by Liz K. Lorde
“Do you know who was behind it?”
“I’ve got too many enemies to be sure. Or I might not have even been the target at all…”
“What do you mean?”
“A…a friend of mine. He was killed. And we were on the job for Lawson.” Leo sighs. “It wouldn’t surprise me if someone was gunning for Lawson himself... I’m no one special.”
Somehow, the news doesn’t really soothe me, and I look out over the night sky beyond the window.
“You’re special to me…” I say absentmindedly, and Leo chuckles.
“Oh, and I’ll be special to your family, once they realize you’re not where you should be, and since everyone at the wedding saw you last when you were with me.”
I hadn’t even thought about that.
Fuck, what is my dad going to do when he realizes?
His possible reactions run through my mind—he might assume I’m just at a wild party, or he might be genuinely worried for me. Would he put out an appeal and offer a reward for my return? Maybe he’d head up a search party…
But thinking about my dad trying to look for me raises a new question that I hadn’t considered before.
Do I even want to be found?
I sit up from Leo’s chest, pulling myself out of his arms and looking out over the garden as I think. Leo quickly—as quick as he can, with his stitches—sits up beside me, putting his hand on my thigh and looking at me in concern.
“Kristen? What’s wrong?”
I turn around to look at him, staring into Leo’s dark eyes for a moment.
“Run away with me.”
“What?” Leo looks at me in confusion. He can’t quite believe what I just said.
I know it’s a risk—I know it sounds really fucking crazy. My track record of gambling has never been great, and usually, risks don’t ever work out in my favor.
But I swear, this time it’s different.
This time, I know I’m going to win big.
“You heard me. Run away with me.”
“Can we do that?”
“Of course, we can,” I say with a laugh. “Why couldn’t we? We’ve got your bike, and my family has money—”
“I’m not taking your dad’s money.”
“Then we’ll figure out how to get cash some other way. I’ll work as a waitress, and you can find a job in a supermarket.”
Leo snorts at the idea. I can’t imagine him wearing a smock and scanning groceries, either, but I’m just spit-balling right now.
“If it’s not safe, we don’t have to stay here. We can go anywhere we want.”
“I could sell my house…” Leo nods, the amused smirk in his face slowly vanishing as his eyes drift off to think about the possibilities. “Put the important stuff in storage under a fake name…I’d leave all this behind in a heartbeat.”
“We’d be free, Leo. You and me and the open road.”
“If I’ve got you and the open road, I don’t need a house,” he muses, looking at me. “But…don’t you want more than that, Kristen? You’re not exactly, ah…”
I smile at him, narrowing my eyes as he tries to be tactful.
“Low maintenance,” I finish for him. “I’ll manage. I’ve always wanted to see how the other half lives, you know. Could be fun.”
Leo captures my hands with his, and he holds my fingers to his chest so that I can feel the pounding of his heart through his sternum.
“I’ll be at home wherever I’m with you. Wherever we are.”
I feel my heart swell, and I lean in. We rest our foreheads against each other, and I shut my eyes as the fantasy runs away with us.
“But Kristen…are you sure you want to do this?”
“Why wouldn’t I be sure?”
“Because you’d have to leave everything behind. You wouldn’t be able to have all the comforts of home that you deserve…there’s a chance you might not see your family or your friends again for a long time.”
I lift my head and hold Leo’s cheek in my hand. He leans into the touch.
“I don’t need them. They all think I’m just some dumb party girl, and I’m sick of playing that role. I want to be with you, I want to be myself—whoever that is, wherever the road takes us.”
Leo smiles, and I swear I watch a weight lift off his shoulders.
“If you’re sure about this, then I need to show you something.”
“What?”
“You’ll see.”
He pushes off the sofa and unsteadily rises to his feet. I’m by his side in an instant, helping him and letting him lead me from the sofa towards the door under the staircase.
Leo retrieves the keys and opens the door.
“Oh, wow…”
Chapter 19
Leo
I can’t believe I’m about to do this.
A couple of hours ago, I would have rather tied Kristen up and locked her away than let her see what’s behind the door under my stairs.
But it’s funny how getting shot really gives you a fresh perspective.
I know. It’s cliché.
The key is stiff as it slips into the lock—it’s not exactly like I open it very often—but with a forceful twist of my wrist, the barrel gives way. The unburdening of my secrets is heralded by a heavy ‘click’ that cuts through the tension in the room.
The door swings open, and I lean in to flick the switch. The light flickers on slowly, and a golden glow radiates from the naked bulb. It bathes Kristen’s face, illuminating the spark in her eyes as she realizes what she’s looking at.
“Oh, wow…”
For a second, a stab of guilt jolts through my body. But I brush it off, considering that the pain radiated from where a bullet was previously occupying my body.
Perhaps running away into the night with Kristen isn’t what a doctor would recommend. But I’ve got no time to lay back and enjoy some bedrest.
If I don’t leave tonight, I’ll die under Lawson’s thumb. Whether it’s tomorrow or in two years or ten.
It’s now or never.
I know what’s in the room in front of us—I’ve tortured myself looking over it. So, I watch Kristen’s face carefully as she studies each object. She steps forward, stepping over the threshold.
Her fingers trace over thick stacks of hundred dollar bills. It’s nowhere near the two million I’d been saving, but it’s no meager sum either.
Her eyes glance over my collection of guns—the handguns I’ve been keeping, even a rifle. The bullets are stored in the drawers under the cases.
But she can probably assume that.
But as Kristen follows the assortment of weapons and cash and some minor relics from my past, she inevitably reaches the source of her amazement.
This is what I had been hiding from her earlier.
It’s a relic. An artifact from another life—another Leo.
From back when I was still a kid and before Oberon Lawson had ever sunk his claws into me.
“What is it?”
Kristen motions to the woman’s motorcycle jacket hanging on the wall. The black leather is practically immaculate, but the shoulder and elbow armor show subtle cracks from use. The purple silk lining peeks out from the folded down collar.
It’s exactly the same as it was when I saw it last.
When it was left to me.
Beneath the jacket, on a small table, sits a sleek black motorcycle helmet with a reflective, one way visor. Not a single speck of dust sits on the polished Kevlar.
Last but not least, next to them all, is a photograph in a silver frame.
It shows a woman—wearing that same jacket and holding the shiny black helmet under her arm. In the other, sitting on her hip, is a little baby boy—dark curls haphazardly fall from his head and over his eyes, but nevertheless, he grins a toothy grin, a large gap smack center.
On her hip sits me.
“Leo…is that…?”
I nod my head and bite my lip somewhat. I’ve never told anyone about her before—
I’d never found anyone worth telling.
But Kristen needs to know.
“That’s my mom.”
“And is that you?”
“Yeah, that’s me,” I say, chuckling, despite myself. “What you can’t see in that picture is the bicycle she’s teaching me to ride, painted to match her motorbike…I used to daydream that, one day, we’d end up riding together.”
I can see Kristen trying to piece everything together, so that she doesn’t have to ask the inevitable question.
But it’s exactly that: inevitable.
“What happened to her?”
In my head, I run over all the different ways I could phrase it. No one’s ever gotten to know about my mother—much less been able to interrogate me about her life and significance to me. It feels odd to talk about her…but also freeing.
I feel like I’ve locked away a part of me—that kid in the photo—so that I could become the man that Lawson wanted me to be. But now I get to set him free.
“She died. When I was young.” I stare past Kristen and focus on the photo.
Looking at my mom there, it seems impossible that anyone so full of love—so full of life—was capable of dying. That’s how I felt at the time.
Yet here I am.
“And then you went to live with your dad?”
“That’s funny.” I laugh dryly. “But no…my dad was a deadbeat. I have no idea who is. Never wanted to know.”
“Then what happened?”
“After she passed, I was taken in by another one of Lawson’s ‘made men’. A guy from his inner circle and his family…but I was practically groomed from childhood to be his right-hand man one day.”
“Oh, Leo, I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be.” I shrug her off. “Lawson might have taken a lot of things from me—he robbed me of my chance of being a normal guy—but they can’t take away the last few memories I have of her.”
I sigh and reach out to take Kristen’s hand. I pull her against my chest, wincing as her body gently brushes against the bullet hole.
“And I won’t let them take you from me either.”
She buries her face into my chest, and I lean down for a moment, resting my nose on the top of her head and taking a breath. She smells soft and clean after the shower—despite my interruptions.
I do not deserve to have a girl like Kristen. I never imagined that such a perfect woman existed.
But I’m glad to be proven wrong, and I hope that no one ever realizes just how lucky I am—or else they’ll try to take it away from me.
“If you’re really sure about this, then I’ll sell all of it. The house and all my possessions. They’ll be gone,” I whisper into her hair.
I don’t know why I’m whispering. It’s not like Lawson can hear our conversation.
“But I won’t leave this behind. If you’re going to come with me, then you need to take her helmet and jacket.”
“Are…are you sure?” Kristen pulls back and looks up at me, on her face a look of disbelief.
But there’s a heaviness in my heart that tells me I’m doing the right thing.
“I’m sure.” I nod. “If she ever got the chance to meet you, I know she’d want you to have it.”
“Oh my god, Leo.” Kristen looks over her shoulder at the jacket that hangs on the wall.
I already know it’s going to fit her perfectly. All that’s left to do now is pack a bag of clothes and grab all the cash we can find before we set off.
I thought by spending that two million dollars to save Kristen, I was throwing away my second chance. I thought I was about to kiss my chance of a new life goodbye.
Perhaps getting shot and riding off into the night wasn’t quite the future I had in mind when I imagined starting a new life. There’s no chance of an early retirement in the life I’m about to choose.
But when I’m with Kristen, it definitely doesn’t feel like I’m working either. I won’t be able to put my feet up, but I’d run forever it meant I got the chance to be with her.
When the bags are packed, stuffed to the brim and straining with stacks of bills and enough clothes to last us both, I turn to Kristen. The closet door still sits open, the light shining on the jacket and helmet.
I stop and motion to her. “Go on, take it.”
Kristen takes the jacket from where it hangs on the wall and shrugs it onto her shoulders. It fits to her form like a glove, but as she takes the helmet and begins to walk towards the front door, she pauses.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, looking at my bike in the driveway, sitting patiently in the still early morning air.
“We can’t leave her behind.”
“What?”
Kristen turns suddenly, walking back towards the empty closet. I watch her curiously as she takes the photo frame and turns it around, popping open the back and lifting the photograph from where it rested. She slips it into her inside pocket.
She turns back to me, smiling contentedly, and as she walks towards the door, I pull her into my arms.
I can’t help myself. I press my lips down onto hers, holding her at the waist as she melts into my body and lifts a hand to hold onto my cheek.
“God, I fucking love you.”
Kristen smiles at me. “I love you, too.”
I let her go but slap her on the ass as she walks out of the door and toward the motorbike. Kristen giggles, and she climbs on behind me.
I kick the engine into life, and it roars in the silent midnight air.
“I want to be in a new town by sunrise, and I want to never look back.”
I smile. “Then what’re we waiting for?”
Chapter 20
Kristen
I’ve made a lot of important, world-changing choices over the last few months. Starting with leaving my whole life behind for a fresh start with Leo and ending with telling the waitress that I would like extra maple syrup with my waffles.
For the first time in my life, I can safely say that I regret nothing. There’s nowhere else I would rather be than in this diner just off the freeway.
Yet my resounding happiness for my lot in life does not stop me from whispering:
“Holy shit.”
How do I break this to Leo? My mind spins into a thousand different questions, and I’m momentarily left reeling. But I’m forced back to reality when I hear another woman’s voice echo over the top of the bathroom stall.
“Are you okay?”
I clear my throat, caught off guard. “Oh, yeah, no, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? Do you need change for the tampon machine?”
Despite myself, I smile. “No, I promise I’m good.”
I quickly flush the toilet and wash my hands. Though I’ve done little to change my appearance, I barely recognize myself in the mirror anymore.
Living on the road with Leo for these last few months has made me into a new person. Or, at least, I no longer need to pretend to be the person I used to be.
I dry my hands and walk into the restaurant before the kind woman can come out and offer me support. I’ve never really been good at dealing with people who are persistently helpful.
I guess that’s because a lot of people I know wouldn’t even piss on me if I was burning to death. But that’s not the point.
Late morning sun floods in through the windows, and, as I return back to our window booth, I watch Leo. He’s staring absentmindedly out of the window, watching as cars pass.
He cradles the coffee in his hands, and he looks peaceful.
I can’t believe that I’m just about to ruin that for him. But I have to tell him—I can’t hide something like this from him. Not for very long, anyway.
He’s so fucking hot. The wave of emotion that hits me when I look at Leo almost knocks me off my feet.
I know it’s cheesy, but god, I love him.
I really hope he takes this well.
As I sit opposite him, Leo’s head instantly turns to look at me. He studies my face for a mome
nt, blowing across the top of his coffee cup, before he tilts his head to the side.
“Kristen, what’s wrong?”
“I…”
Why am I at a loss for words?
I’m happy. I’m out of my mind with excitement, and I can’t wait for Leo to share in that with me. Yet I’m stunned—I’m still in shock.
“Kristen, you’re scaring m—”
“I’m pregnant!”
I end up half-shouting, but no one else in the busy diner seems to hear us.
Leo’s eyes widen until I can see myself in his pupils. His jaw falls slack, and slowly, he lowers his coffee to the table. He leans towards me, grabbing my hands and holding them so hard, his knuckles start to go white.
“Are you…are you sure?”
I laugh nervously and squeeze his hands back. “Of course, I’m sure.”
“Holy shit.”
“I know.”
I can’t stop laughing. It bubbles out of my throat as Leo sits back a little bit and takes a sip of his coffee. I can see his mind racing as he stares out of the window and on to the horizon.
“Fucking hell,” he says, shaking his head in wonder.
“You’re going to be a dad, Leo.”
“Fucking hell.”
I take my own cup of coffee in my hands and cradle it—I ordered a decaf because I already had suspicions when we walked into the diner. But now I know it’s going to be the last coffee I have in a while, so I should savor it.
“I…I’m going to be a dad.”
I smile at him as he says the words slowly, trying to come to terms with it in his own mind. I knew this would be huge for him ever since he told me about his mom. He keeps the picture of her in his wallet now, and she’s always with us.
I bet Leo never dreamed he’d get a chance to make up for what he lacked growing up. No doubt he’s afraid—but that’s okay, because I’m fucking terrified, too.
We’ve done harder things.
Only a few months ago, we abandoned our entire lives just to be with each other and start afresh on the open road. We did that in the space of an evening—now we have nine months to prepare for the arrival for a baby.
We’ll be the best goddamn parents you’ve ever seen.
“You’re going to be such a great dad.”