I just had to work out how to throw Matt onto Lisa the most organic way.
Since Wade, Lisa had been the kind to head in the opposite direction when someone came on too strong. The stronger the come-on, the faster she went. So how was I going to make this happen as quickly as possible without her heading for the proverbial hills – because, let’s face it, our closest hills were pretty darn close.
Lisa turned and smiled to me. I semi-jogged over.
“Hey, Matt,” I said, forcing my warmest, most welcoming smile.
He nodded. “Norah.”
“To what do we owe the pleasure?” I asked him as I nonchalantly put my books away.
“Lis and I were just chatting about rehearsals.”
“We were talking about Christian,” Lisa said.
“Ah, bonding?” I asked, feeling excited.
Bonding over a mutual dislike of a person was an excellent start to a relationship. Said the person with the least amount of relationship knowledge. Although, I’d have said my parents had the most, and look how that turned out for them.
Matt smiled and, while it did nothing for me, I could see why some people might like it. “Something like that.”
“Isn’t it nice when we have things in common with people?” I said happily. Maybe a little too happily, admittedly.
A confused and bemused frown crossed Lisa’s face for a moment. “Sure. If you like having things in common with the whole school.”
Well, that was less good.
“He not well liked by anyone, then?”
Matt grinned. “When he deigns to turn up to rehearsals, he thinks he’s so famous we’ll all run to his schedule.”
Lisa nodded. “We can only work on scenes he’s in, because as if Christian has the time to sit around while we work on other scenes.”
“So, you work on those when he doesn’t deign to show up?” It came out more of a question than a statement.
Lisa and Matt exchanged a rueful smile.
“In theory,” Lisa said.
I liked theories. “In practice?”
“We do whatever needs doing,” Matt said. “Mr Rankin is fully fed up with him, but has already had all the posters printed and the paper picked it up, so he can hardly replace him now.”
Lisa touched his arm and looked into his eyes. “You do it so much better. It sucks.”
Matt broke out in a pink cheeked-smile as he stammered and looked down. “Oh, thanks, Lis.”
“I mean it,” she said. “Plus, our chemistry is much more believable.”
“Matty!” someone called from down the hall and Matt turned to them.
He kicked his head in greeting. I saw his hand light on Lisa’s elbow. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later?”
Lisa nodded. “Yep, will do.”
Matt jogged off and met up with his mates.
I turned to Lisa, feeling the expectant grin wide on my face.
“What?” she asked me, looking me over like I’d got that third head.
“Tell me more about this chemistry,” I told her.
Lisa smirked. “Stage chemistry.”
“Oh, really?” I asked, still smiling.
She was fighting a laugh. “Yes, really.”
“That’s what that was? Stage chemistry?”
She nodded as she opened her locker. “Yes.”
“Stage chemistry, off-stage.”
Lisa threw me a smile. “We’re just friends.”
Oh, fine line. How I hated you.
“Okay,” I conceded, my hands up. But I left the grin in place. “Whatever you say, girl.”
Lisa nodded. “Damn right, whatever I say.”
I’d started the dialogue. At least, I thought I had. It opened the way for teasing and random mentions anyway, so I was going to have to consider that a success and hope I was right. And maybe, just maybe, it had put the idea of her and Matt being more in her head. Even if she didn’t believe it now, I had firsthand experience of how just a single grain of sand’s worth of an idea could change everything you thought you thought about a person.
Chapter Fourteen
With three and a half months until Christmas, we were running out of time to spend as a family.
Which was a shame, but was giving me no added incentive to spend time with my family. Not the way we were crumbling from the inside out.
I walked downstairs on Wednesday evening to find my parents arguing in the kitchen. Actually arguing. Not even trying to hide it.
“…God’s sake, Elise. Yes. Okay? Yes,” Dad said exasperatedly.
“It’s my mother’s birthday, not the inquisition,” she snapped.
“I already told you yes. What more do you want?”
There was such venom in both their voices. The kind of venom I was sure wasn’t supposed to be there when two people loved each other.
My eyes were hot. My stomach churned. My throat felt like it was closing up.
“A little less antagonism would be awesome, Owen. Thanks.”
Dad put his hands on the counter. “I have a splitting headache, Elise. I’m not sleeping well. I’m not trying to antagonise you. I am just trying not to throw up.”
The way my stomach was behaving, he wasn’t the only one.
Mum scowled. “If you’re feeling that shitty, why don’t you go and lie down then?”
“Because I…” Dad paused when he saw me. “Norah.”
Mum looked at me as well and I saw the guilt flash momentarily on both their faces.
“Uh…am I interrupting something?” I asked.
They looked at each other, like that was enough for them to solidify their stories.
Mum shook her head. “No. Dad and I were just…”
“Talking about Nan’s birthday dinner.”
“And your father’s not feeling well.”
Dad shot her a ‘shut up’ look like he thought they were doing so well up until that point.
I nodded.
I was probably imagining things, but the air around them felt icy. I failed to resist the urge to wrap my arms around myself.
I nodded again.
“Did you want something?” Mum asked.
I shook my head. “Uh, no. No. I was…just wandering.”
She gave me a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Okay then.”
We all stood in awkward silence for a few minutes.
I pointed over my shoulder. “I’m just going to…”
They both nodded quickly.
“Okay.”
“Good.”
I nodded once more, then backed out of there as fast as my legs would carry me.
Instead of heading up the stairs and back to my room, I let myself out the front door.
As I pulled my phone out of my pocket, I registered that no one noticed I’d left the house on a school night. My parents didn’t follow me to tell me to get back inside or wonder where I was going. And, if Koby had noticed, he would have just applauded my rebelliousness, late though he thought it was.
Norah
I need burgers
He replied before I climbed into my car.
Wade
Is that just a fact or an invitation?
Norah
Self-presevation.
Wade
Things bad?
Norah
I was more referring to the fact that it’s not only sad to do a lonesome Maccas run in the middle of the night, but potentially dangerous.
Norah
Also, things aren’t great.
Wade
Pick me up?
Norah
Already on my way.
I turned on the car and headed straight for Wade’s place. He was waiting for me by the time I got there. I pulled up and unlocked the doors for him.
“I’m tempted to try a Fillet O Fish,” he said as he put his seatbelt on.
I looked at him. “Excuse me
?”
“Are you averse to the randomness or the suggestion?”
I grinned as I drove away. “Both?”
“Both is good.”
“Does good earn me an explanation?”
“I feel like I should extend my horizons. Get out of my box. Do things that aren’t so comfortable and safe.”
“Next, you’ll suggest we go swimming with sharks or something.”
“I believe that’s called a typical day at an Aussie beach.”
I snorted and nodded. “A Fillet O Fish, though?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yeah. Why? Bad idea?”
I shrugged. “I’m just remembering the last time.”
“You don’t know that was the last time.”
“Was it?”
“Well…yes.”
“If memory serves, Lisa was holding your hair back for hours.”
He snorted. “It sure didn’t agree with me.”
The silence was full of nostalgia as we pulled into the Maccas carpark.
“What would we do without the twenty-four-hour places, eh?” Wade asked and I laughed.
“Probably stay home and not feel guilty.”
“You’ll be eighteen – an adult – in like…what? A month? Less than. You don’t have to feel guilty about leaving the house after dark.”
I snorted. “I meant about eating so much junk food it makes me almost hurl.”
“Ah.” Wade nodded. “A fair reason for guilt.”
I had quite a few fair reasons for guilt just then that adding ‘excessive junk food consumption’ seemed like nothing. All right. I had one reason. It was a pretty big reason, though. Like, 5’10” big.
We made quick work of ordering, fighting over whose card was read by the terminal first, and dropped into seats in the back of the restaurant.
“So,” Wade started. “You wanna talk about it?”
I shrugged. “Not really.”
He nodded. “Cool. How’s musical rehearsals coming?”
I frowned at him. “Did you forget who you were talking to?”
“No. It’s just something we have in common.”
“What’s that then?”
“Pretending to care about Lisa’s musicals.”
I fought a smile. “I do care.”
“Is that why you fell asleep last year?”
“I did not fall asleep.”
“You did. I saw you.”
“You were there?”
He nodded. “Of course I was.”
Had I got it wrong? Was Lisa not the only one of them still hung up on their relationship?
“Why?” I asked.
“If I still care about you, what makes you think I stopped caring about Lisa?”
I didn’t know if that was supposed to be as simple as he made it sound or if there were a million layers to unpack in that.
I fiddled with some fries. “Can I ask you something, Wade?”
“Shoot.”
“If you still care about her, why did you dump her?”
“Do you really want to talk about the nitty gritty details of my relationship with your best friend?”
Well, no. I didn’t. But I sort of felt compelled to make sure I wasn’t inadvertently walking into one of the most convoluted love-triangles known to man.
“I just want to make sure you’re not…” I didn’t know how to put it into words.
Like he could read my mind, he shook his head. “Not like that.”
“Okay, then.”
His seriousness was ruined by the quirk of his lips. “Is this because we kissed?” he teased.
I frowned. “No.” I looked down. “Maybe.”
He chuckled and I looked up at him through my eyelashes.
“What?” I asked. “A girl just likes to know where she stands.”
It was bad enough that Lisa was still carrying a torch and I’d kissed him. It would be way worse if I’d kissed him when he was still carrying a torch as well. Although, one would be forgiven for wondering why in the hell they weren’t together if they were both still into each other. Never hurt to make sure, though.
“I’ll take that as a good thing,” he said. His tone was mostly cocky self-confidence, but there was an underlying hopefulness in it that made me smile.
I didn’t want to know the exact reason he wanted to take it as a good thing. I was okay just knowing he did.
When we’d finished eating, it seemed ridiculous to hang around Maccas any longer than necessary, so I drove us back to his house.
As he was getting out of the car, he paused. He looked at me, his bottom lip caught in his teeth.
“My parents aren’t home tonight…”
“Are you inviting me in?” I laughed.
He grinned and it was freaking sexy. “Not like that. I have movies and popcorn if you…weren’t ready to go home yet. That’s all.”
I nodded. “Really?”
“Really. Totally innocent. Movie. Popcorn. Avoiding home. If you want.”
That sounded nice. It was almost eleven, but it wasn’t like I was sleeping well anyway so I wouldn’t be any more tired at school the next day than usual if we did hang out for a bit longer.
I nodded and shut off the car. “That wouldn’t be terrible.”
He laughed loud and happy. “Well, if that’s not a rave review, I don’t know what is.”
I followed him to the front door and he let us in.
“So, where are they?” I asked.
“Parents?”
I nodded.
“Mum had a conference in Claire. Dad’s gone with her. They’re making a thing of it and back on Sunday.”
“Sounds nice.”
He chuckled. “Yeah. Real nice leaving your eighteen-year-old son home alone like two months out from his final exams.”
“They clearly think you can handle it.”
“Oh, I can. I’m just surprised they thought so.”
We went through to the living room.
“Who at school would believe I was willingly in Wade Phillips’ house for movies and popcorn,” I said with a smile.
He stopped and looked at me. “Why not?”
“Why not?” I laughed and he nodded. “Um, how about because we don’t like each other?” Although, that was clearly not exactly true, was it?
“Maybe I do like you,” he said.
“You do like me?”
He nodded. “You’re smart. You’re sarcastically witty. You’re gorgeous–”
I looked at him incredulously. “Is this the part where I suddenly realise I’m beautiful but never knew it?” I asked, that sarcasm in full force. It wasn’t entirely true: I didn’t care what other people thought, I was beautiful in my own way.
Now he looked confused. “What? I don’t even know what that means.”
“That stupid trope where the girl thinks she’s super plain and the super hunky hero comes along and is for some reason the only guy to ever notice she’s actually the most beautiful thing alive?”
“Well, there’s a stupid.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Not happening, buddy.”
One side of his lips kicked up in that smirk I was still telling myself I didn’t love. “I know for a fact I’m not the only guy to notice you’re a good-looking woman. But…”
I rolled my eyes at the utter cheesiness he was displaying. “But what, Wade?”
“But there’s a difference between what makes you beautiful on the outside, what makes you beautiful on the inside, and what I see when I look at you.”
I tried and failed to wrap my head around that. “Well, that is either a very backhanded insult or–”
“I’m saying it doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside. It doesn’t matter that, despite all your sarcasm and the cynical front you put on for people, you actually have a kind and warm heart. None of that matters because there’s something else about you, Norah. You’ve got t
his look in your eyes that hints at how brilliant your mind is and makes me need to know more. Your cheeky smile has me wanting to kiss it right off your lips. And your laugh makes me desperately try to be funny just so I can hear it again.”
Well, blow me down. You’d have to be one stone-cold bitch for that not to do something to your beautiful insides. In fact, it did a lot of somethings. Too many somethings for me to know what to say. But Wade continued.
“And it’s not just that. I don’t really know how to describe it, it’s just this…” He, Wade Phillips, seemed at a loss for words.
But I remembered what I’d thought of him at the party a couple of weeks ago. “Vibe,” I offered.
He looked at me, more smile in his eyes than at his lips. “Yes. Vibe. You’ve got this vibe that… Well, it speaks to my vibe. And it’s nearly enough to make even me believe in something deeper.”
Something about the way he said that made me release a breath in relief. I hadn’t even known I’d been holding it but, now it was out, I realised I’d been terrified about where this had been going. At the same time it was amazingly wonderful to hear, I didn’t want this to be some grand declaration of love.
Because presumably, if he still didn’t believe in something deeper, he wasn’t about to tell me he wanted us to do anything official and long-term. Further presuming that there was a potential anything between us to happen. Honestly, I had to admit that sometimes I felt the potential was there – those times we seemed to connect on some emotional level and we understood each other – and other times I was starkly reminded he was a shallow wanker who was only interested in physical gratification and enjoyed pushing my buttons. Which I somehow, didn’t hate.
“Norah?” he said slowly.
I blinked and realised I’d totally spaced into my head. “Yeah?”
There was a look of uncertainty in his eyes that made my heart jolt in panic. Was he actually trying on some round about declaration of love?
Wade cleared his throat. “Is… Was that okay? I mean, I don’t want you thinking I meant that… It’s just that… Well, I appreciate you. I care about you. I like hanging out with you. I…” He huffed and it was almost self-conscious. “I want you. But I–”
the Art of Breaking Up Page 13