by Katie Reus
“Good answer.”
He snorted softly. Everything about this was awkward, especially since he couldn’t do a damn thing about his attraction to her. Still, he found himself saying, “You really didn’t know I was attracted to you?” How could she not? He’d assumed she’d figured it out in New Orleans.
“Apparently you’re good at hiding that part of yourself.” Instead of continuing, she changed subjects. “Why did you cut contact with your cousin? Or I’m actually assuming you did. I kind of understand why you left but I don’t understand cutting out your family.”
“I thought if I cut out all parts of my past that you and I would never meet.” And look how well that turned out.
“Do you regret meeting me?”
“No. Never.” Even though he’d fought to never know her, the moment they’d met, his wolf had awakened in a way he’d never imagined. Not sexually. It had been…deeper. A dormant part of his wolf had risen to the surface. Gabriel just had to keep his distance, to make sure that he never crossed a line. If they never mated, then she would never die under that blood moon.
“Okay, so tell me more about your cousin. What kind of Alpha is he? Tell me what I can’t find out from the file. Because your distaste for Carson is palpable and you don’t strike me as someone who would put up with bullshit… Why would you stay with an Alpha who is harboring someone like Carson?”
He pushed out a breath. That was complicated. “Make no mistake, Judoc is a fair Alpha. Honorable. At his core, he’s a good male. The thing with Carson… It’s complicated with those two. Judoc doesn’t see what I see. Doesn’t see the wrongness inside Carson.” And Gabriel had never understood why the Alpha, who was so astute, couldn’t see it. Hell, he didn’t understand why the pack hadn’t been able to see it.
“Okay, so tell me about the Alpha, then.”
“When we were younger, we use to fight in the way wolves do. Just asserting our dominance. We were pretty evenly drawn as far as skill.” Which tied into why he’d left his pack. The truth was, the reason he left had been because of that vision but Gabriel had been biding his time to eventually find another home.
Vega shifted slightly against the covers, but didn’t turn to face him. She remained as he was, on her back and staring up at the ceiling. But he could see her long, lean form out of the corner of his eye—and resisted the urge to reach out and touch her. To simply hold her hand. “He’s definitely powerful. I can feel that same level of power rolling off him that I feel from my parents and you. Though maybe not as strong as Arya and Dragos.”
Gabriel let out another snort. The ancient dragon couple was indeed strong. That being an understatement. “I’m pretty sure Finn is just as powerful as those two.” Or it was a draw. Gabriel was almost positive of it.
“I can’t tell. I think my dad masks his power sometimes. Or at least keeps it muted.”
Gabriel knew for a fact that Finn did and was surprised Vega didn’t. But he guessed it was something that her father simply hadn’t told her. “How do you feel about us playing the part of lovers?” He’d been wanting to ask the question and now that she was talking to him, it was as good a time as any to bring it up.
She shrugged and the covers rustled again. “It’s part of the job.” She let out a short little laugh. “I was surprised when you kissed me earlier. That took me off guard.”
He thought about apologizing, but he wasn’t sorry. “I liked kissing you,” he blurted. Then he winced. He wasn’t some stupid pup not in control of himself. But around her, he felt that way sometimes—all the time.
“Yeah, well I liked kissing you too.”
Fuck. He didn’t want her to tell him that. He’d scented her desire but had tried to tell himself it was simply her acting, simply part of the job. Even if he’d known inside that it was bullshit.
They lay there in silence for what felt like forever but was probably just a few minutes. He found himself overwhelmed with her moonlight and roses scent. She reminded him of the forest and winter. Not actually a scent, but that was the image her scent triggered. Hell, she smelled like his.
Only his.
He wanted to roll on his side, reach out…touch her. But they could never have each other. Sighing, he closed his eyes, not believing that somehow they were in the same bed and still fully clothed. Because he’d certainly imagined this moment too many times to count, and it had been nothing like this.
“You hurt me when you abandoned me in New Orleans,” she said quietly. And he figured that the little bit of honesty had cost her. She’d made herself vulnerable to him when she hadn’t needed to.
Now that he’d told her the truth of why he’d been keeping his distance, there was no need to deny how he felt about her. “It was getting too hard to be around you. I wanted more and I knew that was impossible. So I left.” He hadn’t been abandoning her. He’d needed to keep her safe.
“You know visions aren’t set in stone,” she snapped out, the sudden heat in her voice surprising him. “Even I know that. The future is never sure.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not risking it.” Because what he’d seen in the vision, the blood, her dying, that blood moon—it had gutted him and he’d experienced all those emotions as if they’d been happening in real time. He’d felt her pain, felt his own pain, and it had been as if he’d lost part of himself. All before he’d ever met her. Now that he knew her, cared about her, no, he simply couldn’t do it. “I’m not taking the chance that it might happen.”
Surprising him, she turned on her side, putting her back to him. “You are a dumbass,” she muttered.
The abrupt statement surprised him but it was clear she was done talking to him. And he wasn’t going to push. Not now.
If anything, he was glad she’d turned away from him, given him this reprieve. Being so damn close to her like this only reminded him of what he could never have. What some other male would one day have.
His wolf snarled at the thought and he had to shove it back. The sooner this op was over, the sooner he could get away from her and regain his sanity.
Chapter 9
The sky was gray, everything overcast, mirroring Vega’s mood.
“You’re quiet this morning,” Gabriel said, not taking his eyes off the road as he steered them down the highway toward Judoc’s place.
She lifted a shoulder. She had a lot on her mind. “I know what the files say, but give me your take on Carson. Something that I wouldn’t have read about.” She’d wanted to ask Gabriel more last night, but he’d more than shocked her with what he’d said about them being future mates. Or in his case, apparently he’d decided to just give up on what might be.
Because of a stupid vision.
She wanted to punch him right in the face. And she was pretty sure she wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping her annoyance locked down. Yes, in a sense it was noble, what he’d tried to do. Beyond, even. But it was her future too and she got a say in it. And now that she knew exactly why he’d been keeping his distance from her—not because he was frustrated or annoyed with her, but because he was attracted to her as well—it was like he’d lit the pilot light on the desire she’d been keeping locked down for far too long, and she couldn’t turn it off.
“Carson is an asshole at his core—and he’ll definitely hit on you. He’s charming, attractive, if you go for that pretty boy look,” Gabriel muttered. “Never had a problem bedding the females of the pack. And to give him credit, he never left anyone angry at him. But I never trusted him. And I don’t know that I could even articulate why. My wolf rejected him on a primal level. And Judoc never understood the animosity between me and Carson either. I think it’s because Carson’s parents died when he was young and Judoc always felt responsible for him.”
“It wasn’t in the file that you were related to Judoc, so I never even realized. Do you know why August left that out?”
Gabriel shrugged but paused. “I don’t know. Maybe because it wasn’t important or maybe because he didn’t want
you distracted by the knowledge. I haven’t had contact with Judoc in almost a decade.”
She needed to ask August why it had been left out, but that would have to wait. “Carson is related to Judoc on his mother’s side. How are you?”
“I’m related to Judoc on his father’s side.”
“What happened to your parents?”
“Died in the same skirmish with vampires that Carson’s parents did. We were all pups at the time. It was a long time ago. Over a century.”
“So why did Judoc favor him and not you?”
Gabriel laughed lightly. “I never said that he didn’t favor me. Judoc and I were always tight. When I left, I know that I hurt him—but there’s no animosity between us.”
“Would you have left if you hadn’t had the vision?”
He paused for a moment, then nodded. His profile was hard, and while he wasn’t classically handsome, he was incredibly sexy. Not to mention his pale green eyes were captivating. “I don’t know. I think I would have. My wolf always respected him and his power. But…it’s hard to give full allegiance to someone you sparred with, and bested in fights as a pup, as an adolescent, and even as an adult. I don’t know if we would have ever butted heads and crossed the line. I don’t have Alpha traits like him. I wouldn’t want to be in charge of an entire pack. Either way, I’m glad I never had to find out.”
“You’re close in strength to my dad.”
Gabriel shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. My wolf recognizes him as Alpha. When I met him, it was as if something clicked into place. My wolf knows his place in the pack.”
“So what else do I need to know about you? Did you leave any broken hearts behind?” Okay, she wanted to know for more than just one reason but technically she did need to know if there were any she-wolves he left behind who might like to claw her eyes out. Kinda unlikely but…yeah, she wanted to know. It made her jealous to even think of him with someone else. Which was stupid, but there it was.
He glanced at her, his expression wry. “Do you care?”
“Hey, I’m playing a role right now. I need to know about your past if it’s going to be believable that we’re lovers. And okay, I do care.” Screw it—she was really curious and she wouldn’t deny it. Right now she was deciding how she wanted to play things with him; if she wanted to pursue what might be simply because he’d seen them mated in the future.
“I didn’t leave any broken hearts behind.”
Okay then, that appeared to be all he was going to say about that. She wouldn’t push either.
“So did you leave anyone back in New Orleans?” There was a bite to his words.
She sniffed once. “How does that pertain to this operation?”
“It doesn’t. I want to know.” There was a wealth of possessiveness in that statement.
And damn it, she really liked it. She wanted him to care. She thought about lying, about wording it so he thought she had, but that was petty games. And she wasn’t playing games. Her wolf wanted him. And now that she knew there was only one barrier between them—Gabriel’s stubbornness—she was going to do this right. “No.”
“No? That’s it?”
She lifted a shoulder, not sure what else he could want to know. “Yep.”
“We’re officially in his territory now,” Gabriel said a few moments later as he nodded at a turnoff. “I know you have all this information from the file, but we’re likely being watched right now. Or at least on some type of radar. Just like Finn, Judoc has cameras set up on his territory. Some you’ll see, some you won’t.”
She nodded and glanced out at the landscape. It was all forest and woods as far as she could see. According to August, the Alpha owned a spread of land out in the middle of nowhere so that his pack had hundreds of acres to run free. Hell, thousands.
Soon enough she and Gabriel would be in the heart of the territory. And they had to be very careful about what they did and said. Their very lives could depend on it.
Two Years Ago
Gabriel,
Last night when we were hanging out and that avian shifter hit on you, I wanted to claw her eyes out. Which feels weird to say. I’ve always thought I was above that shit. Yeah…above caring or being jealous over a guy I’m seriously messed up over. Apparently I’m not very evolved. Because I had some not-nice thoughts (that I won’t put on paper) and she wasn’t even doing anything wrong. Hitting on you? I understand why she did. Didn’t mean I had to like it. That said, your non-reaction to her was a little funny—and pleasing. She was so surprised when you didn’t fall all over yourself to dance with her or buy her a drink. Or whatever else she was expecting. It was almost as if you didn’t even notice how gorgeous she was. Which is stupid because everyone in a mile radius noticed.
Even stupider, it made me fall for you a little more. Yep, I’m falling for you. Not that I’m going to tell you. I’m definitely not that evolved. Or secure. And it sucks even more because I have no one else to tell about my stupid feelings! I actually thought about telling Victoria but I don’t ever want to put her in a weird position. So instead, I’ve got these letters that I’ll never send you. Weirdly enough, they make me feel better. In the recesses of my mind, in a place I don’t even want to admit exists, part of me holds on to the hope that the reason you so utterly ignored that female was because you’re into me. A girl can hope.
Vega
Chapter 10
Standing next to his cousin, Gabriel looked out over the clearing where the Alpha’s pack was having a party. It was strange, but being here felt like coming home. Not in the same sense that he felt with the Stavros pack, his pack, his family. But there was a sense of normalcy being here. And he hadn’t expected it.
The clearing had a dozen picnic tables set up and a gazebo that was new. Lights and colorful lanterns were strung up everywhere, on the tables, the gazebo and trees. Food was plentiful, covering half the tables because…wolves. One of the packmates was even acting as a DJ with his gear set up on the gazebo.
“So you’re mating with your Alpha’s daughter?” Judoc asked, watching the wolves in front of him as well.
Gabriel snorted. “We’re not mated yet.” And unfortunately never would be. He locked up that thought, refused to let the pain through. Judoc couldn’t get a hint of his underlying emotions.
“She doesn’t seem like your type.”
Gabriel looked at Vega as she talked to one of Judoc’s newer packmates, one Gabriel didn’t know. With her hands shoved casually into the pockets of her jeans, her long dark hair pulled back into a braid showing off her cheekbones, and nearly electric violet eyes that she normally hid with contacts, she was…stunning. “I don’t even know how to take that.” Because Vega was perfection. Even if he was holding back from courting her, from literally chasing after her, he couldn’t understand his cousin’s statement. And his wolf was getting testy at the thought that his cousin couldn’t see how fucking perfect she was.
Judoc raised an eyebrow. “Your wolf is in your eyes. I didn’t mean that as an insult. She’s incredible. But she’s young.”
“Yes, she is.” But she was also strong, smart, and would one day grow into an incredible power all her own. Not wanting to talk about her anymore but having no choice, he said, “How did you know who she was?”
His cousin gave him a look that said get real. “I kept tabs on you after you left. About once a year, I have someone check in. She was in one of the last files.”
Okay it was definitely a good thing that they hadn’t lied about her identity. “Why do I smell Carson on the property?” Gabriel asked, changing subjects. It was a smooth enough transition.
His cousin’s expression turned surprisingly dark. “He’s visiting for a bit. He’s holed up in the library right now.”
“Is everything okay with him?”
His cousin gave a short laugh. “I didn’t know you cared.”
Gabriel lifted a shoulder. “We never got along, but he is still family.” He nearly choked on the last word.
Carson wasn’t his family. Not in the way that mattered. The Stavros pack, they were his family in every way that mattered. Those wolves—and demigod, dragon, half-demons and everyone else—he would die for. They were his tribe.
Judoc said, “I think he might have gotten into some trouble. He asked if he could stay here and lie low. He asked for protection without actually asking for it.”
Gabriel simply nodded once, having nothing else to say. He couldn’t pretend as if he was worried for the other wolf because his cousin wouldn’t believe it and it would look suspicious. “What else is bothering you, cousin?”
Judoc looked surprised. “Why do you ask?”
“Come on, we grew up together. I can easily read you.” Not exactly true, but he knew his cousin well enough that something was on his mind.
“We did grow up together and then you left as soon as I became Alpha. Why?” The question was harsh, brutal, the wolf peering back at Gabriel.
Gabriel hadn’t expected the question. They’d never talked about why he left. He’d simply told Judoc that he needed to go roaming, that he needed to find himself. Then he’d left and never come back. Now he had to answer and it would be tricky because there was more than one reason and he couldn’t lie to Judoc. “Do you want me to be brutally honest?”
Nodding, Judoc crossed his arms over his chest and turned to fully face Gabriel.
Gabriel looked right in his cousin’s eyes and didn’t turn away. He continued staring, not challenging but also not backing down. Almost any other wolf would have lowered their gaze. Any wolf not an Alpha or possessing certain Alpha qualities. Gabriel wasn’t an Alpha but…he wasn’t submissive to Judoc either.
After a moment his cousin let out a low curse.
“That’s why,” Gabriel said, without having to explain at all. But he continued anyway. “I’m not an Alpha in the sense that you are, but our wolves grew up together, we fought as pups and there was never a sure winner. It was a back and forth between us. I don’t know that my wolf would have ever fully recognized you as an Alpha. I respect you and I would have followed you into any battle, and would have died for you. Hell, I still would.” There was truth in his words because despite all the years separating them, he loved his cousin. “It would have caused too much friction down the line if I’d stayed.”