by Sadie Moss
“You and Professor Tamlin—Josephine—used to date, right?”
His eyes narrow slightly, but he nods. “Yes.”
“Who broke up with whom?”
His chest rises and falls beneath my hands as he sighs deeply, and his own hands slide up my thighs, caressing the skin of my hips and waist. “I broke up with her.”
“What?”
My squawk is neither dignified nor sexy, but I’m fucking shocked. Tamlin is gorgeous, classy, smart, and always looks like she arrived straight off the catwalk. I can’t imagine any guy in the world not wanting to be with her.
Roman sighs. “It’s complicated, Reckless. I’m… not the easiest person to be around all the time. I didn’t want to put her through that.”
I scowl at him, digging my fingernails a little harder into his skin. “Oh, but you want to put me through it? Rude.”
He cracks a devilish, seductive smile, grabbing my arms and tugging me down so my body is draped over his. “Maybe I just think you can handle it.”
My heart skips another beat, and I swallow hard.
He must see the flash of panic on my face, because his gaze softens and he brushes his thumb over my cheek. “I like you, Elliot. A lot. But I don’t want to pin you down. I can tell that’s not the kind of person you are. I won’t push you for something you’re not ready to give, and I won’t try to dictate the terms of our relationship. I know there’s something between you, Cam, Asher, and Dmitri. If you want to explore that, I have no interest in stopping you.”
I blink at him, my mouth going suddenly dry. “Are… are you breaking up with me?”
Damn it. For all my talk about keeping an emotional distance, the thought of this thing between us ending makes me feel a little sick.
His dark brows draw together as he looks at me like I’m crazy. “No. I’m telling you I want you; whatever part of yourself you can give.”
“Roman—”
“And that you’re worth sharing.”
My jaw snaps shut at that. I peer into his eyes, like I might find the lie somewhere in their dark blue depths. But it isn’t there. He gazes back at me steadily, his thumb still stroking my cheek.
I’m not really sure what to say—don’t know how to handle someone telling me he thinks I have enough love to give that even just a piece of it would satisfy him. That he thinks I’m worth being with even if our relationship doesn’t follow a conventional path.
Of course, the evil little voice in my head whispers, it could just mean he doesn’t care enough about you for it matter to him who else you’re with.
I try to shut that voice up. I know it’s just insecurity, but it’s hard to shake.
Fuck. This is why it’s just easier to not get serious with anyone in the first place. None of this crippling fear or uncertainty, none of this doubt and dread of looming heartbreak.
He’s still regarding me seriously, waiting for a response to his statement. His words have taken root in my heart, and I know I’ll spend a lot of time thinking about them later, but right now, I’ve just about reached my quota of emotional openness for the day.
So I rub myself against Roman’s body like a cat, grinding my hips harder against his as my boobs press against his chest. “Are you really sure about that whole not pinning me down thing? Because in the right circumstances, I might like to be pinned.”
“You’re trying to distract me,” Roman points out with an arched brow, but I can feel him responding, getting interested.
“Mmm, maybe, but it’s working, isn’t it?” I lean in, my mouth at his ear. “You did promise me you would show me those pretty silk ties of yours…”
Roman growls and turns his head, claiming my lips in a kiss, and I can’t help but laugh. His mouth swallows up the sound as his arms wrap around me, holding me tight, and I can’t stop the rush of—of safety that comes with that. Roman can be almost as cranky as Dmitri sometimes, and he has this way of growling through conversations like a bear who got his hibernation interrupted. But there’s also this intensity in his gaze when he looks at me that makes me feel like he’d tear the whole school down if it meant taking care of me.
The kiss slows down a little, moving from rough and fast to deep and slow as Roman runs his hand slowly up and down my back. It’s almost sweet, if you can call anything about Roman “sweet”. It’s like dark chocolate, the intense bite definitely still there but with a hint of sugar to balance it out.
It makes my heart thump dangerously in my chest, and I push farther into the kiss, trying to make it less… less… I don’t even know.
Or rather, I do know, and I just can’t say it yet.
I nip at Roman’s lip and he gets the message, flipping me over and pinning me down onto the bed.
Yes, I think, and then moan so he gets the message. No more of this soft intimacy stuff tonight, thanks.
My heart’s in enough danger already.
Chapter 2
Afterward, I really do go back to my dorm room, despite my wobbly legs. A lot of the professors and admins at the academy have their own quarters, but Roman lives in one of the men’s dormitories with the students—albeit in a bigger, slightly fancier unit. He’s on the first floor, while the guys and I live on the third, in a large quad with four beds, four desks, and a couch with a coffee table set up near the windows. It’s also got an attached bathroom, and before I head to bed, I hop in the shower to clean up.
The powerful spray of water pours down over me, slicking my dark brown hair to my head and back. I soap up my deliciously sore body and let the heat of the water penetrate my muscles.
My second semester will begin the day after tomorrow. I’m not quite sure how I feel about that yet. On the one hand, I’m excited to dive back in and keep learning, to improve on my control and get a better handle on my magic. But on the other hand… last semester was kind of a train wreck.
I just hope the next few months will be a little calmer. I don’t need any more excitement, and Maddy’s already worried enough about me. She got anxious the last few days before I had to leave Neptune, claiming she had nightmares and curling up in bed with me like old times instead of just sleeping by herself. She seemed better by the time we said our goodbyes, but I’d really like to show her I can make it through a whole semester without any major calamities.
Hopefully the craziest thing about the rest of this year will be that I’m banging my professor. Although I’m not sure how much time we’ll have for that once school actually starts back up. It’s been easy enough to sneak in and out of his place the past few days, since a lot of the dorm residents aren’t back yet. But once they are? Once we’re all back in classes? It’ll get a bit more difficult to keep things between us secret.
I finish up my shower and pull on my bathrobe, still deep in thought. Then I swipe a hand across the mirror, revealing the foggy, water-speckled reflection of my wet brown hair, matching brown eyes, and high cheekbones. I got more of Dad’s looks, and Maddy got more of Mom’s, which I kind of hate, but what are you gonna do? Assholes can pass on their genes just as well as anyone else, I guess.
After scrubbing a towel over my hair, I leave it to air dry and walk back into the dorm room—
Only to get jumped.
“Gah!” I yelp as a mountain of muscle topped with sunshine-blond hair tackles me.
Cam has literally sent me stumbling backward with the force of his hug. My shriek of surprise turns to one of delight as I recognize him immediately by his scent—cedarwood and spice. He picks me up and whirls me around for a second, then sets me back down, his sky-blue eyes wide. “Geez, Sin, what the hell have you been doing in there? We’ve been waiting to surprise you for almost an hour!”
“An hour of my life I’ll never get back,” Dmitri deadpans.
“Aw, I’m so glad you got that personality transplant over the break.” I bat my eyelashes at him, falsely sweet. “You used to be such an asshole.”
Cam steps back so Asher can come forward and hug me. Asher�
��s hugs are one of the best things in the world—like wrapping yourself in a warm blanket on a cold evening.
“How was your break?” I ask him, greedily breathing in his clean, citrus smell. It’s truly unfair that on top of being drop dead gorgeous, all these guys smell good enough that I want to make a nest out of their clothes and live in it. But not in a creepy way, of course.
“Great!” Asher replies. His forest-green eyes glow with happiness as he pulls away. “Missed you, though. Next time, you can come and spend it with my family, if you want. They’d be happy to have you—and Maddy.”
“You’re sweet.”
“My break was awful,” Cam volunteers. “I didn’t get to see your face the whole time.”
“And yet you somehow survived.”
“Just barely.” He clutches a hand over his heart dramatically.
I laugh. “I thought you guys weren’t getting in until tomorrow!”
“Yeah, the plan was to meet up in Portland, spend tomorrow there, and then all drive in together,” he explains. “But we decided we’d rather get back to campus early. We heard the shower running when we got back and decided to hide and surprise you.”
“But we didn’t know you’d be in there for a thousand years,” Dmitri grunts. “Did you use up all the hot water?”
I glower at him. “You really planning on taking a shower right now? It’s the middle of the fucking night.”
“You never know, Princess.” There’s almost a threat in his words, like if I hadn’t come out when I did, he might’ve busted into the shower looking for me.
That thought sends a shiver of heat up my spine. Whatever kind of antagonistic feelings might exist between Dmitri and me, there’s no shortage of sexual chemistry.
“How was your break?” Asher asks smoothly, ever the peacemaker.
“It was all right.” I shrug, crossing the room to sit down on my bed. “Pretty low key, but that’s exactly what I needed. Maddy says hi, by the way.”
She met them all at the end of fall semester and decided she liked them right away—even Dmitri, who for some inexplicable reason is super nice to her even though he’s always been kind of an asshole to me.
As if he can tell I’m thinking about him, the man in question narrows his dark eyes at me. “You had your cuff on, right?”
“Careful there, you almost sound worried,” I drawl. But I hold up my wrist, showing off the magic repressing brace that’s still firmly attached. Until we finish our magical training, we’re supposed to wear them at all times—except for in specific classes where the professors take them off for us. “Nothing to be concerned about though. I had it on the whole time.”
It took me all last semester to get used to the metal brace, and I still find myself tugging at it absently from time to time. I caught Maddy staring at it a few times while we were together, a look of pity on her face. She doesn’t have to wear one, so she was able to practice her magic over break, which… I’m trying not to be envious about.
I have a somewhat complex relationship with magic. For so long, I thought I didn’t have it, and I made my peace with that. I separated myself from the magical community and resigned myself to never being a part of the world my parents belonged to.
But now that I know I do have magic, it seems unfair that I’m not allowed to use it the way everyone else is. The magical world treats Unpredictables like we’re ticking time bombs, and the incidents last semester probably didn’t help with that impression. Even though that was just one Unpredictable magic user who went rogue and turned on his own kind.
And he was just a damn kid who was corrupted by an outside influence.
Sometimes I wonder who Raul was working with… or for. What kind of lies they fed him, how they twisted his understandable anger at the magical world for how he was treated into something so violent and selfish.
“I bet all Maddy’s college friends had a huge crush on you,” Cam says, giving me a wink. He’s shameless in his flirtations, and I wish I could say I mind—but I really, really don’t.
Probably because I know that underneath all his jokes, there’s real pain and sadness and depth, and that beneath all the flirting with me, there’s our genuine friendship.
“Terrified of me, more like,” I reply with a fierce grin. “They know I’ll kick their asses if they fuck with Maddy. And I tried to keep it quiet that I’m an Unpredictable, but she insisted on telling people. Wanted them to know she was proud of me.”
“Way to go, Mini Sin.” Cam chuckles, nodding approvingly.
“I just wish I could’ve practiced my magic, honestly,” I add with a shrug.
“Our magic is dangerous,” Dmitri snaps, his dark eyes flashing.
My gaze shoots to him. Shit, I must’ve hit a nerve.
After getting to know Dmitri, I can tell when he’s just being cranky and doesn’t really mean anything by it, and when he’s genuinely upset and angry. And right now, he’s the latter.
I look over at Cam, who gives me a sympathetic what are you gonna do shrug.
Carefully, I turn to face Dmitri. “Yeah, fair, but the only way to stop it from being so dangerous is to learn how to control it, and we can’t do that without practicing.” I tilt my head. “I take it you didn’t have a good break?”
Dmitri fixes me with a hard stare. “Mind your own business, Sinclair.”
“Fine, I will, Mr. Complicated Russian Last Name I Can’t Pronounce.”
“Annnnd I think it’s time we all go to bed,” Asher says quickly. “Opening talk from Hardwick tomorrow, start of classes and all that soon, yeah?”
Yeah, sure, I’ll take the olive branch. I give Ash one more hug because I just can’t help myself, and he returns it, burying his nose in my hair before releasing me.
“You guys must be exhausted.” I step back. “I’ll let you get ready for bed.”
“Actually, I do need a shower,” Cam says, grimacing down at himself. “I smell like airplane.” He grins over at me, waggling his eyebrows. “Wanna help scrub my back, Sin?”
As tempting as it is to hop into the shower with a golden-haired guy who looks like he’s the offspring of a god, I don’t want to cause friction between any of us, and I’m exhausted from the weekend sex marathon I just had.
Besides, it’s not like my saying no is going to crush Cam’s spirits. He’s been outrageously flirting with me since the day we met, and I think he’ll keep doing it until the meteor finally hits us and puts us all out of our misery.
“Maybe Asher can help you with that,” I joke instead.
The tall mage rolls his eyes fondly at us. “Asher is going to bed,” he announces, pulling off his shirt and stepping over to his dresser to grab his sleep clothes.
He’s got dark hair like Dmitri, but unlike Dmitri and Cam, who are both beefy and broad-shouldered, he’s lean and chiseled with a swimmer’s build. I think maybe that makes people underestimate him a little, but as his shirtless state right now proves, Asher’s no slouch. He’s all muscle.
And, okay, so maybe I’ve had a daydream or two about putting my mouth all over that toned chest and stomach of his, but… nobody needs to know that.
Cam disappears into the bathroom, and I get into bed before Dmitri flicks off the light. His gaze lands on me in the darkness, and I stare right back, even though I can barely make out his sharp, angular features through the shadows. He pisses me right the fuck off sometimes, but I missed him just as much as I missed the other two.
Not that I’d ever tell him that.
It would give him way too much leverage against me.
Our gazes hold for another moment, and then he walks across the moonlit room toward his bed. As he passes me, I could swear his fingers graze my hair, but the touch is gone before I can be sure.
I sigh contentedly, burrowing deeper into my blankets as my eyelids drift shut.
We’re all back together again.
Now school’s starting to feel like home.
Chapter 3
The next day, we head out for the dean’s speech in the auditorium. I can’t help but feel nervous as we approach the large stone building. The last time there was a big assembly, Raul used a complicated and powerful spell to freeze time in a bubble, trapping everyone in the hall and suspending them in time. Only Roman, Cam, Dmitri, Asher, and I were unaffected by it, since Dean Hardwick had called all teachers, staff, and students for the emergency announcement.
But nothing happens as we enter the large space to find our seats—well, nothing much. Alyssa sees me and diverts her course in my direction, clipping me hard with her shoulder as she passes me while the rest of her posse glares my way.
Jesus. They’re like a fucking herd of preteen bitches. Except that they’re all in their early twenties and should definitely know better by now. But privilege seems to have a way of slowing down emotional development sometimes.
They seem to go everywhere in a pack. Alyssa is the clear leader, and Megan, Kendal, and Cristina trail in her wake. Kendal, the one with dark red hair, is kind of at the bottom of the totem pole compared to the others. Megan’s the most vocal, loudly supporting whatever Alyssa says, and then there’s Cristina, who does an impressive job of giving off an aura of vast superiority despite never saying a word.
I’d been hoping time away from them over break would help them forget about me and find something more productive to focus their energy on, like school, or helping orphaned puppies, or knitting.
But it seems taunting me is still their favorite hobby.
Super.
As I move past them, ignoring their dirty glares, Cam loops two of his fingers into my belt loop to tug me closer and whisper a joke as Asher holds a seat for me, brushing the shaggy dark hair out of his eyes as his soft smile lights up his face.
The glares from the girls intensify and I realize… I’m an idiot.
Okay, so I’m not exactly dating Cam, or Asher, or Dmitri. But nobody can tell if we are or not. I live with them—unofficially, anyway—I always hang out with them, and Cam and Asher have no problem being as close and touchy with me as if we were dating.