ Emma said starting to feel foolish.
‘Ok well I want you to come to the hotel, I can leave early and meet you there. Will you do that for me please?’ He asked.
‘That’s not needed. I can just get the train home. He’s gone now. I was just being stupid. Dumb bitch.’ Emma blushed as she realised how crazy she must sound. She knew she would ruin what they had, she always did and this was the tipping point.
‘I want you to come to mine for me. I don’t like you upset and I want to see you. Get a taxi and I’ll pay for it, then I can run you back tomorrow.’ Dan said.
‘I don’t have anything to stop over though.’
‘Pop into Boots and buy some toiletries and what nots then get a taxi. I’ll stay on the phone if you like.’
‘No it’s ok, I’m surrounded by people. I’m safe, it was just a shock you know? I’ve not been like this for ages. I think it’s because we have been talking about it.’ She said.
‘I know baby, don’t worry. Just pick up some things and get a taxi here. I wasn’t doing anything tonight. We can get room service or something. Ok?’ Dan said.
‘That sounds lovely. I’m really sorry, I don’t want you thinking I’m a fruitloop.’
‘You aren’t a fruitloop. It must have been a shock. Just get the stuff and get over here. Do you want me to stay on the line?’ Dan asked.
‘No no it’s ok. I’ll get the stuff and come over.’
‘Will you call me if anything happens?’
‘Yes.’ Emma said.
‘Promise?’
‘Yes.’ Emma said.
‘Say it properly though.’ Dan said.
‘Really? Ok promise I’ll get the stuff, get a taxi and call if anything happens.’
‘Thank you. See you soon and call me ok?’
‘Yes. Thank you, I’m sorry.’ Emma said.
Emma ended the call and Dan lay his iPhone back on the desk. He sat back in his chair and shook his head. It was possible she’d seen him. Quite often you bumped into someone you knew when you weren’t expecting it but was he following her? Dan couldn’t believe he was following her, it was probably some guy who looked a lot like him. A small Asian guy in Birmingham was not too uncommon after all. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk and pressed his forehead against his steepled hands. Dan massaged his eyes as he tried to imagine what it would be like to have a real-life bogeyman somewhere nearby. Even if he wasn’t hunting her there was always the chance of bumping into him. It would be like bumping into some crazy ex but worse, some crazy ex who did the worst thing you could imagine to you and could do it again.
Dan knew that Emma couldn’t rest while he was out there and Dan knew he couldn’t rest while Emma suffered.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
‘I saw him before you know?’ Emma said as they lay on the hotel bed.
‘When?’ Dan said.
‘It was a couple of years ago. I was in Euston station. Heading down into the subway, planning which shops to go to first and there he was. I just glanced across and he was coming up the up escalator.’
‘Jesus, what happened?’ Dan asked.
‘I just froze. I knew it was him right away. He saw me and knew he knew me but didn’t know why. He looked at me and stared. It had been a few years and I’d changed a bit but he definitely knew he knew me. I just froze on the escalator, I couldn’t move as it was one of those busy times when everyone just plods along behind each other and everyone was pushing past. He turned to watch me as we moved away from each other, I don’t know if he was thinking about saying hello or what but I just tried to hide. Then when I got to the bottom I just pushed past everyone to the nearest line and jumped on the first train that came past.’
‘Did he follow you?’ Dan asked.
‘I don’t know. I got off at Victoria and got on another train, then got off at another station and onto another. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, I just wanted to be away from there and if he was following me I wanted to make it difficult. He wasn’t following me, I’m sure of it now but at the time I just needed to be away. I ended up in Greenwich. I hadn’t been there before and I just ended up walking around the market but then the food smell made me feel queasy so I walked out and stood by the river by a big boat.’
‘The Cutty Sark?’ He asked.
‘I don’t know, it was just a big boat but not in the water. Something important though.’ Emma said.
‘Yeah it’s The Cutty Sark.’
‘Ok, I don’t know, I just stood there for I don’t know how long just looking at the water. Wondering how many people had jumped in or been thrown in. Then it started to rain and I headed back to the tube. It had been a few hours and I was sure he wasn’t following me so I went back to Euston and got the next train home.’ Emma said.
‘What about your shopping? Did you do any?’ He asked.
‘No it was too late then and I didn’t want to hang around. I just wanted to get home.’
‘That’s horrible. Is it just those two times?’ Dan asked.
‘That I’ve seen him? Yeah. But I sometimes imagine he’s followed me home and breaks in. To kind of finish off what he started. Stupid isn’t it that after all these years I’m still scared of him coming to get me when he can’t do much worse than he did before. I know it’s silly but when I’m alone I can’t watch horror films like Scream or anything like that because I imagine it’s me inside and him outside. It makes me feel like such a stupid bitch to still be upset and then I get upset that I’m upset, you know?’ She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffed.
‘It’s not silly baby.’ Dan squeezed her as he spoke. ‘Not silly at all. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be honest. I guess it’s like being bullied and wondering if today is the day they’ll come after you again. Something like that anyway.’
‘Kind of it is, it’s just not knowing where he is and that he could find me like I found him. Then what would happen if he broke in. I don’t think he’s the type to break in and do that but the thoughts always there you know?’ Emma said.
‘I do. He isn’t the kind to break in, he’s the kind to trick kids into it. He hasn’t even got the balls to stand in a dark alley where someone could fight back, just lurks around online taking advantage of naivety rather than darkness. Wanker. I hate him you know?’
‘I know you do but there’s no need. He can’t hurt you and he doesn’t know where I am. It’s just me being daft.’ She said.
‘It’s not daft, you’ve got a reason to be upset about it. You know what, I don’t know if this would help but I’ve been thinking about it for some time now. What if we moved in together?’
‘What you mean like move in move in?’ Emma turned to face him.
‘Yes, like move in, move in. We’re together a lot anyway and I like having you with me. It would just be easier for one thing and you could cook me breakfast at a weekend.’ He smiled.
‘I don’t know abou
t the breakfasts every weekend, can’t have you getting fat but the rest of it sounds good to me. Are you sure though? I mean you could move in with me and we could see how it goes?’
‘Yes. I’ve thought about it for a few weeks now and it makes sense and I want us to live together. It would be nice. I can’t be with you every night but maybe if it works we can get somewhere together after a little while. So, what do you reckon?’ Dan asked.
She answered with a kiss, her arms around his neck pulling herself on to his lap.
‘I take that as a yes then. How about we get cosy under the covers?’
‘I’d love to.’ She said between kisses.
CHAPTER FIFTY
‘How about this one?’ Dan said gesturing towards the television with the remote. He already felt at home in Emma’s flat. He’d seen a quote once from a writer called Beth Revis. She said. ‘Sometimes home is a person.’ He hadn’t felt like he had a home since his childhood so the quote never made sense. Emma made him understand and he loved her for it.
‘Nah I’ve seen it.’ Emma said, she was nestled into him on the sofa, his arm around her neck.
‘Good isn’t it?’
‘I didn’t like it.’ Emma said.
‘Why not?’ Dan asked.
‘I don’t know. I didn’t like the kidnapping and then it just seemed to be farfetched.’
‘I can see not liking the kidnapping but I just liked it when he went around killing everyone.’ Dan said.
‘It just didn’t seem very believable to me but I guess things like that go on.’
‘Probably, I wouldn’t have thought so a few years ago but with Jimmy Saville and all that who knows what is going on.’
‘Exactly. It’s just not my kind of film.’ Emma said.
‘We can find something else to watch. Do you want more wine?’
‘I do, thank you.’ Emma said holding her glass out to Dan.
‘I need you to sit up then.’ Dan said trying to lift his arm from around her neck.
‘I’m comfy though.’ Emma said sitting up just enough for Dan to slip out from behind her. He stood, took her glass and walked into the kitchen. He picked up the bottle of red wine and filled their glasses.
‘Lift up then babe.’ Dan said sitting on the bed.
Emma tutted at having to move.
‘You’re a cheeky bugger.’ Dan said.
‘I know but I’m worth it.’ Emma said smiling as she sat forward.
‘I’m not sure about that, close but not sure.’ He sat beside her.
She settled back in against him. ‘Hmm well we’ll see about that. Maybe later you’ll get a reminder of just how good I am.’
‘I hope so but not yet, I’m still recovering from earlier.’ Dan said.
‘No stamina now you’re old.’
‘Cheeky cow.’ Dan said taking a sip of his wine.
‘Moo.’ Emma said giggling.
‘What do you fancy watching then?’
‘I don’t mind, something romantic maybe or funny.’
‘So, a romcom then?’ Dan said smiling.
‘Yeah, something like that.’
‘Ok.’ Dan said scrolling through the movies on screen. ‘I like revenge films.’
‘I guessed that, how come?’ Emma asked.
‘I don’t know really, I just like seeing people getting what’s coming to them.’ Dan said.
‘It’s a nice idea but not really practical, better to just put stuff behind you.’
‘I don’t get that though. Like with that Jaz guy, he didn’t do anything to me but I would love to go all Neeson on him.’ Dan said.
‘I can’t imagine you going all Neeson though, you’re too nice. I don’t think you have thug in you.’ Emma said snuggling in further to him.
‘Bitch please I’m thug for life. Seriously though I can’t stop thinking about doing something to that prick.’
‘Like what?’ Emma asked.
‘Well ideally go round and kick his teeth in but I’d settle for smashing his windows a few times or whatever. Just fuck with him. You know?’
‘Your shoes are too nice to be wasting on him.’ She said.
‘I’d buy some cheap ones or some Dr Martens like an old skinhead.’ Dan said.
‘You’ve got too much hair to carry off the skinhead look and they aren’t cheap.’
‘They’d be worth it though and would clean up afterwards or I’d just lob them in a river.’ Dan said.
‘So, you’d just go round knock on his door and proceed to kick his teeth in?’
‘Yeah, something like that. I’d love to see the look on his face. See how tough he is against someone who isn’t a little girl.’
‘I wasn’t that little you know?’ Emma said.
‘Yeah but you’re still small compared to me.’ Dan said.
‘True. Would you really go around and do that though?’ Emma asked.
‘Yes. I’d do more but I know you wouldn’t want it.’
‘That’s cute. It’s quite sexy too.’
‘What is? Me kicking someone’s teeth in?’ Dan asked.
‘Kind of yes but I wouldn’t want you to do it to some random guy. It’s just hot that you give a shit about me.’ Emma said
‘Of course I do. I hate the thought of him touching you and he needs something doing.’ Dan said.
‘I have thought about it you know?’
‘Getting him back?’ Dan asked.
‘Yeah, not sure what but I’ve thought about it. I used to think about killing him. Like a fantasy I had where I’d break into his house and kill him but let him know who I was before I did.’ Emma said as her fist clenched.
‘I’d kill him for you.’ Dan said
‘Don’t be daft. I wouldn’t want him killed really.’
‘I think you do though. I do and he didn’t do it to me so you must.’
‘Part of me does. I kind of hoped it’d bring an end to it, you know like he can’t hurt me again kind of thing.’ Emma said.
‘I know what you mean but for me it’d just be payback. Making sure he knew that he shouldn’t have done it.’
‘I think I’d like that but I couldn’t do it for real.’ Emma said.
‘I’d do it, you just have to let me.’ Dan took another sip of his wine, the warmth spreading through his body, his head continued to buzz.
She turned and moved so she was straddling his legs. ‘Would you really hurt him for me?’
‘I would kill him for you.’ Dan said looking her straight in the eye.
Emma leaned forward and kissed him, her breasts squashed against his chest as she leaned in. He took hold of her hips and pulled her against him.
‘Do you mean it? Really?’ Emma said pulling her lips from his.
‘I do. If you let me I would. I want to. I can’t stand him getting away with hurting you. I want you to let me hurt him for you.’
She smiled and leaned in to kiss him again, their lips staying together this time. His tongue flicked hers as they turned to lay on it. They continued into the night, Netflix patiently waiting to know which film they wanted to watch.
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
‘It was fun last night, but you know we can’t do it really?’ Emma said.
‘Why not?’ Dan said.
‘It’s too risky and we wouldn’t get away with it.’
‘It’s risky but I’m sure we could do it without getting caught.’ Dan said.
‘Maybe but it’s too big a risk and I don’t think I could go through with it anyway, I’d be too scared.’ Emma said.
‘I think it would be scary but I’d do most of it. I just can’t let him get away with it.’
‘Neither do I but I don’t want to become a murderer over him.’ Emma said.
‘I can see that, but we’ve got to do something.’
‘I heard somewhere that the best revenge is to have a nice life, how about we try to do that?’ Emma asked.
‘I heard that too but what if revenge is what you need to live w
ell? Anyway, he has it coming.’ Dan said.
‘Maybe but I can’t risk you going to prison for something like that, we should just let it go.’
‘If we went to the police then maybe I could let them deal with it but he can’t get off with it completely.’ Dan said.
‘I know what you’re saying and I understand, but I just want to forget about it.’
‘What if you can’t forget about it? It’s happened and ignoring it won’t make it unhappen so I don’t think it’s something I can just let go.’ Dan said.
‘But doing something to him won’t make it unhappen either, if unhappen is even a word.’ Emma said.
‘I don’t know if it is or not but I don’t know a word that works better. Do you really want us to do nothing?’
‘Yes. I do. It was a nice fantasy over a glass of wine but in the real world we can’t just go around killing people.’ She said.
‘Ok well I can’t do it alone, so I guess that’s that.’
‘Yes. Thank you. I’d just prefer to forget about it and just be us.’ Emma said feeling disappointed but relieved.
‘Ok, then we’ll try that. If you can put it behind you then I can try. It didn’t happen to me so it should be easy enough.’ Dan said.
‘Thanks, I appreciate it you know?’
‘I know you do babe. I just struggle with anyone hurting you.’ He said.
‘I know you do and I like that, I like you caring about me. I just can’t let you kill someone for me. Ok?’ Emma said.
‘Yes ok, but I need a distraction to take my mind off it.’
‘Oh really, what would that be? Emma said turning to face Dan.
‘I don’t know but my necks really stiff.’ Dan said leaning his head from side to side.
‘Are you hinting at a neck rub?’ Emma asked.
‘Well a neck rub or a blow job, both work well.’ Dan said.
‘I bet they do. So, which is it?’
‘Well I do have a very busy mind that needs distracting, so maybe both.’ He said smiling.
‘Both. I don’t know about that. Let’s start with your neck and see if that helps.’
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
‘What’s wrong?’ Dan said watching as Emma walked back into the bathroom.
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