“I realize that. What you should have done is snatch him up when he came back to town. If you would have, you’d be married to the father of your child now instead of Sarah. Life would be simpler. Safer.”
Joanne might have considered it, too, but she and Matt had been angry with each other for so many years. He’d joined the Air Force to help support their son and was gone all the time. She’d appreciated the regular checks but resented doing the tough work herself. For years. Recently, they’d worked hard to coparent and Joanne thought that was about as good as it could get for the two of them. Besides, she really liked Sarah and was happy for them.
“Maybe love can’t always be all about security.”
“You have a child—of course security comes first. You put Hunter’s needs before your own for many years, as you should have. Hud has been available all this time and never found anyone at all?”
“He’s dated.” She cleared her throat. “Plenty.”
“I’m aware.” Mom quirked a brow. “And in all those women he couldn’t find one that was suitable? That tells me that Hud just isn’t the settling down type, much as I adore him.”
Definitely not what Joanne wanted to hear or believe. “Or maybe he never found the right woman.”
“I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”
“Well, Mom, I’m fresh off a broken engagement with a man who seemed to be perfect for me. He wanted children, he was supposedly saving for our future, he wanted to settle down in Fortune. He played baseball and was afraid to hurt his hands, so he played it safe in every way. And you see how well that worked out.”
“Because he was a lying, conniving bastard. You’re hurt, and maybe you just need to take some time and consider all your options.”
“Funny, that’s exactly what I’m doing. And Hud Decker is option number one. I’m tired of playing it safe, and I’m tired of worrying about something that might never happen. I’m still young enough to want sex and passion in my life. And Hud gives me all that. Plus, he takes care of me.”
“What do Matt and Hunter have to say about this?”
“Matt is married. Why should I care what he thinks?”
Okay, that sounded a little defensive. But Matt and Sarah were very happy together, and Hunter had eventually become used to the situation. So, maybe he’d get used to Joanne and Hud, too.
“You two have to coparent, after all. And what about Hunter? What does he think?” She paused. “Or does he know?”
“He knows.” Joanne finished her coffee, as she fought for time and the right words. “He’s not crazy about the idea.”
“And he wasn’t fond of Chuck, either. Hunter has a good sense about people.”
“That’s not fair,” Joanne protested. “He mentioned that it’s always been just the two of us and we don’t need anyone else.”
Mom nodded. “Maybe for your son, no one is ever going to be good enough.”
But Hud was more than good enough for Joanne. She’d made the decision on her own, just by using her mother as a sounding board. The answer was clear, and her heart raced as she clearly understood what she would do going forward. Hopefully everyone was right when they talked about risk equaling reward.
The bigger the risk, the greater the reward.
Chapter Twelve
When Hud arrived for his next rotation a few minutes late, he was in possibly the best mood of his entire life. Because things with Jo were going better than he could have imagined. They’d spent every night that he was off rotation together, either at his place or hers. But even though he was living out many of his fantasies, he wasn’t fooling himself. Hunter would be back living with Joanne at the end of the month and their little bubble would burst. They’d both have to deal with a sullen teenager who’d recently had a lot of changes come into his life. Considering that he’d walked in on their first kiss, Hud wanted to make certain that didn’t happen again.
He kept trying to take them slow, but with their chemistry they were nearly always going from zero to ninety in seconds. He’d be ripping off her clothes or she’d be ripping off his. Jo was enjoying their time together as much as he was, and that was good, but he already wanted much more. And it wasn’t going to be easy to get it with both Hunter and Matt still so much a part of Jo’s life.
His past preceded him and Hud realized that.
Coldhearted. Detached. Incapable of emotional commitment.
He called bullshit.
Those were just some of the words a few exes had used to describe him. Others, who understood him better, were kinder. Understood. Like Jo. He’d like to believe she understood that he’d been waiting for the right time and the right woman. It finally seemed within his reach and Hud wasn’t going to let the damn ring, annoying though it was, ruin this for him. What he’d do was hang in there until Chuck was nothing more than the stink of a memory.
He wasn’t going anywhere, and he wouldn’t be intimidated. Both Hunter and Matt would have to deal with him.
As he pulled into the station, Hud forced himself to switch gears just as he did when he went home. The pressures and mental stress of the job could be hell on relationships, and he’d seen this firsthand with his friends. Hud was better than most at compartmentalizing, but that didn’t mean that it was always easy to leave the stress behind. A forest fire was currently raging out of control in Yuba County and only about 10 percent contained. Wildfire season seemed to be coming earlier every year. The thought of his firefighter brothers, especially the smoke jumpers being dropped into that inferno, was enough to raise his blood pressure.
Hud got out of his truck and did a double take. J.P. was mowing the lawn. While wearing all his protective gear. Turnout pants, boots, tank and breathing apparatus. Hud stopped walking to stare at him. J.P. waved and kept pushing the lawn mower. From time to time, some harmless hazing still happened at the stations. But the directions from the top down had strongly encouraged all hazing to stop. Hud hated to be the killjoy, but damn if he’d let a promotion slip by because of someone’s stupid idea of fun.
Hud found Ty, the other lieutenant of Firehouse 57, pouring himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Hud hooked his finger toward the window of the house facing outside and the raucous noise of the mower.
“What the hell?”
“We told him he had to get used to carrying around his heavy gear in all kinds of situations. Why not mow the lawn with gear?” Ty shrugged. “He fell for it.”
“He’s got a tank on, wasting air.”
“Gotta learn sometime. Part of this job is thinking for yourself. Why would anyone ask him to mow the lawn wearing full gear? C’mon, he should have known we were joking.”
“Go tell him to take off the gear,” Hud ordered Alex, who sat quietly at the table.
“Aw, damn.” But he got up from the kitchen table and walked outside.
From inside, Hud watched as Alex waved to J.P. until he stopped the mower.
“So. Joanne.” Ty continued to sip at his coffee, apparently in no hurry to leave.
“Did you clock out?” Hud pressed.
“Yeah, dude,” Ty said. “Never knew you to be such a stickler.”
“Things change.”
“Yeah? This about Joanne?” Ty asked with a grin.
“What do you mean?”
“Things. Changing. As in you haven’t dated in a while. I believe Kristine was the last one, like six months ago? Now Joanne’s available. And, if I remember right, I was the one who suggested it could be your moment.” Ty thumped his chest with his thumb.
“Proud of yourself?”
“You’re the man.” Ty fist-bumped with Hud.
“Yeah, yeah.” Hud fought a grin. Even these losers could ruin his mood completely.
“Gotta confess, never thought I’d see you with a single mom.”
“Yeah, but this is Jo. A
nd Hunter. I’ve known him all his life. He’s a great kid.”
“But you’ve never dated his mother.” Ty set his mug down. “Take it from someone who has dated single mothers. Your life is about to change. Radically.”
“For me, that’s not going to be a bad thing.” Hud helped himself to the coffee.
“Yeah?” Ty crossed his arms. “Say goodbye to morning sex. Say goodbye to sex on the kitchen table. Say goodbye to sex in the shower.”
Okay, he honestly didn’t like the sound of that, but he was a grown-up now. He could wait for privacy, or they could stay over at his place. Except he knew the last thing Jo would want to do is leave a teenager unsupervised for the night with a house all to himself. Even he knew better than to make that rookie mistake.
Hud cleared his throat. “Hunter spends every other weekend with his dad, and some holidays.”
“Ah, yes. The baby daddy.” Ty held up air quotes. “That’s always so much fun, too. You’ll be involved, but not really involved.”
“Why are you trying to ruin my stellar mood?” He was in a great one, until he saw J.P.
Ty tossed up his hands. “Just trying to be real, bro.”
“Just take your ‘real’ and shove it up your—”
“Yeah, I know where to shove it.” Ty put down his cup and clapped Hud’s back. “I’m heading out. Hang in there. Remember she’s worth it.”
After a few more minutes in which Ty exchanged details on the previous twenty-four shift, blessedly quiet, Ty was off. Hud clocked in and got back to the kitchen with the rest of his crew. J.P. sat at the table in his turnout pants, but without the rest of his heavy gear. He looked no worse for the wear.
“So, whose turn to cook breakfast?” Hud looked at his crew.
They looked back at him, eagerness and expectation in their eyes.
“Yours,” they all said at once.
Oh shit.
* * *
After a mostly uneventful rotation, Hud worked some overtime, clocked out, showered and headed over to Joanne’s because he was taking her to a movie, then she was cooking for him. He figured it wouldn’t be anything very exciting. Probably something like roasted chicken and salad. No problem, because he’d brought a dessert, and he would force-feed her if he had to. It was Alex’s chocolate mousse cake and it was apparently better than sex—with some people. Alex had sent Hud with a few slices for Hud’s “woman.” They were all calling Jo that now, and Hud didn’t mind. Except for the fact that they probably believed this was business as usual for him. The thrill of the chase. Then the downside that happened when he’d had enough time with a woman and discovered they didn’t really connect on anything but a physical level.
At those times, despite what everyone seemed to believe, Hud feared he was the unlovable one. This was mixed with the terrible knowledge that he might not ever find anyone who could put up with him. But then he’d assured himself that if he’d really loved Jo, and he had, the possibility of feeling the same for someone else existed. He was capable of loving someone deeply.
It hadn’t been until she’d become engaged to Chuck that Hud had an epiphany he’d fought with everything inside him to deny. He’d continued to live in a quagmire of denial as she made wedding preparations. Had agreed that, of course, he’d be happy to give her away in the place of her late father. But not until he’d seen Jo in the wedding dress had Hud realized the wedding would actually happen. He was too damn late and had missed his window. She’d marry Chuck, and Hud would have to support that.
So, in a way, he should really thank Chuck for backing out. Hell, maybe he would someday. Thanks to him, Hud had a second chance.
Hud pulled his truck up to the curb in front of Joanne’s home. The lights were on inside and as he shut off his headlights, he saw her in the kitchen window, head bent over the sink. The light reflected in her pale blond hair, and she tucked a stray behind her ear, biting her lip in the way she did when she was entirely focused.
The scene felt domestic, something he’d always resisted because it felt like a general loss of freedom. But the facts were that he’d been long ago domesticized by Jo without quite realizing it. The only thing that had been missing in their best friend’s style of domesticity was the romance. The sex. With that thought, he shut off the truck and hightailed it to her front door. The sooner they got done with the movie, the sooner they’d be back in bed.
At the door, he handed her the cake. “From Alex. Claims it’s better than sex.”
She made a face, her nose wrinkled. “I’ll put this in the fridge and just grab my purse.”
They were going to see some kind of romance book made into a movie, and of course, he was fine with that in this new, supportive boyfriend role. At one time he would have voted this one down and they’d have settled on something between a rom-com and science fiction. Usually that meant some kind of foreign film with subtitles.
“This is supposed to be a three-hanky movie,” she said, strapping on her seat belt.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He pulled out on to the street leading to The Granada, the only movie theater in town.
“Really, Hud? Three hankies? As in you’ll go through three handkerchiefs with all your tears.”
He cringed. “I don’t want to sit in a movie theater with you crying about fictional characters.”
“Why not? That’s when you get to hold me and make it all better.”
When she put it that way...
But halfway through the movie, Hud was irritated because the hero was a firefighter. Apparently, no one hired consultants anymore because said hero was in a structure fire with the same kind of eyesight and vision as he would have on a gorgeous day at the beach. Yeah. Not going to happen. Smoke was usually so thick you literally couldn’t see your hand in front of you. But when the firefighter ripped off his mask, once outside, to give the heroine “oxygen” he wanted to stand up and walk out. He would have, had it not been for Jo’s arm linking through his, holding his hand while with the other she held a tissue.
He leaned close to whisper. “Our tanks have air in them, not oxygen. The same air that’s all around them now that she’s outside.”
“Shhh.”
“It makes no sense.” He shook his head.
At last the movie ended and they made their way out of the crowded theater. Outside, he stopped and wiped away a smudge from under her eyes, caused by her tears. Then he tugged Jo into a sideways hug, and they walked together hip to hip. His mind was on a light dinner and then bed.
“Hud!”
He turned at the sound of the female voice calling out his name and cringed. Joanne stopped beside him.
It was Kristine, with a group of her friends.
“Hey, you two.” She eyed them, lingering on the tight embrace, a hint of mischief in her eyes. “So good to see you.”
“Hi, Kristine,” Joanne said. “How are you doing?”
“Not as good as you.” Kristine grinned at Hud and crossed her arms. “I really hate to say I told you so, but...when was I going to get that call?”
“Yeah.” Hud knew exactly what she meant. “Soon.”
He felt every one of Jo’s low back muscles when they tensed under his touch. But even if what Kristine had said sounded suspicious, he didn’t want to stand in a public parking lot with her and Jo and have to explain himself. Especially not when the subject would be referring to when he’d grown the balls to admit he’d always been in love with Jo.
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to run into one of your exes every time we go out,” Jo said once they were in the truck. “But I always liked Kristine.”
“She liked you, too.”
“What did she mean? Why do you have to call her?”
“Jo, I said I’d be exclusive, and I meant it.”
“I know, and I trust you. Does this mean you’re not goin
g to tell me?”
“Okay, okay.” He fought a grin. “Kristine always thought you had a thing for me but couldn’t admit it. Told me to call her and let her know when you finally wised up that you’re crazy about me.”
“Why do I think that’s not exactly the way that went down?” She laughed. “I told you, I like Kristine.”
In front of her house, he shut off the engine and released his tight grip on the steering wheel. Took a breath. “Okay, so maybe it was the reverse.”
“Hud.” She spoke softly. Sweetly. She unbuckled her seat belt and reached across the console for him. “I’m crazy about you, too.”
This was nuts. It was too soon, and yet it wasn’t soon enough. Madness, mayhem, and also the most logical thing in his world. He pressed his forehead to hers.
“Look. I can go as slow as you want with us. But I’m also ready to leapfrog over everything in our way. For years, we’ve had people come between us. First Matt, then Hunter. Your mother.”
“My mother?”
“It’s no secret that she always wanted you with Matt, after you had Hunter. Thank God for Sarah, so now Matt’s no longer even an option.”
She threaded her fingers through his hair. “He never was. I love Matt as the father of my child and that’s all. I was never in love with him.”
“Now we’ve got Chuck. But I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to get over him. For you to be ready to give him back that ring and move forward with me.”
Jo pulled back to meet his gaze, her fingers loosening their hold in his hair. “Baby, no. You don’t need to even think about him anymore. I’m giving back the ring. I decided.”
“Yeah? But how will you get the money from him?”
“Maybe I’ll sue. I don’t know yet, but I’ll find another way.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to offer to pay for it all, but he knew Jo would hate that. He had the money and could afford to. But so did Jo and that was hardly the point.
“Or, you know, maybe I’ll just let it go. It’s only money, right? Maybe it’s better to have him out of our life for good, like you said.”
The Right Moment Page 13